Ways To Wonder by Eliza Lay Ryan

Eliza Lay Ryan

Boston, Massachusetts

A social researcher through the arts Eliza (MFA&CYT) has taught these practices to thousands of people from every continent and has collaborated with leaders in neuroscience, business, and education.

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About the author

TEDx Talk Spark Curiosity, Connection, and Creativity

Eliza Lay Ryan's interdisciplinary research includes collaborating with Harvard neuroscientists and internationally acclaimed business leaders. She has led acting programs for The New York Film Academy at Harvard, and her theatrical work has been lauded in The Boston Globe and The New York Times. Her work is also mentioned in a forthcoming book published by Simon&Schuster, Empowerment. Transformation. Success: Your Guide to Public Speaking. And a NYT bestselling author edited Ways To Wonder in exchange for Eliza editing his plays.

Eliza creates art and she partners with leaders in science, business, and the to help people discover intuitive practices that effortlessly allow them spark creativity and empathy increasing vitality, connection, sustainability and innovation.

Eliza has an MFA from at Boston University and she is a certified yoga teacher RYT250.

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A social researcher through the arts, Eliza has created theater in D.C., Boston, and New York. As an actress, a choreographer, and a director she looks to investigate malleability and integrity and that dynamic's effect on identity, perception, meaning making, self-efficacy, and society building.

While acting and teaching acting in Boston, DC, and New York Eliza noticed how helpful learning acting's mindfulness and flexibility-of-perspective/embodied imagination techniques were not just to her students' acting but to their lives.

This made sense. After all, acting is not pretending. It is experiencing differently. Acting training teaching people how to be present to every moment as it is and how to stand in different shoes, to look out through different eyes, to experience and create from different perspectives. It also attunes people to social field: the shaping forces of relationships, culture, context all at work all of the time. She thought, "Why should only actors learn these tools? How can I bring them to other people?

Inspired by this question, Eliza wanted to understand how this relationship of presence and possibility functioned. She conducted research and worked with neurologists to develop mindfulness and creative thought research at Brigham and Women's Hospital/Harvard Medical School. She now collaborates with leaders in organizational behavior, as well as artists, and educators to offer workshops and programs in seeing differently.

	http://www.seedifferently.org
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Ways To Wonder

Spark Curiosity, Empathy, and Creativity and Cultivate Supermindfulness

Offering practical, playful practices and scientific frameworks to help you cultivate a kind of supermindfulness through imagination and awareness, so you can have easy access to creativity, empathy, and wholeness.

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	Personal Growth & Self-Improvement Personal Development, Creativity Communication, Mindfulness, Creativity
	30,000 words
	100% complete
	18 publishers interested
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Synopsis

Flexibility of perspective is vital to our ability to navigate our ever-changing world. but shifting perspective and connecting with diverse viewpoints can be challenging. In fact, it can feel impossible.

Ways to Wonder: How to Cultivate Supermindfulness combines insights from science with practices from the arts to help us understand why it is hard to see from new points of view and what we can do to make it easier.

Readers feel a strong desire to connect with people who are unlike them, for ways to shake up old patterns of thought and allow new ones to be born, and the world’s challenges desperately need this from each of us.

The book offers two kinds of practices that work together:

Eyes wide open mindfulness practices allow people to stand more fully in their own experience and access their own depth and genius. They expand our presence.

The imaginative practices that actors use in order to stand in other people's shoes help anyone reach towards empathy, expand their possibilities, and ignite imagination. They expand our possibilities.

Together presence and possibilities help cultivate a kind of supermindfulness, where people are fully connected to their own experience while also being able to connect with and harness other ways of thinking, feeling, and being.

No other books offer frameworks and practices that teach these skills of presence and perspective shifting together, and even fewer offer practices that allow readers to practice these skills with their eyes wide open, in relationship, in real time, inside of the flow of life.

Supermindfulness is a fun, nourishing, urgently needed, practical book that offers intuitive tools and frameworks to help you encounter the world around you with wonder so wonder is what you can experience as you go through life.

Outline

PART 1: KNOW

Why we Need to be Able to See Differently

· Welcoming Wonder

· Becoming Your Own Outsider

· Life is VUCA

Why We Don’t Want to See Differently and What to do About That

· Expectations

· Conflict, Contrast, and Creativity

· Fake It ‘Till You Make It?

