Create Opportunity and Success Through Language and Psychology
"Mastering the Talk" is a guidebook for entrepreneurs and employees struggling to find their mojo in business & life to learning and leveraging language and psychology for successful opportunity.
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Dear Friends,
Let me start off with a heartfelt apology for not being in touch with some of you (even as I've spoken more than once with most of you) over the last 2 years. It's hard to believe it's been that long. I don't want to make any excuses, but rather, to make it up to each of you through greater transparency and regular updates, as well as chapter previews and the redemption of your respective bonuses.
With that said, I'm thrilled to announce that the book (the new title is, "Be Your Own Commander-In-Chief") will be out as an e-book in January 2021, and the hardcover will be out in March.
A bit about what's transpired in the last two years in my life. First of all, our daughter has Livia thankfully been in remission from cancer treatments that ended right before the campaign started. We had a son in March of this year. I started an award-winning HR consulting business. My coaching work has continued and grown.
And in the background of all this, I have been working like crazy to write and edit the book, as well as to find a great publisher. It's been a long and difficult journey, but I'm fortunate to have signed an agreement with Ideapress (http://www.ideapresspublishing.com/) to publish the book. They have put out fantastic books by several authors I respect a great deal, so I am excited to work with them to bring this to life! I've also been incredibly fortunate to work with an amazing developmental editor, Amanda Rooker, and likewise look forward to working with Smith Publicity to get the word out about the book.
As regards the actual writing, you've by now noticed that I changed its name from "Mastering the Talk To Master Your Life" to "Be Your Own Commander-in-Chief." Through Divine inspiration, about 18 months ago, I realized that the book I was writing was giving only 1/4 of the picture of the deep learnings I've had around using language and psychology to empower myself and others to live the best personal and professional life.
As such, I expanded the book to focus on 4 conversations: 1) Body, 2) Mind/Mental Models, 3) With Others and 4) with G-d/The Universe.
The outline is below, for your reference.
In the spirit of greater transparency, going forward, as well as to share some of the chapters with you before general release, I will be kindly asking for your frank feedback in regular messages before launch. With your help, I would love to spread the message of this book as far and as wide as possible to all my friends, networks and followers.
Please stay tuned for how and when to redeem your bonuses :)
Thanks again for your patience. It's been a huge boost to me throughout this crazy publishing journey to know that so many of you believe in me and my work. I promise not to disappoint you from here on.
Before I go, PLEASE REPLY TO THIS MESSAGE BY TELLING ME WHICH OF THE SUBJECTS IN THE OUTLINE YOU WANT TO LEARN MOST ABOUT! This way, I'll be able to share what you most want to learn, including some pre-recorded videos.
All the very best and Ill be in touch again soon.
Yuri
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Outline
I. Introduction - 4 Talks at once, creating a virtuous cycle.
i. Everything is Connected: 1. Design in nature - efficient flows of energy, information and other things in life and what happens when they're blocked or diverted.
ii. General Principles / Assumptions: 1. Going from more general to more specific; 2. When you have nothing else in this world, you have the ability to modulate your thoughts, speech and actions
II. Body -
i. Biorhythms / Homeostasis: 1. Learning and optimizing your own rhythms + changes with age; 2. Biofeedback; 3. Diagnosing Disease by listening to your body;
ii. Eating/Digestion: 1. Each body type has its own food preferences; 2. Simple, natural, naturally colorful ingredients, cooked fresh; 3. Best timing and order for food, hydration; 4. Portion sizes; 5. Gut Health <-> Brain health. Microbiome.
iii. Sleep Optimization: 1. how to optimize sleep timing, conditions, effects of sleep and lack thereof, mitigating damage, DNA effects of sleep-loss-related stress.
iv. Breathing: 1. 4/7/8 breathing technique, through the nose is best. Optimization techniques through yoga, tai chi, other disciplines.
