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Chapter 1: You suck (at fitness)! 

Why would anyone open a self-development book by announcing to the reader that they suck? Here you are trying to get in shape and I'm berating you. It's not fair, I know, but may I ask: Do you slouch at your desk? Do you find yourself indulging in late night snacks that you regret the next morning? Do you perform exercises at the gym because you've seen them performed on social media, rather than because you know they're right for your body and your goals? If you answer, Yes, to these (or similar) questions, then your approach to fitness sucks. Don't worry, though, you're not alone. In fact, even some trainers, athletes, and others in the fitness industry suck!
Believe it or not, there are “fitness experts” out there who couldn’t tell you the difference between a plane of motion and the kinetic chain, which is kinda like a pilot not knowing what direction the runway is or how the engine works. A plane of motion is just the invisible path your body moves through, and the kinetic chain is the way your muscles and joints work together like a team of gears in a machine. If one part’s off, the whole thing runs funky.
Why does this matter? Because if your workouts don’t respect how your body is meant to move, you’re not just wasting time, you’re risking injury. It’s like trying to drive a car with the tires pointing in different directions. Looks cool spinning wheels on Instagram, until your knees, back, or shoulders are shot.
Social media, the internet, and easy access to everything we want has unfortunately created a lot of “experts,” in the health and fitness industry.One of the problems caused by all this free information is that people achieve their personal goals and feel that they have the tools and resources to help other people achieve theirs. What they’re doing is honorable; how they’re doing it is not. Losing 20 pounds of visceral fat in three months (although impressive) does not qualify you to be an instant health expert. Neither does having a fantastic physique or thousands of followers on social media. What qualifies me, and other trainers, to provide fitness advice is the combination of learning, certifications, and in-the-gym experience helping people achieve their fitness goals safely. What’s the use of bench pressing a pile of weight if you injure your back doing it and can’t chase your kids around the park, or play a game of ball with your friends, right?

What’s more, plenty of people who look amazing, such as those social media influencers telling you to stop eating dairy to get a six pack, are far from healthy. Take bodybuilders for example. They may look like the epitome of health on stage, but the truth is that they are severely dehydrated and nutrient deficient. The severe calorie deficit required to get to that level of lean combined with the avoidance of water before competition to make their muscles bulge even more takes a toll. It gets to the point that just holding those poses and flexing is a strenuous ordeal that takes them weeks to recover from, and we’re not even going to discuss the *ahem* “performance-enhancing-totally-natural-oh-they’re-just-supplements” that many use... But I digress. 
Many of the people who call themselves fitness experts are simply people who were in your shoes and did somethings to lose weight or get ripped and now think they can tell you exactly how to move or what to eat to get results just like theirs. It doesn't’ work that way. Fitness sucks because this cache of unqualified “experts” makes so much noise it leaves you feeling confused, overwhelmed, and frozen so you wind up back on the couch watching Friends reruns and snacking on a bag of crisps instead of in the gym. All this noise surrounding fitness means you suck at fitness. 
The good news is that I work with people every day who suck at fitness and turn them into people who used to suck at fitness, and I can do the same for you through the pages of this book. 
You suck because . . . 
There are three categories that most people fall under when it comes to health and fitness. I even created a nifty Excel table for you! For each of these categories I’ll give you one of many stories I’ve personally experienced with clients. I’ll just change their names ever so slightly and avoid hurting anyones feelings but first allow me to explain what these categories are.

● Procrastination – Ah yes, the thief of time! Everybody is guilty of this in some sense. When given the choice of doing something instantly gratifying but not good for us or something worthwhile and fulfilling but having to work hard for it, we tend to choose the former. Many of your excuses will fall under the category of procrastination. 

