Vaughn Feighan is a 21-year old college student at Boston College. He is currently an intern for the United States Senator from Massachusetts – Edward Markey. Additionally, each week he works at the Suffolk County House of Corrections, a prison in the heart of Boston, as well as a foster home for medically-disabled and terminally-ill children. In order to financially support himself, Vaughn is an international model who has worked with some of the biggest names in the industry, traveling to London, New York, Los Angeles, Milan, Paris, etc. This type of work comes with a large social media following.
In addition to The Pitfall Experiments, Vaughn has completed 10 other novels of various genres. He writes op-ed columns for The Heights, a newspaper in Boston, regarding the intersectionality of philosophy and everyday life. When he studied in London, he wrote a dissertation on the relationship between power hierarchies and their implicit portrayal in language. Earlier this year, he was selected to present another original thesis on identity formation and popular music at the Eastern Communication Association in April of 2019.
The drive to become an author is attributed to the power of various forms of entertainment – books, magazines, social media, television, film –and its effect on the American culture. Given his immense travels to both developed and developing nations, he feels it his responsibility to write novels which will subconsciously change the mindsets of the audiences who read them. Each novel he has written has one theme; for The Pitfall Experiments that theme is: Perfection is computer generated. It is imposed upon us by those who are content with the unoriginality of society. Do not be perfect.
$20 You have my support.
Unlike donations to the Red Cross for my marathon training, you get a "tangible" little something-something in return. If you are good at decoding meaning and want to see what went on in my head when I was a sophomore in college, then pick this one. You will see some very distinct themes begin to emerge that have made me who I am today!
$50 Okay boi, I see you.
You are a heavy roller, nothing more to be said. Pick this bonus if you want to receive three copies of this book. The material will not change from copy to copy but I will make sure to send you a personal explanation for any concept in the book that interests you. (You have to read it first - unless you are physic.)
$100 I got money, and you know it, take it out your pocket and show it.
Pick this one if you want my personal cell phone number. (Just kidding, I am not that narcissistic.) Pick this if you want 5 digital copies and want to see me do something - anything of your choosing - on one of my social media pages. You'll get a shoutout when I do it. Legal limits are part of this agreement.
$250 Faith in Vaughn Feighan.
Honestly, if you donate this much money, I will give you my personal email address and we can decide what your Bonus will be together. My creativity will be saturated with the $250 you just donated so I will be extremely generous.
$500 Very straight forward.
If you donate this much money, when this book gets published, you shall be in the Acknowledgements section. No question asked. You'll receive 25 copies of the book and practically anything else you want. [End thought.]
An emotionless teenage assassin in post-war London attempts to free himself from dictatorial rule with help from the princess of England.Share Tweet LinkedIn Embed pszr.co/aIwNI 2219 views
|Young Adult Sci-Fi|
|11 publishers interested|
An emotionless teenage assassin in post-war London attempts to free himself from dictatorial rule with help from the princess of England: The Country dictates international policy, Keepers rip young people away from their families to transform them into lethal weapons, a place where the fundamental understanding of what constitutes a human being has been blurred beyond distinction; 20-year-old, Colman Cai, battles with the fact that he is a puppet of the government that created him.
As the world’s beloved Alpha Spike, Colman is their god. He has no emotion and his euphoria during Encounters makes him a celebrity. The Country, the totalitarian dictatorship ruled by the maniacal Kendall Khan, is the power source keeping Colman at the top of the food chain. Khan lets ordinary citizens, Sivs, attack Spikes for tax. While no Spike has ever been defeated in battle, the hope that a Siv could achieve the same fame and popularity spur thousands of people to try their luck in the deadly battles.
But what happens when the Alpha Spike shows that he is not a god?