· Presence and Possibilities

· We Are All Creators

· Supermindfulness in Action

PART II: PLAY

Sparking Wonder: How to play with Presence and Possibilities

· The Ingredients of Wonder

· Momentary Imaginative Immersions

o Doing

o Thinking

o Feeling

· More Presence or More Possibilities?

· 52 Ways to Wonder: Presence and Possibilities Practices for Cultivating Supermindfulness Anytime, Anywhere

· Applied Wonder: Using Wonder to Innovate

Audience

This book is for people who are interested in mindfulness but are looking for a way to practice it without meditation

.....and for mindfulness practitioners looking for playful, new tools.

And this book is vital for now:

A recent survey done by Google named creativity, empathy, and self-awareness the most important skills for workers. IBM seconded this finding in an international cross-industry survey. Their findings emphasized creativity.
A growing body of research identifies wonder, awe, and curiosity as the keys to happiness.
The CEO of Microsoft has just written a book about how empathy is key to innovation at Microsoft.
Headspace is a mindfulness app with 31 million users and offered by 1 million companies to their employees. Headspace users would like this book.
Mindful Magazine had a circulation of 95,000 in 2018, up by 29,000 since 2015. Mindful Magazine readers would like this book.
The personal development industry was a 9.9 billion dollar sector in 2016 with a 5.6% yearly growth rate.

We are all asked -at work, at home, as citizens- to be agile and creative. There is an urgent need for intuitive tools that can provide the ability to empathize, to innovate, to experience wholeness, and connect and collaborate more easefully with different kinds of people and ideas.

Many of us also have a desire for these practices to be grounded in science and to be fun, easy, and pleasurable.

Many tools in the mindfulness sphere are for centering and calming the inside of the self, but Ways To Wonder is unique among its peers in that it offers tools that are for connecting and creating outside of ourselves as well, causing real impact in our lives, relationships, and actions.

I have done this work with business leaders, doctors, children, undergraduates, members of the military, yoga students, MBA students, challenged youth, wellness practitioners, and educators. I believe that the more people in different sectors who speak the same language of curiosity the better off we all are.

There are more than enough exercises for a whole family of Ways To Wonder vehicles: calendars, journals, recordings...

This book lives next to the books Flow, Flourish, and Drive. It is short and fun, so it is also a great point of sale book. If you love Headspace or Mindful Magazine, you'll love this book too.

Promotion

Back of Room/Bulk Sales

Eliza is a regular speaker and workshop leader. She has been creating and teaching in the arts for the past fifteen years and more recently in the wellness and business spaces.

I'm scheduled to speak at TEDx Speaker Babson College on April 6th 2019: Dimensions of Change Supermindfulness"

Upcoming Workshops Spring 2019

Freeing the Heart of the Artist, Kriplau
Organizational Behavior engagements with Jack McCarthy

2017/2018 speaking Engagements Organizational Behavior with collaborator Jack McCarthy:

Humphrey Fellowship Program: Supermindfulness
Organizational Behavior Teaching Conference, Providence RI
Arts & Ideas Conference: Boston University
Questrom School of Business MBA Workshop

2017/2018 speaking Engagements with Collaborator Sally Taylor:

ConSenses + Supermindfulness: Boston University, College of Fine Arts
ConSenses + Supermindfulness: Wellesley College

Social Media

Eliza has +2,130 connections through Facebook and LinkedIn and writes articles regularly on LinkedIn.

Media

Author proposes a national speaking book tour to promote the book and offer communities enriching ways to come together to connect at bookstores, libraries, art museums and other cultural spaces.
Author will self-promote by contacting newspapers, magazines and podcasts.

To promote the book the author will also

Continue to write valuable posts on LinkedIn creating conversations around these topics with followers and promoting the book.
She will also post weekly articles on LinkedIn from her blog.
Promote the book on Facebook and Twitter.
Self-promote by contacting magazines and podcasts.
Send promotional copies to leaders in business and wellness to engage members of their organizations.
Seek endorsements from published authors and leaders in the space.
Email contact list of 500 and ask each person to reach out to three people.
Leverage alumni association networks at BU, Babson, Skidmore, and Clark Colleges.
Use the book for speaking engagements and workshops and offer back of room sales.
Do a Goodreads giveaway.
Post on PRweb.
Participate in any promotional activity online through forums, interviews, and book clubs.

Competition

Mindsight, Daniel Siegel…A brilliant book which explores the benefits and limits of perspective-taking, but doesn’t include experiential practices or creativity.

