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Richard Blonna

Richard Blonna

For the past 30 years my books and courses have helped thousands of people just like you from around the world get the sex life they want and deserve.

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1. Introduction: what sexual mindfulness is all about.
2. Mindful Breath Meditation: learn mindfulness by focusing on your
breathing.
3. Mindful Foot Massage: how to give a mindful, erotic foot massage.
4. Mindful Back Massage: how to give a mindful, erotic back massage.
5. Mindful Masturbation for Men: how to please your man mindfully.
6. Mindful Masturbation for Women: how to please your woman mindfully.
7. Mindful Oral Sex for Men: how to go down on him with all five of your senses.
8. MIndful Oral Sex for Women: how to go down on her with all five senses

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• 4 Sessions
• 11 Video Lectures
• 11 Audio Lectures
• 25 Activities (PDF File)
• 8 Mp3 Audio Files from the Sexual Mindfulness Album (4 hours )
• 1 E-Book (Sex-ACT PDF file)*
• 1 Ch. 08 Blonna Textbook (Healthy Sexuality PDF File)*
• 1 Quick Start Guide

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• 10 Sessions (video, audio files)
• 17 Lectures (video, audio files)
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Sexual Mindfulness

Unleash the Power of Your Sexual Mind with Mindfulness

Learn how to keep your sexual passion alive even if you've been with your partner for 10, 20 or more years and have had sex thousands of times together.

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Self-Help Mindfulness, Sexuality
Marco Island, Florida
50,000 words
75% complete
2 publishers interested

Synopsis

    You have the ability to experience sex with your partner as something new and special if you approach it mindfully, without prejudging how things will play out. Sexual mindfulness shows you how to unleash the power of your sexual mind to discover new joy and sexual pleasure with your partner at any point in your relationship.

Mindfulness is best described as moment-by-moment awareness. All mindful moments are:

·         present centered

·         non-judgmental

·         non-verbal

·         non-conceptual

Here is how you can apply this to your sex life.  

Close your eyes and imagine that you are making love with your partner. If you were practicing sexual mindfulness here is what would be going on:  

·         Present Centered – You would be fully attentive and experience what is going on with your partner with all five of your senses. Your attention would focus completely on the sights, sounds, tastes, touches, and smells related to your two bodies as you make love. 

·         Non Judgmental –  You would enjoy and accept your partner and your lovemaking in a non-judgmental way with grace and gratitude. 

·         Non- Conceptual -  Your thoughts would not drift to something that happened yesterday or might happen tomorrow. You would note what is going on with your partner, accept it, and enjoy it instead of trying to figure anything out or anticipate what might happen next.  

·         Non-Verbal – You would speak very little. and communicate with your eyes, hands, mouth, the rest of your body and your spirit.

    Imagine what your sex life would be like if you and your partner could approach each sexual experience in such a mindful way.  Each sexual encounter would be viewed as something fresh, with the potential to experience new heights of passion and pleasure together.

Outline

Book Table of Contents

Part 1: Let's Talk About Sex

Chapter 1: Sex and Sexual Identity
What is Sex?
Your Sexual Identity

Chapter 2: Your Biological Sex/Gender
The influence of biology (genetics, hormones etc.) on your sexuality.

Chapter 3: Your Gender Identity
Your Internal picture of what it means to you to to be boy/girl, man/woman, both/neither.

Chapter 4: Your Gender Role
How you portray your gender identity to others.

Chapter 5: Your Sexual Preference/Orientation
Your adult, free choice of sex partners.

Chapter 6: Your Sexual Response
From desire to satisfaction; the stages of sexual response.
How your body and mind connect during sexual response.

Chapter 7: Sensuality and Sexual Behavior
Exploring your sensuality and sexuality.
Your sexual behavior options from A to Z.

Part 2: Becoming More Mindful

Chapter 8: Introduction to Mindfulness
Mindfulness defined.
What is the purpose of mindfulness?

Chapter 9: How Your Mind Thinks About Sex
Your mind as a 24/7 thinking and feeling machine.

Chapter 10: Acceptance and Mindfulness
Acceptance is the gateway to sexual mindfulness.

Chapter 11: Formal Mindfulness Training; A Three Step Process.
Diaphragmatic breathing.
Breath meditation.
Mindfulness meditation.

Chapter 12: Informal Mindfulness Training
Becoming more aware of your sexual thoughts, feelings, and self-talk.
Becoming more aware of your sexual behavior, and sexual environment.

Part 3: Sexual Mindfulness

Chapter 13: Becoming More Mindful of Your Sexuality
Using mindfulness to enhance your sexual identity.
Using mindfulness to strengthen your sexual relationship(s).

