Born into the caste of corpse handlers, I escaped the cremation grounds near Kashi at a young age. Stealing myself to Canada in a stark dream, I now succumb to the long-withheld urge to spread my seed. Be my bride!
Heh. This was the brief tongue-in-cheek blurb about myself I’d posted long ago on a South Asian dating site, back when I was 25, single and ready to mingle. I’d posted this because I wasn’t able to be unabashed about my so-called accomplishments (didn’t have any to speak of), my superlative masculine traits (they weren’t), or my envy-spawning sexual prowess (was still a virgin). So, I relied on a little ally – humour – that had helped me get through being a guy figuring crap out in the early 2000s, a time as yet untouched by today’s toxic masculine/alt-right-infused/incel-booming culture.
It was around that point it dawned on me that my overall ‘design’ (psyche, body image, sexual awareness, agency, will) was hardly a blueprint for thriving in life. I will use the word design often in my writing. It neatly encapsulates just generally how we’re made and how we’re thrust into the world, expecting said design will enable us to cope and hopefully, more.
Two concepts pretty much sum it up - threatened and threatening – gotta always be afraid of rejection/humiliation and gotta always keep myself suppressed/limited lest I… with subconscious “how dare I…” messaging internally ensuring I don’t violate these boundaries.
These are the two words that have defined much of my adult life, to the point where growing up, my default physical state had matured in ways that would probably find good company with a deer caught in headlights. Just how? A perennial sense of tightness in my core driven by fear, toxic shame and guilt; a decreased ability to breathe fully and engage life; a deflated posture; a limited capacity for mobility and action; and actual genital atrophy.
Yep, there, I said it. Imagine waking up one day as a man and then finding out the joy bits down there haven’t been blessed by the puberty fairy as well as most might and unable to actually derive pleasure or imbue strength as a supposed man should or can. So, it’s against this basic design that enters cannabis. I believe that this, yes - a drug – facilitates one thing really quite well (if you can ignore for a moment all that crap about stoner culture and “whoa.. man” stereotypes and the ways in which society has judged or criticized its use and abuse). It's a powerful tool to connect with your body, when used that way and used sparingly.
I developed a practice that revealed the true nature of my mental/physical prison and when combined with mindfulness, exposed me to the prevailing self-image and worldview underlying it – the overall perspective that had kept me on the side of the fence I was most familiar with. A “delta of misery”, if you will. Once I began to really be aware/feel how those perspectives took form in my body, I began to reject them over time. Threats diminished, I felt less of a threat in plain giving to and believing in myself. I rejected the basic premise/expectations/paradigms and all those external benchmarks driving those tortured states. This is the rationale behind Meek 2.0.
At this point, I feel like sharing this perspective and practice as it may benefit some. I’m a seasoned technical writer and learning/development professional and so, am confident I can help convey the “how to” to get you started and moving along this journey. In addition, I hope to convey this with humor, logic, and pathos. It’s a book, just a book. Some ideas. No workshops, retreats, and the like.
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A manual for men ill-served by design, nurture, and civilization to cut losses, break molds, and thrive different.
Perspective and Practice giving men license to breathe and be real in these frenetic times. Darwinian limitations, inexhaustible conditioning, and risk mitigation machinery. Watch them work. Show them the door.Share Tweet LinkedIn Embed pszr.co/ZAONs 138 views
|Mind & Body|
|3 publishers interested|
Threatened – a threat-mitigation machinery where you constantly perceive threats outside of you that will harm you, thereby suppressing your ability to learn and grow. Translates to having a highly fixed mindset, unable to grow and learn and take in criticism over perceived flaws, imperfections, mistakes and fallibilities. A protective façade created to ensure rejection and humiliation are mitigated at all costs, hiding/embellishing said flaws and mistakes and expending energy to ensure this façade is maintained against all odds. Unable to be real, worried about outside validation and approval for the façade created, whether it’s the body and physical characteristics, chasing achievements and possessions as an extension of one’s abilities and resourcefulness, and all that jazz.
Threatening – a threat-mitigation machinery where you constantly perceive yourself to be a threat to the outside world, thereby suppressing your ability to engage and embrace life. Translates to being unable to actually give to or believe in yourself, feeling like any sense of abundance or strength beyond conditioned limits are a violation of your programmed worth or capability. This deep down need for you to hold shame and guilt at feeling, acting, and being past this “mold” that has been cast long ago, forever feeling deprived and disempowered. Any abundance and strength felt is but paltry; a mere relief and respite gotten for said deprivation and disempowerment; and gained through taking from scarcity or dominating over weakness.
Why This Book
This book challenges your status quo of growing up experiencing a state of feeling Threatened and Threatening as defined. This book is for all them men labelled as outliers, freaks, geeks, nerds, dorks, introverts, ne’er-do-wells, mutants, weirdos, misfits, and unfit oddballs left wayward on the path to success, progress, profit, attainment, and yes, even enlightenment. See, sometimes useless designs are just that. Useless. But useless for what? This book explores that. We’re basically talking about the tribe of meek, poorly served by evolutionary pressures. It’s about understanding how those pressures – a combination of your design, nurture and the surrounding societal forces – created your perspective as well as the physical states that express and reinforce it and vice versa in a runaway feedback loop.