It is not until Colman arrives in England that the Keepers finalize plans for his Execution. The Londoners, the people conspiring with Khan, fall foolishly to Colman’s charm. Marist and Vassar Axton, the princesses of England and one of them being a double-agent, furiously fight against totalitarian rule. When Cai returns to the clutches of his government, Marist tries to warn the world what is happening but no one believes her. As a last-ditch attempt to save a falling angel, she leaves her thrown in order to save Colman. When secrets about her own past begin to surface, her royal past begins to destroy her. Colman must make a choice but so must Marist: is it better to live as a pampered murderous puppet or live in absolute uncertainty?
Chapter 1: COLMAN CAI, a genetically-engineered superhuman created for the Spike Program (a program of emotionless warriors that distract the world from their everyday problems as a way at keeping peace), embarks for the airport on his way to London, England. Before he is even out of his penthouse, two Sivs (the average citizen in this society) attack him in hopes of getting his superhuman abilities.
Chapter 2: An introduction to the Spike Program as well as a brief recount of how the Country became the most powerful nation in the world. Introduces the theme of dissolution of the family. Also explains, the importance of being an emotional killer.
Chapter 3: Colman’s entire Fame team – comprised of body guards, stylists, managers, schedulers, etc. – arrive at the airport and a press conference is held on the tarmac before they depart for London.
Chapter 4: The team arrives in London and, unexpectedly, the co-pilot attacks Colman as he is deboarding the plane. He loses blood at such an alarming rate that he starts to hallucinate that he saw a small boy watching him from the ground. Unable to help, as is Country policy, his team watches in horror. Colman eventually defeats the co-pilot.
Chapter 5: On the drive from the airport to Buckingham Palace where he is expected to meet THE QUEEN and her granddaughters, Colman detects a figure stalking the convoy from the woods as they drive. “It” is moving at a superhuman rate and he cannot fathom what it is because he is the only Alpha Spike in existence; Sivs cannot move that fast.
Chapter 6: After arriving at Buckingham Palace where Colman makes a grand entrance by taking off his shirt as he greet the remaining members of the Royal family, he sees MARIST AXTON. Marist is the youngest granddaughter but a world-renowned beauty. Unlike any other person he has ever been around, his entire demeanor changes. He “feels” differently when he is around her – which is impossible because, supposedly, all of his emotions have been extinguished.
Chapter 7: Now back in isolation as his team plans the rest of the weekly visit, he has time to himself. He snoops around the palace looking for mischief and happens upon a secret entrance that leads to a small room where he hears Marist and her older sister, VASSAR, talking about him. By no means are they going to play along with his games while he is there. He takes this as a challenge.
Chapter 8: Colman and the princesses get ready to go to Club Siv for the evening. BEACON TORIN, the daughter of Australia’s President, is there and is obsessed with Colman. Colman wants to see how far he can push the princesses and is not looking forward to seeing Beacon.
Chapter 9: Immediately after entering the club, Marist disappears into a back room and Colman is left with Beacon. He spends the night with her but she is suddenly Executed when 10 masked warriors attack Colman in the middle of the club. He Executes all of them but before he is about to destroy the last one, it mutters “They are after us all. No one is helping us.” Colman then recognizes the man; he is a Beta Spike from Country.
Chapter 10: MOLLY O’REILLY, Cai’s manager and the person who has functioned as a mother-figure all his life, holds a press conference the morning after to discuss the events. The international community is in an uproar that Beacon was killed. Molly says that the Encounter was not a Country-sponsored event – such a thing is not allowed on international soil. After the uproar ends, the princesses take Colman to Shakespeare’s Globe to watch a performance of Romeo and Juliet.
Chapter 11: When safely out-of-view of the news crews waiting for Colman, Marist warns him that she has heard rumblings that KENDALL KHAN, the maniacal ruler of Country, has sent spies to Execute him. Colman laughs her off and does not take the threat seriously.
Chapter 12: Uncoincidentally, Kendall Khan arrives in London and tortures Colman to show him that he is still the boss. He attempts to recruit Colman for a “special project” he is working on but Colman refuses. Khan departs leaving Colman with a warning to reconsider his offer.
Chapter 13: After Khan departs, Colman finds that Marist has been spying on him – raising suspicions. He also discovers that she has superhuman abilities. She flees from the woods where Khan tortured him and runs faster than Colman can run.
