Cheryne Blom is a Self-Empowerment Coach, Speaker and Author passionate about helping you rediscover your unique strengths, virtues and purpose so that you can actualize your full potential and thrive.
Cheryne Blom has worked as a Self-Empowerment Coach and Mindfulness teacher for over a decade. She has found that the greatest concern people face is overcoming stress, inner fears, self-doubt, and self-defeating patterns that keep them feeling stuck, confused and susceptible to disease and illness.
She is passionate about helping you rediscover your unique strengths, virtues and purpose so that you can actualize your full potential and thrive.
In 2009 Cheryne published her first book- “Be Enthused – 52 Weeks of Enthusiasm” which encapsulates the diversity of her message. Her blog, Be You Be True has had close to 500,000 views and her podcast Peace in My Pocket are enjoyed by over 50,000 people since 2017.
Born in South Africa, raised in the United States and living now in Australia, Cheryne considers herself a vanilla-flavoured-African-American-wear-as-often-as-she-can-UGG-boot-lover.
When she is not life-coaching, writing, course-creating, podcasting, speaking or meditating, Cheryne can be found with her three children and beloved boxer, Chester playing at a bayside beach with her feet immersed in water.
Cheryne’s personal mission is to inspire one million people to live courageous lives by the year 2022.
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A Guide to Tame your Ego, Discover your Authentic Self and Master your Life's Purpose
A supportive process of transformation guiding you through the delicate layers of your unconscious mind, to break free from self-defeating patterns and return to The Essence of You.
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Who are you? Who are you really? Beyond the roles you play, beyond the mask you wear, beyond the person you have been conditioned to be… how would you define your authentic self?
Is your authentic self the identity you present to the world or is there a subtle voice guiding you to be more? Do you sometimes feel stuck, frustrated or held back by self-doubt? Do you ever compare yourself to others or find yourself people pleasing? These are all signs that you are incongruent with your authentic nature and stuck in a self-defeating belief system holding you back.
In The Essence of You, Cheryne Blom, a self-empowerment coach, author and speaker, guides you through a supportive process of transformation. Through practical exercises, client anecdotes and her own personal story, Cheryne helps you tame your Ego, discover your authentic self and master your life’s purpose. She guides the reader into the delicate layers of the unconscious landscape, to reveal the underlying causes of stress, anxiety, self-doubt and self-sabotage and a pathway beyond them.
Cheryne has spent over a decade researching Self-Empowerment and working with hundreds of clients to identify how we can break free from these self-limiting patterns preventing us from being our best selves. People are searching for their truth and freedom, but do not know how to move beyond their conditioned default mode. The goal of self-development is to reach our full potential and live meaningful lives. And, to do so, we need the tools and a skillset to unleash the essential nature of who we are.
The book directs you through three stages of growth: Self-reflection, self-discovery and self-mastery and offers you the following learning outcomes:
- Learn how to recognize your self-defeating patterns.
- Understand how your beliefs were imprinted.
- Discover the terms and conditions defining your self-worth.
- Recognize patterns stemming from fear and how they are showing up in your career, health, finances and love life.
- Discover the virtues and character strengths of your true self.
- Learn how to forgive and let go.
- Learn how to embrace a mindset of trust, belief and faith.
- Develop greater levels of self-love.
- Learn how to activate your life’s purpose in every moment.
- Learn a process to navigate yourself through challenging situations so that you can maintain a state of calm confident courage.