Random House, Bantam, 2010

Steal Like An Artist, Austin Kleon…An international best seller which offers actions to take to cultivate a creative orientation in the world, but not through embodied imagination and mindfulness.

Workman Publishing, Algonquin, 2012

Blindspot: The Hidden Biases of Good People, Mhazerine Benaji…An incredibly important and inspiring book which looks at all manner of implicit bias and cognition and why it’s important to make these explicit, but doesn’t include experiential practices or creativity.

Random House, Bantam, 2013

Two Minute Mornings, Neil Pasricha…A practical and intuitive book which offers mindset orientations for your day, but very different from the ones in my book and more for the cultivating one’s best self rather for cultivating curiosity, empathy, and creativity.

Chronicle Books, 2017

Creative Alchemy: Meditations, Rituals, and Experiments to Free Your Inner Magic, Marlo Johnson… I am in love with this book and it is similar in purpose but more for self-nourishment rather than with a social science angle, application for groups, or designed to weave into the flow of daily life.

Chronicle Books, 2018

If I Understood You, Would I Have This Look on My Face?: My Adventures in the Art and Science of Relating and Communicating, Alan Alda…A fun, thoughtful, well-researched book which looks at empathy at the intersection of science and acting, but with an emphasis on communicating better rather than sparking curiosity, creativity, and wonder.

