God Made Me Sassy… Then He Taught Me Grace

from broken to the core to thriving beyond my circumstances, becoming an unapologetic, and yes, SASSY testimony of hope!

Romans 55: 1-11 “An Invitation to Abundant Life”

“Everyone who thirst come to the waters; and he has no money come, buy and eat! Come buy wine and milk without money and without price. Why spend money on what is not bread, and why labor for what does not satisfy? Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food. Come to me listen and hear that your soul may live; I will make an everlasting covenant with you. My steadfast, merciful love for David, I made him a witness, a leader, and commander to the peoples. Behold you shall call nations that you know not, and nations that knew you not shall run to you, because the Lord your God has glorified you. Seek the Lord He will abundantly pardon you. For my thoughts are not your thoughts and my ways are not your ways, says the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth so are My ways and My thoughts. The rain and snow come down from heaven, and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout. Giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall My words go forth from My mouth; it shall not return to me empty but it shall accomplish that which I intend, and prosper in the thing which I have sent it.”

Volume III
    The Comeback Kid

I am often called “The Comeback Kid.” Bouncing back from mishaps, missteps, and downright wipeout events. I have mastered the art of making a comeback. Along with some catastrophic events, I had so much faulty and negative thinking imprinted on me from an early age; I consider myself optimistic and hopeful in comparison to my family. However, I was becoming the very thing I resented the most. The negativity and judgmental ways were now showing up in me. This is how I found myself on the proverbial hamster wheel. 

Around the time COVID hit, like everyone else, I wondered how we would come back from this. I was given the time to go into either deep reflection or panic. I could use this time to grow or wither; I chose the first. This was not the first time I would have this opportunity come my way. I would try again to find the silver lining. I wanted to come out of this with a shift and another chance to grow. I would come back from this.

I had experienced many times before what I call divine intervention. Now, let me set the record straight: I had been doing deep mindset work in both therapy and coaching personally and professionally for over twenty years. I had learned to rewrite my internal dialogue for my truth years ago. I wanted to make sure I didn’t carry past stuff to my child. More on that later.

So I had done the work and moved past tremendous obstacles in my life. My relationship with God was growing stronger and on a deeper and more intimate level—so much so that when the world shut down, I became almost mechanical in my business to make certain my therapy practice and my team would be okay. I was on autopilot. I got to experience being supported, picked up, and carried by the supernatural. I knew I would make a return.

 I was prompted very early on during COVID to reach out to offer support to others. I began holding online meditation moments and prayers and posting inspirational messages and hope-filled content on social media. During COVID, I learned the value of  social media when used with intention and purpose. The connections I made and the communications I had with others opened the door to new ways of thinking. 

By the time the world started moving again, I realized I could not go back to what was considered NORMAL. Theodore Roosevelt wrote in one of his books about the deafening silence that happened immediately after shooting a gun. That “stop,” the intensity of being in the moment with your senses and awareness on alert. This was how I experienced COVID. The quiet was a quiet I had not heard before. The quiet was deafening. 

Because of that pause, I had learned to embrace the quiet. I allowed myself to sit with my thoughts and feelings. Experiencing this was both empowering and exhausting. Surprisingly, some negative stuff, despite the work done earlier, came trickling through. The seed of negativity came when I was alone with my thoughts. There was still another layer I had to work through. I thought I had dealt with this earlier. The problem was, I wasn’t aware of this layer. We can’t “fix” what we don’t know is “broken.”
I found myself asking my source, my universe, my God, “There has to be more, right?” He answered, loudly and clearly, ”YES!” The difference between my earlier work and my awareness of this layer was my openness and willingness to receive guidance from God. 

Searching for answers and my hunger for a deeper awakening was key to my intimate relationship with Him. Growing up Catholic, reading the Bible was not where teachings came from. In my youth, the rules of the Church were the focus of instruction. Finding instructions from the Bible would establish comfort and confidence in my communication with Him. My study and love with God and his word would take root a few years ago. I sometimes stop and laugh at myself as decades ago, I would have never sought answers in Him or His word. Today, I refer to Him as the CEO of me. Through meditation and reading, I seek His guidance. Now, if you are not fully here, don’t feel left out. Plug in what works for you; Universe, Spirit, Higher Power. I was right there with you not so long ago. But I can tell you, in my experience, when you throw it into His hands, when you give Him permission to provide you with guidance and feedback, He will show you! 
Through His word 2 Corinthians 5:7 “walk by faith not sight” (hold on to this one you will see it again!), He gave me the lesson that I had to let go in order for Him to grow me into the person He created me to be. I would have to fully surrender and let go. 