Table of Contents:
Foreword
Acknowledgements
About this book
How to Maximize Your Reading Experience
Introduction - Breakdown, Break Free, Breakthrough
Part One: Self-Reflection
Chapter 1 The Mirror Never Lies
Chapter 2 The Two Sides of Self
Chapter 3 Shining Light onto our Blind Spots
Chapter 4 The Hidden Agenda of the Ego-self
Chapter 5 The Conditioning of the Ego-self
Chapter 6 The Terms and Conditions of our Self-Worth
Chapter 7 The Four Ugly Gremlins
Chapter 8 Twelve Self-Defeating Mindsets
Chapter 9 The Science of Fear and Stress
Chapter 10 Love, Money and Health
Chapter 11 Ego Personification
Chapter 12 A Summary of the Ego-self
Part Two: Self-Discovery
Chapter 13 The Courage to Change
Chapter 14 The Art of Letting Go
Chapter 15 Three Rules for a Growth Mindset
Chapter 16 The Anatomy of the Essence
Chapter 17 The Pathway to Essence
Chapter 18 Twelve Self-Empowering Mindsets
Chapter 19 The Essence of You
Chapter 20 Living with Purpose and Passion
Chapter 21 The Science of Calm
Chapter 22 Embodying the Essence
Chapter 23 A Summary of the Essence
Part Three: Self-Mastery
Chapter 24 A Delicate Balance
Chapter 25 The Happiness Formula
Chapter 26 Question 1
Chapter 27 Question 2
Chapter 28 Question 3
Chapter 29 Question 4
Chapter 30 Implementing and Practicing the Happiness Formula
Chapter 31 My Blessing for You
Chapter 32 Additional Resources
Chapter 33 About Cheryne
Chapter Breakdown
About this book:
Cheryne welcomes the reader to the core concepts of her book, explains how she formulated your findings and what the reader can expect from the book.
How To Maximize Your Reading Experience
The reader is guided to follow the accompanying workbook and video tutorials found in The Self Discover Hub on her website www.cheryneblom.com
Introduction
Cheryne introduces herself to the reader with the inciting event which provoked her personal renovation. With vulnerability, she openly explains her own emotional breakdown and how stripping away every bit of her life helped her break free from an outdated belief system and breakthrough to an awakened self.
Part One: Self Reflection
Cheryne opens the book with her own personal mantra- Authentic happiness is not for Chicken Shits. She explains how true happiness and empowerment require courage, a process of self-reflection and a deep desire to change.
Chapter 1 – The Mirror Never Lies
Extending on the introduction, Cheryne reveals her greatest weakness and the moment she realized what was at the heart of self-sabotage, self-doubt and self-pity. Cheryne introduces the reader to the core concepts of her book.
Chapter 2- The Two Sides of Self
This chapter introduces the reader to the Duality of Self- two opposing sides in each person that explain our deepest desires as well as our deepest fears. Each side is explained so the reader can begin to identify these contrasting forces within.
Chapter 3- Shining Light onto our Blind Spots
This chapter uncovers what is at the core of stress, fear, self-doubt and Ego. Cheryne uses genuine client conversations to expose three toxic core beliefs that narrate a ‘story of limitation’. This exercise offers the reader the questions to break into their own blind spots and know what is at the core of their fear.
Chapter 4- The Hidden Agenda of the Ego-self
The reader is introduced to six core wounds that trigger our fear and stress state. Cheryne explains the difference between our safety habits and our happiness habits.
Chapter 5 – The Conditioning of the Self
With vulnerability, Cheryne shares her own story to explain how our ‘story of limitation’ is conditioned. Cheryne offers the reader an easy format based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to understand the mapping of their beliefs, emotions and behaviour.
Chapter 6- Your Terms and Conditions of Self Worth
The reader is introduced to an internal contract made up of individual agreements which define what Cheryne refers to as the Terms and Conditions of our self-worth. The awareness of this contract helps a reader realise how they are constantly aiming to prove their worth rather than seek happiness.
Chapter 7- The Four Ugly Gremlins
Cheryne describes four key behaviors which reveal how Ego is showing up in one’s life. This awareness helps a person reflect on such behavior in their life and begin to notice how fear is motivating them towards playing safe. Client anecdotes help explain each behaviour.
Chapter 8- Twelve Self-Defeating Mindsets
In this chapter, the reader learns about the twelve self-defeating Egoic mindsets.
Cheryne explains that these twelve emotions rob a person of their power. Identifying these emotions gives a person greater Ego-awareness and the ability to understand what is at the root of these debilitating emotions/mindsets.