Chapter 14: Once back at Buckingham Palace, Marist intrigues Colman even more by sharing a confidential recording where her grandmother and Molly are heard to be discussing Molly’s permanent reassignment to Her Majesty’s team. Colman gets the distinct impression that Molly is not loyal to the Country anymore.
Chapter 15 and 16: The next day, the princesses take Colman to the Rowley Mile – a famous English horserace. As the guest of honor, Colman is selected to ride ceremoniously in front of the crowd. He does but The Queen created a crowd of holograms and then orders her own Execution on Colman using five robotic horsemen and a pack of savage hounds. Colman defeats the hounds but loses so much blood that he passes out, uncertain of his future.
Chapter 17: Now exposed as violating international treaties regarding the Spike Program, the Queen flees the scene and in her absence, Colman’s teams throws a lavish party at the palace. Then the Queen tries to break back into the palace but Colman is overcome with “something he has never felt before” and Executes the Queen of England. His EYE (the device used to guide his decision making skills in the place of emotions) was hacked into and gave him an inaccurate assessment of the battlefield.
Chapter 18: Colman and his team must now flee England for the violation of even stronger international treaties. In this freak out, something happens in Colman’s mind and a small piece of him believes that some part of his life has been awakened from the trauma.
Chapter 19: Now back in the United States, Colman takes another press conference like a champ. However, a journalist has uncovered the same tape which Marist shared with him and the conference is cut short as Colman’s entire security team closes in on the reporter. Colman now believes Marist and thinks his whole team is out to make sure he dies.
Chapter 20 and 21: Marist makes contact with Colman and warns him that Kendall Khan is going to try to Execute him. Colman still doesn’t believe her because he trusts Kendall Khan although he tortured him. Without him, the Country would not make any money. Khan would not destroy that source of immense income.
Chapter 22: Khan orders an emergency meeting with Colman. It is his birthday. Colman travels to the Black Mansion (the converted White House). On his trip to the mansion, he is abducted by Country Guards who tie up his old security team. The pleases Colman who believes he is now truly safe.
Chapter 23: Khan discusses his plan for a revolution over dinner. Khan wants Colman to be the face of the revolution. Colman thinks he is joking.
Chapter 24: Khan brings out Colman’s parents who he was told were dead. Khan has kept the Cai’s as prisoners for 21 years and now intends on filming the public Execution because Colman denied his offer. Colman is knocked unconscious and taken into the Grand Foyer where camera crews are waiting.
Chapter 25: Khan recounts what actually happened with his parents. The Spike Program was secretly failing and Colman’s parents were the last two Alpha Spikes who could procreate by natural means. Colman was born and then his amygdala was altered so he would be a killing machine.
Chapter 26: Colman is injected with a vial of Nalgene-521 which is supposed to reestablish the amygdala pathways in the brain (emotional processing core) so he can feel emotions before he dies. Khan sees it as an act of mercy. Colman passes out from the influx of new feelings.
Chapter 27: In the final moments before his death, after he watches his parents die, Marist and a team of English warriors break into the Black Mansion and it is unclear what happens with Colman as he seizes on the floor.
-The number of new Adult titles published more than doubled in the decade between 2002 and 2012 — over 10,000 books came out in 2012 versus about 4,700 in 2002. (https://www.thebalancecareers.com/the-young-adult-book-market-2799954)
- NA's target is readers between the ages of 18 and mid-20s, times when new adults are first feeling independence and finding their place in the world.
- New Adult also features deeply-felt high drama.
This novel could be marketed as a young adult adult science-fiction bordering on the lines of adult science fiction. As one of the largest markets available, yet also containing some of the greatest barriers to entry, young adult science fiction would benefit from this series because it incorporates the every-changing world of technology along with the boom of social media and the ‘untouchability’ which fame seems to provide.
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Eastern Association of Communication Scholars (April 2019): Selected to present thesis on identity formation and popular music.
