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Angel Jefferson

Angel Jefferson

Connecticut, United States

Angel Jefferson is an Christian Author and Speaker who is committed to helping individuals who experience emotional parental wounds to live whole and thrive in their life!

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About the author

Angel Jefferson is an Author, Coach and Speaker. She travels to different places sharing her transformational story about her relationship with her parents after carrying parental wounds for a long time. Her story and personal successes have allowed her to speak at schools in front of audiences of over 300 people and other platforms. 

She is sought out on social media as the coach who helps individuals who have experienced parental wounds to live whole and thrive in their life.  She is also a Christian Speaker known to inspire and motivate people to be better and greater.

http://iamangelj.com
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Hurting Child, Distant Parent

Steps to being heal from emotional parental wounds and experience restoration with Parent.

There’s nothing more affecting to an individual who experiences parental wounds. "Hurting Child, Distance Parent" helps to bring wholeness from the childhood neglect on behalf of a parent.

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Personal Growth & Self-Improvement Young Adult
20,000 words
100% complete
4 publishers interested

Synopsis

Hurting Child, Distant Parent deals with the internal pain of the individuals who suffer parental wounds that often go overlooked by the parent. This book provides an avenue to where one who have experience neglect, abandonment, rejection, and pain from mom or dad, can now come to a place of wholeness and be free from unforgiveness, bitterness, hatred, and anger that the individual feels. 


Hurting Child, Distant Parent’s purpose is to really connect with the readers who relate in some degree. The initiative and the purpose of this book was because of the lack of acknowledgement of what an individual suffers with internally when they encounter parents who have neglected them, and oftentimes left them in the care of others or to fend for themselves. Often times when parent(s) are distant from the individual’s life whether it be emotional, physical, or financial they don’t realize the hurt it causes to the child internally.


This book gives a practical way to deal with what mom or dad did and/or didn’t do in their life. In addition, it gives some wisdom on how an individual can experience restoration with their parent after all they have done.


Why someone would buy this:

  • You will get practical steps to walking emotionally in wholeness from childhood traumas.
  • Strategic and Biblical insight to have your parents back in your life and have a more whole and better relationship with them.
  • Learn how to forgive and experience peace.
  • Recognize you have an eternal God who loves you when parent(s) forsake you and neglect you

Outline

Chapter 1 - Origin Angel’s Story
Overview of author story for the purpose of being transparent and relatable to those who read. She share her story so that a level of intimacy can be built with audience.

Chapter 2 - Healing With Yourself 

Placing emphasis on why it is imperative  to start a journey of wholeness from parental wounds and give practical insight on how to be heal. In addition, reveals what happens to an individual who don’t decide to be whole.

Chapter 3 - Dealing With It. What to Expect 
Wisdom on how to navigate with the pain one has been effected with. It exposes the reality of how one begin to start their journey of healing.

Chapter 4 - Forgiveness 
Learning what is forgiveness and how can one forgive parent.

Chapter 5 - Journey through reconciliation 
Sharing the reality of how the process is when being restored with a parent. Overcoming shortcomings of parents, loving from a distance, and learning patience and so on...

Chapter 6 - Guarding Heart
Maintaining your wholeness. Wisdom on how to protect yourself from falling into that place of angry, resentment and unforgiveness towards parent. 

Chapter 7 - Better Loving
How can one love their parent better. Teaching on what it is to really love and exposing the myths about love.

Chapter 8 - Confronting the Target
Identifying the real target for victory over your parent(s) life. Consist of Spiritual Warfare. What is it? And why is it important that we need to know about it in order to win our parent back in our life.

Chapter 9 - Generational Cycles: Breaking the cycle of dysfunction 
Wisdom to help individuals not to create the same patterns of parent in their future.

Chapter 10 - Positive Declaration and Affirmations 
Breaking free from the negative impact parent had on an individual, and begin to walk in a better version of themselves  by the power of positive affirmations over their life. Also, Learning how affirmations can transform their reality.

Audience

The book, Hurting Child, Distant Parent’s audience is directed towards individuals who have experienced emotional wounding and neglect from parents. It is for those who have been hurt by their mom or dad. 