When I first decided to venture on my own I had a bunch of potential clients who all claimed to be ready to start working out on a one to one basis. The majority of them were people who were already participating in the group classes I held at a well known company who we’re going to refer to as - Tangerine Hypothesis. Some even went as far as saying they’d be willing to pay for both the group classes and one on one training. It all seemed very promising but I found out pretty quickly that there was always an excuse as to why people don’t commit. In this case, procrastination!
 One of these eager clients was a lady in her mid forties who we’re going to call Kirsty. Now Kirsty was the type of lady who always complained about her weight and shape but never did anything about it. So I suggested she attend classes at Tangerine Hypothesis. But alas, she always had a reason not to. “The group thing isn’t for me, plus I never have time based on their schedule and it’s about 15 minutes from my house so I need something closer. I just wish there was something for me to do at home because there’s a gym in my building.” So the natural solution I came up with was to offer her a home program, but she said that she wouldn’t be motivated on her own. So my next offer was to train her in her building. Of course in the moment she agreed and scheduled a time and day for us to meet. I added her on social media, programmed a nice assessment session, made sure I followed up and gave her reminders and asked her questions about the facility, made sure to set some time specifically for her and when the day came, I received a text message. “Hey, I’m so sorry please don’t kill me but I can’t work out today something came up.”  
If you’ve ever been stood up, or had plans suddenly canceled, then you know exactly what I was feeling at that moment. “Something came up” doesn’t quite explain what happened, but I understood that unexpected things do genuinely come up and that perhaps she didn’t want to talk about something private. So I told her that I understood and we could just reschedule. We rescheduled for another day, when that day came, she rescheduled to another day the next week. When that day came, she rescheduled to another day a week after. All the while, I have this woman’s social media and she has a tendency to post often so I know that she’s not too busy and that she often finds time to go out, party, drink and eat like there is no tomorrow most days of the week. (side note: nothing wrong with that as long as it doesn’t interfere with your goals) Finally I sent her a message. “Hey it seems like we can’t quite settle on a time and day that works for you so just hit me up when you know 100% you can make it.” 
To which she responded … nothing! I didn’t think much of it, obviously she saw and read the message and I assumed she’d get back to me. I mean, she sounded very eager and we had a good relationship going. I was nothing but professional and diligent throughout. She clearly had a problem that I could help her with and she knew about my abilities as a trainer and the results my clients were achieving. 
     About two weeks later I saw that she posted something on her social media about how hard it was to lose weight and I reached out again. “Hey I hope whatever comes up is resolved, I saw what you posted and I’m here to help if you want me, so if you’d like to continue with what we were going to do, I have some really good ideas on how to proceed that I know will work for you! I'm available at these times and days, if not, that’s fine too just let me know :)” 
“Oh my god, yes! I was going to text you today, that’s so crazy! OK how about Wednesday at 5am? I’m super motivated and I want to do it before work, or is that too early for you?”
“Not a problem! If you’re sure you can make it this Wednesday at 5am then I’ll be ready. I’ll confirm with you on Tuesday.”
      I text on Tuesday. We confirm. Wednesday comes and take a wild guess at what happens? Yup, she doesn’t show. Not only does she not show, she doesn’t respond to text messages and the calls go to voicemail. I don’t know her door number but even if I did I wouldn’t have bothered because I got the message loud and clear at 5am in the bloody morning. She’s not coming. I give it a week and receive nothing from her but guess what I see on social media? Her out on a weeknight pounding shots and eating like there’s no tomorrow with of course, another sob story about how she can’t lose weight. At this point she has me questioning if it’s me. Did I do something? Was I too pushy? Not pushy enough? Do I need a better sales pitch? Have I offended her? 
      After some soul searching and better structuring of my reservations for sessions. After working with hundreds of different people, of different ages, genders, races, etc and finding similar behaviors and patterns, I came to the conclusion that some people just procrastinate and that is not a reflection of me or my abilities. That’s a personal problem of theirs. Something they need to work on that I can’t help them with…. Or could I? We’ll get to the answer a little later.
● Lack of Motivation – Motivation is our desire or willingness to do something. To be truly motivated, you must identify the “why” behind your surface level desire. Why do you want to do this? This is almost completely psychologically driven and something you must figure out. In fitness we often focus on the physical, but your desires and goals are usually deeper than that.
“Hey I’m Humphrey, I used to play basketball but nowadays I am 70 years old, I have a severe disability in both legs. I suffer from Sjogren’s disease. I forget most things and am about as strong as a 5 year old girl.” This is exactly how my client, who we’re going to refer to as Humphrey, introduced himself to me during one of our Christmas parties. He came with his wife, my long term client who we’ll refer to as Suzie and he was as depressed and unmotivated as they came. And at the risk of sounding insensitive or insulting, why wouldn’t he be? It sounded like he didn’t have much going for him. He was basically telling me that he was done so why would I not listen to him right? 
If someone had a lack of motivation it was Humphrey. He certainly didn’t come to that party with the hopes of changing his life or improving upon it. He just wanted to get out of the house which was, in itself, a challenge. As the night went on Humphrey got to meet some of the trainers working for me at the time and some of my other clients. At first I could tell that he didn’t feel comfortable. Most people there were half his age or younger! And between the music, the people, Suzie being a social butterfly and him not being able to move about so much, Humphrey grabbed a small glass of white wine, went to that solitary place in his mind and he sat quietly in a corner. 
That is until I saw him. I had gone out to get some ice down the road because I always find myself rushing around when there’s a party going on. I want to have everything ready but I have a tendency to want to do too much in the time I actually have.  In this case I had everything, except for ice! When I arrived I obviously had to greet everyone and received the mandatory abuse from my staff for being late to our party and as I was frolicking around I spotted Humphrey out of the corner of my eye. 
It was weird to me because everyone seemed to be socializing except for this one guy whom I’d never met, sitting there in the corner. So naturally, I wanted to know who this guy was. I walked over, grabbed a chair and sat next to him. Suzie was over to the side speaking to another member and saw me pull up a chair so she promptly introduced me. That’s when he said his famous line. I’m not going to lie, I was taken aback, it was both odd and sad to hear a grown man say those words. Those words told me immediately everything I needed to know about this man. He was depressed and had a severe lack of motivation.
I laughed it off and so did he. One of those moments where you’re joking but not really. I took that moment to praise Suzie as a way to open a conversation about his situation, seeing as Suzie was the closest one in the room to his age, (as far as he knew anyway) I figured it would be a good way for him to have a different perspective. He agreed that Suzie was both looking and feeling much better since starting with us and I asked him if he had been this way for a long time or if his regressions were recent. This, he told me, had been a steady decline that was slowly progressing through the years. “I bet you haven’t seen many people with the amount of problems I have.” He laughed. I laughed too, Suzie laughed, the lady Suzie was speaking with laughed also, and an older looking gentleman chuckled a little further away. 
He looked around amused but somewhat confused at everyone laughing at his comment. Then he looked at the lady Suzie was speaking to and noticed she had a walker and she definitely wasn’t so far from his age. That lady was another one of my clients. At sixty five years old, with two knee replacements, a herniated back, rotator cuff tear and several pounds overweight. The gentleman who chuckled was another member, 62 years old, one bad shoulder, one bad knee, and recently diagnosed with a heart condition.
All of a sudden Humphrey realized that he wasn’t surrounded by people too different from him and that he wasn’t exactly outmatched when it came to his conditions. His posture changed and he sat upright, he looked at the gentleman and said “Oh boy, I guess this guy gets all the broken ones huh?” tipping his glass in the gentleman’s direction with a smile and gesturing to him to join us. As the other member walked over I offered my seat and excused myself and allowed them to speak. A while later Humphrey came over and asked. “Hey, please be honest. Is there anything you could do for me?” 
At first sight, this guy is a challenge for any trainer or even medical specialist. I could have said “I’m sorry but no.” and it would have been perfectly justified. Just an hour or so ago he was completely unmotivated and had given up on life. Now, he’s asking me if there’s anything I can do for him. The occasion didn’t call for conversations about business but it’s always a good time to help someone, so I responded with a question. “How much are you willing to pay?” I didn’t really say that, obviously I’m joking! I said yes and told him to come with Suzie during her next session. 

● Lack of Education – How can you achieve something without understanding the steps?                             How do you get started if you don’t know where to start? Fitness is full of nuance. The right exercise, done at the wrong time, or in the wrong way could set you back six weeks. The same exercise done in a different way, or at a different time in your fitness journey can propel you past a plateau. Education can help you figure out these nuances. Unfortunately, because of the way the fitness industry has been taken over by uneducated influencers, it’s hard to cut through the noise. 