48 Hours: First Junior in Boston College history to be asked to present narrative to incoming Boston College freshman class.
Anybody who I modeled for (many of them are not on-going contracts though).
Boston College – for now.
1) The Bourne Identity by Robert Ludlum.
a. Publisher: Richard Marek
b. Publication Year: 1980
d. Difference: My novel is more science-fiction based (the incorporation of near-future technologies) and also is set in a semi-dystopian setting. It occurs in a world that has been plagued by acid rains, dying populations, and a complete disintegration of a societal functioning. It represents what would happen if Kylie Jenner’s obsession for fame and money was cherished above everything and instead of living your own life, you were engrossed in watching other people die.
2) Partials by Dan Wells.
a. Publisher: HarperCollins
b. Publication Year: 2012
c. Description: Partials—engineered organic beings identical to humans—has decimated the population. Reduced to only tens of thousands by a weaponized virus to which only a fraction of humanity is immune, the survivors in North America have huddled together on Long Island.
d. Difference: My novel encompasses an international system (set in London and New York) and involves a subspecies of human beings – Spikes. Spikes are human in every sense of the word but they have been altered to feel no emotions and programmed to enjoy risking their life in Encounters – government-sponsored battles that the world is able to watch. There is no conflict between different species of “people” but rather the agendas of competing countries.
3) The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins.
a. Publisher: Scholastic Press
b. Publication Year: 2008
c. Description: Each year, as a punishment for the failed rebellion by District 13, the 12 Panem districts are forced to pay tribute to the ruthless Capitol regime by sending one man and one women to compete in a fight to the death.
d. Difference: While this novel is somewhat a romance (Marist is Colman’s Pitfall) the romance does not officially play out until the second book of the series. My novel does not have any type of formal “competition to the death”, Encounters can occur randomly at any point in the day – in public, at a party, or in an airplane. The largest similarity occurs because both conflicts are government-sponsored.
4) The Sarah Conner Chronicles (television)
a. Publisher: N/A
b. Publication Year: N/A
c. Description: Sarah Connor and her son, John, try to stay under-the-radar from the government, as they plot to destroy the computer network, Skynet, in hopes of preventing Armageddon.
d. Difference: This television series incorporates much more science-fiction elements than my series. While Sarah Connor is somewhat emotionally distant, the premise is based around fighting technology. My novel seeks to explain that we should not fight technology but also not completely subjugate the very characteristics that makes us human – emotions, love, trust, etc.
5) The Blade Runner by Alan E Nourse.
a. Publisher: David McKay Publications
b. Publication Year: 1974
c. Description: Billy Gimp runs "blades" for Doc as part of an illegal black market for medical services. The setting is a society where free, comprehensive medical treatment is available for anyone so long as they qualify for treatment under the Eugenics Laws. Preconditions for medical care include sterilization, and no legitimate medical care is available for anyone who does not qualify or does not wish to undergo the sterilization procedure (including children over the age of five).
d. Difference: The similarities include the dissolution of families and the medical technology used to alter the human body to achieve a “sterilized” form with no defects – that is Colman Cai. However, my novel is less one-sided as it emphasizes human connection and much less futuristic. The near-future theme will be able to position this series as a much more attainable and plausible future than Blade Runner. I believe this fact will be a major contributor to audience engagement.
6) Unwind by Neil Shusterman.
a. Publisher: Simon and Shuster
b. Publication Year: 2007
c. Description: After the Second Civil War was fought over abortion, a compromise was reached, allowing parents to sign an order for their children between the ages of 13 and 18 to be "unwound" – taken to "harvest camps" and dissected into their body parts for later use. The reasoning is that, since 99.44% of the body is used, unwinds do not technically die because their individual body parts live on.
d. Difference: Colman Cai is not a combination of many different parts, rather, he was born one human being and has remained as such. The post-apocalyptic society in which Cai lives was created for the Famous, by the Famous and wealthy. He is at the top of the food chain and does not have to worry about any parts of his life that matter to most other people – especially surrounding the family structure.
