By integrating the science, spirituality, and poetry of the heart, The Seven Lessons of Love presents universal truths on the nature of love.
Self-Help Love, Intimacy, Relationships
||9 publishers interested
I have literally been rendered speechless with awe—in awe of how utterly thorough and ambitious and well-thought out Zach’s book is, in awe for how beautifully written and captivating and engaging and inspiring it is. Zach is a brilliant thinker and writer—astutely aware, transformative, uplifting, and truly heartfelt.
- Wendy-O Matik, Author of Redefining Our Relationships
The Seven Lessons of Love presents clear, accessible, universal truths about the heart to help all of us love ourselves, others, and the world.
This project began years ago. I decided to quit my corporate job and devote myself to a life of love, which turned into a much more difficult task than I imagined. Jobs at Love Incorporated didn't exist, nor could I go to Harvard and get a PhD in love.
It was clear I had to carve out my own path, which meant traveling the world searching for the truths to lasting love and intimacy. My love path has taken me from ashrams to lecture halls, from churches to conferences, from meditation halls to therapist offices, talking with everyone I met about how to keep our hearts open.
Throughout all these studies, lectures, travels, experiences, in this search for truth, the same fundamental ideas came up again and again. Whether it was a seasoned meditation teacher, an experienced sex therapist or simply a married couple celebrating their 50 year anniversary, everyone I encountered on the path of love shared with me the same core messages. Although everyone spoke in different words and phrases, they all essentially said the same thing.
These core messages are summed up as The Seven Lessons of Love
The Seven Lessons of Love are universal. These lessons lie at the core of being human. They apply no matter our age, religion, class, race, ethnicity, gender, sexuality, or how we like our tea in the morning. Once we know the lessons, we will begin to see their truths everywhere, in every human interaction, behind every word, feeling, and behavior.
I cannot lay claim to these lessons as my own, as they have been preached by great teachers, gurus and sages for centuries. They have been sung by every mother breastfeeding her child since the dawn of humanity. I merely compile them here, for us to know and use, for us to co-create a new world based on unconditional love and connection.
I hope that these lessons will be like little post-it notes on the refrigerator of our lives. That way, when we greet the morning sun everyday, we can remember that we are here to love, to be the love that we seek, to recognize the oneness of love and life, with each other, with the Universe, with spirit, with God.
The path of love is not easy, but it is the most worthwhile.
Lesson One: Everyone Needs Love
Our physical, mental, and emotional well-being is completely dependent on very real feelings of love and belonging.
Lesson Two: Our Home is Our First Love School
Early on in our lives, we gained expectations and understandings around what a loving relationship is, how we are supposed to behave in relationships, and what a loving partner is supposed to do. We are then expected to simply know how to love without additional guidance during our adult lives.
Lesson Three: Our Love Begins With Our Attention
The most precious gift we have to offer anyone is our presence. To be there for other people, we start by actually being here, providing healing love in the form of open receptivity and kindness.
Lesson Four: Our Love Continues With Knowledge of Our Shared Humanity
Our love begins with our attention and continues with a recognition that we are all in this together. We share the common fragility and preciousness that lies at the heart of the human condition. By seeing others as unique reflections of ourselves, our compassion for the world grows.
Lesson Five: We Can Never Open Up Our Hearts Too Much
There are no limits to our kindness, generosity and gratitude. Opening our hearts is a practice that we can come to every moment of every day, knowing love has the potential to transform the world if we let it.
Lesson Six: Extending Love to Ourselves is Often the Most Difficult Task
We’re told to love ourselves, but no one ever tells us how. In truth, extending love to ourselves is often the most difficult task, as our harsh inner critic often has the last word. This chapter offers eight simple steps towards greater self-love.
Lesson Seven: Love is a Lens With Which to View the World.
Love is not just an emotion we feel, but a way of being. By integrating the previous lessons of love into our lives, we are able to look at the world in a completely new way, one infused with love in every atom and compassion in every action.
One Final Lesson
A final lesson, that does not apply to love directly, but will greatly help anyone in their loving relationships, is that people change, but we cannot change people. The universe is always in constant change, and people change along with it, but our attempts to change and control other people are an exercise in futility.
The Seven Lessons of love is a self-help book, appealing to readers interested in emotional development, stronger relationships and marriages, spiritual practice, better self-love, and stronger feelings of empathy, understanding, kindness and compassion.
People need love now more than ever. For the first time since the Bureau of Labor Statistics started tracking the numbers, there are more single people in the United States than those in marriages. With almost half of marriages ending in divorce and almost 40% of people in marriages expressing dissatisfaction with their lives, there are over 100 million people in the US alone that need new tools to discover love, connection and belonging.
While religion is on the decline in the US, those who consider themselves to be “spiritually inclined” has increased dramatically, with over 30 million people in just the last decade alone (Pew Research Center). With such a dramatic shift towards expanded paradigms of thought, people are hungry for betters tools to strengthen the heart and their connection with others.
The lessons offer solace to the 1 in 4 Americans having no one to emotionally confide in, advice to the majority of couples struggling in their relationships, and hope for the half of people coming out of a long term relationship.