Upon this revelation, I had vivid dreams of free-falling backward into the hands of others—a challenge I was never successful in myself. I had facilitated workshops and instructions on this exercise with others in their work around trust. This was an area I struggled with, and I recognized that with all the work I had done, I had not learned to fully trust. I could act like I trusted, but to the core, I did not trust. This shed light on my not living in alignment—do as I say, not as I do. My actions were not fully in line with my thoughts; this was part of my “hamster wheel” and triggered my anxious thoughts and feelings.

Trust is a funny thing; it can be a ladder leading and boosting or a wall blocking the opportunity to be the person we were created to be. I had experienced trust as the wall blocking me. In my lack of trust, I would dismiss the suggestion of my issue, claiming, “I don’t have a problem with trust! I am just cautious.” Guess what? I didn’t trust. I didn't trust people, things, myself, and yes, God. When He revealed this to me, I fell. I took that final freefall into His hands. He showed me all that I was doing to bring me closer to Him, all I was doing to serve, but my mind was still stuck in fear, stuck in lack of trust. Without trust, you can not have faith. Ouch, that one hurt; and yes, to my surprise, there is a scripture for that one as well. 

James 1:6 says,“The one who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed about by the wind.”

I can tell you I was whipped around by the wind of life.

So when the world began to move again, I did as well, but through a new lens. Open, ready, willing, and wanting to change. Now, all the previous work I had done could really take root. I was no longer just going through the motions. I didn't have to do or be anything; I just needed to trust Him, and He would provide. I didn't have to trust people or things; I needed to trust Him. He would put the people and opportunities I could trust in my life.

“Old Sharon'' would have been resistant, needing control, not doing anything that didn’t look familiar or comfortable, getting in my own way…this is where my sass would come in. If I felt I was losing control, I would grab the bull by the horns. This is what we are taught, right? “Do it yourself…if you want it done right, you have to do it.” What if I had it all wrong? Guess what? I did! I don’t have to do anything by myself; all I need to do is follow where He leads. Don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean I get to sit on the couch and eat bonbons all day, expecting the bills to be paid. What I have experienced is when I surrender all areas of my life to him no matter what I am facing I know He has me. The other side of whatever I am going through will work out for good. 

When God moves us into a new season, it’s not one without challenges and obstacles. It comes with change, and change is the hardest thing anyone will ever experience and the thing to which humans are most resistant. I have experienced that when we go where He is leading and let Him carry us, we are on a more direct path to the destination. Come on, close your eyes…visualize the shepherd carrying the sheep. The sheep rests upon His shoulders if it gets too hard for it to walk. God does the very same thing for us. Where typically our response is to go into fight or flight, when we go by faith and not sight, we can release to receive.

I have learned various skills, interventions, and techniques in my clinical practice that I know work to move someone past the unthinkable. I have worked for over twenty years as a trauma specialist to help victims move past horrific events. What I have discovered is that after individuals have done the work and moved past trauma, they now look at the world through a new lens. What clients often discover is that there is no way for them to go back to the old way of living. As a therapist, I can help them recover and get back…but I wanted to do more. In my own life, I have the desire to do more than live. I want to thrive. One of my favorite scriptures is in 1 Corinthians 13: 11. “When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I reasoned like a child, when I became a man I gave up childish ways.” My spiritual maturity was not equal to my age. Upon surrendering to Him, I have received an abundance of knowledge. I am a forever student to my Father. I have always said I am a late bloomer, meeting those milestones after many of my peers. (Why I do not compare myself to anyone else…anymore!) I was a mess, and I still have messy ways, but something powerful is happening here.