Story time: One of my first clients who we’ll call Ronald was a gentleman who in his fifties felt like he knew enough about fitness to not need any help from everyone. Everyday he woke up at about 6am. Took his two dogs out for a walk, did about 50 push ups, 50 sit ups, had his usual breakfast - coffee with two sugars and milk. Had a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich with some extra bacon, a glass of orange juice, then went about his day. Ronald was a self made entrepreneur who owned several businesses and some buildings, so he was definitely a busy man. His days were so busy that he wouldn’t eat anything else until about 3pm. By that point the hunger would be too much to bear so he would find anything near him, usually some fast food place. After that he didn’t eat again until later in the evening around 9pm where again the hunger would set in and he would gorge on any leftovers or snacks available around the house.
This routine was his standard for the five years or so, but as far as he was concerned he was healthy as can be! At least that’s what he first told me when we met. Ronald was convinced that he was living a healthy lifestyle and that his routine was an exemplary one. “I’m 58 years old and I feel great! I do my daily routine and honestly I don’t think you need to do much more at my age. I think I’m healthier than most people my age and probably healthier than some people half my age!” So was he living a healthy lifestyle? I mean he wasn’t wrong about most people his age. Unfortunately there are a lot of people in their fifties who don’t exactly do much when it comes to taking care of their health. Not to mention that he had a consistent routine in terms of his nutrition, exercise and rest. (more on those three things later!) and he seemed very happy with what he was doing. “Sounds great! So um, what do you need me for? It sounds like you’re pretty confident about yourself and what you’re doing. How can I help?”
This guy sounded like he had it figured out so why did he need me? “Well I think I have a good routine and I think I’m healthy but am I? I went to the doctor and my blood pressure is high. He told me I shouldn’t be eating so much bacon and that I should exercise more but I think I exercise a lot! And I also have this belly but it doesn’t make sense because I hardly eat and I do daily exercise so I don’t get it.” 
“I’m going to agree with your doctor here. I’m going to need more information about you and I’d have to do a physical assessment but what is your goal here? What are you trying to achieve and how do you think I can help you?”
“Honestly , I just want to feel healthy and better about myself. I want to get rid of my belly but I feel like I do so much without getting the results I want and I don’t know what to do.”
“Well the way I see it, you’ve been doing something consistently for several years which has led you to where you are now. You’re not happy with where you are, so something needs to change. As a matter of fact several things have to change but I like to implement small, long lasting changes so let’s start with a complimentary assessment session, where I’ll be able to identify what changes need to be made.” 
As a fitness professional I hear this kind of thing often. People doing what they consider to be “healthy” based on the fact that they’re being proactive in something or based on common misconceptions. A common example is cutting out carb because you’ve heard they’re bad for you, spoiler alert, they’re not bad! Here’s the thing, by any standard Ronald was doing more than the average individual in his age range and he was keeping to some consistency which again is more than the average individual but there were certain aspects of this routine and his lifestyle that needed to change in order for him to achieve his goals. His problem? Lack of education! 
Once we addressed the lack of education, Ronald saw results. First, his stomach started shrinking, and then, his blood pressure moved toward a healthy range. The exercise routine that kept you fit in your twenties may not work when you’re over fifty. The same can be said for diet. Ronald had motivation and wasn’t procrastinating, as indicated by his consistent exercise routine. What he was missing was the right information to act on now that he was a man in his fifties. 

Chapter 2: Excuses

Most people who wish they had different fitness results than they’re getting have one excuse or another. That excuse can help me identify which of the three areas they need to address: procrastination, motivation, or education, so I can tailor a fitness plan to their needs and goals. I’ve taken the liberty of putting my thoughts about the common excuses I hear in a table so you can see which excuses correlate to which area of lack. 
If you read this table, and you feel indignant, or upset that I’m calling your excuse out as a lack of motivation I encourage you to take a breath. “You don’t know what I’ve been through! Things are easier for you,” “I would, but I have a bad knee (hip, shoulder, foot).” 
Do any of those phrases sound familiar? I want you to come to terms with one thing. Any “reason” you have for not moving your body is an excuse. There are people with no limbs and extremely debilitating conditions who exercise! I know because I’ve worked with some of them. I’m here to empower you, and we can’t do that with excuses in the way. We’re going to tackle each of the most common excuses I hear in the following sections. This isn’t about shaming you, it’s about cutting through the nonsense so you can finally get the results you want. To do that, you first have to accept responsibility. The way you’ve been living is what led you to where you are right now. If you’re not happy with it, it’s up to you to change it. 

I’m too lazy (Procrastination) 

In the book “Get Out of Your Own Way” by Mark Goulston M.D. and Philip Goldberg, they explain that most people have a tendency to sabotage themselves. The authors identify 40 common self-defeating behaviors, including procrastination, envy, obsession, anger, self-pity, compulsion, neediness, guilt, rebellion, inaction, and more. Which they encourage people to reflect upon by analyzing their behavior and providing practical steps toward change that the reader can work into their everyday life. 
The idea of inherently being lazy is a misconception as far as I’m concerned. Yes, as humans we are “lazy” because we seek to improve our lifestyles by doing the least amount of work and hoping for the biggest return. This is why we no longer hunt or forage for food. (Unless you count supermarket runs as foraging). We adapted and developed ways for us not to have to do those tasks. 
I get it, nowadays we can do everything with a tap on a device and we don’t even have to leave our bed. The point is that you are not “lazy” by design. You choose to be lazy, saying that you are an inherently lazy person when it comes to anything you want is an excuse. More likely you’re just not motivated.

I’m not motivated (Procrastination/ Lack of motivation) 

At least now you’re saying that you don’t have (or can’t think of ) a reason to better yourself, and I can’t disagree with you if that is truly the case. There are 2 types of motivation: intrinsic (stemming from inside you) and extrinsic (stemming from external sources). If you lack motivation for fitness, find someone who doesn't and try to adopt their ways. One of my most dedicated clients first came to me as someone who lacked motivation - she was referred to me by her physical therapist to ensure she kept moving after her hip replacement - and now, 3 years later, she bounces into our sessions with endless goals and passion! Why? Because she's surrounded by a community of people who are passionately driven by fitness and health. This is not so much a flaw as something you’re missing within yourself. Ask yourself, “What motivates ME and why?” If you don’t have a motivator, find one. 
Ok first exercise! When you have a few moments. Get in front of a mirror and get naked. Quite a jolting suggestion, I know, however do it and honestly ask yourself three questions: Do I like what I see? Am I the person I want to be? Am I who I want others to see me as? If the answer to any of those is no, that’s your motivation right there. I’m going to play devil’s advocate here and say that if the answer is yes, then substitute these questions with - Can I be better? Do everything in your power to look the way you want to look, be the things you want to be and project yourself to others the way you want to be seen.

I don’t have time (Procrastination/ Lack of motivation) 

What you’re really saying is “I suck at time management” because let’s be honest, we all have time. We may not always have time for some of the things we want to do, but we always find a way to create time when it’s something we prioritize. For example, if you have children, you know damn well that your time belongs to them! You may want to enjoy some alone time but somebody needs to take care of the kids. So in the same breath, you may want to exercise but where do you leave the kids? Right? 
I get it, time management is very tricky, everybody struggles with it but not prioritizing yourself is the biggest issue here. You have time, you’re just not putting yourself or your health first. I believe fitness should be synonymous with health because putting your fitness first would allow you to prioritize it as part of your overall health and wellness. 
Ask yourself these questions. What time do you wake up and what do you do each hour until the moment you go to sleep? This will give you a good sense of your habits and what you spend your time on. You’ll probably find that you have a lot more time than you think, but you’re just not investing that time where you should be. 
According to a publication by Milos Djordevic for Letter.ly published on April 26th 2021, the average american spends over 2 hours and 25 minutes a day on social media. I would argue more! But think about it, most people operate on a 12 hour day of which, 8 of those hours are spent at some form of job. 
Add 2 and a half hours of social media and you’re left with less than 2 hours to do anything else. I know that the hours in social media are usually used during work hours, but even if we don’t count those hours, you’re still left with roughly 4 hours to do anything. If your fitness or health and wellness are not at the top of your priority, it’s very easy to focus on literally anything else. 
Everyone should make a priority to set at least half an hour of free time for some fitness, whether it’s early in the morning, midday or late at night. Reducing your social media time alone is a simple fix. The biggest problem we have nowadays is our phones. We have the knowledge and power of the world at our fingertips, but we choose to be distracted by dancing kittens. 
Don’t get me wrong; there is a time for distractions and unwinding. Not every moment of your life has to be super motivational, go-hard-or-go-home, and your fitness should not take precedence over other forms of quality time. However, it should be an important part of your day as you dedicate time specifically and exclusively to it.