v. Hygiene: 1. Teeth - floss, mouthwash, tongue scraper; 2. Airways - lungs; 3. Skin; 4. Dangers of anti-bacterial soap, bleach and other microbiome-destroying; substances. 5. Dangers of too frequent hygienic practice; 6. Digestive hygiene - how to cleanse the digestive tract;
vi. Physical Activity / Exercise: 1. Fascia - everything is connected. How to work them out effectively and regularly. 2. Simple, effective at-home exercises;
vii. Peak Performance; 1. Body - short rundown of how to achieve it, when it matters and when it doesn't; 2. Brain - how to enhance brain function naturally, without (undue) substances; 3. Developing Good Habits - scheduling, nudges, etc.;
viii. Immunity / Resistance to Disease: 1. Hygiene, Diet, Exercise, De-stressing, Sleep practices for boosting immunity naturally and effectively;
ix. Prevention;
x. Recovery / Curing Disease / Rehabilitation;
xi. Brain Health
III. Mind
i. Worldview:
1. Life Is Theater, Onstage and Off;
2. History: a. "History Doesn't Repeat Itself, But It Rhymes." ; b. The King Is Dead. Long Live The King!; c. Don't Get Fooled Again - A Word of Wisdom From The Who;
3. Culture: a. Eat! You're Too Skinny!; b. We're Not Yelling. We're Discussing!; c. Depression is For Rich People. d. I Never Forced You To Do That.
4. Biases - and how to use them to your advantage; a. List of biases and detailed discussion; b. The most high-value mental models to overcome biases;
5. Cause and Effect:
6. Managing Perceptions;
7. Dealing with Trauma;
8. Personality Diagnosis;
9. Circumstances / Luck / Success / Humility / Blessing;
ii. Time Management:
1. Get Off My Calendar: Calendar Management;
2. Get Off My Lawn: Saying No 9 out of 10 Times;
3. Time-boxing;
4. Themed Days;
iii. Organization:
1. Home;
2. Work;
3. Files;
4. Curating and Channeling Information Flows;
iv. Habits: 1. "How You Do One Thing Is How You Do Everything" - and when that's not true; 2. Making Decisions; 2. Values-driven habits; 3. Memory habits; 4. Productivity: a. Forcing Functions; 5. Managing and Automating Your Information Flows: a. Apps, Tools and Strategies;
v. Money: 1. Biggest Stressor => Biggest Priority to Fix ASAP; 2. [AR3] Around Money: a. How to reverse your negative scripts around money;
vi. Managing Expectations: 1. Your own expectations of yourself; 2. Others' expectations of you; ; 3. Your expectations of others; 4. "Carnegie Hall Syndrome"; 5. Learning not to give a damn about others' opinions;
vii. Managing Stress: 1. Reacting to Negativity: a. Putting Procrastination in Context; b. Leveraging Procrastination to Your Benefit; 2. Modulating Mood: a. Music; b. Physical activity; c. Nature + Natural Light; 3. Mental Health Checkup: a. Ridding yourself of shame/guilt; b. Assessing your mental health without stigma; 4. Developing Grit / Stoicism; 5. Designing Energy Outlets and Energy Flows;
viii. Solving Problems / Finding Solutions: 1. Research/Survey/Second Opinion. Answer usually "sitting on your nose."; 2. Create, Maintain and Consult Brain Trust - doctor, lawyer, financial advisor, rabbi, best friend, business advisor, life/career/business coach, etc.; 3. Always Know Your Rights in any situation - civil, criminal, ethical, moral, universal; 4. War gaming - explore scenarios, use logic, anticipate future problems and guard yourself against them. What could go wrong? What could go right? What are the known unknowns? What are the known knowns?; 5. De-risking - doing a check-up post-mortem and safe-guarding yourself and your family, business, etc. through de-risking.;
ix. Work/Career: 1. 4 Pillars + Finding Your "Zone of Genius" / Ikigai (worksheet) - Life Mission, Values, Outcomes and Role. Negative Scripts and Founding Stories. What You're Great At / What You Most Enjoy Doing / Where You Add Massive Value / What You'd Do With $1B if only required to do a 9-5 job.; 2. Personal + Professional Development Plan (template); 3. Becoming a Great Manager/Leader (worksheet); 4. Making Your Boss Happy; 5. Managing Your Career Effectively: a. Job Search Strategy; b. LinkedIN / Resume Optimization (Detailed Guide); c. Interview Prep (tools/resources); d. Starting Salary Negotiation (scripts); e. Getting Promoted / Paid More (scripts);
x. Business: 1. Start a Side Hustle First; 2. Ideal Client Profile + How to Filter for the right Vendors, Coaches, Employees, Investors, Employees; 3. Building a Brand: a. Telling Your Founder Story Effectively; b. Strategies and Tools; 4. Creating Your Own PR Machine; 5. Delegation/Automation/Outsourcing/Coaching - tools and strategies; 6. Becoming a Thought Leader - "How I Built This"; 7. Further Business Coaching Tools;
xi. Learning / Growth / Leveling Up; 1. Determine Your Primary, Secondary and Tertiary Learning Style; 2. Don't Fail / Always Be Iterating ; 3.Regularly Challenging Your Assumptions; 4. Creating and Managing Change; 5. Creativity / Brainstorming; 6. How to Unlock and Unleash Yourself; 7. Drift / Creep; 8. How to Create Opportunity and Capitalize On It;
xii. Mental Hygiene; 1. The Power of Doing Nothing Regularly - "Amish Time," R&R, Travel, Observation; 2. Sabbath / Weekly Day of Rest; 3. How Boredom Fuels Growth;
xiii. Aging and How Brain / Mood / Mental Health Change With Age; 1. Physiological Changes -> Life Outlook/Mood Changes; 2. What to Expect As You Age + How to Stay Ahead of (and Delay) Negative Changes.