Now, the “New Sharon'' was open to letting God take over! Release to receive, let go of worry, let go of fear, and be ready for His truth. Worry does not move the needle in any area of our lives. Worry is a blocker, worry prevents God from doing what He wants. He desires to remove all of the old before He can make new. I use the word “new” along with “aligned” to talk about being who He determined us to be. In the Bible, it is written, “Before we are formed in our mother’s womb, He had planned our life.” I find this exciting and liberating. I don't have to worry or be afraid because He already has it planned. Do I really think I can screw it up? I have definitely gotten off track and made a number of discoveries. I use the word “discoveries'' in place of “mistakes'' as many of my greatest lessons learned were through these so-called errors. I did think for some time I could screw it up or that maybe I already did. He quickly reckoned with me that I cannot mess anything up that He has planned. My need to control my circumstances might make the journey more difficult, howevernHis grace is great. He will just sit and wait for me to release that grip, which is not always easy. God made me sassy!

Today, I am ready to step into my Divine Purpose, living my purpose of being a beacon of light, and planting the seed of hope in others.

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Hope is a critical piece in our lives. Losing hope catapults one into the depths of depression. Without hope, there is no moving forward. I truly believe the seed of hope is what has helped me survive and thrive beyond unthinkable circumstances. Even at times when I felt all hope was gone there was a flint, an ember of hope. 

There are various thoughts on hope, and my belief might be one that takes some back. Unlike some, I do not believe in the concept of false hope, or degrees of hope. I BELIEVE in hope! I believe in it and believe it is available and obtainable to all of us. Hope is connected to searching, trusting, waiting, desiring, and expecting. Its practice is believing in things unseen. We don't hope for what we already have. I had to break free from old patterns of thinking to really experience this in its fullness.

 Hope is not a wish list. I spent the greater part of my life, wishing for something different. I wasn’t practicing or even understanding the difference between the two. “Wishing” for something is about as beneficial as blowing out those darn birthday candles. “Wishing” comes with an element of doubt, serving as a protective layer. If what you wish for doesn’t happen you are protected from disappointment. Hoping for something connects and engages your thinking and behaviors that are going direct you to the desired outcome. Hoping in something is believing, experiencing, and showing gratitude toward the thing as though it has occurred.

As I move into this new season, I live ever hopeful. Some call it delusionally optimistic, but I choose to stick with hopeful. In Romans 8:24, it says, “Hope that is seen is not hope, we hope in things unseen.” My move to New York City in fall of 2022 was rooted in hope. Prior to this, I wished I could live somewhere else. My wish was to get out of New Orleans. I definitely did not imagine I would land in Manhattan. I was too afraid to even consider the possibility. The wish to live elsewhere would overwhelm me; trying to figure out how and where would paralyze me. Over twenty years of living with the fear of dreaming would keep me right where I was. 

****

A couple of years ago, I started playing with the idea of living somewhere else. I had begun widening my network and asking questions. The dance would be one foot forward, two steps back. Fear would set in, and many around me would shoot the ideas down. After all, who was I to dream? After about a year and a half of this, I heard the voice. “You want to dance? Let’s dance.” Remember the Thomas Crown Affair? Pierce Brosnan says this line to Rene Russo (as she tries to control the dance), then he firmly takes her and leads her in the beautiful dance. Yes, God speaks to me through movies, music, etc. It became so clear; I had to surrender and let go of control and follow His lead. I stopped stepping on His toes.

As I am sitting here, writing this book, I am realizing that, six months ago, I made the decision to follow God’s calling of selling everything and move on. In all honesty, I struggled with this but the messages kept coming through loud and clear. I would ask for signs like my friend Gideon in the Bible. 

Gideon was called to do the unthinkable. He was also the most unlikely character to carry out the assignment. To make certain he was clear on God’s calling, Gideon asked God for a sign to make certain he heard the message correctly. Gideon did not trust the first answer, and he went on to ask for signs three more times. Like Gideon, I wanted to make sure I was getting this right. I needed signs! I encourage you to check out the story of Gideon if you have not before. You can find his calling in the book of Judges chapter 6. I made the decision after my daughter shared her desire for me to live with her as she grows in her acting career. The vulnerability she shared along with her wisdom was my sign. Time and time again, God would use this beautiful human to grow me. Shortly after this, I announced to family and friends that I would not be returning from my visit to New York. I would list the house; it sold within a month of listing. I aligned my businesses so that I could work and run them from anywhere. As for family and friends, well, like it or not, they would get on board.

So I would close on my home in New Orleans as I was staying with my girl in her 500-foot apartment with no home of my own. Well, I kind of had a home; my name was on the lease as the guarantor for her in New York. So now, it was official that the four of us, (Sawyer and Ziggy, the fur babies), were along on this journey. I had no idea where we were going to live when the lease was up and how we would survive the four months left.

