TOLERANCE & ACCEPTANCE

"I HAVE A DREAM THAT MY LITTLE CHILDREN WILL ONE DAY LIVE IN A NATION WHERE THEY WILL NOT BE JUDGED BY THE COLOR OF THEIR SKIN, BUT BY THE CONTENT OF THEIR CHARACTER.”                - MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. 

Think about this. None of us are born intolerant. None of us are born judgmental. We learn these behaviors. Many atrocities have been committed due to discrimination, intolerance and prejudice. Nazi Germany is an extreme example. And, unfortunately, the United States is also an example. We have a long history in this area as well. Slavery, World War II internment camps, the genocide of native Americans are all examples. 

Today we have laws to protect people against discrimination and prejudice. Current U. S. law, based on Title VII, states that it is illegal to discriminate based on race, color, religion, sex, or national origin. It’s unfortunate that we need to be told not to discriminate, but apparently that’s our reality. And, even though these laws exist, women, minorities, immigrants, LGBT individuals and many others are still treated unjustly. 

There are many sources that influence how we think about others. Family of origin, nationalism, culture, religion and ignorance are some examples. The fact is that most of us, to some degree, are intolerant of something. It is important for you to understand your own list of intolerances. Researchers at Harvard University and other top universities state that even those people who believe they are not prejudiced, likely have hidden biases. Consider what your hidden biases may be and where you learned them... and if they are reasonable. 

Prejudice, intolerance and discrimination lead us to judge people before we know them. For example, if you see a dark-skinned individual wearing a turban, you may have an instant reaction. You create an opinion of the person before you know anything about them. When you think about it, you realize that it doesn’t make any sense at all. 
My college roommate Jim was an African-American who played guitar in my band. He was a great guy. One day a bunch of friends went to the park to play basketball. Jim was awful at hoops, and I remember thinking how odd it was since he was African-American. I realized later that I was judging him based on social stereotypes. 

One day in class I asked the students to tell me what they were intolerant of, and why. The students told me about their intolerance of smokers, of slow drivers, of long lines, and much more. One of the students turned the question around and ask ed me what I was intolerant of. I told her I was intolerant of intolerance. Think about it. 

My parents were very accepting people and taught me to do the same. In fact, my mother dated an African-American in the 1940s, when it wasn’t culturally acceptable. Learning to be accepting and tolerant can be challenging in our society. Hate crimes occur regularly. Just a few days ago a man entered a Jewish Synagogue with an semi-automatic rifle and murdered people. Author Sarah Dressen said, “Accepting all the good and bad about someone. It’s a great thing to aspire to. The hard part is actually doing it.” 
I encourage you to watch “momondo – The DNA Journey.” The video shows interviews with several people who have strong feelings about themselves and their origins. Many of them also have strong negative feelings toward groups of others. They are given DNA tests and asked to return in two weeks to get the results. The results were compelling. Often the individuals found out that their heritage included many different ethnicities and cultures including the ones they felt negatively about and even hated. The response of the people after they get their results is amazing. 

When I was in college, I took a class on cultures. At one point the professor gave each of us a chart. Across the top were different nationalities/cultures, and across the left side was a list of potential relationships. There were several relationships options that ranged from “couldn’t be friends” to “close friends” and lastly “spouse.” The professor asked us to put checkmarks in the boxes that corresponded to the potential relationship that we would be comfortable with, in every nationality/culture. I marked spouse for every nationality/culture. The professor yelled at me in front of the rest of class saying that I was being completely unrealistic. Is it unrealistic to accept everyone? 

Hopefully you will aspire to be an accepting, non-judgmental individual. It is very hard to do. Your goal should be to try and understand, accept and embrace the differences in each of us. Get in touch with your own judgements, stereotypes and beliefs regarding others. Strive to keep an open mind. Travel to other countries. You will experience first-hand other cultures and other people, and it will help you understand that diversity is everywhere and that it is nothing to be afraid of.