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Growth is Uncomfortable

One of the truths I have learned and understood is that discomfort is important to grow. Growth is uncomfortable. Embrace discomfort. Greater opportunities come your way when you do the uncomfortable, that which others are not willing to do. Do what most people are not willing to do, and opportunities will come your way. You will lose the greatest opportunities if you decide to choose only that which is safe and not what is uncomfortable and unknown. There are people that stop living at a very early age, because they choose comfort and not growth. 

“Some people die at age 30 but are buried until they are 80 years old”. – Robin Sharma

All that I have achieved, the albums I’ve recorded, the languages I have learned, the nation’s I have visited, the books I have written, the professional studies and certifications I have attained, has been thanks to be thinking and acting differently, having taken advantage of the opportunities I’ve had, embracing change and staying comfortable in uncomfortable situations. You can achieve this also. Embrace the following ideas and apply them to your life:

·      Think differently. Think and take a different perspective.

·      Have a different attitude. Change your attitude.

·      Act differently. Do things in a different way.

·      Take advantage of your opportunities. Embrace opportunities.

·      Embrace change. Be flexible and open to change.

·      Remain comfortable in uncomfortable situations. Embrace and enjoy discomfort.

If you apply this to your life, I guarantee you that incredible things will happen. In this time of ambiguity, uncertainty, volatility and complexity, you can learn to lead and navigate through them with a mindset and attitude of growth.

“You can stay in the game, if you keep on growing. Abandon conformism and comfort and grow”.

There is a fable that exemplifies in a very clear way how many persons remain comfortable and satisfied in the place and situations they are in. I will share it with you next.

“A man visits his friend at his house, and when he comes in through the dining room, he sees his friend’s dog. The dog is big, strong, but he is whining and crying. The visitor asks his friend, “hey, what’s wrong with your dog, he looks sick?”. Don’t worry, his friend says, this dog is very lazy. The two friends sit down and begin to tell each other old stories, meanwhile the animal keeps whining, seeing this, the visitor, asks his friend again, and tells him, “I’m worried about your dog, why don’t you take him to the veterinary?”, the man answers again, “don’t worry, it’s only that this dog is lazy”. The visitor gets uneasy for receiving the same answer, and asks “hey, why do you say all the time, that this dog is lazy? What I see, is that this dog is sick and he is suffering”, then the friend tells him: “look, what’s really happening is that the dog has been sitting down on top of a nail the whole morning, I know that it hurts him. And that is why he is whining and whining, but he has not wanted to move his behind from that place, because even with the nail and all, he feels comfortable, and he has grown accustomed to his suffering”. 

Turn Off Your Cell Phone and Turn on Your Growth Process

We live in an era of hyper-connection and hyper-stimulation where massive distraction, superficiality, lack of connection and empathy, lack of focus and less hard work are overabundant. The main distractor currently is the smartphone due to countless email notifications, social media, streaming, applications, messages, calls and video calls.

We are subject to thousands of daily distractions. Simply by just hearing or feeling our cell phone vibration, you are distracted even if you don’t check it., you are more aware of the tweets, likes, comments, tik toks, reels, emails and instant messaging. All this is superficial. It has no great relevance. These activities have no great return value.  They rob you of your focus, attention, energy and time. Nothing would happen if you don’t do them.

“From the age of 2 years and beyond, western countries children spend almost 3 and a half hours daily in front of screens. Between 8 and 12 years of age, this number reaches practically 4 hours and 45 minutes. Between 13 and 18 years, it reaches 6 hours and 45 minutes”.   – Michel Desmurger

The internet is the most important activity of young people. Screens are disruptive. They build walls that separate you from the people around you, separating you from physical reality. In the meanwhile, you are making a connection with other people in a virtual environment. Socio-emotional skills are diminishing in the new generations. They avoid the ability and possibility of socializing. Young people have less meaningful conversations and connections. This has generated a chronic distraction problem and a dopamine and cortisol intoxication. Due to this, there are greater levels of stress, anxiety, loneliness and depression.

Watching people on a daily basis, you will realize how frequent and normal it is that they are always in front of a screen, be it because of their job, notifications, messages, email, applications. This generates an interruption and disconnection with people around us. There are even people that make excuses, saying that they can handle doing different activities at the same time. But the reality is different. Much has been said about the importance of multitasking, but in reality, this has only generated masses of people with chronic distraction.

While you are multitasking on your smart phone with a lot of apps, your mobile device slows down. The same thing happens with your focus, it drains your energy and your performance is not at its best. Distraction is today’s illness. Those who manage to stay focused doing the things they have to do to stay aligned with their purpose, vision and values, are the ones who obtain what is best.

A certain day I became aware and intentional about this. This has happened to me also.  I checked my weekly report on my screen use of my smart phone, and I realized it was a daily average of 2 hours and 44 minutes.

