About the author

Social worker, yogi, meditator, mother, Caroline Richards birthed her four babies at home helped by the power of positive thinking. She has had articles published in Juno natural parenting magazine.

Additional authors

Katrina Caslake

Katrina is committed to providing the very best in maternity care, supporting the women she works with to birth as nature intended.

Katrina is an experienced midwife, offering the very best tailored, holistic approach to maternity care in your own home. Her approach is based on getting to know your midwife during pregnancy, birth and and beyond. Most important of all, she is friendly and caring, whatever kind of birth you have.

Chapter One

SO, YOU’RE PREGNANT
“A grand adventure is about to begin.” Winnie the Pooh

I remember being at a party when I was pregnant with my first daughter and women I had never met before came over to me, striking up conversations about motherhood, asking me about my pregnancy, and sharing their experiences. I couldn’t remember another time in my life where I had felt so welcomed. Regardless of culture or nationality, the common link of motherhood connects you with other mothers wherever you are in the world. It’s like a secret society that you didn’t know existed until you joined. So, welcome to the club!

When you did the pregnancy test and saw the positive result, you probably experienced all sorts of mixed feelings alongside the joy and excitement. This is the beginning of a completely new phase for you and your partner, who will soon be becoming a family. You may be starting to feel differently about every aspect of your life: your body, your work, your relationship with your partner, your relationships with your family and friends.  You may be thinking about when you’ll going back to work, how you’re going to care for your baby, maybe who’s going to care for your baby. Often, during pregnancy people either move house or undertake household renovations as they begin to think about the kind of home they want to bring their baby into, and focus on ‘nesting’.  Maybe your pregnancy is the result of years of trying, or you may have conceived quickly. Whichever way, it is likely to be rocking your world in more ways than one. During my pregnancies I felt an incredible sense of peace with myself in the knowledge that I was doing something vital, and important. Listen to your body and and do what you need to care for yourself. You are doing an extremely important job.
Pregnancy is traditionally divided up into three semesters, or phases. How we feel is going to be largely dependent on each of us as individuals, but below is a rough guide to each trimester and how you are likely to be feeling. If you have any concerns or worries, make sure you speak to your midwife or doctor.

First Trimester Weeks 1 – 12
This is the period where mind and body are acclimatizing to your new state. You may feel a tiredness like you’ve never experienced before, accompanied by an ability to drop off to sleep at any time, anywhere. You may feel sick or nauseous and possibly you’re even vomiting (‘morning sickness’ is a misnomer – it can happen any time). Your sense of smell and taste can become heightened at this time. It’s also the time you’ll be moving house, doing up a bathroom or some similar stressful household project. (It just seems to be how it goes.) Probably, you haven’t told many (if any) people, so along with all the changes happening to your body and emotions, you are carrying a secret laden with feelings of excitement, wonder, amazement, but also maybe fear, confusion, bewilderment and disbelief.
You’ll have your first scan round about 12 weeks, after which things may start to feel a little more real.

Second Trimester Weeks 13 - 25
It is during this part of the pregnancy that you will probably start to feel better on every level. It’s likely that the sickness will have passed and your energy levels should be higher although your body is still extremely busy creating your baby, so you may experience tiredness at times.  Your belly will probably be starting to look like a bump and everyone now knows you’re pregnant. You may feel like you’re starting to settle into your pregnancy and enjoy it. You may begin to feel small kicks and movements from your baby as they become more active. This phase of the pregnancy is sometimes known as ‘the honeymoon period’ but don’t worry if yours is not like that. Every woman, and every pregnancy is different.

Third Trimester Weeks 26 - 40
During the third trimester you will be starting to feel heavier and slower, and by the end you will be desperate to meet your baby and to get your body back! In addition to all the physical changes, your body will be producing a cocktail of hormones that affect your emotions. That, added to the huge change that is imminent, will mean that you really need to be on your own side during this time. You may feel distracted as it’s as if you are constantly having a conversation with someone who nobody else can see. Isn’t it awe inspiring that this miracle of life is happening inside your body? On the other hand, you might just feel like you’ve been taken over by an alien. Braxton Hicks ‘practice’ contractions can occur now,  when the muscles start tightening in preparation for labour. Later on you may find you are uncomfortable sleeping and that you have vivid dreams. You may feel hotter than usual with the extra blood pumping around your body. Your baby’s head will engage some time during these last few weeks, earlier with subsequent babies.

Whilst you are pregnant it is important to be fully aware of what it is you are doing: creating life! You have a little person inside you who is relying on you to care for them. This is a responsibility but also a privilege. Having a baby is not something that’s going to happen alongside your usual life. It is going to have a totally life-changing impact, and now, whilst you are pregnant, is a good time to start to think about how you want to bring your baby up, how he or she will fit into your life, how you can give them the best possible care and attention.   

