About

Death is inevitable, and yet the vast majority of the developed world seems to want to ignore this fact and avoid the sad inevitability. However, death is an inevitability, and trying to avoid talking about it is a mistake.

Estimate Time of Departure will take you on a journey of one man and his family having these discussions and have powerfully loving and revealing they were. They were not without sadness and challenges, but by virtue of talking and exploring the topic, the family came closer together and the inevitable passing became, while still sad, a cathartic, deeply rewarding event. Estimate Time of Departure was written to give you the courage to have these discussions. Whether you are a parent, daughter, son you will see hope, love, and reverence in the discussions.

As a successful businessman, consultant, author, and academic, Willy has accomplished much. But none of this success and experience prepared him for the journey he took with his parents to prepare them, and the rest of the family, for their inevitable deaths. After he went on this journey with his parents, many people including doctors, care-givers, death doulas, administrators, friends, and family asked him to share his story.

Editorial review

Decades of empirical research have documented the transformative and educational power of narrative. Reading stories about others’ experiences can provide deep insight into one’s own life, it can bring people together by illuminating what may otherwise feel like an isolating experience, and it can normalize some of the seemingly arduous aspects of life. Nowhere can this be seen as vividly as in stories surrounding the process of traversing end of life discussions and experiences. In Estimated Time of Departure William Donaldson expertly creates a sense of intimacy by bringing us into his world. His narrative is engaging and often humorous as he tells the stories of his family’s end of life discussions. In doing so, he makes the reader feel like a friend along for the ride. Interwoven with his experiences are concrete suggestions for the reader to consider in thinking about their own stories and how they may have end of life conversations with their parents, children, or even with themselves. Given the importance of these conversations, and the rarity with which they occur, Estimated Time of Departure is significant insofar as it shows us a roadmap for how to engage in what can seem like a daunting task: confronting the end of one’s story on earth. By showing how transformative end of life discussions can be, Donaldson not only shares his own experiences but also encourages us to craft our own stories. Without being pedantic or heavy-handed, Donaldson gently guides us through the process in hopes of helping others achieve what scholars have dubbed “a good death.” Health educators and hospice workers have long known the importance of striving to end life on one’s own terms. Similarly, communication experts have long exalted the importance of discussing end of life decisions with our loved ones. Here, Donaldson provides specific questions we should engage with and offers prompts for topics to discuss. The narrative he presents is insightful, realistic, relatable, and makes the difficult to tackle just a little bit easier. An enjoyable and insightful read, Estimated Time of Departure allows the reader to harness the power of narrative to navigate their own end of life stories and hopefully helps others to achieve the good death that Donaldson was able to facilitate for his family.

Dr. Alice Veksler, Specialist in Medical Communications

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In times that feel increasingly uncertain, there is something we can all do to give ourselves ultimate peace of mind, and that is to contemplate and make important decisions regarding the one thing sure to happen eventually: our death, and the death of those we love. Facing death in a death-phobic culture is a task few people undertake on purpose. Willy Donaldson has done so and, with grace and a vital sense of warmth and humor, inspires us to do the same.

After navigating the many complexities surrounding his own father’s and mother’s departures, Willy generously offers up the wisdom he gleaned from his personal experience, as a blueprint for untangling the knotted path that lies at the end of everyone’s life.

How we navigate this path is important, for individuals, their families, and communities, as well as for culture and for humanity. It matters how the story ends. What does dying well look like, considering one’s core values? Willy invites us into a safe space to ask this question of ourselves and our loved ones. He serves as a practical example of how to go about the tender, trying business of dying a human death, and shows us how we can prepare for our own like we would for any other sacred human experience that requires an alchemic combination of preparation, adaptability, and surrender.

Anna Marshall, End of Life Caregiver, Death Doula

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Willy Donaldson’s poignant memoir Estimated Time of Departure provides a refreshingly direct yet gentle perspective on relationships in the last phase of life. He reminds us of that most special opportunity we have as children of aging parents to serve as loving advocates and stewards of lives well-lived. If we are aging parents, he teaches us about letting go and how to accept the care and support we deserve. As a social work educator with a background in caregiving relationships, what I found the most surprising and valuable was the thread of hope he weaves throughout his journey. By illuminating the myriad of pathways down which we can walk (and talk) with our loved ones in their final years, months, and days, he provides us with hope that there isn’t just one perfect way to do this….that with persistent yet tender communication, it is possible the end of life, while difficult, will be innately rewarding and intimate.

Diane Griffiths, PhD