Penguin, 2018

18 publishers interested

	Apocryphile Press 250 copies • Partial manuscript • Looking for religion at the margins, soulful spirituality, mystical poetry, and badass Christian fiction. Apocryphile Press is a small, new-paradigm publishing company based in the San Francisco East Bay. We specialize in edgy spirituality, and pretty much anything that snags our fancy. We are especially interested at this time in literary or genre fiction with a spiritual bent that portrays religious people in realistic ways. (Translation: if your religious characters aren't deeply flawed and don't cuss, don't send it to us.) Traditional publisher Literary Fiction, Mystery, Thriller, Horror & Suspense, Mind & Body, Romantic Fiction, Science Fiction & Fantasy, YA Fiction, Biography & Memoir, Health, Fitness & Dieting, History, Personal Growth & Self-Improvement, Religion & Spirituality, Society & Culture, Travel Worldwide
	Mango Publishing 500 copies • Partial manuscript • Looking for business, self-help, mindfulness, well-being, fitness, clean living, decluttering/organization, psychology and anxiety (especially kids and teens), eco-friendly/zero waste, retail, trees and birdwatching, homeschooling, productivity, true crime, nature-oriented, hidden histories, cultural trends, pop-science, and entrepreneurship. Mango is an innovative independent publisher based in beautiful Miami. Mango publishes books from the freshest, most distinctive voices of our time. Mango books seek to stretch the boundaries of our online culture, social media, and ideas. Books have changed our lives and we believe that Mango books should be instruments of change, inspiration, and entertainment. We publish books, eBooks, journals, and workbooks covering new ideas and pursuits across a global range of interests and passions. Mango authors are experts in their fields, are creative and marketing geniuses and know-how to share and socialize their ideas. Mango authors are our partners in publishing. Together, we produce great books to help build authors’ brands and long-term success. Traditional publisher Children Fiction, Mind & Body, Mind & Body, Biography & Memoir, Biography & Memoir, Business & Money, Business & Money, Career & Success, Cookbooks, Food & Wine, Cookbooks, Food & Wine, Communication Skills, Corporate Culture, Entrepreneurship & Small Business, Health, Fitness & Dieting, Health, Fitness & Dieting, History, Management & Leadership, Mindfulness & Happiness, Money & Investment, Motivation & Inspiration, Nature & Environment, Parenting, Personal Growth & Self-Improvement, Personal Growth & Self-Improvement, Productivity & Time Management, Religion & Spirituality, Science, Sex & Relationships, Society & Culture, Society & Culture, Sports & Outdoors, Technology & the Future Worldwide
	Odyssey Books 500 copies • Partial manuscript • Looking for fiction, memoir, and narrative non-fiction, as well as novelty and picture books from Aus/NZ authors only. Odyssey Books is committed to publishing engaging and beautifully written books. Books that stretch the imagination, challenge pre-existing attitudes and beliefs, or take readers to far-flung climes. Books are always a journey. And as our name suggests, we invest in epic journeys, adventurous voyages and intellectual or spiritual quests. Readers are sure to find a book within our range of titles to challenge, inspire, and entertain. Odyssey titles are distributed in Australia and New Zealand by Novella Distribution, and worldwide via Ingram. Traditional publisher Literary Fiction, Mind & Body, Mystery, Thriller, Horror & Suspense, Science Fiction & Fantasy, YA Fiction, Biography & Memoir, Cookbooks, Food & Wine, History, Journalism, Society & Culture, Technology & the Future, Travel Worldwide
	Atlantic Publishing Group, Inc. 250 copies • Completed manuscript. Atlantic Publishing has been providing millions of readers information to jumpstart their careers, start businesses, manage employees, invest, plan for retirement, learn technologies, build relationships, and live rewarding, fulfilling lives. Our award-winning authors and publication staff strive to make our products the best and most up-to-date available. We go further than most publishers to get our customers the best products. Hybrid publisher Children Fiction, Mind & Body, YA Fiction, Biography & Memoir, Business & Money, Career & Success, Cookbooks, Food & Wine, Health, Fitness & Dieting, History, Journalism, Personal Growth & Self-Improvement, Politics & Social Sciences, Society & Culture Worldwide
	BrightFlame Books 250 copies • Partial manuscript • Looking for business, entrepreneurship, personal development, success psychology and mindset, health, and lifestyle. BrightFlame Books was set up with one key purpose: to help experts like you get your message out into the world, increase your impact, and ultimately, grow your business. Wherever you are in your publishing journey, we can support you. As a full-service publisher, we transform your draft manuscript into a beautifully finished book. Our editors edit and polish your words, then our creative team turns it into a professionally designed finished product, inside and out, that presents you as the thought leader and industry leader you are. Once your book is published, as a marketing consultancy we specialize in turning you into a bestselling author by orchestrating launch campaigns to drive sales and awareness of your book internationally and creating book-based lead generation and client acquisition campaigns that turn your book into a powerful business development tool. Hybrid publisher Mind & Body, Business & Money, Career & Success, Health, Fitness & Dieting, Personal Growth & Self-Improvement, Science, Society & Culture, Technology & the Future Worldwide
	Cranthorpe Millner 250 copies • Partial manuscript. Cranthorpe Millner operates a hybrid publishing model. This means, should an author pass our editors’ strict filtering system, we can offer different kinds of agreements depending on the author and the manuscript. With some authors, we work under a ‘traditional’ model, whereby we cover the full cost of publication and the author is offered industry-standard royalties (8-10%). To some authors, we offer what we call a partnership or contributory agreement, whereby the author is asked for a financial contribution so that we may share the risk and enter into a partnership together to publish the author’s book. In this case, the author receives around 60-75% royalties. Hybrid publisher Children Fiction, Literary Fiction, Literary Fiction, Mystery, Thriller, Horror & Suspense, Mystery, Thriller, Horror & Suspense, Mind & Body, Mind & Body, Romantic Fiction, Romantic Fiction, Science Fiction & Fantasy, Science Fiction & Fantasy, YA Fiction, YA Fiction, Biography & Memoir, Biography & Memoir, Health, Fitness & Dieting, Health, Fitness & Dieting, History, History, Personal Growth & Self-Improvement, Personal Growth & Self-Improvement, Science, Science, Sports & Outdoors, Sports & Outdoors, Travel, Travel United Kingdom, United States, Canada
