Paintings, writings and poetry that helped me to piece together Hope.
||Las Vegas, Nevada
||0 publishers interested
"Authentic Forms of Art that Stem from the Trials and Tribulations within my HeArt.”
I realize I have an Idea worth spreading, from my human experience of Shhh..Ame to understanding the meaning of my heART. It makes us all vulnerable to tell our stories and it is easier to wear a suit of armor to cover our scars.
It is an Easy Journey to Self Doubt.
My insides are sick of feeling I am never enough. Who is to blame? Why is that language instilled inside of me? The Source of my behavior of nEver being enough. Wounding stems from the knowledge of being hurt and open to attack or damage. Scars have meaning and stories to tell but do we ever allow them to fully heal?
I was desperate for answers of self identify and personal happiness to create a miraculous transformation. I committed to Change and had A Spiritual Awakening.
I hope my Story of Self discovery will help benefit others who are also searching for their Happiness. To Drop old habits and Embrace new paradigms of Living and Acceptance.
I recall my struggles and am grateful for my determination and focus on courage and now I find strength in other people’s eyes and know that I am nEver a victim. Forgiving gives new paths for your own life in order to change course for our kids. We should come together when we are torn at our senses, to create a community of compassion for those seeking help. Being raised to live wholeheartedly. It is human nature to remember traumatic and painful occurrences in our life.
I have Remembered and Accepted my past and it was ALL A Beautiful EVOLution back to the Source, Love.
I began writing this book in September of 2013 for my two young sons, Holten and Davis. I needed a way to vent and bring alive events that had occurred and were still affecting my life. I found it to be My Therapy. Painting, writing how I felt daily, poems and photos of my life helped me to piece together my Hope.
It is easy to look at someOne like me and think that I probably have a simple and nice life. I definitely do Now.
I want to be an example of a woman, mother, friend, lover and human. I have been many labels but those were not ones that I carried in my past. I was a sexually abused child, cult member, a suicital teen, a meth addict, a depressed adult, lost a fiance/best friend to addiction, a PTSD patient, a criminal, a Mental Health care patient, a fraud, and a manipulator.
Who would have Guessed?
To admit ALL this is embarrassing, essentially spilling my guts and being left completely exposed and vulnerable to my past. The reason I know that I have to speak out about my Journey is because I want to show that no matter what happens to you in YOUR past, IT will nEver determine who yoU are Now.
I am Now A Free Woman, Artist, Painter, Poet, Model, Friend, Daughter, Sister and Mother.
My Journey to these Titles all began to form when I started my Journey from Tacoma, Washington to Las Vegas, Nevada at the age of 17. I had attempted to overdose on pills a few months after my Uncle had shot himself in front of my family on January 1, 2000. I had graduated high school at 15, had two jobs, going to college and was depressed. I didn't die so I Ran Away, I forced myself to forget that prior Life.
The funny thing is, Is that You can nEver get Away from it.
I realize that My past was just a blue print for my Life. Recognizing the things that my foundation were never built upon, until I Made a conscience Change. New paths to Love, Commitment, Loyalty, Determination, Family, Faith and Vulnerability. Being an ExAmple for my Two Sons. To show a new Generation of Men, what A Strong Loving Woman Looks like. Embracing being Vulnerably, Honest, Kind, Compassionate, Genuine, Soft and Natural. Giving back and Never Expecting but Appreciating Life and being ThANKful for it All.
I hope that My book is an example of the things you can accomplish in your own life. Finding yourself through your passion. Being an open, kind, and caring individual to all who enter into your life.
We all have Additions. I turned my addictions into therapy, to obsess over things that I can control and create. Freeing myself fully into painting, writing, learning, improving and cultivating myself daily. We each have things that excite and bring us joy, find them for yourself every single day.
Yesterday was a Gift. Today is a Miracle. Tomorrow is a Dream.
Table of Contents
Introduction- Hope that my Journey will inspire you to live in your Own.
A Beautiful EVOLution- The Love of my Life is Gone.
Truth- I GAVE up everything about my Life. I Ran Away.
Vision- A New Start to a New Life, ONE Free from Religion, Abuse, Judgement and Seclusion.
Choice- The BIGGEST Question in LIFE. Why AM I HER.e-ARTh?
HeART- Art from my Her-Art.Gallery.
Hope- Set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in Faith and in purity.
Faith- Y'Our DREAMS become Your Reality.
Dreams- I LOVE’D and Now I LIVE for Them.
D’ LOVE* POEMS- Poetry and literature written by David L. Petrucci.
As women our deepest Passions spring from our deepest wounds. I transformed my wound into a source of healing. I want to be a beacon of hope for any child, girl, woman, mother, sister and human who is seeking for a fulfilling life. To be able to fully step into your full expression in this space in the world. I want to inspire the Power that is suppressed in woman in our society. As a thriving mother I care about so many of the issues that we all face day to day but are afraid to show otHers.
I am the face of sexual abuse, depression, suicide, drug addiction, postpartum depression, PTSD, social anxiety, low self esteem and stress. By stepping into the light of these titles I feel We become alliances in Life, who doesn't love anotHER who speaks their Truth.