I don’t have the money (Procrastination/Lack of motivation/ Lack of education) 

You may have noticed I paired this excuse in the earlier excel table with procrastination/ lack of motivation and lack of education. Let’s make sure you understand what I’m saying here by pairing not having money with lack of education. I’m saying that you don’t have the knowledge of understanding that money is not a necessity for this. Besides, when you say you don’t have the money, what exactly are you saying you don’t have money for? A gym membership? Healthy foods? Supplements? 
Let’s be real, a gym membership can cost as little as $10 a month. I understand that not everyone can afford a gym membership at all and that some areas are more expensive than others, especially if you want to join a high-end (expensive) gym. But guess what? You don’t need a gym! Nor do you need to spend absurd amounts of money at the “organic only” section of the supermarket, purchase the latest supplements endorsed by your favorite celebrity to have better physical, psychological or emotional health. 
Look, you do not need extra money for this. Organic food products are great if you can afford them. However most people can’t and don’t, so don’t beat yourself up over whether it’s organic or not. Supplements can help but they aren’t essential for starting. 
What you need is a desire to better yourself and a willingness to do whatever you can within your budget. Not only that, if you have money to buy other things like designer clothes, fast food, the newest phone, etc., then you have money to invest in yourself and your well-being. You’re just choosing not to. 
As with all the others, I’m calling bullshit on this excuse. Do what you have to do. That could well mean running outside and using walls, benches, scaffoldings, stairs, rocks or anything at your disposal. In terms of food, keep it simple and cost-effective. Worst case scenario, I’ll give you the bloody $10 for a gym membership myself! Actually, please don’t take me up on this offer. I wrote this book on my laptop (which I’m paying off monthly) from a one-bedroom, basement apartment in a not-so-lovely area of the Bronx... I do not have the funds to pay for anyone’s gym membership monthly.

I don’t have the resources (Procrastination/Lack of resources/Lack of education) 

What resources do you mean? Books? Internet? A gym? Equipment? Have you heard of calisthenics? You can do bodyweight exercises that will generate great results literally anywhere. People in prison that have limited space, time and resources use things like towels. Go to a park; those are free. Use stuff in your house. 
There are endless options. Look up exercises and routines online. Can’t go online because you have no internet or phone? Go to a public library. Don’t have a library nearby? Go to a gym, stand outside and do whatever they’re doing from outside the window! Where there’s a will, there’s a way, so instead of looking for excuses, find solutions and be proactive. Don’t let anything get in your way. 
At this point you may be thinking that I’m a little out of touch with reality. How could you possibly achieve anything without the proper resources right? Here’s the thing, I think some people place too much focus on what resources they need, instead of just getting started. In other words they use this excuse for not going after their goals. 
I’ll refer again to the book “Get out of your own way” because this is just you getting in the way of well … you! With that being said, in chapter ___ I give you some conventional and creative options that you can explore whether you have resources or not. 

My partner/parent doesn’t support me (Lack of motivation) 

Sometimes the people who love us the most are the ones who become the biggest obstacles when we want to succeed at something. Consider your loved one's thoughts, they might shed light on something you hadn't considered, but stay true to yourself and your goals.You have your goals and you’re going to achieve those goals with or without their help. This must be your mindset. 
Listen to their objections instead of dismissing them immediately. Most of these objections will come from a place of love. Sometimes they stem from their own insecurities, which become very obvious when you explain your “why” to them. Hear them out and help them understand that this is something that you must do, and explain your reason for it. Allow them to be a part of your progress. You might find that they are more accepting and understanding when they play a part in this aspect of your life. 
When it comes to parents, they may feel that you are “fine the way you are”. Most people have a perception of who and how you are, so to hear or watch that a person they love doesn’t have the same perception of themselves can be extremely saddening. Open communication and dialogue will help anyone involved in your life understand why you’re deciding to make any changes in your life. 
Change can also be scary for anyone involved with you romantically. This person may also feel that “you are fine the way you are”. For example, if your partner is the type of person who enjoys going for a boozy brunch on a sunday and now you’ve decided that this habit is not in line with your goals and now you’re going to start going for hikes and meal prepping on a sunday. It could have a potential negative effect on your relationship as far as your partner is concerned. In this example open communication and dialogue would be the best option. 
In any example however, you must understand why you’re making changes and express your intent. Let me be very clear here, you’re courteously expressing what you’re doing and why. You are NOT asking for permission. You’re taking control of YOUR life and doing what’s best for YOU!  

I have an injury/chronic illness (Procrastination/Lack of motivation/Lack of education) 

Any injury, illness or health condition should be handled and dealt with by a medical professional. In no way shape or form am I claiming that any of the information in this book is medical advice. But, there is a solution for everything in life except death! Too often we fall on hard times and adopt a victim mentality. It’s a natural reaction when something happens to us and we feel powerless. Even the strongest willed person will find themselves in situations where it seems like they can do nothing. 
There clearly are situations, illnesses, injuries and problems that have no known solution and thus impede our goals, especially in fitness. I’m not trying to say that you should make fitness your primary concern when faced with an extreme tragedy. If I can’t run, I’ll jog. If I can’t jog, I’ll walk. If I can’t walk, I’ll crawl. So on and so forth. I know a woman who was paralyzed from a neuromuscular condition and started lifting weights in a wheelchair while she relearned how to walk. 
Basically, find a way around an injury and do other things so you do not regress too much. Make sure you do movements and exercises that aren’t detrimental to your current injury, but don’t use this excuse to stop or not begin your journey. A lot of chronic conditions, injuries and illnesses can be greatly improved (for legal purposes I won’t say cured) simply by changing your regular habits in three main areas in your life. We’ll discuss what these areas are in just a bit. 

I don’t know what I’m supposed to do (Procrastination/Lack of education)

One word: Research
“But hold on, you specifically said that there is a lot of misinformation out there and people who will lead me astray!” I did and I stand by that statement. But there’s also some good information if you take the time to carefully and discerningly research information that is backed by science and from reputable sources. 
Make sure that the content you’re consuming comes from doctors, physical therapists, scientists, established personal trainers, nutritionists, dieticians, etc. People who have had to study what they do, not just the pretty person with abs. Look for people with titles. Granted the titles alone don’t necessarily equate to expertise in a field but at least you know they had to study and pass tests to get their titles and likely their opinion and advice is based on research. I’ll make it simple, if the option is AnthonyFitnessDude vs Anthony M.D. Your safest bet is the doctor. 