	Emerald Lake Books 500 copies • Completed manuscript. Emerald Lake Books is a hybrid publishing company that provides a unique blend of business coaching with publishing to help its authors succeed, whether it’s their first book or their fiftieth! Emerald Lake Books specializes in working with positive people who have an engaging, exciting, or entertaining message to share with the world. Using a unique, goal-oriented approach to publishing, we combine our business and publishing knowledge to help our authors set and attain goals for their readers, their brands, and their books. And many of those books have gone on to win international awards and recognition. Hybrid publisher Mystery, Thriller, Horror & Suspense, Mind & Body, Romantic Fiction, Science Fiction & Fantasy, YA Fiction, Biography & Memoir, Business & Money, Career & Success, Health, Fitness & Dieting, History, Journalism, Personal Growth & Self-Improvement, Science, Society & Culture, Technology & the Future, Travel Worldwide
	Koehler Books 250 copies • Completed manuscript. Koehler Books is an Indie publisher based in Virginia Beach, Virginia. Our team of dedicated professionals promises you a holistic publishing experience where you'll receive our full attention, collaboration, and coaching every step of the way. We offer two publishing models: a traditional non-fee model for the highest quality work, as well as a co-publishing model that includes creative development fees for emerging authors. Our titles are broad-based and include nearly every major non-fiction and fiction genre. Hybrid publisher Commercial Fiction, Contemporary Fiction, Historical Fiction, LGBT Fiction, Literary Fiction, Mystery, Thriller, Horror & Suspense, Mind & Body, Romantic Fiction, Science Fiction & Fantasy, Women's Fiction, YA Fiction, Biography & Memoir, Business & Money, Career & Success, Communication Skills, Corporate Culture, Management & Leadership, Marketing & Sales, Personal Growth & Self-Improvement, Sex & Relationships, Sports & Outdoors, Science Fiction & Humour Worldwide
	Morgan James 500 copies • Partial manuscript • Looking for entrepreneurship, business, self-help, and personal growth. Morgan James Publishing has revolutionized book publishing—from the author’s standpoint, earning 29 NY Times and over 100 USA Today and Wall Street Journal best sellers. We teach authors strategies to leverage their books and grow their businesses—adding value while staying out of the way. Evidenced by more Major Media best sellers than most publishers our size. Regularly ranked by Publishers Weekly as the most recognized and one of the fastest-growing publishers in the nation, Morgan James is reported to be “the future of publishing.” Hybrid publisher All categories Worldwide
	Prodigy Gold Books The History Prodigy Publishing Group was founded in 2009 and has been steadily publishing distinguishable trade paperback fiction since. Its flagship imprint Prodigy Gold Books is spearheading its journey with a fall 2017 line up that includes four novels by four authors sure to delight readers. Prodigy Gold Books is dedicated to publishing a variety of must-read books on a wide array of topics and genres. The Mission Our mission is to showcase established voices and to introduce emerging new ones—both fiction and nonfiction genres. Hybrid publisher Children Fiction, Literary Fiction, Mind & Body, Mystery, Thriller, Horror & Suspense, Romantic Fiction, Science Fiction & Fantasy, YA Fiction, Biography & Memoir, Business & Money, Career & Success, Cookbooks, Food & Wine, Health, Fitness & Dieting, History, Journalism, Personal Growth & Self-Improvement, Politics & Social Sciences, Religion & Spirituality, Science, Society & Culture, Sports & Outdoors, Technology & the Future, Travel Worldwide
	RJ Parker Publishing Why Publish with RJPP? The book business is a difficult pursuit. Especially for an Independent writer. The decision to go it alone and self-publish, or go with a small press is strictly an individual business decision. Hiring professional freelance resources like editors, cover designers, and formatters can be daunting enough. Let alone that dreaded marketing and promotion. All of that takes precious time away from what you could be doing. Writing! With an experienced Literary Agent, award-winning Author, publicist, and publisher like RJ Parker, you don't have to do it alone. RJPP offers years of success and reputation to represent you and your work. Ask yourself, “Do I want to succeed? Is my book worthy of reaping all it is worth and then some?” If you take pride in your work and want to excel to the top, RJ Parker will implement his years of knowledge and skills learned as an industry leader in marketing to get your work into the hands of the people who matter. What about the nitty-gritty financial workings? We don't pay advances as a traditional firm does. (which in this business, an advance is used against royalties before you get paid) BUT, we DO pay a much higher royalty rate AND you get paid every month! The standard industry royalty rate is 12-16%. We pay 50% to established writers, and 40% to new authors. (New authors will pay a setup fee). For the majority of authors, we pay the cost of editing, cover artist, ISBN number, formatting, etc. Interested? If you are looking for mediocrity or status quo, RJ Parker may not be a good fit for you. However, Parker is a go-getter in the industry who will not cease until he makes your dreams become your reality! Please send your proposal to agent@rjparkerpublishing.com and include: Book Title Book Description Synopsis (what your book is about and why you think it’s a good fit with RJPP) A brief bio, including your city of residence, and publication history First two chapters Hybrid publisher Children Fiction, Mind & Body, Biography & Memoir, Business & Money, Career & Success, Cookbooks, Food & Wine, Health, Fitness & Dieting, History, Journalism, Personal Growth & Self-Improvement, Politics & Social Sciences, Religion & Spirituality, Society & Culture, Sports & Outdoors, Technology & the Future, Travel United Kingdom, United States, Canada