7) Legend by Marie Lu.
a. Publisher: Penguin Books
b. Publication Year: 2011
c. Description: What was once the western United States is now home to the Republic, a nation perpetually at war with its neighbors. Born into an elite family in one of the Republic's wealthiest districts, fifteen-year-old June is a prodigy being groomed for success in the Republic's highest military circles. Born into the slums, fifteen-year-old Day is the country's most wanted criminal.
d. Difference: The conflict is not between people but rather the dictatorial rule of Kendall Khan, the leader of Country. Colman is not seeking out someone else’s murder, nor is being framed; rather, Cai has been selected to be Executed because he has fulfilled his purpose for Kendall Khan. He may come from the top but his limited interactions with the general population make him question the very existence of his life and make him search for more.
8) Throne of Glass series by Sarah J. Maas.
a. Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing
b. Publication Year: 2012
c. Description: Throne of Glass follows Celaena Sardothien, an 18-year-old assassin in the Kingdom of Adarlan. After being imprisoned for a year by the King, she accepts his son's offer to compete with other assassins and thieves for a chance to serve as the King's champion, after four years of which, she would be granted freedom. This leads her to form unexpected bonds with Chaol, the captain of the guard, and Dorian, the Crown Prince of Adarlan. Over time, Celaena is drawn into a conspiracy and a series of battles, leading to discoveries surrounding both the Kingdom and herself.
d. Difference: My novel is much less fantasy based and focused more on the operations of present-day United States (after a natural disaster and restructuring of society). Throne of Glass was so successful that Maas wrote seven books following the adventures of her own teenage assassin.
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My name is Colman Cai: I am a Famous Alpha Spike. I am Famous because I was born to die. I enjoy being Famous but I despise the people who made me Famous, yet, I adore the people who keep me Famous. This whole thing – my life – is a show for those people who have propelled me to the top of the food chain. I know that I am entertainment but I do not care. Even if I wanted to care, I do not have the capacity to do so. It is how it has always been and always will be. Executions are my legacy but enjoying the life of the rich and powerful is worth it.
Each day, an escort of four, midnight-black Cadillac Escalades arrive outside my penthouse at 220 Central Park South between 8:05 AM and 9:25 AM. The variation is purposeful because it forces me to be ready at a moment’s notice. The cars arrive sporadically, and at random, because the hoard of fans crowded outside my building have an uncanny ability to detect when I am about to move. Their desperate cheers float from the ground, past the 69 floors, and I know the cars have arrived when their cheers turn into screams.
Once the first car has confirmed its arrival, I receive a notification on my EYE – my technologically superior communication platform embedded in my cornea – alerting me that my personal security has exited the transport and is coming to collect me. It takes them approximately four to six minutes to exit the cars, sweep the lobby, then ascend to the penthouse. These four to six minutes are the last moments of freedom, possibly ever, that I might have. I named these guards Cassidy, Rosen, Downey, and Fanto; I chose their names because they would be in severe danger should I know their real identities. Anyone who gets close to me always dies.
As I wait for them, my stylist team – comprised of a Jamaican woman with an incredibly thick accent, who I call Bella, and a man from the Czech, who I dubbed Roberto – work feverously to make me presentable. As Bella and Roberto comb my hair, pluck my eyebrows, and add a smidge of makeup to my cheeks, I scroll through my EYE to update myself on the morning news. They do this as I sit in a massive, leather-backed chair in front of a mammoth mirror with lights around it. It reminds me of the kind I saw in an old-time Western movie…not that you should know what that is. The world has since been stripped of all popular forms of art but I am one of the lucky ones who has access to historical artefacts. Money buys me that privilege.
By the time I finish checking my EYE, my security will have cleared the lobby and will have removed the screaming fans until I arrive downstairs. They are herded, like animals, to metal pens outside my building. My loyal team is required to wear matching Hugo Boss suits so they look professional. Hugo sponsored me when I was a young Spike, without the title of Alpha, and now the company owns a piece of me; I must return their investment by wearing their clothes. Every member also wears sunglasses with their suits because come on, how could they not? What people would ever take security seriously if they did not have some shades?