I don’t like to exercise (Procrastination/Lack of motivation)

So, what do you like? Whatever it is, even if your only pastime is playing video games, the fact that you’re sitting down for hours on end means that your posture is going to suffer a great deal. That right there is one reason to do exercise… so that you don’t suffer from pain because of bad posture when you’re playing video games. Or, have you considered how everything is going virtual and how you’ll very likely literally be immersed into video games! 
As of the time of me writing this, there are virtual reality systems with the capability of simulating all the senses, which means that we’re very close to being fully immersed. Do you want to be the only one having to pay for an expensive upgrade because you can’t outrun the pack of flesh hungry zombies. 
But what if you go a bit deeper and analyze the activities you like? If you do, you can identify your emotional attachment to them, why you enjoy them and what physical activity you can do that relates to those activities. If you like reading and the feeling of getting lost in a book, maybe listen to an audiobook as you go for a run. If you like fighting video games, maybe you join a martial arts studio to feel even more immersed while you’re playing. 
The human body is designed to move! It’s also designed to conserve energy by not moving, but that doesn’t mean you should embrace a sedentary lifestyle. There needs to be a balance. Worst case scenario, if there’s absolutely nothing physical that you truly enjoy, then fuck it! Just do something that you don’t enjoy and understand that the benefits of not receiving instant gratification will help you in the long run, and be happy that your chances of developing an incurable illness will be lowered. 

Exercising is hard! (Procrastination/ Lack of motivation)

        Nothing worth time or effort is easy. Change especially is not easy, and not just on a physical level. Creating an exercise habit is more emotional and psychological than physical. You need to understand that your routines and habits have molded you into the person you are and in order for you to change, your habits, and the thoughts about those habits need to change. That’s IF you want to succeed, because quite frankly, what you’ve been doing hasn’t gotten you to where you want to be. 
A lot of people think of “fitness” as what they see on social media and in movies, sexy people doing sexy exercises and looking really cool. Yeah, they look a bit tired and sweaty, but they guarantee you with their routine or product you’ll look amazing in six weeks too. Ugh, spare me. Let me be very real with you. This whole thing sucks! People who look good, feel good and are successful put in work and they do so consistently. They show up daily whether they feel like it or not. What you see is but a fraction of what’s really going on behind the scenes. The trouble is that the industry makes it seem as if you can expect quick results. So, when you show up in the gym consistently for a couple weeks without seeing a leaner physique you wind up feeling like a failure. Then, you beat yourself up and go back to eating the same foods that got you to where you are today. 
When we break things down into simple, manageable steps we find ease and flow. After a few months exercise is no longer drudgery. Sure, there are still days I don’t want to work out, and even my most dedicated clients walk into the gym with a sour attitude some days, but we still show up. Simply put, exercise becomes a lifestyle. The health and longevity you’ll experience is worth it and you will learn to like exercise much like you learned to dislike it. As humans we are designed to move. Exercise releases endorphins, or feel-good chemicals in the brain. It gives us a sense of achievement and balance knowing that, although it sucks when you’re holding a plank for a full sixty seconds while your muscles quake, it’s going to feel good afterwards. When you walk up the stairs without getting winded, or pick up a couch without throwing your back out you’ll thank yourself for all those squats and mountain climbers. Remember the way you are now is not who you are; it is who you’ve learned to be. It’s time to relearn what your body already knows it needs and find ways to enjoy it. 

I’m self-conscious (Lack of motivation) 

Ask yourself: Why am I self conscious? Not everyone has the courage or confidence to go out and give it their all. As a matter of fact, very few people do. If you’re worried about showing up in the fitness space, or at your local gym because you’re afraid of what others will say, I get it. We live in a world where people are often cruel and project their own insecurities, along with their emotional and psychological issues onto others. This leaves little room for them to be empathetic to how others feel and because of this, it makes sense that someone would be insecure when it comes to fitness. 
Too many times I’ve heard things like:
 “I’ll work with a trainer once I’m in better shape.” 
“I don’t want to be around other people that can see me doing things wrong.”
“I don’t want a trainer judging me and telling me what to do or what to eat.”
But just how does one get over this excuse? A good method is to find your “why”.
Your “why” is the reason behind what you do. When you have a “why”, suddenly it doesn’t matter what anyone says or thinks because you become focused on your “why,” your reason, your purpose. I want you to be so focused on what you’re going to achieve and why,  that you realize it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks or says. The only thing that matters is what you want to achieve and how you’re going to achieve it. We’ll work on this more in chapter___.

I have to think about it (Procrastination/ lack of motivation)

Before writing this book, I thought to myself, How do I write a book? And the answer I came up with was… start writing! What is there to think about? How much thought and consideration do you need to give this simple premise: to have optimal health you have to take care of yourself physically, emotionally and psychologically? You don’t. You already know taking care of your body is your responsibility. Far too often we overthink things and try to approach our goals from a thousand different angles. 
In the same breath when you ask yourself, How or when do I start?, answer it with: Just do it! Do something, anything! Stop thinking about it and start doing it. Seriously, anything at all. I don’t care where you are or what you’re doing right this very moment. Do squats, pushups, pull-ups. Jump ten times, punch the air, run, shake your legs. Even if you think it looks stupid, stop reading for a second and do something right now - don’t even think about it. 
The only thing limiting your progress is you. The reason you can’t do a pushup is because you haven’t been practicing them. There are modifications for every exercise.if you can’t do a pushup today, do a pushup motion against a wall. Once you can do ten, try using your kitchen counter. If you have no excuses, then you have no reason to not get what you want. It’s all a mindset. I can personally say that anything I’ve seriously given my full time and attention to has become a reality. Nothing can stop you from achieving your goals unless you allow it to. 
Tough Love and Foolproof Scaffolding

My approach to teaching fitness combines tough love with a slow, manageable progression so you develop a fitness habit that takes you through the rest of your life. If no one has ever shown you tough love, allow me the honor of being the first to do so, because honestly, no one else cares about you or your goals. Well, that’s a bit harsh. I do! And your mom might, but for the most part, no one else does unless your goals affect them directly. If you want to achieve anything, then you need to see these excuses for what they are, and you have to be the one to do something about it. Whatever your goal is - lifting  heavier than your high school bully, or running a marathon, I want you to get what you want. No one else will do it for you. Which leads us into our next topic - determining your why. 