Hurting Child, Distant Parent carries the tools and principles for those who have been affected negatively by parents to help them become whole and thrive. People want to know how can they overcome the hurt, un-forgiveness, pain, and anger that mom or dad has caused in their life.


This book is a perfect fit because the author has experienced the situations that she brings light to within the book. Victims of parental neglect want someone they can relate to and who can provide the necessary tools to help them in their situation, and that’s what the author, Angel Jefferson, gives in her book.


In studies she has found out that there are many books about how a parent deals with a “misbehaving child,” but there were not a lot of books that hardly deals with how to get through situations when an individual has to deal with parental neglect and how it impacted them negatively and emotionally. 


There weren’t many books that give solutions on how to journey through healing from childhood traumas and parental wounds. It is also shown in studies that those who have been affected by parents and experienced childhood traumas, 75% of the time they repeated those same patterns with their children. In this book, Hurting Child, Distant Parent she gives the blueprints for individuals to not repeat the same cycle. She gives keys to those 75% of people who repeat the same pattern to become cycle breakers of those patterns that their parents did. She helps individuals to overcome their hurt and head towards wholeness in their life.

Promotion

Instagram: 1,011
Facebook:1,539

Videos views is approximately between 500-700 views
Professional website : IamAngelJ.com and about 66 views a week.

Speaking engagements is 2x a month. Visit schools and church events.

Angel video strategy is posting at least one video a week to help driving attention to the book.

Competition

- Overcoming Childhood Trauma by Helen Kennerley, published by NYU Press, September 1, 2000.

Overcoming a Childhood Trauma is a self help manual for those who are struggling with the after effects of having suffered from abuse in childhood. "Hurting Child, Distant Parent" is different from this book because not only does this book provides self help, but it comes with the reality and transparency of one who have dealt with this issue to be able to connect on a deeper level with readers.


- Longing for Daddy: Healing from the pain of an absent or emotional distant father by Monique Robinson, published by WaterBrook, 2009. 

"Longing for Daddy" can help you discover how the absence of your father has impacted your life-your attitude, your actions, your beliefs, your decisions and your identity. You can learn how to stop resulting negative behaviors, break free and experience-building, empowering love that will heal your hurts and fulfill your deepest longing. "Hurting Child, Distant Parent" is different because the author doesn't just deal with one parent, but she deals with both mom or father who may have hurt the child. This gives readers the opportunity to read the book regardless if they were hurt by either mom or dad.


- The Emotionally Absent Mother: A Guide to self healing and getting the Love you missed by Jasmine Lee, published by Experiment (September 7, 2010).

This book will help you understand what was missing from your childhood, how this relates to your mother’s own history, and how you can fill the mother gap in your life. 

"Hurting Child, Distant Parent" is different from this book because not only do author, Angel Jefferson shows you what was missing during your childhood but she give keys and strategies on how to overcome what has hurt you due to what you have experienced from what was missing in your childhood. There’s steps to healing. She is focused that readers will become heal/whole and not only be exposed to what they are dealing with.


- Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson, published by New Harbinger Publications (June 25, 2015)


In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect, and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood. By freeing yourself from your parents’ emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. Finally, you’ll learn how to create positive, new relationships so you can build a better life. "Hurting Child, Distant Parent" is different from this book because not only do you free yourself from your parents’ emotional immaturity, but you can understand why is it they treated you the way they did.

- Running on Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships With Your Partner, Your Parents and Your Children by Jonice Webb, published by Morgan James Publishing (November 7, 2017)


"Running on Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships" will offer even more solutions for the effects of CEN on people’s lives: how to talk about CEN, and heal it, in relationships with partners, parents, and children. "Hurting Child, Distant Parent" is different because not only does Angel Jefferson talks about Emotional Neglect that the individual receives from parent but she gives practical ways to heal from it and restore relationship with Mom or Dad.


4 publishers interested
Atlantic Publishing Group, Inc. logo Atlantic Publishing Group, Inc.

250 copies • Completed manuscript.
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Atmosphere Press logo Atmosphere Press

250 copies • Partial manuscript.
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Chapter 2:
Healing Yourself
"Your wound is probably not your fault, but healing is your responsibility" - Unknown

Being in a situation where you experience neglect, abandonment, rejection and hurt from a parent, it tends to leave you with anger, resentment, unforgiveness, and other negative emotions. The reality is this. It is important and necessary for you to heal and be whole and put an end to all that you feel. The problem that most of us struggle with, (I know because I've been there), is recognizing the depth of our emotional trauma and admitting we need to healing from all the things we carry in our hearts towards our parent(s).