As my guards make their way to collect me from the penthouse, the adoring fans huddled against the metal barriers start to shake them in anticipation. When it comes to me, people tend to lose themselves in my presence. This wail of lust happens every morning and although the sound can be heard from my room, I have become so accustomed to the procedure that I can expertly tune it out. The building staff then make sure that my backdoor exit is cleared and security begins their daily routine. The elevator take only 30 seconds to ascend the 69 floors and my team always arrive in the same way; Fanto and Rosen out first, Downey and Cassidy following behind. They do this the same way every day because, with the life I live, the consistency of such a simple task comforts me; I never know if today is going to be my last day on Earth. These four were assigned to me when I was first created for the Pit and have saved my life on multiple occasions.
"Mr. Cai it is time to go. The lobby has been cleared. The staff is awaiting our instructions. We pulled the vehicles around back by the boarding dock today. There were more Sivs crowded in front of the main entrance this morning than we had anticipated. Our drivers have assured me that the boarding dock has been blocked and secured for departure. We are waiting for your orders. No hurry, sir." Fanto says once they emerge from the golden-plated elevators.
I always remember to thank Bella and Roberto for their work while admiring myself in the mirror. Thirty seconds later, my vintage Louis Vuitton jacket, Armani aviator sunglasses, Tumi backpack, and a simple baseball hat are in my possession and I am leaving the safety of my home to enter the world of the dying. Fanto signals one of the other three guards to accompany me on my descent and Bella and Roberto look towards me as the elevator doors closed. I know exactly what they think each time I flash them my award-winning smile as the doors close on me. Will I be back tonight to do this all over again or will this be my finale?
The descent takes twenty seconds and I practice my smile; Fanto holds a mirror in front of me because no one knows how crucial this simple task is to my survival. My smile can melt the hearts of the people I meet or be the final thing they see before I send them to their deaths. The Keepers ripped all my teeth out at ten years old to make sure I had the most perfect smile so they would also get a return on their investment. The longer I stay alive, the more money they will make. They said ripping out my teeth was for “my own good” but I do not necessarily believe them. Fanto places the mirror back in his jacket and my pseudo-emotions are officially prepped for whatever is to come.
Walking out of the elevator, I am greeted by flashing cameras, waving hands, pens and paper thrust in my face, wails of joy, and the rattling of the metal barricades outside from those who could not get back in. In the southwest corner of the lobby rests my camera crew. Corners of buildings are one place where radio waves cannot permeate in today’s society so this is where they go so they can discuss the agenda for the day. If anybody found out about my agenda, that would give those who wish me harm an unfair advantage as they attempt to Execute me.
The lead a cameraman reaches for the button to broadcast my position to the world and my calm demeanor ignites at the very same moment. This single red light means money, Fame, power, luxury, isolation, resilience, and Execution. I will have no safety until I get back tonight and my only hope each day is that I get to see that blinking red light one more time. At this point, my security is trailing behind me so to give me space to interact with the Sivs – the regular, non-Spike citizens. They are whispering into their earpieces as they begin their surveillance of the crowded and noisy lobby. I re-watch the tapes of my morning entrance sometimes and it would not be unusual to see Rosen smirk as he walked behind me. Everyone loves Fame – except for the people that have it.
I quickly pass through the waves of people and sign exactly twenty autographs and take four pictures. I wrap my arms around the shoulders of Sivs from across Country to make it seem like my gesture is authentic. After I am done with this useless crap, my security team escorts me to the boarding dock where I load into the cars for whatever destination has been planned. Around this time every morning, I am greeted by one of my longest relationships and number one supporter; Molly has been in my life since my Entrance Day on April 19th and she is a combination of my publicist, gatekeeper, promoter, and make-shift handler. Each day she waits there and smiles with a mouth full of teeth that no one in this world could possibly replicate.