Being a human is hard. Being a woman is difficult. Being a mother is overwhelming. Why can we not Just BEe? Bees work United, Together in Creating a Hive where they Strive in producing an Amazing Nourishing Community. Mother Nature is Beautiful, like us mothers, it is in our nature to Nurture. So let Us Support, give compassion and unlimited amount to those who need our empathy.
As a single mother of two boy under the age of 3, I strived for a better life for my children. In 2015, I had no vehicle, my home was in foreclosure, had no partner, lost friends and family support, going to court to get custody of my children and made $6,000 that year in income. I would cry daily, in shock that this is what my life had diminished into. I was ashamed, but knew that this had to be for a Reason. I continued daily to paint, write, meditate and pray. I began to be honest to the friends who were still in my life and what happened was a Miracle. Close friends allowed me to use their extra vehicle, my home got approved for a sale, I reunited with my parents, got custody of my children, met new positive friends who support my art and book. Looking back at my journals, I would express my heart aches but always tried to see the positive. Thank god that I did, My Life is now Unrecognizable from just a year ago. I believe that anyone can transform themselves by their decisions and know the Out come will be a Dream.
Only 12 percent of female rape victims were assaulted when they were 10 or younger, but almost half of female victims said they had been raped before they turned 18. About 80 percent of rape victims reported that they had been raped before age 25.
It sucks to be a statistic. But I feel comfort in knowing that I AM NOT alONE.
“That almost ONE in five women have been raped in their lifetime is very striking and, I think, will be surprising to a lot of people,” said Linda C. Degutis, director of the National Center for Injury Prevention and Control at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. December 14, 2011
What are the results from sexual abuse or trauma?
Depression- There are many emotional and psychological reactions that victims of rape and sexual assault can experience. One of the most common of these is depression.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder- After a traumatic event, it is typical to have feelings of anxiety, stress, or fear, making it difficult to adjust or cope for some time afterwards.
Flashbacks- During a flashback, memories of past traumas feel as if they are taking place in the current moment.
My Book is First Hand PROOF of being a Survivor of Sexual Abuse.
My book is made up from My Journals. The 16 year old teen in ME that is feeling Depression, the 30 year old PTSD mother in ME that is in A Mental Health Care Hospital who relives Flashbacks as a 6 year old who has just been sexually traumatized. I realize that by Suppressing my memory and emotional pain I was unable to help my future or children, being able to be open and talk about the bad memories allowed me to reconnect with people. When I am in service of others I am fully serving my purpose and serving myself. In turn I have found an abundance from A Source that enables me to help others. Connecting with people on a Meaningful emotional level is the Meaning of Life.
I hope my book provides you with Hope in humanity and in yourself.
By supporting my book, you will be giving back to local Las Vegas foundations that provide support to children, mothers and women in need.
Throughout Annie's childhood, Art was always a safe place to express her emotions, thoughts, dreams and desires. Her parents owned a ceramic shop in Tacoma, Washington and she spent her entire childhood painting and teaching others to express how they felt thru the beauty of Art. After an attempted suicide at 17, Annie moved to Las Vegas, Nevada to create a new start. She met the Love of her Life at 19 and at 25 tragically lost him. She went on to have two sons, but in 2013 after the birth of her second son, she felt empty and loss again. Annie began to paint, write and express all the pain and shame she had been holding on to inside. Emotions and Secrets that she never ALLowed out, came flooding from her fingertips onto her canvas and computer. What she created was A Beautiful EVOLution: Overcoming Adversity through Art. Her Journey of Honesty, Truth, Love, Devotion and a Passion for her Purpose.
Upcoming Events with Me:
February 7-9, 2017- Amsterdam ISE Show
February 2017- Las Vegas, NV- Television Interview introducing my Book to Las Vegas, with Amazing host Lisa Song on "Live with Lisa".
March 30, 2017- Las Vegas, NV- Corks and Forks Charity Auction benefiting Planned Parenthood. Auctioning Signed copy of Beautiful Evolution and Custom Oil Painting.
March 31, 2017- Anaheim, CA- Black and White Ball Annual Fundraiser benefiting WTLC- is a non-profit organization that is dedicated to help individuals and families escape the depths of domestic violence and exploitation. I am honored to be donating a Signed copy of A Beautiful Evolution and Custom Painting.
May 31 – June 2, 2017- New York, NY- BookExpo 2017 with Lifestyle Entrepreneur Press
I had the pleasure in meeting Author Katie Soy last year and our connection is Undeniable. Katie writes fiction thrillers based on the life of A Woman named Annie, from Seattle who is sexually abused and dives deep into her dark past.
Does that story sound fimiliar?
Meeting Katie silitified the meaning of Destiny and Miracles for Me. Not only does she physically describe me to a T, she somehow knows my story. When I met her, she said she knew that I was the woman she has been writing about. Please support her book, she is also featured on Publishizer. If you want to know the deeper truth to my story, read her amazing series, The Fenix Project.