THINGS TO DO

• Take some time every day to be with your baby, to sit, breathe deeply, and connect. Rub your belly, envisage what your baby looks like, how she or he feels, and really get to know each other.
  
• Start thinking about the kind of mother you would like to be, the kind of parents you and your partner would like to be. This may change when the reality of caring for a baby hits, but it is still useful to have thought through your basic philosophy. Here are a few examples to consider:
  

Feeding to a schedule or feeding on demand? Breast or bottle?

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Chapter Three
PREPARE YOURSELF
“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity” Unknown

Assuming you have now decided that a natural birth is the choice for you, let’s talk about preparation. Like any ‘labour’ be it running in a race or taking an academic test, successfully birthing naturally takes preparation, and this can start as soon as you have conceived, or even before, in a number of ways. Of course, birth being what it is, it is never totally predictable and sometimes other plans will be in store for you. But, whatever happens, the planning and preparation that will have gone into your natural birth will assist you in remaining calm, healthy and focused regardless of the end result. I start here with a ‘3 pledge promise’ to yourself which I ask you to sign and commit to throughout your pregnancy and beyond.

The Three Pledge Promise of the Pregnant Mother
1. I will honour myself and my body whilst I am pregnant, and beyond.
Whilst you are pregnant you are (generally) carrying on with your former life, initially with no outside evidence of any changes. However, inside you will be a maelstrom of different emotions and experiences as you deal with the life coming into being inside you. Not only are you continuing with your life at hand, you are creating another little being.
When you are pregnant you need to pamper yourself and honour yourself more than ever before. I have a ‘yummy list’ which lists all the treats which make me feel nurtured and warm and gorgeous. I make sure I do at least one of these a day. For example, start the day with meditation or yoga then give yourself an all over body massage followed by a warm shower, put on a few drops of scent and face the day on top of the world. Honour your emotions by acknowledging them, allowing them and being kind to yourself, whatever you may be feeling. All sorts of things come up when you are pregnant. During my final pregnancy I felt extremely frustrated at how slow I became and how I couldn’t participate so physically with the other children. However, I had to learn to accept this and bring them along at my pace. Use your pregnancy to build faith in yourself and your body. Indulge yourself in whatever makes you good,  in body, mind and spirit.

2. I will focus only on positive birth stories.
As soon as anyone knows you are pregnant, they will be desperate to tell you their birth story.
Unfortunately, most of these will be negative. For some reason, it is not usual for people to talk about their positive experiences, unless you really ask. When I was 12 weeks pregnant with my first baby (a very sensitive time) I met up with 3 women who already each had 2 children. I had already decided to have a natural home birth and told them so when they asked where I was having the baby. I was completely ridiculed as they proceeded to tell me all the horrific and gory details of their births in hospital.  It was a sorely upsetting experience and I decided there and then to seek out stories of positive births and women who would support my decision. Another friend, shortly after this,  lent me her copy of Ina May Gaskin’s ‘Stories of Childbirth’ and I immersed myself in positive stories of uplifting, inspiring births. So, avoid people who are negative about your choices, or if they are unavoidable, simply do not discuss it with them – take strength in your decision. If anyone does begin to tell you a horror story tell them, thank you, but no, I don’t want to hear it. Fill your mind with positive images and talk to others who you think will be positive and supportive too.

3. I will take charge of my birth experience.
The Law of Attraction, simply put, goes like this: in life we get what we focus on. So, focus on misery and negativity, and, guess what, your life will be miserable and negative. Focus on the positive potential and this is where life takes you. Most of all, tune in to the calming ‘self’ within  by stopping, breathing and noticing with mindfulness, what’s going on inside. When I say ‘I will take charge of my birth experience’ I emphasize the ‘my’. It is your opportunity to really listen to yourself and what you want, regardless of prevailing culture or what your friends and family believe. It is a major point in your life, where you bring another being into this world through your body, and begin the journey of parenting that child. Consider the birth plan in the Appendix. Add to it. Draw on it. Create it as yours. Then visualise your baby arriving as you have planned. Communicate your plan to your birth partner(s). Most of all enjoy the experience of pregnancy and birth. It may only happen once or only a very few times in your life and you are honoured to be able to do it.

THINGS TO DO

• Sign and commit to your Three Pledge Promise at the end of the book
  
• Draw up a ‘yummy list’ and enjoy!
  
• Start to think about your birth and visualise how you would like it to be

• Update #1 - My Book: Fantastic News Sept. 6, 2017

  Dear Friends and Supporters, 

  I am absolutely thrilled to be able to tell you that my book has been accepted by the American publisher, Motivational …

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