IV. Conversation With Others;
i. Reciprocity: 1. Be a Mensch, never a Shmuck; 2. Love Every Fellow As Yourself, with a twist; 3. Gratitude in All Your Interactions; 4. Judging Others, Non-Judgmentally; 5. How Others Judge You; 6. Give Your Best Stuff Away / Be Open Source; 7. The World Is Round And Why That Matters;
ii. Setting Boundaries: 1. Integrity/Moral Fortitude/Trust 2. No Guilt / Shame / Pressure from Others; 3. Nothing to Lose When You're Your Best Self; 4. Filtering by Your 4 Pillars (Values); 5. How to Detect Psychopaths;
iii. Setting Goals; 1. Practicing Intentionality in Every Encounter; 2. Prep for Each Encounter/Meeting/Call; 3. Learning to be Per Se with Your Language and Psychology;
iv. Setting Expectations; 1. How to Understand Others' Motivations -- and Your Own; 2. Humility and the Desire to Help Others; 3. When You Or the Other Person Don't Meet Expectations - Forgive, Remedy, Learn, Iterate; 4. Learning From Each Person -- For the Good or Bad;
v. First Impressions; 1. Establishing Credibility -- Yours and Theirs -- Professional and Personal Brand; 2. Judging Others Favorably Up Front; 3. Good Manners / Timeliness / Appearance / Good Taste; 4. Body Language - Yours and Theirs; 5. Making Yourself Memorable - Humor / Signature Item; 6. Always Be Helpful;
vi. When Things Go Wrong: 1. When You've Made a Bad First Impression: a. Context, Humor, Forgiveness, Learning, Iteration; 2. When You're Late, Unprepared or Dealing With an Emergency; 3. When Others Are Angry; 4. Responding to Criticism; 5. How to Make a Second Impression That Trumps The First;
vii. Starting and Managing Relationships: 1. Healthy Relationship Mindset: a. Live and Let Live; b. Help In Any Way You Can; c. All Relationships Are At Will - Until They Aren't; 2. Interviewing: a. Pain Points; b. The 5 Why's; 2. Boss: a. How to Manage Up; 2. Mentor / Champion; 3. Family You're Born With: a. Mother, Father; b. Siblings; c. Grandparents; 3. Friendship: a. "Buy" a Friend, Don't "Rent" One; b. When to Rebuke; 4. Business Partner; a. Seeking Alignment on Mission, Vision, Values; b. Reflecting Alignment in Your Contract; 5. Employee; a. You're Serving Her, Not Vice Versa; 6. Customer - Marketing: a. Telling Your Story; b. Knowing Your Customer and Her Pain Points; c. Cadence, Forum, Touch Points; 7. Vendor: a. How to Do Effective Vendor Research; b. How to Gauge Alignment for the Long Term; 8. Investor: a. 360-degree View; b. This Money May Smell; 9. Child: a. The Responsibilities; b. Autonomy; c. Fun; 10. Thought Leaders - Cold Outreach: a. Go Where The Puck Will Be; 11. How to Ace Email: a. Scripts for Successful Outreach; 12. Follow-Up and Automation; a. Automation Tools and Scripts for Successful Follow-Up; 13. Relationship Pruning: a. When Enough Is Enough - and When It Isn't; b. Weekly, Monthly, Quarterly and Bi-yearly Reviews; c. Signal vs. Noise;
ix. The Magic -- and Madness -- of Marriage: 1. All Eggs (and Egos) In One Basket; 2. Project Management 101: a. The Green Elephant In The Room - Money; 3. Taste the Chocolates and Smell the Flowers; 4. Happy Wife, Happy Life; 5. Good Intimacy Does NOT Equal Good Sex; 6. How Kids Change You and Your Marriage; 7. If You Want To Be Loved, Focus on Being Your Best Self; 8. Grow Together or Grow Apart; 9. Us Kids Just Wanna Have Fun; 10. Keep The Mystery, Holmes;