Chapter 9 – The Science of Fear and Stress
This chapter helps the reader understand the science of fear and how it affects the nervous system. With this awareness, a person can understand why they are stuck in fear and anxiety and begin to take steps beyond a disempowering mindset.
Chapter 10- Love, Money and Health
This chapter maps out how fear (Ego-self) is showing up in three key areas of our lives: love, money and health.
Chapter 11- Ego Personification
The reader is taken through a simple and entertaining process to help them disassociate from their Ego self. The reader can begin to see what aspects of their personality belong to Ego and are stemming from fear.
Chapter 12- Summary of the ego self
Part two: Self Discovery
Part two is opened with a definition of self-discovery whereby the reader is asked to explore their authentic virtues.
Chapter 13 – The Courage to Change
Cheryne shares her time with her spiritual mentor and the moment when she moved beyond her Ego coding and connected to her true Essence.
Chapter 14- The Art of Letting Go
This chapter offers readers a powerful process to embrace forgiveness and learn how to let go of a painful past.
Chapter 15- Three Rules for a Growth Mindset
Cheryne offers her three personal rules or agreements to break Ego patterning and embrace an Essence consciousness. Each rule is given an acronym to help the reader remember how to implement these rules in their lives.
Chapter 16 – The Anatomy of the Essence
This chapter helps readers identify the opposite mindset to fear and discover what their true Essence is made up of. Cheryne explains that the Essence is made up of Self Love that experiences the world with a mindset of Trust, Belief and Faith.
Chapter 17 - The Pathway to the Essence
As an antidote to the four negative behaviors of the Ego, this chapter helps readers identify four steps to connect with the Essence. The reader is offered tools to create ‘habits of connection’, daily rituals to connect with their true self.
Chapter 18- Twelve Self-Empowering Mindsets
Whereby Chapter 8 explored twelve disempowering mindsets, this chapter identifies twelve empowering emotions which symbolize authentic personal power. The reader learns how to flip their negative emotions into these empowering and uplifting mindsets.
Chapter 19- The Essence of You
This chapter represents the core taking for readers, as Cheryne offers a life changing tool to identify your own personal virtues and values. Cheryne explains that the goal is now to replace the dysfunctional belief system of the Ego with the knowledge of a person’s own moral code of conduct. The reader is taken through a values elicitation exercise and guided to define each virtue. This exercises becomes their own personal blueprint to live life through the awareness of their Essence.
Chapter 20 –Living with Passion and Purpose
This chapter helps the reader identify their Personal Purpose Proposition and gain a greater understanding as to how they can activate their purpose and passion in every moment.
Chapter 21 – The Science of Calm
Just as Cheryne explained the science of fear, she now explains the science of calm which outlines modern neuroscience research to explain how mindfulness can change the structure of the brain. The reader is brought to the awareness that there is a science to personal transformation.
Chapter 22 – Embodying the Essence
This chapter helps take the reader into their body so that they can feel the Essence deep within. This moves a reader beyond an intellectual experience towards a felt experience so that they can implement and embody the teachings.
Chapter 23 – Summary of Essence
Part three: Self Mastery
Part three is introduced by a definition and quote on self-mastery.
Chapter 24- A Delicate Balance
This chapter explains how the goal of Cheryne’s model is not to eliminate the Ego, as we need a discerning mind. The goal is to create a healthy balance between the Ego and The Essence, whereby the Ego is guided by the values of the Essence allowing a person to feel authentic and empowered.
Chapter 25– The Happiness Formula
The Happiness Formula is Cheryne’s unique coaching tool to help a person navigate themselves through difficult emotions. This a series of four questions a person asks themselves in the form of a personal meditation. At first a person is asked to complete the questions as a journaling exercise and Cheryne then outlines how a person can use these questions as a fast Mindfulness technique to recognize Ego and ensure you are responding from your Essence
Chapter 26– Question 1
Readers are provided easy steps and examples to execute question 1.
Chapter 27- Question 2
Readers are provided easy steps and examples to execute question 2.
Chapter 28 – Question 3
Readers are provided easy steps and examples to l execute question 3.