I returned home to New Orleans one last time to wrap things up and pack up the house. I had a sale for everything in the house…yep, following His order and selling everything. Within two weeks, what I hadn’t sold I put into storage. I had found a reasonable moving company that would give the first month’s storage free. 

So now, back to my adventure in NYC, where I began the hunt for a new space. I knew we had some time left on the lease, but I felt prompted to start looking. New York real estate is not for the faint of heart. Properties move quickly, and brokers want to make sure you are ready to roll when it is time. God is not so different. I had been praying about a time frame, but my own anxiety would block His plan. My answer as to when I wanted to move was on May 1st. So I found apartments that I loved, but I would lose one after another because my move-in date was too far out. After repeated disappointment, I threw my hands up realizing my planning and waiting until “I was ready” was preventing me from hearing what God was saying. God’s timing is perfect and usually not what makes sense to us. I said, “You got me here, You will provide.” At the same time, we received notice that my daughter’s building was sold and the new owners wanted to offer an out for anyone who wanted to take it. In other words, the owners would allow us to break the lease. And that never happens in New York! 

Everything is in God’s timing, and when He is ready, it is time to roll. Now, I had a move date that was as soon as possible! This released a lot of stress. I didn't have to be out by a certain date, and I wouldn't pay penalties for terminating a lease early. I just had to let the new owners of the building know when we would leave. I began looking at apartments. Where I really wanted to be was on the Upper East Side between Third and Fifth by Central Park. This was a huge order for what I wanted to pay. God put a number on my heart and it was fair but not what the market was asking. One broker said they would be in touch…crickets. Another realtor who had kept in touch with me for some time was excited about the challenge. She was young and hungry and found several properties for my daughter and me to view. Some of the spaces had me questioning whether we should stay where we were and figure out how all four of us would fit into 500 square feet. I knew something was coming. I just didn't know what or how.

When I ask myself questions that I cannot answer or fill in what I don’t know, the unknown can throw me into panic and catastrophic thinking. These are two of the primary features of generalized anxiety disorder, and I live quite effectively with both. I have learned and fine-tuned my own tools for living with this diagnosis. One of the most beneficial things I’ve learned is to turn what I am worried about over to God. Remember, no matter where you are, this concept can work. I have done this exercise with clients of various beliefs. Unpack and let go of the unknown and plug in what we do know in its place. So once again, I had to let go. 

I would find myself asking, How, how was I going to make this new living work? What was revealed to me was “hope over worry.” Look at the first letter in each of the words…they spell HOW! He gave me a concrete statement for what was a frightening question. This is how full surrender and release work. You have to quiet the noise to receive.

The same day this statement was revealed, my broker contacted me about two more properties—one on Fifth Avenue with a doorman, elevator, and across the street from the park. I hit the jackpot! Old Sharon popped up with urgency and wanted to rush. I told the broker, “Let's do the application. I can see it after the fact.” I could be impulsive in my past and that old trait still tries to return. The broker told me to see the space first. The pictures of the apartment were stunning, but it is always wise to look in person. There was also a second property she wanted us to look at because the online photos showed no windows. We thought, How can an apartment have no windows? So I was off with my mind made up. I would be on Fifth Avenue. 

Fifth Avenue was beautiful. Custom build-outs, lots of storage, a cute kitchen, and all of my color schemes. The 600-square-foot apartment looked like a small version of the house I had just sold. The downsides: it had windows, but only to the building next door, no natural light, and a very pushy realtor representing. Now, I heard, “Be still.” I thought I would probably apply but wanted some time to think. There were lots of strings attached to this space. Old Sharon wanted to jump, but the new me was stepping into this peace with patience. 

On to the second property. My broker shared that it was on Lexington Ave around the corner from the park. Funny enough, when I shared my initial list of deal-breakers with my broker, I said no to Lexington because it is a busy street. Then we arrived…and ugh! Another deal-breaker! The apartment was on the third floor and was a walk-up. NO WAY! As we stood in the entryway, I told the broker I didn't even want to look. She looked at me and said, “We are right here, we are looking!” The look was one I had not seen before. I felt obligated, so up the stairs we went… 

The stairs were actually not bad, only two flights and not steep. Then, the reveal! The space…1200 square feet with floor-to-ceiling windows across the entire front of the apartment. High twelve-foot ceilings, crown molding, a beautiful kitchen, and… the floors. Oh my, hardwood chevron pattern! 1200 square feet in New York City is not common. One might get lucky with a two-bedroom around 700 square feet, but 1200 was amazing. The apartment actually was the entire third floor of the building. More square footage than my bungalow home back in NOLA. I thought moving to NYC would require downsizing. I never imagined the possibility of the opposite, obtaining more space. 

