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Michael Polling

Michael Polling

Canary Islands, Spain

Michael Polling, a former music critic, started studying tantra after a burn-out in 2000. As a sex and intimacy coach, he helps people reclaim their sexuality and transform their lives.

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About the author

Sexuality has always been a firm base in my life. This has become even more so in recent years, as different forms of sexuality, often surprisingly (and sometimes confusingly), have seen to intertwine between my profession as a tantric healer and my private life.

My first steps towards embracing my sexuality, long ago, were merely based on lust and curiosity; quickly combined with great admiration and deep respect for the feminine.

In recent decades, since Tantra, in general, has deliberately taken a central role in my life, lust plays a much smaller role. I have experienced, how the awareness of the search for a deeper and more spiritual way to join and merge with another person, not only is more important, but also is much, much more satisfying.

Overall, it can be said that our core being consists of sexual energy. Without it, we would be dead; but the flow of sexual energy should never necessarily only lead to the sexual act.
I am well aware of the sometimes huge differences in perception between men and women about sexual intimacy and the very impact that this can have on a sexual connection.

In my “Autobiography of a lingam”, I have given my genitals all the necessary space to tell their part of the story. In this book, my lingam – my penis – tells about how he experiences himself in my life.

It is his story, uncensored. It is certainly not a list of adventures and conquests – which, as I am no Don Juan, would not be that interesting all together.

"I wish I can share it with my son but he will be angry with me because I am his mother...

It is fascinating and erotic but definitely not vulgar...
And I laughed about the toilet paper left in the yoni. That is me always in a hurry at work... :) :) 

I don't know what happened. I read the chapter on transcendental sex and I am really turned on." (X.,  South Africa)

“’Autobiography of a lingam’ is such a book that you leave behind in a slight disorder. And that is a merit. Michael Polling is free to let his lingam (dick, cock, prick, willy, joystick and/or penis) tell. This results in a very original, refreshing book with an honest, vulnerable and authentic story about love, eroticism, man- being and tantra. Those expecting exciting erotic adventures are luckily deceived. Michaels lingam speaks without hesitation about highlights, lows, doubts, uncertainties, successes, and desires during the search of his owner. That is why Michael's vision of men, women, and spirituality is intertwined. The book is easy to write and read.” (Joost Horsten, The Netherlands)

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Autobiography of a Lingam sold 1 pre-order by March 11, 2018, was pitched to 21 publishers, and is in discussions with publishers.

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Autobiography of a Lingam

- dick, cock, prick, willy, joystick and/or penis (a path towards sexual awareness)

This autobiography is the very first about the male genitals, narrated from the perspective of the author's own lingam. Covering topics as love, sexuality, tantra, personal development, awareness and spirituality.

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Self-Help Sexuality, love, Tantra, personal development, awareness
31,700 words
100% complete
4 publishers interested


This is no ordinary autobiography. It's the very first about the male genitals, narrated from the perspective of the author's own lingam. It's an unusual book, neither fiction nor faction, but something in between – covering topics as love, sexuality, Tantra, personal development, consciousness, and spirituality.

His story shows that sexuality can be something different, more profound and intense, than what many people experience in their daily love life. Sex is beautiful and can provide the deepest connection with someone else. Yet, we don't learn anything about it at school, but only later in life. And then, still only in patches, subject to our environment or the people we meet. It's difficult to come across a partner with the skills and knowledge to help us really experience sexuality on a different level.
This book somehow tries to make up for that loss and bring out the best in each other and in yourself. There is no shame in owning and enjoying your own sexuality, and this message is one that is central to this book.

Since the new millennium, Michael Polling has immersed himself in Tantra and Taoism. In Growing through Connection, his centre for Tantric awareness & healing, he accompanies couples and singles in retreats at La Palma, Canary Islands. He helps them to reconnect with their love, by releasing unnecessary emotional burden, allowing them to be again their genuine beautiful self, grounded in love and self-acceptance.