"Hello there beautiful, would you like to hear what I have planned for you today?" Molly says.
I smile and give her the most seductive grin I can mimic. It took me almost four years to master the seductive look but now it is officially programmed into my vast array of replicated emotion. [*Eyes: Lower. Eyelids: Lower. Mouth Corners: Draw Upward. Right Eyebrow: Raise. Chin: Lower. Lips: Slight Pucker. Execute.*] One would think that this would become tiresome, and it does, but Molly blushes every day and it reaffirms that she has faith in my ability to charm and Execute. In my life, it is rare to have someone so devoted to my physical well-being and so entrenched in my non-televised life. Normally, Sivs only see what you want them to see or what they are shown. We see from where we stand. Molly, on the other hand, is monitoring me from the time I go to sleep to the time I wake up. She knows everything that happens in my life. The security guards continue to push me forward while Molly trots next to the human shield that has since formed back around me. High-heels clicking, she yells the agenda for the day.
"Colman, we have you arriving at the tarmac in approximately 41 minutes. Obama Airport is under construction but once they are finished, we should have this route worked down to about 31 minutes which will leave you a whole ten minutes to decompress before we will have to get the shot of you walking onto your jet. How exciting would that be?" She says.
"Great Molly," I yell back over the heads of the security team "Can we keep going with this, please?" I mutter dryly.
“After the 41-minute ride, you are going to pull into Terminal P because that is where your jet landed this morning. Once you board, the cameras have to turn off. The new Regulations on televised flying is really screwing things up for me. I mean, for Spike’s sake, these Keepers know that people love to see the inside of your jet in real time. But because we must place a hold on the live recording, you are going to have to take and post four pictures between the time you taxi until the time you land…can you do this for me?"
"Anything for you Molly," I grumble.
"Perfect, okay, so once we land in London you are going to be greeted by Marist and Vassar, the Queen’s granddaughters, when we arrive at Buckingham Palace. You have met them before, do you remember this? They are still angry with you from when you set their grandmother’s hair on fire but I worked my magic and was assured they would be there to greet you so it does not hurt your Image. When you land, remember to make sure that your shirt is buttoned down at least three...." She says but that is my cue to tune out.
The minute clothing is mentioned, it signals the end of my personal responsibility because I have a team of people in charge of that already. My hair is gelled to the right side because my team of neuroscientists says that this is more of an accepted style in London. My eyebrows have been slimmed in the front and left bushy in the back for the same reason. There is a small injection of lip gel that keep my lips flat and smooth. I cannot look too overjoyed but also not too disengaged. I have a Henley on and two buttons are unbuttoned. Rule of thumb: one button down is "just chilling", two buttons down is "sexy-time", three buttons down is "clothes come off.” Every part of my being is curated to that last detail.
I am perfect in every way. My pectorals are outlined just right in these shirts which is why they are my favorite. My Regulation size is a 38.5" chest with a half an inch fluctuation in either direction. My biceps look amazing, but that is not something I can be allowed to acknowledge. When the wind blows, you can be able to see the outline of my eight pack which are my pride and joy. As we breeze through the back entrances of the building, I look to see the cars waiting near the boarding dock but feel my scalp prickle ever so slightly? My job is about to begin.
I know it before anybody else senses that something is wrong. The brief sinking feeling in my stomach is replaced with an injection of pure adrenalin, making the entire field of vision crystalize in front of me. Molly is still moving her mouth but no noise is coming out and I tap my ears to physically bring them back to attention. My security team is scanning the perimeter but the camera crew is getting too close to my guards and they are getting anxious. That is never a good sign.
Confirming my suspicion, one of the crew members yell something behind me and Rosen is the first to turn, immediately tensing and alerting the other three members of my team. From somewhere in the back, a golden egg strikes one of the crew members in the back of the head and immediately penetrates his skull, burrowing deeper and deeper into his brain. [Alert. Weapon Detected.] He crumples, the camera falls, and everyone but my security team, instantly scatters. The remaining videographers scurry to various positions in the loading bay to capture my next moves: adrenaline surges, my heart starts pounding in my ears, my fingers are tingling and I have serious cotton-mouth.