Chapter 5: The three pillars of health 

Ok, we’ve established some good points. Briefly covered some deep stuff, now, we’re going to come up with a simple analogy to identify fitness areas. When it comes to fitness, we should all aim to meet the basic definition of healthy - free of illness or injury. We should aim to be physically, emotionally and psychologically healthy. When taking this into consideration, we can look at certain aspects of our lives and habits that play a crucial part in our overall health. I’ve broken them down into three categories, these are the three pillars of health: Exercise, Nutrition and Rest. 
Are you anxious, stressed, depressed, high strung? All of these are detrimental to your progress and they all fall under REST, it’s not just about sleeping. If you suffer from any of these, you’ll have to find ways and means to combat them to get better rest. Guess what helps with all of these conditions? 
Exercise and good nutrition! Doctors will recommend a plethora of pills for each of these and on some occasions, they are necessary (always listen to a medical expert’s recommendation and guidance). However, a lot of chronic illnesses and conditions can be helped or greatly improved with good routines and habits. 
Imagine a beautiful ancient Roman building. What sticks out in your mind? Likely it’s marble pillars at the entrance holding an ornate roof of some sort. Imagine that there are three pillars next to each other holding up that roof, now imagine that the roof is your health and those pillars are holding up that roof. I know, I sound like willie wonka with all this imagination but give me a second, there’s a point being made somewhere in here. 
In order for that roof to be held up effectively, you’d want all three pillars to have solid foundations and be sturdy enough to hold the roof up. If there are cracks or issues in any of them, the others suffer for it. Of course, you could rearrange the pillars in a manner that would still hold the roof up more or less, then strengthen that one or two pillars to get away with neglecting the others for a while but inevitably you’re risking the integrity of the whole structure because of it. 

Figuring out where you suck the most can help you immensely. You want to identify your trouble areas, look at your current habits and change them. When you excel in and correct one of these areas, the others get better too. Getting balanced will have you feeling and looking better, the pillars are all intertwined. So, let’s keep it simple, for each of these pillars I will pose just some of the most common questions and problems, and offer solutions.

“We should all aim to meet the basic definition of healthy, free of illness or injury. We should aim to be physically, emotionally and psychologically healthy.”

Exercise: 
The first and obvious one is, are you getting enough exercise? Well, what is enough exercise? According to the American Heart Association, for adults, 30 minutes to an hour of physical activity that gets your heart rate relatively high, at least three times a week, is considered enough for general health. That could well be a sport, the gym, or anything that gets you moving. And no, walking to work or any other area that you’re already used to is not enough, especially if it’s something you do daily. I’m talking about an extra 30 minutes to an hour of physical exertion. What you’re doing now is clearly not enough if you want your body to change. I don’t care how winded you get from walking up a flight of stairs or whether you have a physically demanding job. If your body isn’t changing, it's simply not enough! 
You may be wondering what kind of exercises you should do? This depends on what you think will get you moving and stick with it. A lot of people sign up for a gym just to walk on a treadmill. If you’re planning to do that, invest in a treadmill and stay home! Better yet, go running outside! Because unless you’re extremely determined and have a fantastic, progressive, treadmill-specific program and your only goal is to run on a treadmill for a long time, doing that at a gym is (mostly) a waste of your time. Pick something that targets as many elements of fitness as you can. 
That means something for your heart and lung health. Something for your muscles, tendons, ligaments, joints and bones. Something for your flexibility, mobility, agility and endurance. And finally, do something that you enjoy. It doesn’t have to be a gym! Join a club, go outside, try something new! There are literally thousands of options to choose from. Here are some unique types of fitness that you may not have heard of to get you inspired. (Disclaimer: I am in no way, shape or form involved with any of these models or businesses I just happen to think they’re cool alternative forms of exercise): 
Goat Yoga. Yup, yoga with goats. It’s exactly what it sounds like and honestly, I think it’s awesome! 
Trampoline classes. Want to channel your inner child and get some fitness while you’re at it? Why not bounce around and not be told off for doing so? 
Underwater cycling. Awesome for people with arthritis or injuries because you’re underwater! Well, your body is submerged but your head stays above the water. 
Rock climbing. Want to feel adventurous and be in the great outdoors without actually having to be in the great outdoors? This could be the choice for you! All the fun of climbing boulders without the need for bug spray. 
Day breaker parties. The concept here is pretty simple, dance, laugh, sing and have a whole fitness party with a bunch of like minded fun people who like to party as much as they like to workout.

“Why work out when you can get surgery?” Unfortunately, I hear this far too often, usually followed by, “My friend/neighbor/cousin/etc. had surgery and they look amazing!” Ugh, I really want to take a plank of wood to someone’s kneecaps when they say this. As far as I’m concerned this is a lazy approach, not to mention an unsafe and not always sustainable one. Why would you want to mutilate your body? 
With that said, there are situations where surgery is necessary. Our bodies are very malleable, but some things, like excess skin from rapid weight loss, stretch marks, specific injuries and psychological conditions have no other solution than surgery. It’s when people choose surgery out of pure vanity and laziness that I hold a bit of judgment, primarily because it isn’t the healthiest or most natural solution. 
“Should I do cardio, weights or both?” It all boils down to your personal goals and how these movements tie in to those. Ideally, you want to have a good, all-round routine that incorporates both disciplines, but neither are inherently wrong or right. The question you should ask when considering any form of physical activity is, “Is this in line with what I’m trying to achieve?” Not too sure? Do more research, or consult a licensed and experienced trainer. 
“I want to look like [someone you admire]. How can I make that happen?” This one is straightforward. If you find an idol or an ideal body type that you aspire to have, do what they do, how they do it, when they do it. Start from what you can do now (at your level, with your resources) and slowly progress until you are at their level. If that seems far-fetched, then so are your goals. Maybe you need to reconsider what you want, assess where you are and what you would have to do to get to that ideal. You can’t buy a $1 million mansion on a $10 budget. In the same way, you can’t look like an action hero if you can’t even do a push up. Honestly consider where you are and what it would take to get where you want to be. 
“Who can help me?” You’re going to want to seek out certified experts in this field, people like personal trainers, athletes, coaches, physical therapists (if you have an injury or chronic illness) and doctors. Family and friends are also a consideration, however, unless they’re experts in fitness they’ll serve you better as support systems. You could also consider fitness communities, but those are usually found once you actually start. Best to start with the guidance of an expert, these people can identify any physical imbalances, limitations or trouble areas as you start and progress through a fitness program. 

“It doesn’t have to be a gym! Join a club, go outside, try something new!”