"It is clear that Michael Polling has walked a long road from sexual ignorance, to becoming a man and teacher greatly committed to offering sexual healing to those he works with. His unconditional acceptance of his own sexuality and that of others is a vital component in the healing work that he offers. (...)
What speaks loudest above all in Michael’s book, is the profound connection he makes between sexuality and love. He rightly conveys that heightened, transcendent, healing sexuality happens in the present moment when LOVE infuses the energetic transmission between lovers, filling their bodies, hearts, and souls with the amrita of the Gods…revealing us mere mortals to be the divine expressions of LOVE MANIFESTED that we truly are."

-Tina M. Benson, M.A., author of, “A Woman Unto Herself: A Different Kind of Love Story”, “Soulwhisperings: Erotic and Devotional Love Poems for an Outer or Inner Beloved”, and many others.

"How can you, as a woman, write about something that is such a male experience? (..)

Once I had started translating the first chapters, I noticed a distinct shift in my energy. I felt a connection to Michael's lingam, and knew that I was becoming his voice. This was a beautiful experience, teaching me to be aware of the male energy, and more conscious than ever before of when I moved between my male and female energy.

The process of translating this book has been powerful for me, as I have become intimate with the thinking/feeling experience of the lingam. This has helped me have more compassion for the lingams in my life, and the men attached to them. Translating the book has given me an unexpected, behind the scenes, glimpse into the intimacies of aspects of the male experience that is usually hidden to women."

-Sally Edwards, co-translator of ‘Autobiography Of A Lingam’, author, educational consultant ("Changing how education works - helping teachers reach their full potential").


After reading the manuscript Jayson Gaddis, the famous American relationship coach, wrote: “Michael Polling's ‘Autobiography of a Lingam’ goes deep into the male psyche in a creative, edgy, and confronting way. If you want to understand a man's inner sexual world, his demons, his beauty, and his darkness, then this book will be helpful on your path to sexual expression and healing."
It was Gaddis’ own ‘Letter to my c_ck‘, an article published on the internet, in which he, among other things, apologizes for his past behavior towards his c_ck, abusing him and not taking him seriously at all, which made me reconsider how my own c_ck had experienced my attention over the years. Gaddis’ letter gave me the inspiration, and audacity, to really ‘listen’ to what he, my c_ck, would want me to know about his experiences.
What began as a short commentary, became a whole book. First published in The Netherlands, in Dutch, now translated in English.

And, yes, my lingam, as I prefer directing more lovingly my c_ock, had (and still has) so many things to say, that he surprised me more than once. In the end, we, my lingam and I, wrote this book with the aim of improving the male/female-relationship - at both sides. Sexual love in all its vulnerability and intimacy can be the most beautiful and greatest in a lifetime. For men and women.
This book is certainly not meant to excite. It has nothing to do with pornography, although eroticism, the experience of the erotic, the sexual, overall surely plays a central role. And, although this book is primarily written from a heterosexual point of view, in essence, it can be read by anyone, homosexuals, transgenders, asexuals, etc. Its main message is about the connection, someone can and/or may have with his or her genitals – and through them with the other, and even with the whole world."


Preface – by Tina M. Benson
Prologue – from Michael's point of view
My early years
How Michael lost all confidence in men
Michael and me ... me and Michael
Losing my virginity
Small, smaller, smallest – big, bigger, biggest
Pissed off with Michael
Tantric awakening – to ejaculate or not
Blow jobs and hand jobs
The perfect yoni
Too excited too quickly
Looking outwards towards the rest of the world
Me, Michael, and other lingams
Embarrassing moments
Sacred (and healing) sexuality
Transcendental sex
My ultimate fantasy
And..., what now?
Everything changes
What is it that makes Michael a real man?
Epilogue – from Michael's point of view
Epilogue – from the translator’s point of view
About the author


I have written this book, not only for men, people with a lingam like me, but also for women, willing to know more about the various processes involved between men and women concerning matters of love, sexuality, spirituality and awareness.