Chapter 29– Question 4
Readers are provided easy steps and examples to l execute question 4.
Chapter 30- Implementing and Practicing the Happiness Formula
The reader is given steps and further tools to understand how to implement the Happiness Formula when faced with challenging emotions or experiences.
Chapter 31- My Blessing for You
Cheryne closes the book with words of inspiration and encouragement for the reader.
Chapter 32- Additional Resources
Cheryne offers a summary of her favorite guided meditations as well as additional resources for the reader
Chapter 33- About Cheryne
The reader can find out more about Cheryne, online courses and how to stay connected.
The World Health Organization warns that stress is a “worldwide epidemic.” Global statistics reveal that over 40% of Americans, 60% of Japanese, 35% of Australians and 40% of French people experience moderate to high levels of stress. With greater levels of self-awareness, you will be able to understand your stress triggers, your stress responses and how to navigate yourself through difficult emotions and situations in a more empowering, resilient and calm way.
The Essence of You is targeted towards the Self-Help industry. Research conducted by Marketdata reveals that the self-improvement industry is worth over $11 Billion dollars in the United States alone and the industry is expected to receive 5.5% gains each year. Self-help books and audio sales amount to over $776 million in the United States.
The target audience is estimated to be women aged 25-55. A study conducted by Quartz found that out of the 65 million users on Good Reads, 62.5% of the Self-help reviewers are women. Although Baby Boomers will make up a large portion of book sales, majority of sales may come from Millennials.
The Essence of You will appeal to people searching for happiness, empowerment, stress management, emotional management, spirituality, confidence, self-worth, self-esteem, self-love, financial independence, mindfulness, inspiration and upliftment.
This is a book for the soul-seekers, self-actualisers and game-changers, offering easy to implement tools, to flip fear into freedom, one courageous choice at a time.
Cheryne is self-motivated and committed to marketing her book and her business. She is actively involved in Social Media on Facebook and Instagram and offers valuable content via a structured social media content plan. This includes weekly guided meditations, blog articles, inspirational quotes, live videos and announcements of upcoming events.
Weekly involvement with her email database of 1000 clients.
Proposed book marketing will include the following
- Global Book Tour including Australia, South Africa, United States, London and Israel.
- Promoted to her well established client base
- Constant engagement on social media and email marketing channels
- Launch of Self Discovery Hub on www.cheryneblom.com website. This is an online course platform that will offer video tutorials supporting the teachings in the book as well as additional mini short courses.
- Speaking engagements
- Promoted through her work as a facilitator with White lion Australia
- Press release to various media outlets
- Presentations on international Podcast shows
- Submission of articles to relevant media
Although many books have been written on the topic of fear, Ego, and Self-empowerment, Cheryne offers a unique take on these topics through her own transformational model, client anecdotes and personal stories. Cheryne has the ability to take many of these complex concepts and break them down into simple learnings the reader can easily implement into their lives.
Books sharing similar themes include:
The Judgement Detox and The Universe Has Your Back by Gabby Bernstein
Both books appeal to the spiritual self-helper and address the theme of moving from fear to faith. The Essence of You takes a reader deep into an understanding of the Ego-self and helps the reader recognize precisely how fear is showing up in their lives. The reader is also offered easy and practical exercises to dissolve their fear and discover their true essence.
Daring Greatly and The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown
Brene Browne’s bestselling books have changed the way people view vulnerability. Browne has structured years of research into easy to read fun guides to embrace the courage to be authentic.
In The Essence of You, Cheryne goes deeper into the theme of fear and vulnerability to reveal to readers the three toxic beliefs that are at the core of all fear.
A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle
A New Earth is a spiritual manifesto that helps people identify how the transcendence of an Ego-based consciousness will change our world and restore our personal freedom. First published in 2005 and by 2009 5 million copies were sold.
The Essence of You shares a similar message as its core message— when a person moves beyond the Ego self and its tainted belief system, a person returns the Essence of who they are and activates the purpose of their life.
A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson
Williamson uses the powerful teachings of A Course in Miracles to explain how enlightenment is the transcendence of fear into love.