The windows…all I can say is wow, a jaw-dropping wow. The natural light that comes through requires no use of lighting. With the apartment taking up the entire floor. There are windows on the east and west sides, the east being where those beautiful windows live. They look out onto Lexington Avenue. In New York, usually the numbered streets are quiet, and avenues are busy. Surprisingly, this stretch of the avenue is one of the more quiet and quaint blocks. This view looks out onto streets made up mostly of pre-war buildings. Many, like the one I was viewing, dated back to the 1800s. Another plus for this property was the history. I love architecture and historical buildings. One of the things I love about my birth city of New Orleans and what drew me to New York is the history these beautiful cities hold. Those windows looking out to the eastern side would give to beautiful sunrises. Mornings are my favorite time of day, and the idea of being greeted with breathtaking views would put this as a solid contender with the apartment on Fifth Avenue.

The drawbacks were minimal, but still, they caused me to pause. The entire apartment was painted a light gray with a black chandelier. Not my color scheme at all! I wasn't sure about these; I would have to think and think hard. After all, I was open to change, but this was pushing the envelope. Maybe God was making more changes…after all, the plan was to leave the old behind, right? When God enters the picture, He is not subtle. I mean, He is always around, but I had invited Him to come in and take over. But gray with a black chandelier…really? As I stood in the apartment, my conversation with Him sounded like an argument between Fred and Ethel Mertz from I Love Lucy fighting over apartment decor. Anyway, I know He had called me to do some radical things, and this search for my new home was no different. So this was either part of that plan to get me into something new, or it was His way to clearly direct me back to the apartment on Fifth Avenue. 

I asked the owner when the apartment was available, and he said ASAP but without urgency. Upon my return to my daughter’s apartment, I was exhausted, but the wheels in my mind were turning. I anticipated I would not sleep at all that night. I had to make a decision and make it quickly. I don’t even remember going to bed that night, but I did. That night, I dreamed vividly of my new space. The dream was one of those dreams that when you wake up, you believe you are actually there. It took me a minute to realize that I was still in bed at my daughter’s apartment. God had spoken and revealed to me where we would live. The decision was made; I knew where my next home would be. My new space, my new, true life was ready to begin. 

I would say no to Fifth Avenue. This space was not sustainable. The lease was only for a year, and the max would be two years. After going through the application process, I did not want to have to go through it all over again. For my fellow Manhattanites, you know what I mean. The process of getting into property in New York is challenging and exhausting. The other thought was, did I really want to have to move backward after the fact? Knowing that where I was moving is probably not my forever home, I wanted to be able to move up in real estate. To live anywhere across the street on the east or west side with easy accessibility to Central Park is coveted. Some might jump on the opportunity for the experience, but I felt in my heart God saying, “Not yet.” With the Fifth Avenue location, the only way from the building to get into the park is a thoroughfare, a busy intersection. It looked like an onramp to an interstate. So while the building is across the street from the park, it is not a very pedestrian-friendly stretch of the park. 

I also came to be reminded of how important natural light is to me. I need the light! The light inspires and energizes me. That great front room with so much light fuels my imagination and renews my creativity. A big part of this move, this calling from God to step into my new life, is to experience new projects and new opportunities. Both will require a great deal of energy and inspiration. He led the way, and I found this heavenly space, aka Lexington Avenue! 

Now time for the application process. I already had my file together, so the broker submitted all the documentation. The owner of the building did share that he had some other applicants but was hoping to have someone in the space long term. His previous tenants lived here for eight years. I have learned to not overcommit, but I was definitely looking for options to renew. God also put on my heart to offer fifty dollars over asking. I thought, This is such a ridiculously small amount. Will it really make a difference? This is where faith, trust, and obedience come in. I heard loudly, “Just do it,” so I made the suggestion to the broker. She liked it and passed it on to the owner, and guess what? He immediately came back and said, “It’s yours.” 