	1106 Design, LLC Dear Author, You worked hard to write your manuscript; finally, it's ready to release. You know that expert assistance is needed, but perhaps you didn’t know that it’s no longer necessary to work with a publisher—especially publishers who charge fees to produce your book upfront and deduct more costs on the back end whenever a book is sold. 1106 Design is an author services company. We provide all the editorial and design services you’d expect from a publisher to turn your manuscript into a market-ready book—editing, cover design, interior layout, proofreading, eBook formatting, and more—at the traditional publisher level. Unlike a publisher, we’ll help you obtain print-on-demand printing and worldwide distribution in your name so that you earn, in most cases, several dollars more for every book sold instead of a measly “royalty.” We’ll customize a package of services to suit your exact needs at affordable prices ranging from $4,000 to $10,000, depending on your manuscript's word count and complexity. And we’ll manage all the intricacies of book production, so you don’t have to. After this one-time investment, every penny of net revenue from book sales goes directly to you, never to us. If this sounds like a better way to publish your book, I invite you to browse our services, design samples, no-surprises pricing, outstanding customer reviews, and educational articles at https://1106design.com. 1106 Design has been in business since 2001 and is rated A+ by the Better Business Bureau. We are a “Highly Recommended Expert” at IngramSpark.com and rated "Excellent" at Alli, The Alliance for Independent Authors, at SelfPublishingAdvice.org. How can we serve you today? Sincerely, Michele DeFilippo, owner Service publisher Children Fiction, Christian Fiction, Commercial Fiction, Contemporary Fiction, Historical Fiction, Literary Essay, Literary Fiction, Mind & Body, Mystery, Thriller, Horror & Suspense, Mythology & Folk Tales, Poetry, Science Fiction & Fantasy, Women's Fiction, YA Fiction, Biography & Memoir, Business & Money, Career & Success, Children Non-Fiction, Christian Non-Fiction, Cookbooks, Food & Wine, Communication Skills, Corporate Culture, Current Affairs, Economics, Education, Entrepreneurship & Small Business, Health, Fitness & Dieting, History, Humor & Entertainment, Journalism, Management & Leadership, Marketing & Sales, Mindfulness & Happiness, Money & Investment, Motivation & Inspiration, Nature & Environment, Parenting, Personal Growth & Self-Improvement, Philosophy, Politics & Social Sciences, Popular Science, Productivity & Time Management, Psychology, Reference, Religion & Spirituality, Science, Sex & Relationships, Society & Culture, Sports & Outdoors, Technology & the Future, Travel, YA Non-Fiction, Science Fiction & Humour Worldwide
	Atmosphere Press 250 copies • Partial manuscript. Atmosphere Press is an independent publisher dedicated to author rights. We publish in all genres and have an exceptional editorial, design, and promotional staff. We stand for Honesty, Transparency, Professionalism, and Kindness. We want our authors and their readers to be blown away when they first hold that book in their hands. It needs to look good inside and out, and feel good to the touch. And, of course, the words need to be top-notch, and our editors are devoted to making that the case. Service publisher Children Fiction, Literary Fiction, Mind & Body, Mystery, Thriller, Horror & Suspense, Romantic Fiction, Science Fiction & Fantasy, YA Fiction, Biography & Memoir, Business & Money, Career & Success, Cookbooks, Food & Wine, Health, Fitness & Dieting, History, Journalism, Personal Growth & Self-Improvement, Politics & Social Sciences, Religion & Spirituality, Science, Society & Culture, Sports & Outdoors, Technology & the Future, Travel Worldwide
	Authors Unite 250 copies • Partial manuscript. Authors Unite helps you become a profitable author and make an impact. We take care of printing and distribution through major online retailers, developmental editing, and proofreading with unlimited revisions. We take care of the entire process for you from book cover design all the way to set up your backend so all your book royalties go straight to your bank account. We can also help with ghostwriting if you prefer not to have to figure out all the steps on how to write a book yourself. With our book marketing services, you don’t need to worry about figuring out all the steps on how to market a book or how to become a bestselling author. We’ve helped hundreds of authors become bestselling authors on Amazon, USA Today, and The Wall Street Journal. We take care of the entire book launch process for you to help you sell thousands of copies of your book and become a bestselling author. View case studies here: https://authorsunite.com Service publisher Children Fiction, Christian Fiction, Comics & Graphic Novels, Commercial Fiction, Contemporary Fiction, Historical Fiction, LGBT Fiction, Literary Fiction, Mystery, Thriller, Horror & Suspense, Mind & Body, Mythology & Folk Tales, Romantic Fiction, Science Fiction & Fantasy, Women's Fiction, YA Fiction, Biography & Memoir, Business & Money, Career & Success, Children Non-Fiction, Christian Non-Fiction, Communication Skills, Corporate Culture, Crafts & Hobbies, Creativity, Current Affairs, Economics, Education, Entrepreneurship & Small Business, Health, Fitness & Dieting, History, Humor & Entertainment, Journalism, LGBT Non-Fiction, Management & Leadership, Marketing & Sales, Mindfulness & Happiness, Money & Investment, Motivation & Inspiration, Nature & Environment, Parenting, Personal Growth & Self-Improvement, Philosophy, Politics & Social Sciences, Popular Science, Productivity & Time Management, Psychology, Reference, Religion & Spirituality, Science, Sex & Relationships, Society & Culture, Sports & Outdoors, Technology & the Future, Travel, YA Non-Fiction, Science Fiction & Humour Worldwide
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Humans are social animals. In the most thorough well-being study ever conducted Harvard researchers followed people over seventy years and discovered that the most important ingredient to a sense of wellbeing was robust social connections[i]. In places where strong social connections prevail people live longer and are less likely to be addicted.[ii] In fact, loneliness is worse for our health than smoking 15 cigarettes a day[iii] When a person feels left out by others the same part of the brain gets activated as when they are physically hurt.[iv]