The Essence of You shares a similar message as Cheryne explains that the anatomy of our core self is made up of love. This is self-love. Cheryne asks her readers to recognise a choice in every moment: fear or love.
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson
3 million copies sold and #18 on the Amazon best sellers ranking, Mark Manson made headlines with his book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. In his best seller he offers readers a real life approach to happiness and self-development. A central theme in his book is the acceptance of pain and how to use pain as a catalyst. He also encourages readers to focus on and build an effective value system.
The Essence of You focuses on a similar theme of how to embrace pain as a catalyst for growth and offers readers an extensive exercise to define both your virtues and your value system. The reader is taught a process to navigate themselves through difficult emotions and embrace being their Essence in moments that challenge them the most.
Sh#t Your Ego Says by James McCrae
In his book, Sh#t Your Ego Says, James McCrae, explains how we all have a higher self and a lower self. He attaches the negative and often destructive voice of the Ego to the lower self and helps the reader find ways to move beyond the voice of Ego and connect with your higher self.
The Essence of You identifies the two sides of self as the Ego and The Essence in great detail and helps the reader identify a pathway through the negative force of Ego so that they can connect with and activate their Essence.
Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday
In his book, Ego is the Enemy, Ryan Holiday defines the Ego as an unhealthy belief in our importance. The Ego is seen as a threat to true success and happiness and sabotages opportunities.
In the Essence of You, Cheryne helps readers understand what is at the core of the Ego-self and how its destructive and tainted belief system filters the way we see the world. Cheryne draws upon three client conversations to help readers uncover the complex layers of emotion and get to the core of fear and Ego. The reader is introduced to the four inner gremlins of the Ego-self and the Terms and Conditions of our Self Worth.
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On the eve of my thirty-fourth birthday I had an emotional breakdown. I felt depleted and depressed. My body, once bursting with energy and vitality, had become a shell encasing a numb soul. On the surface, everything appeared perfect. On the inside, I felt as if I was dying.
Honeymoon photos of me and my husband ‘Shaun’, reminded me that, back then, my eyes had sparkled with hope. I had promised myself on my wedding day that I would make this marriage work, even though the night before walking down the aisle I had been fighting a sickly feeling that this relationship was not right for me. I’d pulled myself together, zipped up the dress I so desperately wanted to show off, and said yes with a torn heart and a half smile.
I was not going to desert a family as my own father had deserted me. I was not going to let people down. My husband Shaun had two children from his first marriage whom I had grown close to. How could I hurt them? I was emotionally invested in this marriage… there was no turning back. My chaotic childhood, disrupted by change and loss, had taught me to be adaptable. I believed my ability to bend in order to fit in was one of my greatest strengths. My default was to slip into this mode unconsciously and automatically.
Eight years after our wedding day I had molded myself into a position I could no longer tolerate. We had two of our own children, a family business, and my dream house. I also had scarred feet from walking on eggshells. All my energy went into trying not to cause another argument. My life felt more like a circus act than the blissful fairy tale of happily-ever-after. Each day I would paint on a happy face and juggle all my should‘s, must’s and have to’s. “I must get dinner on, I have to go and do the pick-up, I should really play with the kids more, I should have sex with him tonight.” I had become a well-trained performing people-pleaser, putting everyone‘s needs over my own.
With insomnia keeping me awake into the wee hours of my thirty-fourth birthday, I stared at my eyes in those photographs, hoping they would somehow ignite desire in me once again. Mulling over possible choices, I kept coming back to the decision I knew I had to make. I felt sick at the thought of it. How could I be the one to hurt my family? How could I put myself first? Was that right or wrong or selfish?
I hadn't always been such a pathetic version of myself. There were days when I honored myself and had the courage to go after what I wanted. The shining example that stood out in my mind was when I left my family in South Africa at the age of twenty-one and went to Australia with my fiancé at that time. After our split eighteen months later, I decided to courageously stay on in my new life – alone. I was working on an exciting business idea called GO GIRL CLOTHING. I envisioned a funky clothing range for the sassy girl of the nineties – the girl with attitude! The independence and confidence I was feeling at the time inspired me to be a role model for other young women. I had a burning desire to contribute to a society hungry for change. From an early age, I had known I wanted to make a difference. And I had been honoring my empowered self until I caught the love bug.