I left home and realized that people are more aware of their smart phone than any other thing. It seems it’s the most important thing for them, above all. They’re walking and checking their phone constantly. They keep it and take out every other moment. Everything is delayed. You are on a street light, it turns green and no one advances, because the drivers are checking their phones. Either they are checking on their jobs, leisure, or for not being bored, or for the fear of missing out (FOMO). You go to the market, church, concert, and we people tend to not being entirely present. We are physically there, but our mind, focus and attention are somewhere else. Completely absent from the situation. People become so distracted with their phones, that they even forget about their own children.

Phones have made us forget how to live and enjoy every moment and how to be present. Once I went to a Coldplay concert, which by the way is one of my favorite bands, and they started to play a song called a sky full of stars, and just before singing the chorus, the band suddenly stopped. Chris Martin, the singer, asked the crowd to put aside our phones, and just for once, enjoy together that song and to be entirely present there.

It was on the beginning of the year 2024 celebration in Paris, France, at the champs -Elysée’s and Arc de Triomphe, that the crowd was more eager to record their experience rather than to live it without distractions.

“When phones were connected to a cable, human beings were free”.

We human beings were free when phones had cables. Now, that they don’t have cables, we live enslaved to them. We are always on the lookout and tied to them.

Let me share with you the “smart phone paradox”. Please think about it.

·      It connects us with people that are far away, while disconnecting us with the ones that are near.

·      It can be a work tool; however, it can also be a leisure one.

·      It can be a focus tool, but it can easily distract us.

·      It can be an extension of us or appear to be someone else.

Enhance Your Growth

There are intentional actions that you can perform to enhance your growth. If you want to experience different results, it is necessary to adopt a system of growth. Andy Stanley said that systems create behaviors, and these as well are responsible for the results that we obtain. Below, I will share actions that you can include in your growth system:

·      Surround yourself with people that promote your growth. People that surround you shape you. Spend time with persons that are talented, experienced and that are growing. With people that can benefit from you and that at the same time nurture you. Growth and a good attitude are contagious.

·      Listen to inspiring messages. Nowadays more than ever, there is a great availability for resources and information, thanks to the internet and technological advances. There are videos, podcasts, series, audios and contents that stimulate your growth. Most of them are free, take advantage of them.

·      Travel to places that inspire you. Plan trips that inspire you, that promote your creativity and will give peace to your life.

·      Go to events that contribute to your growth, such as conferences, workshops, congresses, forums, among others.

·      Read books that will boost your growth. Make a commitment to read a book each month. You can find mentors through books. Tell me the size of your personal library and I will tell you how important growth is to you. So, invest in books. Don’t think, nor ask yourself how much they cost, instead ask yourself what you will not learn, grow nor improve if you don’t invest in buying them. Love books. Every year I look forward to the international book fair. Of course, I buy books during the year in bookstores and online. However, I greatly enjoy buying books in a fair and in bookstores, as if i were looking for a treasure. And that’s how it has been. I have found gratifying surprises and jewels. Consume contents that make you better, that contribute to your growth.

“If people knew that they are only a book away from the life they have dreamed, they would run to a bookstore right away”. – Raimon Samsó

There is a lot of wisdom in books, don’t ignore them, they can boost your growth.

“Miss a meal if you have to, but don’t miss a book”.  - Jim Rohn

·      Have mentors. Choose a mentor, to guide and advice you. Choose mentors depending on the area that you want to improve. Someone that has the experience and results that you wish to achieve. That he is 3 or more steps ahead of you. Invest in face-to-face or online courses. Search for mentoring. Some people have already passed that road. Success leaves a mark. That is why it is necessary to have a teachable, noble and humble spirit. Remember, we don’t know everything, we can learn from the experience and mistakes of others.

“A mentor is someone who sees more talent and ability within you, than you see in yourself, and helps bring it out of you”. — Bob Proctor

·      Take care of your body. Train and exercise. If you don’t exercise, start working out a little every day and build a habit of physical activity.

·      Do new things. Leave your routine and dullness and cheer up and venture into new things. Learn, try and practice new things. Learn a new language, play an instrument, practice sports, hiking, ecotourism, camping, etc. These activities will help you have new horizons, refresh yourself and generate new ideas and opportunities.

·      Do activities that boost your imagination and creativity, such as playing a musical instrument, writing a book, keeping a diary or having a blog, among other things.

·      Dedicate time to prayer and meditation. Set time apart during the day to pray and think intentionally. This will give you calm and peace.

·      Turn off the TV and screens. Limit your time on TV and on your cell phone, tablets, etc. Limit your time in streaming and social media and dedicate more time to grow.  Time flies and you easily lose it.  Stay away from social media, Netflix, HBO, amazon prime, series, movies, soap operas, news, media and set yourself to grow. These are the greatest attention distractors in a world where everyone is competing to catch your attention in many ways, and to keep you away from investing your time in the things that are important. All this drains your energy, your time and resources that you should have to focus on your growth and in the building of a better life and to achieve your mission, your vision and your dreams.

