Bottom of the Fourth: Jonathan, Hands Down!

My youth baseball league has a special needs league attached to it. In other words, in addition to the traditional youth baseball league, we also have between eight and ten teams every spring which have kids with special needs, such as kids who are deaf or with Down’s Syndrome. Those limitations do not diminish their love of the game. In fact, they are often as hard charging and competitive as any other set of players I have spent time with.

During my involvement with youth baseball, I coached four special needs teams, and those experiences are still some of my favorite memories of youth baseball. On those teams, there are about twelve kids on the team. Everybody gets to bat each inning. Everybody plays in the field each inning.  Each game is basically a t-ball game (where the ball is hit off of a tee as opposed to having a pitcher throw the ball). 

Every year, I had at least one player on my team in a wheelchair, and, every year, I had at least one (sometimes more) kids on my team who were simply unresponsive. I finished several seasons with some players on my team never saying a word to me.

Yet, despite this perceived lack of communication, these games represent some of my favorite youth baseball experiences.  I remember watching one of our players running (or in her case being pushed in a wheelchair) the bases during my first year of coaching. As she crossed the plate, she had such joy in her smile and giddiness in her laugh, I teared up (but no one noticed, so the tears really didn’t happen). These are memories that have stayed with me for years. They still make me smile.

Another amazing aspect of my special needs teams was the community involvement. With twelve players on a team, managing one of these teams was not a solo job. The players often needed personalized attention, and typically there were only two or three coaches. To ease that burden, local high school students volunteer to help the coaches. Each player on the team would be assigned one or two of these volunteers depending on the player’s level of independence. They are not completely altruistic; they do get volunteer hours for their college applications, but these kids always come with a good heart and endless enthusiasm. And we needed them.  On a team with about 12 to 15 players, we would need 20 to 30 highschoolers volunteering in order for things to go smoothly.

My last year coaching, my team was the Cardinals.  Interestingly, my assistant coach that year had a kid on the team. Now, many of the men and women from our league were very deeply involved with the special needs teams, but their involvement was typically completely independent of whether that person had a child who was playing in the league. 

This was not the case with the more traditional teams, and, in today’s world, I’m sure that many would be uncomfortable in a situation where the coach did not have some connection to some of the players on the team. Most of us did it because it was good community service, and then we figured out that it was also a great deal of fun.

Those Cardinals were like other teams where one of the kids had their dad coaching. As I mentioned in other chapters, dads focus perhaps too much on their own children, potentially ignoring the other kids on the team. That was not a problem when I was the head coach.  I had coached teams where I was the only adult coaching the team.  On those teams, I deputized several of the players to help me run the team.  It was a great learning experience and (more importantly) manageable (pun intended), but only when the kids were eleven or older. But being the only coach on this kind of team was a challenge, even with all of the high school volunteers.

I probably could have handled the situation, but there was another complication: Jonathan. Jonathan was about 6’ 2” tall and weighed about 220 pounds. A big boy at about 16 years old, Jonathan had some learning disabilities and was among those players who never really spoke to me even though we interacted a lot. Importantly though, he was a typical 16 year old boy with the same yearnings and desires that most boys of that age. 

This last point is important because of the aforementioned high school volunteers.  Typically each season began with an informal pairing up process between the volunteers and the players.  Most of the time, there was no real need for any of the coaches to be involved; things just worked out.   When it was time for Jonathan to pair up, the two who stepped forward were sisters about 12 and 14. Exactly who 16 year old boys like to spend time with.  

From across the field, I saw this and became concerned. I didn’t really think that Jonathan was a danger to anyone (and I still don’t) but he was physical and he was big and strong, and I didn’t him to do something unintended. So I suggested that the girls switch to another player, and when it was time for us to go out in the field, I went with Jonathan as his personal volunteer.

Throughout the game, the volunteers helped make the game more fun for everyone. For starters, they made sure the player didn't get hurt. They made sure that the player knew how to run the bases. They helped the player field the ball and then throw it while on defense. Most importantly, the volunteers kept the player company during the game. For both player and volunteer, it was a consistently rewarding experience.

The system works out really well when the player is a six year old and the volunteers are in high school.  Jonathan was a little bigger than that, so I ended up hanging with Jonathan for each game of the season. When Jonathan was in the field, I was next to him hanging out. I ran the bases with him. 

Unfortunately, Jonathan was an aggressive kid.  He would frequently put his hand in my face, and most often, he would do that after taking his hand out of his mouth.  He would occasionally pick his nose and then try to touch my face again.  One week, he brought a small rubber lizard to the game, which similarly went in my face after Jonathan had rubbed it in the infield dirt. With every step, he always had a smile on his face. Like so many other players, he was caught up in the joy of being on the baseball diamond.

At 5’7”, I came to think of that season as my weekly cage match with someone much bigger and much stronger than me. While I had guile on my side, I was clearly outmatched. Every once in a while, I would look to the stands at Jonathan’s parents, imploring with my eyes for assistance. After some time, I realized that this was just one hour of my week. The rest of the week was all them, and I might represent the only break that they would get.

By the end of the season, Jonathan and I had a well developed relationship. He never said a word to me, but after eight games, we understood each other and I was disappointed that the season was ending.  The only thing remaining was the team photo, scheduled for after the last game.

As we assembled the team for the photo, Jonathan was as active as ever.  Posing for the photo required all of us – coaches, volunteers, and players – to stand relatively close to each other. Knowing Jonathan well at this point, I made a point of standing next to him, in an effort to try to control him if necessary. Yet, even after eight weeks of practice, I remained overmatched.

Just as Jonathan began flailing his hands around, a small girl about ten, Jonathan’s sister, walked up from behind the photographer. In one fluid motion, she clapped her hands sternly said, “Jonathan, hands down!” In response, Jonathan lowered his arms to his side and stood up straight. Within a minute, the photographer had taken the picture, all without any extra movement from Jonathan. Of course, I had one thought in my head: why couldn’t someone have told me about “Jonathan, hands down!” two months ago, when I began my weekly wrestling match?

That was my last season coaching in the special needs league, so I never got a chance to use the new approach with Jonathan, but it did teach me an important lesson. Sometimes, even when you spend a lot of time with people, you don’t necessarily know how to communicate with them.

• Update #1 - Update on Musings on Youth Baseball! May 17, 2018
  
  

  I really appreciate the support from all of you. I am beginning to talk with publishers about the next steps, so I am focused on …

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