Nutrition: 
Are you eating what you need for your goals? If your answer to this is, “I think I eat relatively healthy. I have salads and stuff,” then I already know the answer. No, you’re not eating what you need. Are you tracking what you consume? You don't have to obsess over it, but if you really want to ensure that you're eating right, it's important to understand the calories you’re taking in. I’ll make it simple, if you want to get smaller, eat less. If you want to get bigger, eat more. 
This is an extremely simplified understanding of what you could do. If you want some sciency stuff, you should find out your basal metabolic rate (BMR) which is how many calories you should consume to maintain your body functioning at whatever your current weight is. Then if your goal is to get smaller you should reduce the calories you consume slightly, to be below your BMR. Or, if you want to get bigger then you should consume slightly above your BMR. 
Ideally, for health purposes, you should aim to have balanced meals with a bit of everything. That includes proteins, carbohydrates and fats. “But carbs are bad!” “I’m on the paleo diet.” “I do keto.” Listen to me carefully, diets are short-term solutions to long term problems. As humans, we are designed to use a bit of everything we consume. Just make sure that what you’re putting into your body on a regular basis isn’t completely full of shit (fast food, processed meals, high sugar, high fat, high salt), have a bit of everything in moderation and you’ll be fine. Unless you have specific health conditions or specific goals, in which case you will have to do some more research on what you should be consuming to get to your goal. 
Put down the gummy bears and pick up something a little bit more natural. The claims that fruits are too high in carbs and sugar aren’t completely false, but these carbs and sugars are actually good for you. So put down the oreos and pick up a piece of fruit when you want something sweet. Your mom was actually right, as gross as some veggies are, a diet rich in vegetables can lower blood pressure, reduce the risk of heart disease and stroke, prevent some types of cancer, lower risk of eye and digestive problems, and have a positive effect upon blood sugar, which can help keep appetite in check. 

“What about protein? That’s the most important thing right?” Protein is found throughout the body—in muscle, bone, skin, hair, and virtually every other body part or tissue. It’s not the most important thing but it’s definitely something to pay attention to. It makes up the enzymes that power many chemical reactions and the hemoglobin that carries oxygen in your blood. At least 10,000 different proteins make you what you are and keep you that way. Protein is made from twenty-plus basic building blocks called amino acids. Because we don’t store amino acids, our bodies make them in two different ways: either from scratch, or by modifying others. Nine amino acids—histidine, isoleucine, leucine, lysine, methionine, phenylalanine, threonine, tryptophan, and valine—known as the essential amino acids, must come from food.
I know, I know. Some of you don’t eat meat. Listen, I love animals as much as the next person but we can’t deny the nutritional value of any type of meat. Whether it be land dwellers, birds or fish, the fact is that animals provide an array of macronutrients that are beneficial to our development. Do we HAVE to eat them to have a balanced diet? Are there alternative sources of macronutrients from other organisms? I guess it depends who you’re speaking to. In any case, I’m speaking about real meat not Dino-nuggies!
While we’re on the subject of nutrition, add grains to your diet. Grains are naturally high in fiber, helping you feel full and satisfied — which makes it easier to maintain a healthy body weight. Whole grains are also linked to a lower risk of heart disease, diabetes, certain cancers and other health problems.
“How do I know if something is healthy?” If you’re starving (and I mean literally about to die of hunger), and I give you something considered “unhealthy,” will it nourish you? Will you survive? The answer is yes. Could you have something better? Of course! But you wouldn’t die of hunger because it’s deemed “unhealthy,” would you? You have to stop thinking of food in terms of “good” and “bad” and more in terms of its usefulness in relation to what you need. “Is this mocha-loca-choca double fudge, frosty coffee shake healthy? It says it has 36 grams of protein, so that’s healthy right?” Something like this may seem healthy because of its high protein content, but it’s loaded with sugar. Does your goal include consuming copious amounts of sugar? If it doesn’t fall in line with your goals, then don’t have it. Does what I’m about to consume fall in line with what I’m trying to achieve? - THAT is the question you should ask yourself. 
“How much should I eat?” What is your goal? Trying to lose weight? Have less calories than you use. Want to get bigger? Have more calories. Trying to lean out? Be more mindful of the sort of food products you’re consuming and when you’re consuming them. Food intake is going to boil down to a simple formula: calories in vs. calories out. In other words, are you consuming more energy than you’re using? As a simple rule of thumb, have at least three solid meals a day. Solid meals include all major food groups with a lot of different vegetables and as boring as it may seem you’ll see better results if you only drink water with your food. Vegetables and fruit (that are not tainted with harmful pesticides and other preservatives) are wonderful for humans. 
Bonus tips: 1) If other species don’t eat what you’re eating, it's probably best not to have it either. 2) If it spoils quickly, it’s probably good for you. For example, fruit and vegetables that are left out will spoil in a short span. If the food you’re considering doesn’t, it may have something added to it. An additive for example,  is a substance added to food to enhance its flavor or appearance to preserve it. A lot of our foods are filled with additives that could potentially be considered unsafe, or unhealthy. Several studies show that some additives could cause issues like hyperactivity amongst children, while others have been correlated with certain cancers and heart diseases. 
An example of this comes from an excerpt from Natasha Longo who is an author for Wake Up World, an online platform for a range of authors, covering topics such as; physical health, emotional health, spiritual growth, political awareness, sovereignty, human rights, social and environmental sustainability. In her article she states that a particular study into additives showed “High fructose corn syrup causes insulin resistance, diabetes, hypertension, increased weight gain, and not to mention it is manufactured from genetically modified corn.” Her example shows how careful we should be with what we consume. In some European countries, some additives or any food containing them, are banned or come with a warning label. Yikes!

“Should I do the (insert popular diet of the times)” Generally, no. Diets are temporary fixes, not lifelong solutions. I’ll acknowledge that some diets restrict your calorie intake tremendously and “work.” Not healthily, since they deplete you of vital minerals, nutrients and vitamins... but there’s no disputing that they get the job done. Another reason I say no to diets is that you are trying to create healthy habits in line with your goals, not just get quick results. Or at least that’s what you should want for optimal, enduring health. How does that happen? By having a bit of everything in moderation. 
“Who can help me?” The best thing to do is seek out a certified expert’s opinion. Look for dieticians, nutritionists and doctors in your area. These are the people who can give you clear, specific instructions and guide you in your individual nutrition journey. But Anthony, what about weight watchers, Jenny Craig, Atkins, Keto, Paleo, etc. Here's the thing. I don't think that people who are serious about their goals should use those avenues. I'm trying to provide a no-nonsense approach to this. I want the best guaranteed results. So, in my humble opinion the best resources are the ones I'm mentioning. If you want the best results, as soon, safely and effectively as possible, then going with an expert is the best resource in my opinion. Anything that promises quick results or is designed around a cult-like model and requires you to buy into the model, just doesn’t quite do it for me. 

“If it doesn’t fall in line with your goals, then don’t have it.”