We want to be part of a group. We psychologically want and biologically need to be connected to other people and to ourselves. So, very likely, the behavior we find alienating in someone else is actually their (however ineffective) attempt to create connection with, maybe not us, but someone or some part of themselves that they feel is vital to their survival somehow.

This makes sense. We don’t have claws and fangs to keep us safe. All we really have is the strength of our relationships with our social institutions and other people. (And even animals who do have fangs and claws tend to live in packs for safety.)

In acting we look at relationship through several lenses which can also be helpful to look through in life. We can mine how the interpersonal, systemic, and intrapersonal dynamics are driving behavior to spark curiosity, creativity, and new possibilities.

Interpersonally, one way to mine what’s driving actions is to use Status as a tool or framework. In interpersonal relationships people have higher and lower statuses. This can stay fixed or it can shift from context to context. I might have a higher status than someone else while we are on the tennis court while they might have a higher status than me when we are at a baseball game.

Or our status might be fixed. A boss might always have a higher status than an employee. Or visa versa.

When statuses are fixed we find that people are more likely to behave in ways they otherwise wouldn’t, and sometimes against their own best interest, in order to secure their connection with someone of a higher status so they stay safe. Or, those of a higher status might undermine the sense of efficacy of those “below” them through subtle or overt means in order to stay in power, and so stay safe. Or both people might value the stability their clear roles in each others’ lives. Or something else.

Our desire to be in and maintain relationship drives our behavior. Becoming aware of and beginning to notice how status drives behavior can evoke new possibilities of seeing and being.[v]

To look systemically at what drives actions we can use Given Circumstances as a tool or framework. We can look at what the facts of a person’s life are and how they relate to those facts.

We have relationships with money, politics, education, the environment, family, religion, language. Each of us has a relationship with every social structure and institution and that relationship effects our behavior.

For example, if we look back at the fact of Robert Who Goes to Harvard we can remember how many different possible ways we could view that fact. The given circumstance is that he goes to Harvard. What that means depends on us.

That is true if we look at ourselves through this lens too. We have given circumstances: where we live, how much money is in our bank account, what education we have and from where, what our family looks like, etc. These are the facts of the cultural institutions of our lives with which we have relationships. But how we relate to those facts depends on what we think will keep us safe and connected.

Money, for example, is an institution we have a relationship with. We might think “having money is corrupting.” And this would cause us to relate to money in a certain way. That way has its benefits. It also has its costs. Or we might think “having money is liberating.” Or, “having money is power.” Or, “having money is energy.” Or, “having money doesn’t mean anything. It’s utilitarian.” Or, “having money means I’m smart.” Or “having money means I’m spiritual.” Or, “having money means I’m shallow and narcissistic.” Or, “having money means I worked hard.”

All of these have their benefits and downsides. You can try on each of these relationships to money and notice how they change how you would respond to the given circumstance of how much money is currently in your holdings.

