Synopsis

Scorned, Torn and Reborn is written for women who are undergoing a divorce that has been initiated by their husbands. It is empathy, but not sympathy; understanding, but not enabling. It is looking back only to learn to move forward with integrity and confidence. The book is based on the author’s own experiences and insights coupled with hundreds of hours of conversations with friends, interviews with professionals, and other research. The book’s purpose is to help women in this group work through the changes that are occurring in their lives with dignity and grace. The goal is to come out on the other side of the transition whole and ready to embrace life and happiness.  

Scorned, Torn, and Reborn is divided into three distinct sections. In the first section, the author begins with guidance and support for the raw emotions the reader may be experiencing after having learned that her marriage is ending. She discusses the five stages of grief as they pertain to the loss of a marriage. The various aspects of betrayal are examined, and how to work through them. The author uses her life coaching skills to advise the reader on ways to start rebuilding lost self-esteem. She addresses the negative aspects that chip away at one’s self-image and how to recognize and combat them. She encourages the reader to incorporate gratitude and acknowledgment of her achievements and abilities into her daily life. The need for self-care, for protecting physical health, is discussed in detail – through adequate sleep, proper nutrition, regular exercise, mental health maintenance, staying connected with people, journaling, laughing, and improving spiritual health through avenues such as yoga and meditation.

The second section addresses the practical aspects of the divorce process, giving advice for legal and financial representation and other professional services that can help make the divorce go more smoothly and save the reader money. There is discussion on dividing households to make a new home, supporting the children through the changes, as well as tips for effectively communicating with the estranged husband to establish a cooperative relationship. The nature of this relationship is emphasized throughout the entire book as essential to the process of moving forward. This section also leads the reader in finding support from friends and family, dealing with loneliness, and recognizing some social changes that naturally come with divorce.

The final section of the book focuses on finding closure and moving forward and the importance of establishing co-parenting strategies. It also covers the various aspects of dating, including how to know when to start dating again and insights on online dating. The author leaves the reader with encouragement to experiment and try new activities and experiences to find what she truly wants out of life so that she can start building that future and achieve lasting happiness.