I know I have said New York real estate moves quickly—what a whirlwind. When I let the current landlords know we were ready to move, they asked, “How soon can you be out, and do you need help?” They wanted to gut and remodel the building, so they were anxious to move any current tenants ready and willing to go out. My timing and need to have everything worked out in my head would have cost me money. With God and His timing, we got paid. Remember that storage company? I didn't have to pay for storage because we found our new home within the time of the free offer. Another blessing from the moving sale I had back in New Orleans was that the earnings paid for all of the moves with some left over. When God blesses, He blesses abundantly!

Being a believer and faithful child of God does not mean I am free of challenges. Obstacles appear all of the time. I am human, so I mess up. What I can trust is that God is with me throughout and He will work everything out for good. In Romans 8:28, we are reassured that “all things work together for good.” Everything seemed to be moving along quite smoothly, but we would hit a hurdle on moving day. There would be an issue with getting the furniture in. I could hear my mom saying, “Be sure to measure the space.” I would dismiss this advice as I thought, Of course the furniture will fit in this humongous space. I am very much like my dad and tend to eyeball things. Christmas trees would be our constant challenge with the eyeball guide to measuring. Picture the Griswold’s Christmas tree. 

Back to the space. This beautiful space is an 1800 pre-war building and one with a historical background. What this means is that the structure is governed by the historical society and city. It needs to remain intact and within the original design. The problem? The obstacle that would be revealed was that my big- a** Southern-style furniture from New Orleans did not fit up the stairs of this building. Really, God, are you kidding me? 

I didn’t freak. In the past, I would have turned into the Tasmanian devil, spewing at the mouth. I stopped and took a breath. Then, I reached out to my mom (who has an army of women ready to pray on demand) and asked for prayers. Guess what? God came in and took over! 

WOO-HOO! The owner/landlord, a very peaceful man, came up with a solution. He got the quick go-ahead to remove the banister—yes the entire banister—in order to allow the furniture to be carried up the stairs, literally removing OBSTACLES. Now, the reworking of the beautiful old banisters allows for them to easily be removed and replaced in future moves.

This space was truly chosen for me by God. He knows space and place are critical for me. He knows that a prime location is more important to me than the size of the house. This time, He provided both. Having the entire floor provides space for all four of us to move around but feel cozy. The location is 100% pedestrian-friendly with the entrance to Central Park just around the corner. The building sits between 72nd and 73rd among some of the most beautiful streets in New York. Really, anywhere in the 70s where the streets are lined with beautiful trees, townhomes, and historical buildings is soothing to my soul. Between the location, the size, and those beautiful floor-to-ceiling windows across the entire front room, it was divine intervention. It was clearly a sign from above that God kept this gem hidden from the masses waiting for me. There were no photos or verbal description; the landlord didn't even mention these features in the listing. Had these items been pointed out, this property would have been scooped up much more quickly. The entire process was validation and affirmation of what can happen when we trust.

The unpacking and getting everything set up did not take long. Some items were broken, and much I had sold. I chuckled over what was broken because I remember thinking, Do I really need this? I have learned that a lot of what we acquire is just “stuff.” Now, I still like “stuff,” but this move and clearing has been freeing and liberating. My new space, along with my new life, comes with new lenses in which I view the world. I don't need “stuff” to validate me, but I like “stuff” to express who I am. This is why light is so critical to me. The windows are an expression of me—I have the ability to look out and take in what lies before me in all its beauty. Each morning, I get to sit in my prayer chair (yep, it made it up to NYC!) and give thanks to God and His Kingdom. 

The “prayer chair” is one of a pair of swivel glider chairs that, back in New Orleans, I had claimed for this purpose. This is my prayer, thinking, and meditation space. It sits next to its twin, divided by an end table that holds my journals and prayer books. This space is where the very idea of this book was born. God speaks to me here, I feel Him here, and I feel His arms around me in this time and space. I know we can pray or do any of these things anywhere, and I do. I talk to the Big Man upstairs all the time. This space is reserved for a quiet and intimate experience with Him that transcends and allows me to see beyond my earthly eyes. It is here that He allows me to glimpse into the unseen. In 2 Corinthians 4:18, it says, “So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” In the busyness of our lives, we can easily miss this because of what is constantly presented to our earthly eyes. We need time and space to disconnect and shut down our human senses to experience the divine. I highly recommend finding a quiet space with a favorite chair and other items that are just for you. You deserve this. I believe everyone, if possible, deserves at least a space of approximately six feet just for themselves. Just to let you know, I measured this with a tape measure. I don't use this space for anything else but prayer. I encourage you to give yourself this gift of space and time. This is the first step in reclaiming your time and living who you were created to be.
 