Chapter 14: Mindful Foot Massage

Chapter 15: Mindful Back Massage

Chapter 16: Mindful Masturbation
For her and him.

Chapter 17: Mindful Oral Sex
For him and her.

Chapter 18: Sexual Intercourse as a Gourmet Meal

Epilogue

Reference List

Audience

    While anyone who is sexually active will benefit from reading this book, it will benefit you the most if you have been in a committed sexual relationship for at least a few years. As you well know, your sexual relationships change over time. Outside influences such as work, kids, health issues, aging parents, familiarity with your partner, and a million other things impact you, your partner, and your sexual relationship. 

    Accompanying these outside influences are internal changes in your mind and how you view your sexual identity, your partner, and your sexual relationship. As a 24/7 thinking and feeling machine, your mind constantly churns out thoughts, feelings, self-talk, and mental images about all aspects of your life, including your sexuality. Troubling thoughts and painful emotions related to your sexual identity and your sexual relationship often create thinking and feeling barriers that contribute to getting stuck in a sexual rut. This keeps you from having the sex life you want and deserve. These thinking and feeling barriers are insidious and can relate to any aspect of your sexuality. Often these barriers just creep up on you seemingly out of nowhere and lead to sexual relationship problems.

    Sexual mindfulness helps you become more aware of troubling thoughts, painful emotions, and behavioral changes that cause you to get stuck in a sexual rut. Becoming more mindful of what is going on in your body, mind, environment and relationship is the first step in getting unstuck and having the sex life you want and deserve.

    This book incorporates hands-on exercises and activities that you can do alone or with your partner to not only become more sexually mindful but also to spice up your sex life and get it back on track. 

    I can’t promise you that if you read this book and practice all of the exercises you will have a perfect sexual relationship. Honestly, such a thing just doesn’t exist. There are still times when I struggle with troubling thoughts and painful emotions about my own sexuality and my sexual relationship with my wife. This comes with the territory of being a sexually-active adult in a committed relationship.

What I can promise you is that after finishing the book you will:

·         Know What Mindfulness is.

·         Begin to Experience Sex With All Five of Your Senses.

·         Understand Your Sexual Identity and Values.

·         Use Mindfulness to Enhance Your Sexual Pleasure.

.         Become a More Mindful Lover.

·         Use Mindfulness to Strengthen Your                                              Personal  Sexuality and Your Sexual Relationship.

Author

Dr Rich Blonna is a world-renowned expert in understanding how the mind and body work together during sexual response. He is the author of the best selling sexual self-help book; Sex ACT: Unleash the Power of Your Sexual Mind with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy . He has also written one of the leading college textbooks; Healthy Sexuality

    For the past 30 years, as a College Professor, Coach (BCC), Counselor (NCC) and Health Education Specialist (CHES) he has helped thousands of students and clients improve their sex lives. These are people just like you who are in loving, committed relationships but over time have gotten stuck in a sexual rut. Sex has simply become routine, an obligation, and without passion. Many stopped having sex or even caring about it.

    As someone who has been married to the same woman for 47 years Dr Rich understands how this happens. He and his wife have had sex thousands of times and have gone through many ups and downs in their relationship. At 67, he has experienced the effects of both aging and time on himself, his wife, and their relationship. He has watched their sexual relationship evolve over 47 years and knows how easy it is to fall prey to thinking and feeling traps about sex .

    Fortunately, about a decade ago he discovered Mindfulness and became a pioneer in applying its principles and practices to the field of human sexuality. He  has found that  mindfulness principles and practices are perfectly suited for helping people just like you break down sexual thinking and feeling barriers, regain your passion, and create the sex life you want and deserve.

    His new book, Sexual Mindfulness, uses simple but powerful mindfulness techniques to help you ramp up your sexual pleasure with your partner. He knows these techniques work because he has used them with thousands of students and clients and personally in his own loving, committed, 47 year marriage. 

    Dr Rich says without hesitation that because of sexual mindfulness his sexual relationship with his wife is better now than it ever was in the first 30 years of their their marriage. 

    Dr Rich invites you to let him show you how you can experience the same kind of joy in your relationship.

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Competition

There are several books on mindfulness and countless books on sexuality. None of them combine the two by showing how mindfulness enhances sexuality. The closest competition will come from books related to Tantric Sex. In fact, that will be a market that we can market to heavily. Sexual Mindfulness will appeal to readers who like certain aspects of Tantric Sex such as learning how to delay orgasm and experience sex through all five senses but who do not like the heavy emphasis on spirituality and Buddhism inherent in the genre. 

