Sometimes, I find myself saying/thinking "I can't do X because..." In that moment, I wonder, "is this a reason or an excuse?"

But, the line is not so clear. While at first it seems that "reasons map to facts, and excuses map to beliefs," even factual reasons can be fears dressed up as justifications. (Reframe by Mona Patel)

"I/we can't because..." used to shut down my train of thought. But, "I/we can't because..." comes up all the time -- in creating client projects, when problem-solving with a team, when training customer support reps, in my self-improvement initiatives -- so I sat down and mapped out my possible next steps.

I ask myself two hard questions before going into next steps:
1. "Why?" -- as in "why do I/we even want to do X?"
2. "How do I know this is a fact? Or, what am I believing/assuming here?"
(Without the "why," the conversation becomes a jumble of unmotivated to-dos. If I don't fact-check my facts, I'm operating out of touch with reality.)

Ex. Turn facts into creative constraints. When problem-solving, facts become challenges that are fun to play around with, to push, and to reframe.

I ask, "how can this limitation benefit me?" Perhaps a budget can be used to raise more funds or have us exploring a whole new way to operate. Perhaps a technical limitation is worthy innovation challenge or a timely reminder to better understand customer needs and problems (rather than rushing to execute solutions).

Ex. Reframe "can't" into "can." Clients and customers don't like the word "no," and explanations become excuse in their ears. So, I practice speaking and questioning in a way that allows for more possibilities!

I ask myself, "what is possible?"and "when will it be possible?" are share those answers, rather than saying what won't work.

I let go of the specific solution we've been discussing, and move back to our goal... as any goal can be met by dozens of solutions.

I've made a habit of using "I/we can't because..." as a trigger moment to reframe the problem or explore more! I do this with teammates and clients -- but the hardest part is still to do this with myself...

Let me know what you think,
Angela