At twenty-four I met beguiling Shaun (tall and charming, built like a rugby player) at a singles party – the Saturday night ‘find your match’ event in the pre-Tinder dating days. He reminded me of the boys I crushed over in high school: the ones who bullied me, teased me and used me sexually, and the ones I thought a girl like me would never win. Our instant attraction aroused a deep craving within me. He said he loved me. I desperately wanted ‘us’ to work. I gave up everything. It was the least I could do for him.
Shortly after we met, I shelved my business plan and joined him in his business. Spellbound, my independence quickly turned to neediness. And instead of pursuing my passionate purpose, I did everything I could to enable and support him. I thought I was on the path to what I wanted, but I was, in fact, on a total detour from my own truth. I was a million miles south of who I knew I could be and wanted to be. My thoughts were frazzled as I rushed from role to role – mother, stepmother, housewife, business partner. An inner restlessness pushed through my fatigue. My short temper distracted me from my frustration. Where had my ‘go-girl’ gone?
The truth is my bliss bubble with Shaun popped a year after our wedding when I was pregnant with our first child. By that stage I was already entrenched in martyrdom, immersed in the family business, caring for my stepsons, taking care of a household, and adjusting to the hormonal changes pregnancy brings. I could no longer give him the attention he needed, especially sexually, and he was quick to express his disapproval. At the beginning of my final month of pregnancy, I woke up one morning to find the whole right side of my face paralyzed. My first thought was that I had been bitten by a spider, but it wasn’t that simple. I was diagnosed with Bell’s palsy, a virus that attacks a nerve in the face. Looking in the mirror at my lopsided face, I thought, Oh my God, am I going to be like this forever? I am a monster. What a great way to introduce myself to my first child.
My body was trying to get my attention, but I was too numb and disconnected to listen. It took almost two years to recover. However, with the birth of my daughter, my confidence grew. I suddenly had a clear identity: I was Ashleigh's mum. But still, it was easier for me to submit than to argue. As the days and months turned into years I thought about leaving so many times. But when our son Jason was born five years later, I convinced myself that I had to stay for the sake of my children.
Everyone else’s happiness was more important than mine – my kids’, friends’, family’s and customers’ happiness all counted for more than mine. Seeing their contentment validated me and made me worthy. But the daily hustle masked a loneliness whose whispering voice began to amplify in the silent hours as my household slept.
My body was holding onto excess pounds of post-baby weight as fuel so I could deal with the busy chaos of life. My joints were swollen with repressed anger and unexpressed words. I had learned to avoid disturbing the peace at all costs. In an argument, I would shut down rather than stand up for myself. The pain of Shaun’s backlash was far greater than speaking up for myself.
My mind often replayed one of our most tumultuous arguments, an argument that took place shortly after Ashleigh's arrival. It was a chaotic day in our gift-basket business. I was in charge of sales, overseeing production, sourcing products offshore, managing local suppliers and much more. I pretty much ran the business on my own. That day we were on a tight deadline and everyone was tense. On my way out to see a major customer, I left instructions for a newly recruited factory assistant to wrap the pallets. I arrived back in the factory a few hours later to mayhem.
“Shaun is looking for you,” Rosie, one of the production girls, muttered without looking up from her work. The next moment Shaun stormed through the building like a hurricane. He was in my face, virtually frothing at the mouth. “What the fuck were you thinking?” he barked. “How could you be so stupid?” I stared at him, shell-shocked. All I could hear was something about the pathetic way the pallets had been wrapped. I was conscious of the production team watching us. Sandy, our youngest team member ran out, shaken by the violence of his attack on me. His rant over, Shaun torpedoed out the way he came in. Feeling like a scolded child, I gazed at my team in humiliation, then ran to my desk and cried. Perhaps it was the stress, perhaps it was the embarrassment or the injustice or the disrespect, but this episode represented hundreds of other small lashings that were building up within me and breaking my spirit.