Sample

Chapter 1: Let's Talk About Sex and Your Sexual Identity     

    Before we jump into discussing sexual mindfulness we need to answer the question, "What is sex?" You're probably wondering why I even need to ask the question because everyone knows what sex is, right? Well, maybe. 

    Sex can mean many different things to different people. Still not convinced? Let me just share a little story that dates all the way back to 1998.     

    On 1/16/98 President Bill Clinton infamously told the nation, "I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky." while at the same time admitting that the stains on her blue dress were there because she had performed oral sex on him in his office.  At the time I was 47 years old and my first reaction to his quote was , "yeah, sure, so how do you explain the stains on her dress?" After thinking it over for a while I began to wonder if he really didn't think that oral sex was sex.                                                                                                                             At the time I was teach a Human Sexuality college course so I decided to ask my students. I was amazed at the results.  Most did not consider oral sex , sex. They viewed it more as a type of foreplay or making out rather than putting it in the same class as intercourse. Furthermore, most of them who had given or received oral sex but hadn't had sexual intercourse considered themselves to be virgins.     

    To be honest, I was blown away by the results. I was only a few years younger than President Clinton at the time he made his statement and I definitely viewed oral sex as sex. In fact I viewed oral sex as not only a type of sex but probably the most intimate form of sex because of the face to genital exposure  someone has when performing it. In fact, I still feel this way.


Chapter 2: How Your Mind Thinks About Sex

      In order to practice sexual mindfulness, you need to understand how your mind thinks about sex. One of the hardest things for me to understand when I started practicing mindfulness was the role played by my mind. I really didn't even understand the difference between the brain and the mind. During my first formal seminar I was continually corrected by the instructor when I made statements about the brain that actually were related to the mind. 

     The best analogy I can think of to explain the relationship between your brain and your mind is the relationship between your computer and the software it runs. Your brain is similar to the computer. It is the structure that houses the software and makes it run. Your mind is like your computer's software. Just like your computer houses several different programs so does your mind. 

    While your computer might have a word processing program, a photo and video viewing program, an internet gateway program and several others, your mind has its' own programs.    Your mind's “programs” are your thoughts, feelings, self-talk and mental images. 

      The other key similarity between your brain/mind and your computer/software is the ability of your mind and your computer to run several programs simultaneously. At any given time your computer is running its' operating system, virus checker, email, etc. Your mind does the same thing. It simultaneously thinks, feels, and responds to external stimuli such as sights, sounds, smells etc. when you are in a sexual situation. Not only can your computer and your brain run these programs simultaneously, they are capable of running them non-stop 24/7 every day.  In other words, your mind is a non-stop 24/7 thinking and feeling machine. And people wonder why we think about sex so much???


  

Chapter 5: Sexual Orientation/Preference        

    The two terms sexual orientation and sexual preference are often used synonymously. I prefer the term sexual orientation because I feel that it encompasses the term sexual preference. Your sexual orientation is your adult, free choice, of sexual partners.

    I use the qualifier, "adult", because it is not unusual for people to experiment with same and opposite sex partners in childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood. By adulthood people have had the time and opportunity to make an informed choice about the kinds of partners they desire and prefer to have sex with.

    I use the qualifying term "free choice" because it eliminates sexual experiences that were forced, or occurred while incarcerated or in any other situation where free choice was curtailed.

    I strongly believe that there is no inherently right or wrong, or good or bad sexual orientation. No one knows why people have the sexual orientation they do. As with other preferences (food , career, political etc.) you are drawn to your sexual partners because they appeal to you and spark your sexual desire. No one knows for sure why this is so. There is no conclusive scientific evidence that links sexual orientation to hormones, parenting styles, dominant fathers etc.  



Chapter 8: Sexual Response        


      If you ask the average person which body part is most important regarding their sexual response, they’ll probably say, the penis or the vagina or something else related to their genitals. Most of us equate sexual response to genital functioning, something that goes on between our legs. In fact, the most important body part involved in your sexual response is located between your ears.

     Your brain, not your genitals, is the seat of your sexual response. Sexual response begins and ends in your mind. Sexual response is a complex interaction of psychological and physiological factors that starts in your brain and spreads through ­the rest of your body, including your genitals.

    Your sexual response starts with your mind's perception of desire and ends with a sense of satisfaction or disappointment. It involves thoughts about yourself, your partner, and the specific context in which your potential sexual encounter occurs.  In other words three variables are involved; you, your partner, and the time and place of the encounter. What your mind tells you about these things strongly influences every aspect of your sexual response from being able to get aroused to enjoying the experience and having an orgasm. 

    Sexual Mindfulness training helps you become more aware of  your mind is telling you about your sexual encounters with your partner. It teaches you how to shift your focus off of any unhelpful thoughts and feelings and onto what is going on in the present moment when you have sex.  This enables you to be 100% present and get the most out of your sexual experience.      