March 21st, 2023: it was all set. I was in the new space and ready to start living—living that best version of myself. The first thing I noticed was a different level of thankfulness. Yes, I was thankful the move was done and that I was finished with that chapter of my life. This level of gratitude was different, however; it had me giving thanks for every aspect of my life. As I sat taking in my new surroundings, I was experiencing thankfulness and gratitude without regret and with an abundance of peace and hope for what the future held. 

It was in this space that the difference between thankfulness and gratitude was revealed to me. Being thankful is more of a feeling, whereas gratitude moves us into action by having us physically showing appreciation. I was experiencing gratitude for the blessings I could see and touch. I am grateful for the things I am asking for as though I have already received them. Finally, for the first time, I am thankful for all of the trials and tribulations along the way. Moving from feelings of thankfulness to gratitude leads me toward giving back and thinking beyond myself and my needs. Guess what? I am even thankful for the light gray walls and black chandelier. These two features have become some of my favorite things in the apartment. Gratitude changes the lens through which we look at the world. What we are looking at suddenly becomes beautiful. What I am most grateful for is God’s constant love and patience with me. My calling of being a beacon of light to plant the seed of HOPE in others is how I can bless those around me.

My landing on Lexington Avenue in Manhattan, New York, is not some random act; it is not by luck. It is by divine intervention. Whew, looking back I almost missed it, I almost missed it because I was holding on to what was comfortable. I was holding on to what made sense. It would have been easy to settle into my life in New Orleans. I could work very little and live an okay life, gardening and walking in the park. I was fighting some of the old “Sharon mold,” holding onto comfort. How God works is that He shakes things up. He shakes things up to release my grip (I’m still going through some shaking)—the grip was years of imprinting, teachings, and following the rules of others. Some were easy to let go of, some harder, but I had to SURRENDER to begin living the plan that was at hand. 

I have been asked what I was hearing, seeing, or feeling that led me to believe this was a calling from God. I’m sure many individuals were questioning my sanity or thinking that I had developed a disorder of delusions. With my sanity intact, what I can share is that I very clearly heard and experienced this in previous callings from Him that were beyond doubt. This one even I questioned; remember, I requested those Gideon signs. 

What I experience and what helps me discern whether or not it is from Him or my own whimsical wish is a divine internal dialogue. What I mean by this is, yes, it can still be my voice, but the prompting or statements I am hearing are formulated a bit differently than my own verbiage. My own wish list and way of thinking might sound like, “When I retire, I am going to move to Disney World and sell cookies on Main Street.” Many have heard me say this. I am a bit of a Disney junkie. Living and working there, however, is not His calling for me. A calling and a nudge for something different or more comes from deep within. You feel it in your bones. You might dismiss the thought, but it will come back if it is a calling to step into your purpose. The calling is not the how, where, or when, it is just the event. The purpose will usually leave you scratching your head…did I hear this correctly?

I would have dreams that were so real—clear images almost like watching a movie of my life play out. In these dreams, I saw myself living out the calling. I saw the places, people, and settings. I heard the sounds, and every one of my senses was touched so that it felt very real. The reality comes with the emotions of excitement, fear, and nervousness. The calling is usually something that makes you uncomfortable even to dream. It usually is big, and yes, we often shut it down before we give the dream an opportunity to take root. There are many scriptures that I have discovered to help me in my discernment. One of my favorites can be found in Proverbs 19:21: “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but the Lord’s purpose prevails.” When I meditate on these verses, I will plug my name in to make it more personal and ask God that His way for me always leads. In other words, I want to get out of His way. It is in our human nature to block things that are foreign or do not make sense. This is part of that fight-or-flight mode. Very few were raised with the notion of listening and hearing the voice of God, much less acting on it and dreaming the unthinkable dream. We are traditionally raised on having a backup plan (I will speak on this further in the book) and a safety net. Don’t take risks, understand the return on investment in every area of our life. To flip the script on this, we need to have trust, faith, and a whole lot of belief in our Provider.