My EYE flashes red and I jump out of the way as another golden egg comes careening my way. I scan the open area of floor and begin my expert assessment. [Area Cleared. One Execution. Lookup (golden, eggs, brain, death, airborne, catapult). Execute.] My EYE computes this information and within .02 milliseconds, my results return as a positive match for a biological weapon nicknamed "Screaming Chicken." Two more eggs come streaming my way but my EYE goes dark leaving me with a clear view of the scene in front of me. Two men in grey suits come streaking across the lobby towards me. [Assesment. Options. Strategy (men, grey, two, two-hundred pounds, biological weapon).] With a threat now visible, as per regulation, my security team abandons me.
The first Encounter of the day is underway. I do not need to look at the results from my EYE to know the procedure of what I should do. I see a brief glimpse of the "Options" and "Recommendations" tabs before the EYE once again goes blank. I have faced much worse than a weapon called a Screaming Chicken. I swing my athletic 6’2", 170-pound frame up and over the bay doors and plaster myself against the ceiling, waiting for these two meatheads to try their luck against me. I briefly analyzed them when they burst forth from the crowd and they are no actual danger to me. I spring on them only when they are directly under me.
The men enter my space, then, I drop right on top of them like a jaguar stalking a gazelle. As I freefall from the ceiling, I enjoy the moment, not because I genuinely enjoy this process but because this is what gives me purpose and keeps me Famous. Life moves in slow motion. The infrared beams of hotel security cameras frantically scan the entire area, no doubt with Molly behind the production of this frenzy, searching to film this Encounter. If done correctly, my Profile will get boosted from these Executions. My sunglasses fall free and I quickly bite off the tip and plunge the sharp blade into the first man’s neck. He crumbles and awkwardly reaches behind him to grasp the makeshift blade. I already severed his cervical vertebrae; he will die almost immediately.
The second man turns around and snarls at me. He glances at his flailing partner and yanks something from his jacket. Without looking at what his weapon is, I snatch my hat off my head and blow the reservoir of white powder in his face. He starts screaming and before I know it, both men are on the floor laying open-eyed with blood dripping from the corners of their mouths. I gather myself and make sure I grab my Armani shades out of the man’s neck and baseball hat off the floor. It is not necessary to turn on my EYE, I know this brief Encounter was captured and is being live streamed. I relax as my beaming security team praises me while the videographers emerge from their poorly-lit hiding places. I place my hat on my head, my sunglasses on my face, then take my mirror out of my backpack. I adjust the collar of my jacket and wipe the spit and blood off my face. Molly comes prancing back out a moment later screaming.
"Colman! It is not even 9 AM and our team already has something to broadcast! Okay, someone please move these bodies and take care of that poor cameraman. We will make sure to alert his family right away. Wait! Get a good shot of their faces…and the blood. Zoom in right on the puncture mark in his neck…yes, very good. Get a close up on the boils on the second one’s face. Great! Let’s board the cars everybody." She claps.
Everything goes back to normal. My security team retake their positions around me, looking for unwarranted and unplanned Siv interaction. The camera crew rejoins me from a distant and the reporters – who constantly magically appear out of thin air – selected to be in the docket for the day start the round of questions that traditionally happens after every Encounter.
“Colman! How did you see that coming? How did you decide what maneuvers to do? What did you have for breakfast? Who are you wearing? Did the designers make the sunglass shank especially for you or did you make it yourself? Do you know how much money you have made this morning?" They yell over each other.
Molly has started discussing the agenda again, my security team is holding open the doors to my Escalade while the camera crew files into the remaining three cars. My EYE is blinking yellow with new messages from Producers and Keepers who now want to endorse me based on my stellar performance. As I board the truck, the oncoming ambulance noise brings a smile to my face as I relax into my overstuffed seat. London is not ready for me.
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