x. Negotiation: 1. If You Don't Ask, The Answer Is Always No; 2. Banks, Vendors, Customer Service; 3. Salary Scripts and Guidelines; 4. Cultural Signs (See Sections i. - vi. above); 5. Look for Win-Win-Wins; 6. Making a Case For Your Project / Product / Investment; 7. Leveraging Outsider Status To Become an Insider;
xi. Collaborating Effectively: 1. Playing Nice With Others For Kinder Eggs; 2. 2-Pizza Rule; 3. Complementary Roles, Agile Teams; 4. Consulting Mindset; 5. Activating Each Team Member's "Zone of Genius"; 6. Project Manage Like a Boss; 7. Communication Channels - Open and Anonymous; 8. Transparency and Shooting the Sh*t; 9. Effective Decision-Making As a Group;
xii. Leading Others: 1. Lessons in Servant Leadership and Effective Management; a. Humility; b. Authenticity; b. Empowerment and Trust; c. Limits and Boundaries; 2. Over-communication; 3. Your Leadership Style;
xiii. Work / Career - Further Notes: 1. Creating Champions For Yourself At Work;
xiv. The Power of Contract: 1. The 10-year, $250,000 lesson - and why it was worth it; 2. Your Best Friend or Your Worst Enemy?; 3. Basics of Contracts; 4. Most Important Types of Contracts For You To Know;
IV. Speaking With G-d / The Universe:
i. Why Am I Here?: 1. Zone of Genius / 4 Pillars / Higher Purpose; 2. Why Me?; 3. Why Not Me?; 4. Special butterflies and Shakespeare's Monkeys: a. Why You're Utterly Unique, Horribly Banal -- and Truly Awesome; 5. Reclaiming Our Perfect Knowledge;
ii. Micro vs. Macro vs. Here and Now; 1. The Scale of Us; 2. Our Duty (To Improve Humanity); 3. Everything Is A Signal. Nothing Is Noise.;
iii. Think Global, Act Local: 1. Jokes (Aside); 2. The Hippocratic Oath for Non-Doctors; 3. Charity Starts at Home: a. "If you want to change the world, go home and love your family."; b. The Biggest Change in The World Starts With You; 4. The Power of a Smile; 5. How to Give of Yourself, When You Have "Nothing" to Give; 6. Paying It Forward; 7. Keep Your Customs;
iv. No Easy Answers, No Simple Path: 1. Learn From Every Man, For Good or For Bad (or Both); 2. What Works for One Family or Tribe May Not Work for Another; 3. Twelve Gates of Heaven - many different ways in; 4. Keep Your Own Customs;
iv. Practical Benefits of Faith: 1. Ethics; 2. Standards; 3. Structure Inside The Chaos; 4. Health and Welfare; 5. Family Time; 6. Community; 7. Celebrating Life; 8. Taking Stock, Correcting Course; 9. Prayers / Meditation; 10. Affirmations; 11. Solutions, Not Problems;
v. Superstition vs. Faith; 1. Slavery vs. Freedom; 2. Finding Freedom Within Limitation; 3. Pre-Destining Yourself For Luck, With a Little Help From Above;
vi. Free Will vs. Pre-Determination;
vii. Why Faith Matter Now, More Than Ever; 1. Historical, Economic Cycles - a Long View of History; 2. Decline (and Teetering) of Western Civilization; 3. Meaning and Purpose - for you, and you and you!
VI. Conclusion: i. Tying The Threads Together; ii. Go Forth and Conquer Yourself, Then The World!
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