It's time for you to deal with the concealed wounds you've harbored for so long. I know how it is, and I know what it feels like to be hurt by your parent. I understand the bitterness, hatred, dislike, pain, and anger you have. I have been there; nevertheless, I also came to a place of healing. Sometimes we can be so hurt and so angry by what our mom or dad has done that we lose our happiness, our joy, and our peace as an individual. If we have not decided to start the healing with ourselves, then we are choosing to walk around angry and miserable.
I’ve decided to become emotionally whole, have happiness, joy, and peace in my life. I refuse to allow what mom or dad didn’t do to be the deciding factor premise on my decision to be free emotionally.  In spite of what they did and didn’t do; it was my choice to choose to be emotionally healthy. However, most of us don’t think we have a choice, and so we instead walk around mad and angry. I’ve known people who continue to carry the emotional scars with them all because of what mom or dad did in their life, which is why I stress the importance of healing yourself. I choose to be whole emotionally for the sake of ME being free.

The Results of Holding Onto Stuff
As stated briefly above, one of the issues we have as individuals that keeps us in a place of anger and resentment, etc. is the fact that we hold onto stuff in our hearts. When you hold onto things that serve no purpose in your life, or things that make you upset, mad and angry, it keeps a part of your life gloomy. You become discouraged. I literally tried to keep it all in and never really dealt with what they did and how it made me feel.

Friend, maybe you are the one that Dad has left, or perhaps you are the one whose parent was on drugs and couldn't take care of you, maybe you are the one mom or dad neglected, maybe you are the one who hasn't seen your parent in forever and you're hurt because of it!  Whatever your situation is, do not allow it to keep you from walking in wholeness any longer. Can I tell you something? Deciding to be healed for me was the best thing I could ever do! You are reading about someone who has experienced healing from wounds inside of me that I have held onto for a long time. They are the wounds that l try to keep from God, but He sees and knows everything. God was willing to walk with me through healing!

One day I sat in my room thinking of my mother and our situation. The Lord interrupted me and said, "Daughter, you need healing"  Wow! Even though I suppressed the truth of what I needed, and presented myself as always being "good or fine" as if I was not hurt, God, being the Father he is, looked beyond that and dug a little bit deeper and dealt with my heart issues that resulted from my childhood experiences with my mom. One thing is certain, We sometimes become dishonest in what we really need because it exposes our vulnerability. When God spoke to me, it was because I was going through a season of denial about needing to be healed. I wanted to “believe” that I was not hurt.

Holding onto stuff prevents you from moving forward


For so long I held everything inside of me trying to function in life with wounds that eventually affected me in certain areas of my life. It resulted in certain behaviors and attitudes. When you try to push things away and not heal, it will resurface later in your life. Allowing things to harbor in your heart is not a shortcut to being healed or getting over something. I have seen certain areas of my life affected because I refused to start the journey of my healing. One of them was simply being able to move forward positively in my life. Why? Because I felt that if my mom were there for me like she should have, I wouldn't have to go through this, and this thinking prevented me from moving forward. With others, the affectation can manifest as not trusting other people. Maybe you were lied to by your parent, or perhaps you became fearful of feeling like people were going to abandon you in life because that's what your dad always did. In different ways when you don't seek the healing that is needed for you, these are some of the effects it can have. I have witnessed this.
Holding onto stuff results in external conflict
“The things you refuse to deal with often turn into big explosions. You must develop the courage of speaking up about what affects you directly to mom or dad. In return, things will be a lot better for you, especially emotionally!”

As someone who was broken, angry, bitter and upset at what my mom and dad did, I held stuff in my heart for so long,  it eventually turned into external conflict with them.
Proverbs 29:22 says, "An angry man stirs up arguments, and a hot-tempered man causes many transgressions."