A few days later, I packed a small suitcase, put Ash in the car, and drove off. With no extended family to run to and too much pride to turn to friends, I returned a few hours later like a naughty, contrite puppy, apologizing, of course. I suffered through many similar arguments in silence. I was like a trapped circus animal, surrendering to my master. Some nights my despair was so dark I would pray to God to take me. People often die spontaneously. Why couldn’t I? As each night passed, I continued to lose my strength. As my mid-life crisis drew closer, I could only see two choices ahead of me: death or divorce.
In the midst of my darkness, the universe sent me a catalyst. A man I was working with began to flirt with me. Our attraction stirred a stagnant life force deep within me. My feelings towards him highlighted the emptiness in my marriage. My cells tingled with desire. Was it possible for me to put my own needs first? I was torn. It was easier to wrap myself in despair than make a decision.
Then came the night that changed everything. Two months after my thirty-fourth birthday, I was woken up at the ethereal hour of 2 am by what felt like a cosmic slap. I sensed a higher presence shaking me from my slumber. I sat up, suddenly awake. One word instructed my next movements: ‘Enough!’
I went straight to my study and searched for an apartment online. I submitted an application then and there, and moved out of our family home one week later. I took only the necessities my two children and I needed. Eight boxes. No more. A light ship can weather any storm, I remember thinking.
I will never forget my first night of freedom in what my daughter called our ‘little cave.’ I lay in a fetal position on my borrowed mattress, weeping as if my body was purging years of pent-up anger, frustration, loneliness, disappointment and sadness. As I let go, I began to feel a release and a space opening within me. In the silence and solitude, I suddenly saw the parts of me that had been lost in the chaos. Now I wanted my confidence back. I wanted to regain my courageous edge and rekindle my passion for life.
But I also wanted to understand why I had lost it in the first place. What was it that made me lose my power to a man?
My new ‘single life’ offered quiet space to self-reflect and feel my pain. Instead of running from my emotions, I faced my wounds. As if I were a surgeon slicing into my pain, I discovered scar tissue left from childhood trauma. My father’s abandonment when I was nine years old was still raw. The years of humiliation at Shaun’s hands had deepened the wound of my perceived worthlessness. But this time of my life could not be about a man. I had to attend to my pain and ensure I did not repeat the same mistakes.
Although in those first few months of separation I pined for my children on the days they were with their father, divorce offered me the gift of me-time. I returned to my deepest passion – studying human behavior. I had my Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology, but in my twenty-one-year-old haste to go where my man went, I had become busy in my Australian life and never furthered my studies.
Looking back, I see that the hiatus was perfectly timed. While I was drowning in family and business commitments, healing modalities such as life coaching, positive psychology, neuro-linguistic programming and mindfulness took off in a big way. I had needed to wait for the right time to re-enter the education sector. Perhaps, too, I had needed to suffer more myself in order to be able to understand and guide others.
What I realize now that I did not know then is that I was being groomed. It was as if the higher presence that lifted me out of my slumber the night I decided to leave my marriage had heard my prayers and was responding. ‘Death and divorce’ were apparently not my only options. My whispering voice of guidance was preparing me for the next most important stage of my life.
As if the hands of my broken compass had returned to north, I was put back on the path my soul wanted most: the path of purpose. I had no idea at the time that this experience, which felt like rock-bottom, would become the foundation of all my life’s work in the years to come.
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Love you lovely! Thank you so much for your order! My heart is bursting with gratitude xxxx
A huge congratulations Cheryne. Can't wait for my copy xx
Thank you so much for your Support Brig. I cannot wait for you to have a copy :-) xxx
I can’t wait to have your book in my hands 😁
Thank you so much for ordering! I cannot wait to be dancing on the beach under the full moon together 😘
Ordered I hope you smash the 500 order🤩
Thank you so much Amana for your support and generosity. 🙏❤️
A pleasure my love. Xx
Looking forward to reading it!