You can substitute any social system for “money.”

Lastly, looking intra-personally, a way to mine what’s driving actions is our relationship to ourselves. To access this we can see through the lens of Character: who someone thinks they are or thinks they should be.

We picture ourselves in a certain way and have particular ways we are trying to be in order to satisfy that image. Deviating from that way can feel scary. So, people are often acting out of a desire to keep their relationship with how they see their own selves and are pursing the desires they have deemed worthy for themselves stable.

Someone might think “I am a hard worker.” Or, “I am super laid back.” Or, “I am compassionate.” Or, “I am a straight talker.” Or, “I am a winner.” Or, “I am a loser.”

If you try on these mindsets you will see how they have beneficial aspects and damaging aspects. They are intelligent ways of being that keep the person safe and unintelligent ways of being that undermine the person’s well-being.

We can play around with different “beneficial” character traits (or Self-Concepts as they are also called) to open up our own possibilities and see more easily where other people may be coming from.

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Sample Practices

Walk

At some point today find someone and adopt their walk. Very subtly just take on that person’s way of walking and notice how by moving like them it changes how you feel, think, and see the world. When you want to come back to yourself just invite yourself to let that other person’s walk go and bring your awareness to the soles of your feet and notice your own walk.

How do their feet strike the ground? How do their knees swing? How do their hips and shoulders move? What are their arms and hands doing? How is their head positioned. Do what they are doing.

What does it feel like to move through the world like they do? What kinds of thoughts and feelings do you have when you are moving this way?

What are your thoughts about them (likes/dislikes/jealousies/judgments)? You will have like/dislike/better than/worse than/safe/unsafe thoughts about them. That’s great. Notice that. Then see how it is to go back to focusing on just walking like them again.

How does what they are doing work for them? How might it be useful to you?

Notice what you notice

Qualities

Today let’s play around with the qualities of light and heavy. In this moment you can invite yourself to adopt a quality of lightness. Like you are filled with feathers or air. Notice what this quality of lightness feels like. How does the world around you seem from this quality of being light? Let that go by noticing your feet and then noticing what quality you have most prominently right now. Then you can adopt the quality of heaviness. Like you are filled with stones. Notice what that feels like. How does the world around you seem from this quality of being light? Then let that go, by noticing your natural quality currently. Today just play around with seeing when you notice or feel heaviness or lightness. You can also adopt heaviness or lightness at different moments to see what that does.

When adopting these qualities you can ask yourself what kinds of feelings you have.

What kinds of thoughts do you have?

How does the world around you look? How do you feel about it?

How might you respond differently to a text from either of these qualities?

The author hasn't added any updates, yet.

Bryn Monahan
on Jan. 15, 2019, 10:54 p.m.

reply

Congratulations, my love. So proud of you, and excited to read your book!!
- Eliza Lay Ryan
  on Jan. 16, 2019, 3:30 a.m.
  
  reply
  
  Thank you my love!

barry goldwasser
on Jan. 16, 2019, 2:46 a.m.

reply

eliza good luck, barry
- Eliza Lay Ryan
  on Jan. 16, 2019, 3:29 a.m.
  
  reply
  
  Thank you!

Judith Epstein-Fisher
on Jan. 16, 2019, 2:53 a.m.

reply

So proud of you, Eliza! Can't wait to see this.
xoxjb
- Eliza Lay Ryan
  on Jan. 16, 2019, 3:29 a.m.
  
  reply
  
  Thank you!! I would like to come visit soon! I will text you. xoxo

Anastasya Tveteraas
on Jan. 16, 2019, 2:16 p.m.

reply

Congratulations dear Eliza!!! Can hardly wait to read it.

Jennifer Taschereau l
on Jan. 16, 2019, 4:35 p.m.

reply

This sounds incredible! I can’t wait to see it published and read it!

Jaime Larose
on Jan. 16, 2019, 7:11 p.m.

reply

I love you ❤️ you are amazing 🙏🏼🦋

Hugh MOFFATT
on Jan. 16, 2019, 11:04 p.m.

reply

Great marketing platform. Good luck Eliza! Looking forward to the book. -- Hugh and Mary

Ann Seelye
on Jan. 16, 2019, 11:50 p.m.

reply

This is so exciting, Eliza!! Congratulations!!

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Eliza Lay Ryan

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Ways To Wonder

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