Men, surely, may relate to (some of) my lingam’s experiences. But it also may appeal to women, if only they wish to understand male sexuality a bit more.
As Tina M. Benson, who wrote the introduction to our book, stated: “As a woman reader, it was a refreshing experience to be allowed in on the private thoughts of a man’s lingam, and to hear from its perspective what life is like. I’ve often said I would want to live life as a man, for at least a year, to experience what having a lingam is like, what it feels like to make love to a woman with a lingam, and to walk about the world in a man’s body. This is likely the closest us women will ever come to experiencing that great mystery.”


The author already has an established and growing platform with a 1.5K plus newsletter list, and over 2600 FB connections. The author plans to use FB to promote the launch of this campaign. FB groups about sexuality, tantra, love, spirituality, consciousness, men, women, etc., not only in English, but also in Dutch and Spanish, all with large followings with active members, fitting the audience of  this book.


Yes, I know, it’s not accepted to say, there is no competition. But the reality is, there are no books like this. Not one.

There are many books about sexuality and Tantra, and some about (the facts of) the male sexual organ. The only books that come in the neighborhood of my book, are Michaela Riedl’s and Jürgen Becker’s ‘Lingam Massage, Awakening Male Sexual Energy’, books dealing with male sexuality by Mantak Chia, and Alberto Moravia’s novel ‘Him and me’ (1971), about a hilariously funny dialogue between a man and his penis.

My book has a very different approach. First: it is not fiction. And second: it isn’t a technical outline for a better sex life (although your sex life certainly may improve by reading my book). Instead, it’s a very intimate account of a path of personal development into a more conscious and spiritual form of sexuality – uniquely told from the perspective of my lingam in this book.

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The potential to be violent resides in everyone, and is a basic human characteristic, much the same as we can be by nature loving and kind.

Michael once said, “Everyone is a rapist, has at some point done it, or still has to do it someday”. This apparently stark comment refers to the cycles of birth and re-birth that he believes everyone goes through. In this instance, women have been at some point in their past life stories a man, and men have been women – and therefore – everyone has had the opportunity to be a rapist, or to have been raped – at some point during their consecutive life experiences.

Rape is seen as primarily a crime of sexual violence. It could be seen as nothing more than one person asserting his will over another, with the event having little to do with sex. Sex, in this case, being the tool that is used to create a situation, in which power is abused.

Michael is not a rapist, I am sure of this. His first life partner, with whom he lived for a long time, nonetheless alleged that he had once raped her. Michael did not want to believe her, not even when she told him about a lovemaking-session they had in their mid-twenties. Indeed, they had been making love, and I had penetrated her at a certain point. But he did not remember hearing her say no – or given any signal that she was not willing for him to receive me. How could this then be rape?

Many years later, however, he realized that his girlfriend had been right. Even though they were making love, and even though it might have been clear in those early days of his sexual awareness, that penetration was always an obvious part of lovemaking – he suddenly recognized that he, nor any man, should not ever take this supposedly obvious progression of events for granted. He understood he could never assume that his female partner is ready just because he was. He had gone too far, without her explicit consent – and his former girlfriend had been right – he had raped her.

Actually, and this is not intended as an excuse for the above – she had raped us too, although I do not remember if it was before or after, but most probably before. And yes! Women, they really can rape men. There are so many ways, in which rape can occur. The Australian film director, Ana Kokkinos, made a film in 2006 – ‘The Book of Revelation’. Her movie is about a male ballet dancer, who is kidnapped, raped, and seriously abused during a whole week by a group of masked women.

Michael was raped early in his relationship with his first life partner. It began after they had spent the day at the beach. He'd had too much sun, and had been terribly burnt. Once at home he went to bed with a fever, feeling dreadful. His girlfriend wanted to have sex, and made that very clear. Michael said an even so clear NO. She did not want to hear him and started to stroke and play with me.

I was much weaker in those days, and responded to the attention by quickly getting hard and big. Before I knew it, she had mounted me and was pleasuring herself until she had had enough.

I do not remember if I climaxed, or if Michael and I had any pleasure from the experience. Later when Michael felt better, he complained to her about her actions – and even mentioned to his girlfriend the word rape.

Her response was to say, “I have been holding myself back all day on the beach – I did not want to wait any longer”. And pointing to me, she said, “And anyway, I did not see him complaining."

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