Ch 8. Sensuality and Sexuality                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        While this is not a book about sexual technique, it is important to understand what your mind is telling you about your sensuality and your sexual behavior.

Your sensuality is your ability to experience life with all five of your senses. It is an inner quality and has nothing to do with your penis size , breast measurements, washboard abdominals, the whiteness of your teeth, or any other arbitrary external characteristic society has deemed related to sexual pleasure.

Your sensuality is an internal function of your mind and mindfulness. Nowhere in life is this more important than when making love with your partner. Your ability to love your partner with your whole body and all five of your senses is a big part of sexual mindfulness.

Each time you make love with your partner the sights, sounds, tastes, touches, and smells change making it a new and unique experience.

Your sexual environment also changes. The light might be streaking through the windows differently. There might be birds singing in the garden or a very sexy song playing in the background.

Your ability to be mindful of all of the sensations involved in your lovemaking and your sexual environment adds a dimension to your lovemaking that can keep it fresh and arousing.

Your mind also creates thoughts, feelings, self-talk, and mental images about the specific sexual behaviors you and your partner engage in. Sexual mindfulness helps you become more aware of what your mind is telling you about your sexual behavior preferences and those of your partner.

This is very important because these thoughts and feelings can either enhance your sexual experience or stop your sexual response dead in its tracks.

Using sexual mindfulness to increase your awareness of your thoughts, feelings, self talk, and mental images about specific sexual acts sets the stage for being able to talk openly and honestly about them with your partner.

Sexual mindfulness can also help you appreciate the range of different sexually pleasurable things available to you and partner. It will reinforce the sexual activities you currently value and enjoy and open the door to new ones if you chose to go there.

This chapter uses fun, easy to complete exercises that help you become more aware of your sensuality and sexual behaviors.
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