Meek 2.0 is a sort of wayfinding manual to live, survive, and maybe, even thrive in this equally oddball, f’d-up, unfair, unjust, mad world that seems bent on cooking us in a hot soup of stress from the moment we’re born. To see and experience what’s just not working for you and unsubscribe from it – cut your losses, break your mold, and thrive different. Embarking on a middle path of being non-threatened and non-threatening. That is the sign post – what you’ll aspire to in your thinking, feeling, and experiencing. So, Meek 2.0 also a manual of practice that shows the “how-to” as you go about a mind-body modality to physically experience that “delta” – the “more” beyond your known limits where you’re less threatened and less threatening, and then understand/incorporate the resulting perspective unique to your life story that will help maintain it. The means are relatively simple – catalyzed by Cannabis (if you feel comfortable with) or breathwork/yoga to experience it, which is then reinforced by mindfulness, self-inquiry, and effort to sustain it as you incorporate that new non-threatened/non-threatening perspective and new relationship to your physical self.
Technically, I should be somewhat of an authority on manuals, having been a technical writer for ages and currently donning a suit to go eke an existence in the world of corporate learning and development. I should also (theoretically) be an authority on being an outlier, nerd, misfit, and such having been extremely deuced by the powers that be (Exhibits L, A, M, and E: harsh, puritanical upbringing, garbage immigrant experience, massive failings in the annals of achievement, and overall poor expression of an already underwhelming gene pool). Far from this being a cry-me-a-river piece, my heritage and travails have shaped a perspective that has finally (today) brought about a sense of tranquility and strength I certainly wasn’t taught by any monk or self-help book.
Cut Losses and Break Molds
This book looks at the world out there that must not be questioned, as we flail about wishing it were this or that. Taking a look at the world critically – I mean, all the moving pieces – helps. There’s the ridiculous world of achievement, attainment, perfection-seeking, and infallibility filled with such things that fill the closet of individual minds such as degrees, awards, schools, rank/file/position, possessions, and all the promises that drive (or halt) our minds. There’s the related and equally insane world of the Darwinian paradigm that shapes our bodies and how we treat ourselves, from bare evolutionary markers of fitness such as size, weight, waist-to-hip/shoulder-to-hip ratios, genital/asset sizes, symmetry, golden ratios of beauty, male-female dimorphism as related to power-to-size, asset-to-scarcity and all that garbage (feels silly even writing it out – but serious scientists try to convince us to accept the human animal along these lines, I kid you not!) And there’s plenty more in the well I draw from. Race, culture, religion, there’s so many inputs and variables.
I rely on three allies to help cement the perspective that is formed by freeing your body and literally unsubscribe out of all the crap mentioned so far, so you’re able to sustain it as part of your default state more and more – humour (shake your head and laugh at some of sh*t that abounds); logic (disassemble and make sense of the sh*t that makes your brow furrow with confusion); and pathos (realize we’re all in it together to some extent and feel the inherent suffering). I mean, what is a Perspective after all? It’s your eyes looking out at the big, bad world and making some sense of all that you’ve been exposed to. It also contains an understanding of your place in that world – how the way you’ve been made has interacted with the external environment you’ve been thrust into.
So, there. Useless designs. Useless world. You’re stuck somewhere in between, feeding off the teat of stress, anxiety, hopelessness, failure, and pretending like everything is peachy-keen in front of the next human specimen you poke your face at. Meek 2.0 is a manual to break down the inequities and garbage involved in those aspects that form your perspective through some pretty basic principles – humour, logic and pathos – and achieve a state of being non-threatened and non-threatening. You experience and reinforce a renewed perspective through a focused physical approach, to reveal the physical delta between that state and the waking state you usually find yourself in, through Cannabis and a mind-body practice. I rely on a Practice that introduces Cannabis as a tool (or breathwork/yoga for those not comfortable with it) for that initial self-discovery - a revelatory means of feeling “whoa!... this is how much my body feels tight/ numb/weak/ immobile/ repressed/ greedy/ vain/ afraid…?” However, as Alan Watts once said, “Once you hear the message, hang up the phone.” So, no, I’m not advocating a lifelong dependence on a substance, but only that it does have some uses I find beyond mere psychotherapy and/or antidepressants. Use of such “tools” also requires a degree of self-inquiry, i.e. looking at the former, changing, and new perspectives, because your body traps your mind, your mind reinforces your body, and so on goes the loop. Free the body, free the mind. Free the mind, free the body. These are nothing but loops that feed off of each other.
It’s this practice and perspective that has allowed me, over the years, to understand how positive feedback loops help actually live life in a way that rewards and strengthens. I can give to myself and believe in myself, because I don’t feel like I’m being threatening /taking/ dominating in any way; I can be real because I don’t feel threatened. And so can you. You can begin to feel worthy and capable of all that has been stripped of your human potential, and with that self-worth and self-belief, you give yourself more and believe in yourself more and so on. This is then evident in your actions, how you engage and embrace life with less fear or acting out of needing compensation and satiation, and in the way you engage other humans, even experiencing connection and love freed for the first time of all the transactional garbage underlying it all that merely acts to provide relief and respite for shit you’re unable to face.
The end result is you waking up and living moment-to-moment a somewhat less threatened and less threatening life.
This is primarily a book for those men who identify as being powerless or rejected (meek), who have long held that this is their lot in life. I hope to challenge the perspective that keeps them in place, taking a look at the story that forms their identity in the aspects of self-worth and self-belief that can be re-visited. Looking at the world as well that created such a mindset and relationship to one’s body is something I explore and will benefit my audience in terms of yielding a state that is free (or significantly lowered) in terms of internal and external threats. I also explore a mind-body practice that initially uses certain benefits inherent in cannabis use, before transitioning to some form of breathwork/mindfulness to maintain the gains that come along the way. I adopt a simple, logical and humorous approach to re-shaping this perspective in the form of a ‘manual’, having been a technical writer and learning and development professional.
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