Chapter 13: Becoming More Mindful of Your Sexuality        


     More mindful, enjoyable sex is not some fantasy or sexual lifestyle beyond your reach. It has nothing to do with age, beauty, penis or breast size or other physical attributes, lingerie,  jewelry, perfume, make-up, or any of the variables society equates with great sex.  

    Ordinary people can have extraordinary sex with the same partner for years and years if they approach each experience with grace and gratitude and a beginner's mind.               

     The following fun exercise can help you view sex differently. The purpose of this activity is to start to slow down and savor the process of lovemaking as much as the outcome.  It helps you view sex as more of a multi-course gourmet meal. With each course the couple anticipates something special, a unique taste delight.

Exercise # 24: Sex as a Gourmet Meal                                                                         
Instructions:                                                                                                                                                                                       
1. Set aside one full hour of uninterrupted time for this activity.

2. Think of this one-hour lovemaking session as a gourmet meal.

  • Take your time with each course; savor it and do not rush.
  • Don't look at having an orgasm as the objective.
  • Don't even think beyond the course you are involved in and your actions, and those of your partner.
3. For course number one just relax in bed eating and drinking.

  • Don't get drunk or eat too much.
  • The idea is to have a sensual snack.
  • Think of this as a prelude to your lovemaking.
4. Give your partner a massage for a few minutes.

  • Have your partner choose which type of massage.
  • Take your time, use oil or powder, and be mindful of what is going on in your hands and body, your partner's body, and the bedroom environment. 
  • Continue this for as long as you wish and then switch and have your partner massage you.
5. Now shift your attention to your partner's vulva or penis and get into position to give your partner oral sex for a while. Relax and take your time.

  • Notice the sights, sounds, tastes, touch, and smell of giving your partner oral sex.
  • Ask your partner if there is anything they would like you to do to enhance the experience for them.
6. Now switch and let your partner give you oral sex for a while.

  • Notice the sights, sounds, tastes, touch, and smell of your partner giving you oral sex.
  • Tell your partner if there is anything you would like them to do to enhance the experience for you.
7. If you both desire it, get into position and give each-other oral sex for a while.

  • Notice the sights, sounds, tastes, touch, and smell of giving and receiving oral sex.
  • Tell your partner if there is anything you would like them to do to enhance the experience for you.

8. Take a break and grab a sip of wine and a piece of fruit.


9. Feed your partner for a while and express your appreciation for such a wonderful love-making session.

10. Now shift your focus to sexual intercourse and ask your partner how they want to be entered or enter you.

11. After a while change intercourse positions. I recommend finishing with one that your partner is most likely to achieve orgasm with.

12. Continue in this position until your partner comes.

13. If you haven't come and want to, tell your partner what you will need in order to come.


14. Remember, you can have great sex even if you don't have an orgasm so this is your choice.

15. After you either have an orgasm or decide to stop having intercourse, don't pull out or have your partner pull out immediately.



2 publishers interested Express interest
Apocryphile Press logo Apocryphile Press

Apocryphile Press is a small, new-paradigm publishing company based in the San Francisco East Bay. We specialize in edgy spirituality, and pretty much anything that snags our fancy.

We are especially interested at this time in literary or genre fiction with a spiritual bent that portrays religious people in realistic ways. (Translation: if your religious characters aren't deeply flawed and don't cuss, don't send it to us.)

Independent publisher

Fantasy, Health, History, Lifestyle, Literary Fiction, Memoirs, Mind & Body, Mystery, Religious, Romance, Sci-Fi, Self-Help, Thriller, Travel, Young Adult

Worldwide

Atmosphere Press logo Atmosphere Press

Atmosphere Press is an independent full-service publisher for books in genres ranging from non-fiction to fiction to poetry to children's picturebooks, with a special emphasis on being an author-friendly approach to getting a book into the world. We're professional, honest, and kind. Learn more about what we do at Atmosphere’s website, atmospherepress.com.

Service publisher

All categories

Worldwide


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  • Guy Vincent
    on Dec. 11, 2018, 12:39 a.m.

    Congrats Rich! All the best with Sexual Mindfulness!

  • Michael Robbins
    on Dec. 11, 2018, 8:39 p.m.

    Thanks Richard - I'm looking forward reading your book, and putting it into practice.

  • Brenda Bomgardner
    on Dec. 25, 2018, 8:04 p.m.

    I look forward to reading your book and sharing it with clients.

  • Jonna bruun
    on Dec. 31, 2018, 9:32 a.m.

    Thank you Richard - I am looking forward to receive and read the book