Thanks so much for ordering your copy! Can’t wait to be sharing it with you xxx
I can't wait to read your book Cheryne! It sounds amazing and I look forward to discovering all that it will offer! Thank you for this opportunity and best of luck with your campaign! Love Marcia
Thank you so much for your Marcia! I cannot wait to share it with you. Xxx
I know your words will help so many. Anyone reading...please be part of the change.
Thank you for being my guardian angel.. all the luck to you
Thank you so much darling Justine for your support! Sending lots of love to you xxxx
Your light precedes you. Alway remember to trust yourself.
Thank you Karen for your support, guidance and love xxx
I love you Cheryne.. 💕. I’m so proud of you and know you are beginning a wonderful new journey! Wishing you the greatest success. ❤️
Thank you so much for your love and support Syd!!! I can’t wait to celebrate together 😘🙏❤️
Hope you reach your goal, you deserve it
Thank you so much Ashley!!! Thanks to this amazing collaboration, The Essencevof You can become a reality 🙏🙏🙏🙏
I look forward to receiving a copy of your book. Good luck with your promotion of it.
All success to you my friend, so deserved xxx
Thank you so much Gwen and Janet! I cannot wait for you to have your copies! Xxx
Cannot wait to see all your hard work come to fruition .xx
Thank you so much darling Mylee- so excited for these next steps xxx
Hi Cheryne, I’m so excited and can’t wait to receive my copy of your amazing book, love Lisa (Benson) xx
Thank you so much Lisa for all your support and help with this book. Can’t wait to see your book out in the world too xxx
Best of luck - I hope you get all your preorders so you can be one step closer to publishing
So excited for you Cheryne! Happy to support you! x
Much love and kisses xx
Thank you so much Dana, Kate and She for supporting the campaign. I so appreciate it!!!
So grateful for you bringing this book into the world XX
Thank you so much darling Lucy for your generosity and support! Xxxx
Cheryne looking forward to reading your words you always made so much sense . Well done x
Thank you so much for your support Delwyn! I can’t wait to be handing you your copies. Lots of love xxx
i am so very excited to watch you on this amazing journey. i cannot wait to get my book.
Oh thank you so much Sarah!!! I cannot wait to be sending you a copy x
Can’t wait to see your published book!
You are constant source of inspiration! I love you ❤️
Thank you so much for your support LuLu! I love you 😍😘
Can't wait to read your book cheryne. Congrats! And thank you for the light work you do... You are here to teach and heal ...such a wonderful gift you have x
Sorry it took me so long to actually sit down an order some copies. Congratulations beautiful so happy for you and looking forward to taking some time to read it soon.
Thank you so much Angelina! I so appreciate your support- can’t wait!!! 🙏❤️🙏❤️
So proud of you and excited for you, Cheryne! I look so forward to holding your book in my hands and reading it! Congratulations and best of luck for the next phase and the journey to publication.
Love, Michele
Wishing you great joy as you launch this wonderful book into the world.... may it lighten the lives of many MANY readers!!!
Thank you so much for your support Pip and Michele- I so appreciate it!!!!
So proud of you Cheryne! Can’t wait to read your book xx
Thank you so much for your support Kylie! Can’t wait xxx
Good Luck and all the best for hopefully reaching the best sellers list soon.
Love you passion and dedication to serve and inspire others
Love you xx
Love you, Ms Sue! Thank you so much for your support x
To the moon!!!
Thank you so much, Craig! ❤️🙏
Done xx
Thank you so much Simone! I so appreciate your support xxxxx
So proud of you !! Amazing
Thank you so much Dawn! Xxx
Enjoy your journey
Thank you so much for your support Kylie x
Cheering from the sidelines ... XX Judy
Thank you so much for your support Judy! I so appreciate it! Xxx
Hi Cheryne, all the best for this campaign. I'm looking forward to read it and using the tools. Thank you for bringing this book into being X
Charlotte
Thank you so much Charlotte for your support. Can’t wait to see you again x
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on Oct. 2, 2018, 5:59 a.m.
Love you ❤️ Lynne