The conflict was externally was fueled by the bitterness, hatred, and anger that I held onto in my heart that soon would show in my actions towards them.
Matthew 15:18-19. "Evil words come from an evil heart."
The reality of this is no matter how long you try to hold stuff in your heart; eventually, it will come to light. As the saying goes, what’s done in the dark will come to light. The pain and hurt that you really have will be exposed in the measure of your conflict you have with the individual.
Ever experienced someone who gets in a fight or argument with another person, and they literally go in, you can tell just by the debate and what each person says that they've been holding a grudge for very long, and the conflict is exposing what was really in their heart. They've been concealing what affected them for so long. If you have not experienced that yet, then that's good! But if you continue to hold things in your heart, I promise those are the results you will soon experience.
The stuff I carried in my heart would then soon become the very words I said to my mother during conflicts we had. I'd blurt words out of my mouth that I'd held in my heart and used them as weapons to wound her. My words became my weapon, and that was an indication that there were unresolved issues and I needed healing emotionally. All the attitude, the back talk, the harsh words weren’t just me or simply how I 'acted.' The truth is, it was an indication I was hurt, and I had something against her in my heart. Clearly, I needed help.
The Process of Healing
In all reality, deciding to be healed and whole requires a lot from us. One of the things that's required in becoming emotionally whole is embracing our vulnerability. What we've learned and been taught is to forsake and reject the importance of just being vulnerable because it exposes a side of us that shows our weaknesses.
Our pride prevents us from being truly vulnerable. Some people would rather suffer in silence carrying pain and hurt just so they are esteemed as someone who is strong. The danger of not being vulnerable is emotional suffering. This is the standard that's been demanded in today’s society. We are not supposed to let anything affect us, we are supposed to be strong, we are not supposed to show any signs of weakness.
Shying away from exploring emotionality is a 'dysfunctional act' we learned in response to things that hurt and affect us. It is living up to a facade that overshadows and covers the pain and hurt we really feel on the inside so that we can always live up to society's standards.
Let me tell you… it’s okay to be hurt! It is okay to feel pain and cry about it.
“We have allowed our pride to be the hindrance to embracing how we feel, admitting what we feel and speaking up. And to bring some disclaiming... when doing so, it is not weakness, but it is actually the power of your strength. It’s a beautiful thing.” - Angel Jefferson
I know for some of you, the intention was never to hide your emotion. The situations you experienced has literally molded you to become like that, sadly.
One day I was in my room talking to a friend, and I started thinking about the relationship with their mother as the person confided in me. I didn’t quite understand why the individual said they weren’t hurt or affected because I knew they were. God then spoke to me about the reason why some of us say we are not in pain or challenged when we actually are.
This is the reason…We’ve become what they are to our hurt. I’ll say that again... we become what they are to our own hurt. Whew, that hit me like a ton of bricks! I’ll break it down to you. What God was saying to me is that in the situations where we are hurt by our parent(s) there were times where we wanted them to recognize what they did to us.  We wanted them to feel sympathy. We wanted them to acknowledge that their actions have hurt us.
Have you been there? I have!
So I’m like okay God... keep going...He then goes on to say that because of how we felt and what affected us was ignored by our parent(s), [in whatever case. Maybe they have never recognized that them being gone had an effect on you, or perhaps they were too busy being them that they couldn’t see or acknowledge that it hurt you. Because of this] over time, you then became what they have been to it. You ignore it and push it to the back. In other words, you allowed it to harbor in your heart and made yourself believe that you're okay.
Eventually, this has allowed you to become seemingly tough in your response to this hurt.
God then said, “ Angel, you were never supposed to become tough in that area where it is meant for you to be vulnerable.” This is where some of you are at. You've become tough in that area of what mom or dad has done to you. You’ve put on a facade so that it won't expose how you really feel. The hurt and pain in which mom or dad refused to see, has caused you to 'appear tough' and ignore your own pain.
What I mean by that is, you've put up a facade that deceives others and yourself in believing that the pain of youth is done away with and you're okay.
Listen, I don’t care if you are 15 or 27 years old reading this book, it’s ALRIGHT to be VULNERABLE in any situation. In fact, you can be ? you are never supposed to become so 'tough.' It is okay to say you know what, I am hurt. I am still angry about what my dad has done, or my mother has done.
This is the starting point of your healing. Taking ownership of where you are and being vulnerable.


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