Rest
Do you get at least six to eight hours of sleep a day? Do you give your body enough rest after you do something strenuous? Rest is a major component of health and fitness. When you do anything strenuous you need to give your body time to recover. I refer to anything mentally or physically strenuous also. Plenty of research suggests that humans need anywhere between six to eight hours of sleep just to function regularly. 
Can’t get those hours during the night? Try and take a nap here and there. Also, in terms of muscles, you need about 48 to 72 hours for them to recover after resistance training. Rest doesn’t have to mean doing nothing. You can actively rest by doing less strenuous activities and still keep moving. The point is that you need to have some form of a rest or disconnect, that’s how we function. We do stuff, rest, recover and start again. 
“I just don’t know how to relax. I'm always anxious.” I hear you, life can get pretty hard sometimes and as much as I’d like to think so, working out and eating right isn’t always the solution. I know plenty of people who eat healthy and work out regularly and still suffer from anxiety. The above mentioned examples are good methods to cope with anxiety and they cost nothing! 
Read a book. Hey you’re doing it right now, go you! 
Everybody knows about yoga and its benefits for stretching but the real magic is in detaching from reality and focusing on your breathing and meditating. Yoga is a group of physical, mental, and spiritual practices or disciplines which originated in ancient India and aim to control and still the mind.
Not into stretching or being at one with yourself? I get it, sometimes the scariest place to be is alone with your own thoughts. So why not try and go out to the great outdoors and let mother nature help you? Exposure to forests strengthens our immune system, reduces blood pressure, increases energy, boosts our mood and helps us regain and maintain our focus in ways that treeless environments just don’t. Almost anyone can reap the rewards of a short sojourn to the woods. The Japanese call it "shinrin-yoku" or "forest bathing." Even 20 minutes in a forested space is enough to produce positive changes in the body.
Although I’m Roman Catholic by denomination, I can’t say that I practise my faith religiously. However, even I can’t deny the seemingly healing quality of prayer. Prayer can foster a sense of connection, whether it's to a higher power, what a person finds important in life or their values. Prayer also implies the context of a relationship with a higher being rather than a solitary journey. Praying within a relationship with God that feels loving and supportive may help with managing stress and life's challenges.
Take some time for yourself. But like, really take time for yourself. Even if you’re about to burst because you have so much going on. Pause for a second and do something for you, go take a 20 minute bubble bath or make yourself a cup of tea. Tea is the best! 

“I’m too sad/depressed which makes me unproductive, which then makes me feel anxious, which then stresses me out and makes me even sadder.” The point of this book is to inspire, uplift, motivate and get you on your way to success. Everybody sucks, you included but that doesn’t mean that we beat ourselves up for it. It’s part of who we are, a bunch of idiots sucking at everything then moving on. Sadness is and should be considered a part of life, NOT a constant state of being. Actively work on trying to achieve some happiness or worse case, work towards not being so sad. Here are some examples of how to do that:

Force yourself to smile. OK, try not to be a complete creep about this and definitely don’t look into the mirror and smile while crying. Instead, when you’re feeling a little down, smile and then (if you’re not bawling your eyes out) smile looking into a mirror. Just a few seconds a couple of times throughout the day will suffice. A smile releases a chemical reaction in the brain, along with some hormones including dopamine and serotonin. Dopamine makes us feel happier. Serotonin reduces stress. 
Talk to someone about your woes and troubles. You’d be surprised how much clarity you’ll get and the type of solutions that you can come up with when you openly speak to someone else about your worries. Don’t have any to speak to? Speak to God, or a God, or any other type of deity, consciousness, belief system, overlord, public figure, etc etc. Whatever you believe in or don’t, talk to him/her/them/they/that. 
Have you considered music? Deane Alban, one of the founders of Bebrainfit.com has this to say about how music affects the human brain: One of the ways music affects mood is by stimulating the formation of certain brain chemicals. Listening to music increases the neurotransmitter dopamine. Dopamine is the brain’s “motivation molecule” and an integral part of the pleasure-reward system. It’s the same brain chemical responsible for the feel-good states obtained from eating chocolate, orgasm, and runner’s high. Interestingly, you can further increase dopamine by listening to a playlist that’s being shuffled. When one of your favorite songs unexpectedly comes up, it triggers a small dopamine boost. Playing music with others or enjoying live music stimulates the brain hormone oxytocin. Oxytocin has been called the “trust molecule” and the “moral molecule” since it helps us bond with and trust others. There’s evidence that the oxytocin bump experienced by music lovers can make them more generous and trustworthy. 
With that in mind, consider putting together a ‘feel good’ playlist. Music is deeply tied to our emotions and having to actively put together a playlist means that you’ll have to search and figure out what songs and melodies make you feel good emotionally. Once you’re done, you’ll have a playlist of nothing but upbeat and positive songs that you’ve chosen for yourself. This is a sure way to subconsciously feel better. Your subconscious brain will think “these noises make me happy”, which forces your conscious brain to go “I don’t know why but I’m kind of happy now”. Boom! Science! 
“I don't always sleep at the same time” Create a simple routine and stick to it! We are creatures of habit, when we’re sad and spiral out of routines we feel worse. Force yourself to get out of bed at a certain time and distract yourself with small achievable tasks for the day. Give yourself credit every time you achieve the smallest of tasks. Eventually having succeeded at small things, you’ll start to give yourself slightly bigger and more ambitious tasks until you’re back in the swing of things.
“Should I still rest even if I’m not tired or sore?” Some people claim that they don’t need rest, or that they don’t feel sore after their workouts. Besides, what muscle does a rest day work anyway? Don’t be stupid. Whatever your goal is, you still need rest! The way muscle-building or even progressing through any fitness program works is: You go hard, break up tissue and fibers, then rest and repair, giving the body time to adapt and come back stronger. If that is not happening, you’re asking for exhaustion and fatigue, which will then lead to faulty movement patterns, which will lead to injury and then you won’t be able to use those glorious muscles. 
“I don’t really need that much rest, besides I have too much work.” In 2010 the American College of Physicians, conducted a study where the objective was to determine whether sleep restriction attenuates the effect of a reduced-calorie diet on excess adiposity. Researchers split subjects into two groups: one that slept 8.5 hours per night and another group that slept only 5.5 hours per night. The group was composed of 10 overweight nonsmoking adults (3 women and 7 men) with a mean age of 41 years and a mean body mass index of 27.4 kg/m². Both groups were then put on a regulated calorie deficit for two weeks.
In terms of weight loss, both groups lost the same amount of weight given that their calorie deficit was equated for. Here’s the interesting part. The sleep deprived group lost 60% more muscle mass and 55% less fat than the group that got adequate sleep. This study seems to suggest that sleep has a powerful effect on not only muscle recovery, growth, and retention but also fat loss.

“Who can help me?” Sensing a theme? You’re going to want to look for certified experts like psychologists, psychiatrists, sleep experts, meditation practitioners, massage therapists and doctors. These people can help you with your emotional and psychological well being, as well as your sleep patterns and routines, which we now know tie in directly with your rest. 

“The point is that you need to have some form of a rest or disconnect, that’s how we function. ”

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