I shared earlier that I have heard His calling before, and like many, I have shut it down. At this point in my life, I have decided it is time for me to flip the script “with God”. I will no longer live by someone else's rules. I am ready and willing to step into my “divine purpose” and into the person He has called me to be. I had already begun doing things profoundly different from the ways I was taught in raising my daughter and helping others but now it was time to apply this to rewrite my truth and take action!

This is when the how comes in. How do you flip the script? It begins with growing from the challenges, embracing the challenges and knowing the discoveries and lessons we make along the way are for our benefit. Remember, full surrender does not remove obstacles. Accepting the obstacle with gratitude and allowing God to carry us through actually strengthens us. 
Romans 5:3-4 says, “We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces character and character produces hope.” 
Romans 8:18 says, “I consider the sufferings of this present time not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed.”
Sounds crazy, right? How does letting God do the heavy lifting strengthen us? Picture this:anyone who has participated in or watched weightlifting exercises has witnessed the role of the spotter. The big guy standing above the person attached to those giant weights. He helps the individual complete the lifting exercise. Now, put your obstacle in place of the weights. The spotter in your life is God, ready to lift the weight with you, and more often than not, lift it for you. We just have to show up and ask. 

Today in my life, I have asked God to take over everything: my relationships, my health, my career, and even my finances. The finance piece is the hardest for most of us. The way we are taught and what is imprinted on us varies, however the common thread is that our finances can carry  a persona of its own, one that is the root of many other problems. As I sit and write this book, I recognize this is the part that I have tried to control the most and am releasing this now. I am letting go of fear and worry around this. Money has no power in it, and like so many, I have allowed it to consume my energy. Now with my new lenses, I have no fear, and I trust I will be able to deal with what comes my way. After all, I did relocate to one of the most expensive cities in the world. He put me here for a reason, and He will provide. I am now grateful for the things and events in my life, and I am positioned to a place of receiving instead of trying to force something to happen. I am learning how to be a good steward, ready to live in a place of gratitude and giving. I have lived in seasons of living paycheck to paycheck, and I don't want to live there anymore.God will only give what you can manage responsibly. I have invited Him to invade all areas of my life. Here in New York, I have said yes to the call to make a difference by being a beam of light! 

Now, how did I get here from there? From resistance to surrender…well, that has been quite a journey.

• Update #11 - Update time Sept. 15, 2024

  Hello All

  I apologize for my recent silence, but I wanted to take a moment to provide you with an update on the status of …

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• Update #10 - Final 14 Days for Presale of "God Made Me Sassy" - Share with Family and Friends! June 25, 2024

  Dear friends

  I hope this email finds you well. I am excited to share some exciting news with you! My book, "God Made Me Sassy," …

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• Update #9 - 10 more days June 19, 2024

  Hello My Friends!

  We are now counting down the final 10 days of the presales campaign for the captivating book, "God Made Me Sassy," before …

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• Update #8 - Here we go! June 12, 2024

  📚 Exciting Announcement! 📚

  Hey everyone! 🌟 I have some incredible news to share with you all. The presales period for my upcoming book "God …

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• Update #7 - The final countdown May 31, 2024

  We are in our last 39 days of pre-sales. I’m just at the halfway mark of number of books sold and need your help getting …

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• Update #6 - Getting there! May 13, 2024

  With each passing day I  am one step closer to my goal of 300 books sold!

  You have helped me get here... thank you for your …

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• Update #5 - 70 Days April 30, 2024

  Wow! Can you believe it? We're in the final sprint of our campaign, with only 70 days left for presales. This is an exhilarating moment …

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• Update #4 - Girl Scout Cookies!!! April 18, 2024

  Hello my friends ,

  Yes it is that time again, I remember those days as a Sunflower  Girl in Dallas and then years later , as a mother of …

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• Update #3 - Campaign extended April 10, 2024

  Hello my friends,

  As I said  I would keep you updated weekly with the status of this presale campaign. I am so thankful the orders keep coming in. …

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• Update #2 - Getting there April 1, 2024

  Happy Monday,

  Well I had to eat my dose of humble pie, with this I  am even more grateful to each and every one of you. …

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• Update #1 - Check in Feb. 19, 2024

  Good afternoon,

  Tech got the best of me. I promised weekly updates and realized I constructed my first one however I did not send. Someone taught …

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