·      Take time every day to be grateful. Be grateful for what you have, while pursuing that which you want. Begin each day with a grateful heart and you will experience benefits. Gratitude will trigger happiness.

·      Have a positive attitude. Begin and end your day with the best attitude. To obtain better results, you will need a positive attitude.  You will achieve more with a positive attitude than with a negative one.

·      Dedicate time to reflect. Set apart minutes of your day to think about your decisions, actions, behavior and results. Have a special place to do it and keep a diary or a tool to write down your reflections. Reviewing your past notes will allow you to review and evaluate the growth you have had and identify areas of opportunity.

Design and Execute your Personal Growth Plan

Do you have a growth plan? If you don’t have one, that shows the results that you have now, no more and no less. Probably you set the gear stick in automatic and that is the way you have lived for a long time or probably your whole life.

The truth is that most people don’t have a plan for their personal growth. Make a survey and ask people around you, and you will be surprised. They spend most of their time planning their vacations, trips, weekends, parties, birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, baptisms, among other things, instead of their lives. They are looking for the easy things and instant gratification. They do what most people do. That’s why they obtain the results that everyone gets. However, if you want what just a few get, you have to do what just a few do. This begins by establishing a personal growth plan for your life.

“Do important things each day and not only once in a while”.

Follow it and you will never stop growing. This plan must include priority actions for each aspect and dimension of the different spheres of your life such as: personal, spiritual, physical, professional, in your community, relationships, among others. The more intentional you are, the better results you will obtain.

Therefore, you better design your life project, because you might fall in the plans of someone else, and I don’t think they have prepared great things for you. If you improvise, if you don’t plan nor design your life, you will be a slave of haste and you will have to settle down and bear whatever life brings to you. No more and no less.

Growth in the Midst of Adversity

There are life’s blows, difficult situations and circumstances that will make you grow. No one wants to face adversities in life, but they are necessary to grow. Of course, it hurts, but even in those moments it’s important to go through pain without losing our purpose.

“You have relieved me in my distress”.   – Psalm 4:1

Growth hurts. There will be brokenness and tears in your growth process. The biggest blow in my life was my father’s death. It was a great pain for me. It broke my heart. I had never before experienced a pain such as this, I couldn’t have imagined it. Now I know what it means to have a broken heart and not having my dad anymore with me, a man that had always been present in my life. I know beforehand that my heart will heal and will find peace. I find myself in that process.

I love my dad very much; he sowed a lot of value in me. He trained me and instilled in me a love for reading and studying. His example made a difference in my life. My loving father was my biological and spiritual father as well, he was also my mentor and coach all in one person, this was my greatest blessing. His name was Cesar Gustavo Coronado Suarez. The year 2022 was coming to an end, it had been a great year, I was grateful and sharing my next year’s purposes with my loving family. It was a very special time. In fact, my dad shared in his Facebook page how wonderful our dinner and family communion had been.

I have a vivid memory from December 2022. I was driving from San Diego, CA to Mexicali, Baja California, and during that journey, I was alone, listening to the song “Birds” by Coldplay. I started to reflect and give thanks for all the blessings God has given me. Suddenly, I said, “Thank you, my God, because I have everything, I lack nothing and no one, I am blessed, fulfilled, and happy. I have my wife, family, parents, in-laws, siblings, grandmother, and aunt”.

My first week of the year 2023 was going well, very productive, momentum was being built. I had just shared all this with my parents. I usually talk to my parents while heading to my job and Friday January 6th, was no exception. I was sharing with my parents how happy I was and how well the year had started. Then a few hours later I received the saddest and most unfortunate news I could have imagined; my beloved dad had passed away. It hurts to the core of my heart. I just could not believe it. I was in shock and devasted. How was it possible, so many things still to live, and to grow together, it seemed that everything was falling apart in a matter of seconds.

A few days later I had a terrible nervous breakdown due to stress and anxiety caused by my father’s death. It was a great shock, never before had my life been shaken like with this event. I do not wish this to be experienced by anybody. During these moments of crisis, I nearly lost my breath and fainted. My body was trembling all over. My legs, my hands and head were moving. I had lost control of all my body. I was conscious the whole time. It was a terrible sensation, my mind and body, each were just going their own way. I was afraid and felt completely powerless. There were moments when I thought I was going to lose my life.

But deep down inside of me, I thought this could not be possible for I still had so much to live for. To see my beautiful princess, grow and to be with my family, achieve many things, to be successful and transcend in life.

With all this, I understood how fragile life is. One minute we are here and in another, we are not. That is why we must not lose time in insignificant things. It has been very challenging and difficult to write these lines. It has cost me great pain, suffering and tears.

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