Synopsis

There is a problem in the church world today called the lack of forgiveness. In the digital age we live in, communication is king, yet we promote actions that shove things under the rug causing future problems and grudges for the congregation. For some, forgiveness is simply trying to overcome what someone has done or said to them. For others, forgiveness is a foreign word that has no meaning in their life. Yet both of these people attend church regularly and most of the time are given positions of leadership.

Forced To Forgive shares the psychological, spiritual, and physical ramifications that a lack of forgiveness has in our community, our church, and our minds. This book will share the foundational principles from the Bible which simply shares the fact that Jesus forgave us, so we should be forced to forgive others as Christ did us. However, the book will also address problems of going through a healthy progression of forgiveness, how they should participate according to God's Word, and what is expected of them during this process. The book will share biological and mental aspects of how forgiving (or not forgiving) impacts your mind and body. The book will also cover what to do/expect if you are the person who needs to ask for forgiveness as well. I want to cover all aspects of forgiveness in Forced To Forgive: A Christian Lifestyle In A Hate-Filled World

Read a portion from this chapter in my book:

Chapter 4: The Steps To Forgiveness

Romans 12:19 “Vengeance is mine…”

Everyone knows that Scripture. I purposely left the rest out because most people only think about this verse in these terms. We like to have the power to retaliate in our hands. Don’t get me wrong, when someone does you dirty or affects your life in some negative way, thinking about getting vengeance on the person is a past time most of us have participated in.

As I have already mentioned, you constantly think about the person who committed the act against you and you think about dastardly things you could muster up against them. Sometimes you may find relief in the hopes that this person feels the exact same way you do; disappointed, hurt, stressed, angry, etc. However, you know you should never wish anything like this on another human.

But there are steps to forgiveness a Christian has to go through before they can totally remove the situation from their life.

Think of it as the five stages of grief. There has to be a mental component where your brain graduates from one step to the next until you finally realize your life can go on. It’s a healing process for your mind and body and, while this is a Christian book, there are still steps you need to be taking in order to forgive the agitator so you can move on with your life.

There are many different theories for the stages of forgiveness5 but I want to share some of my own theories about how you can overcome the obstacle standing in your way and still live a Christian life consistently.
#1. Identify Your Struggle To Forgive
Many times when someone does something which hurts you, you tend to create personas for yourself in which you think people see.

What I’m talking about is getting hurt can lead to lower self esteem and cause you to question why someone would do something this hurtful to you. In essence, you create a pity party for your situation and grab as many people on your side as you possibly can. This is the mind’s reaction to the hurt and it helps in boosting confidence in your own self.

When something happens, you tend to put yourself down and possibly put the other person in a higher standard. Since they did what they did to you, they must have a good reason. Or possibly they could be right and you were wrong. Also, if one person feels this way is it possible more people feel this way about you too? It still hurts. Therefore, you create a downgraded opinion of yourself and you cannot possibly forgive the person because of the way they made you feel.

Another identifier is guilt. What if all of this is your fault?

While you try to do the best you can do, and be the best person you can be, perhaps you made a mistake? Is this why all of these situations evolved in the first place? What if everything that is happening to you right now is because of something you did, or prompted?

Guilt brings about a spirit of fear and it clouds your mind to possible outcomes which could be positive in your life. It also makes you begin second guessing yourself and the decisions you make.

You need to identify why you cannot forgive the person in question. Usually the answer points right back at you. If you had only done it a certain way this situation would have never happened, or if you hadn’t said what you did three months ago they would have never approached you like they did. Maybe they didn’t even approach you. Maybe they said it to everybody, but you. Talk about embarrassing and humiliating. Perhaps it was an attack on your integrity, ego, or humanity.

I have felt that attack before. It’s not a pleasant thing to go through. Especially with people in your life that you thought would never do or say anything like what they actually said. Why would they do this? I thought we were all on the same team? Essentially, they have their own problems and flesh fights as well. Clearly, they were losing the battle during all of these shenanigans.

Through all of this you have to understand the origin of the situation. You cannot control others, so let’s move away from that at the moment.

Take it upon yourself to identify the problem within because YOU must be able to forgive. 2 Timothy 1:7 says, For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

It’s scary to look inside yourself. The secrets you keep hidden within which no one knows about can be disturbing. It makes us fearful. Past experiences emerge as we begin to search ourselves. Your enemy loves it when you dig deep because he knows he can dredge up everything you used to be in order to use this against you in your mission to forgive the person.

If you’re living a life of un-forgiveness right now, you need to stop and take note of your inner self and begin searching for reasons why you cannot forgive. It’s not because you simply don’t care about the situation, or you have a mindset of, they can do what they want, I could care less what they think, mantra.

It would be a shame to never try. It would be pitiful to never get to the bottom of your predicament, and have it keep you out of Heaven simply because you couldn’t find why you weren’t able to forgive while you were still on this earth. Are you seriously considering carrying this baggage into the Judgement? Are you fully confident that God will see your side and tell you it was okay to harbor these feelings? I’ve done some stupid stuff in my lifetime, but even I don’t think I have the guts to take that chance.
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I hope you enjoyed that small portion of Forced To Forgive: A Christian Lifestyle in a Hate-Filled World! Please pre-order this book today to get your signed copies. I have several options for you to consider and look forward to sending your book soon!

Sales arguments

• I need to learn how to forgive someone in my life right now and this book will help me succeed.
• The author has real world experience in forgiveness strategies and has used them successfully.
• I want to learn more about the psychology, spirituality, and mentality about positive forgiveness and how to apply it to my life.
• I have a friend that needs to learn how to forgive and these strategies from real world scenarios and the Bible will help them.

Similar titles

• The Gift of Forgiveness: Inspiring Stories from Those Who Have Overcome the Unforgivable: Katherine Schwarzenegger Pratt
• How to Forgive...When You Don't Feel Like It: June Hunt
• Choosing Forgiveness: Your Journey to Freedom: Nancy Leigh DeMoss

Audience

Christians who are dealing with internal struggles to forgive.