This book targets the same 3 million spiritual seekers in North America that bought Eckhart Tolle’s Power of Now, the same self-help market that bought 5.2 million copies of Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements, the same 25 million yoga practitioners in the US, and the 15% of Americans on online dating websites looking for love.
Zach Beach is committed to building a world based on unconditional love and connection. He does that as a teacher, yoga and acroyoga facilitator, poet and writer, helping people lead happier and more loving lives.
Author of the poetry collection Drinking Roses on Sunday and the founder of Learn to Love, Zach regularly speaks at conferences and leads Power of Love yoga retreats, as well as yoga classes, workshops and teacher trainings. With an MA in East-West Psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies, Zach's writings have appeared in Huffington Post, Elephant Journal, MindBodyGreen, ThoughtCatalog and Medium.
Social Media: Zach has a strong presence on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, along with his Zachbeachlove pages and Learn to Love pages, totaling over over 3000 followers.
Email Lists: Zach's personal email list, combined with the reach of the Learn to Love community, reaches over 1000 people.
Writings: Zach's medium posts regularly reach over 10,000 readers.
Youtube: Zach's youtube channel regularly reaches +3000 people per video.
Public Appearances: Zach regularly teaches public classes, workshops and trainings, as well as at conferences and festivals with large audiences.
Marketing Plan: Along with leveraging the reach of all of the above, the Publishizer campaign will include a viral marketing campaign using the hashtag #howilove. For the first 15 days of the campaign, followers will be encouraged to use the hashtag #howilove to show the world how they bring kindness and compassion into their everyday lives. In the final 30 days of the campaign, the month of June or July will include a #30daysoflove where followers will be challenged to bring love into their lives every single day and share with their social media.
Title: True Love: A Practice for Awakening the Heart
Author: Thich Nhat Hanh
Publisher: Shambhala; 1 edition (September 28, 2004)
Description: Zen monk Hanh offers his insights into love as a private emotion and public force in his thought-provoking guide to Buddhism's four key aspects of love. Zach includes these ideas while expanding on the science, practice and possibilities of bringing love into our private and public lives.
Title: The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
Author: Brene Brown
Publisher: Hazelden Publishing; 1 edition (September 20, 2010)
Description: Brown urges us to expose and expel our insecurities in order to have the most fulfilling life possible. Her latest is a guidebook for pilgrims on the journey to wholehearted living, which she defines as containing courage, compassion, deliberate boundaries, and connection. Zach also urges us to open our hearts, become more whole-hearted, and be vulnerable, while organizing these ideas into easy to understand and digest lessons of love.
Title: Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection
Author: John T. Cacioppo, William Patrick
Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company (August 17, 2008)
Description: University of Chicago research psychologist Cacioppo shows in studies that loneliness can be harmful to our overall well-being. The authors talk of the unique challenges of loneliness, which impairs the ability to feel trust and affection. Zach continues this logic but from a more hopeful and positive lens, using the power of love to break the spell of loneliness. By also including the poetry and spirituality of love, Zach breaks out of scientific reductionism that perpetuates separation.
Title: Love 2.0: Finding Happiness and Health in Moments of Connection
Author: Barbara Fredrickson
Publisher: Plume (January 24, 2013)
Description: Fredrickson uses her research findings to note how even more than happiness and optimism, love holds the key to improving our mental and physical health as well as lengthening our lives. Zach also includes the research of Fredrickson and emphasizes the importance of love, but rather than call if Love 2.0, the lessons provide easy to implement practices for us all to live life right here, right now.
Title: Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships
Author: Sue Johnson
Publisher: Little, Brown and Company (December 31, 2013)
Description: In this book Johnson explains that romantic love is an attachment bond, just like that between mother and child, and shows us how to develop our "love sense"--our ability to develop long-lasting relationships. While Zach agrees that we can all develop a love sense, he uses much more inclusive language around how we enter into a relationship with every person we meet, and can bring love into all of our interactions.
Title: The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself
Author: Michael Singer
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications; 1 edition (October 3, 2007)
Description: In The Untethered Soul, spiritual teacher Michael Singer explores the question of who we are and arrives at the conclusion that our identity is to be found in our consciousness, the fact of our ability to observe ourselves, and the world around us. Like Michael Singer, Zach also discussed the importance of spiritual practice, meditation, looking within, the pursuit of happiness, and discovering our our light, but from the relatable and accessible approach of love.
Writing Sample: An Open Letter to Anyone Looking for Love (Originally posed on Medium)
Maybe you’re looking for love, maybe you’re unsure if you’ll ever find it, maybe you’re in a relationship and wondering where all the love went.
Regardless, I’m here to tell you that this lack of love is not your fault. The culture we’ve grown up in has taught us all sorts of myths about love. These falsehoods prevent us from becoming the open-hearted loving individuals we were born to be.
One of these myths is the soulmate model of love, which says that romantic love between you and another individual is the most supreme form of love. It’s up to you to search the world over and find this one person.
On top of that is another myth that the chemistry of meeting your “true love” will erupt into a volcano of love for now and forever. It’s time to turn these myths on their head and look at love through a more productive lens.
This means shifting our perspective on love in three essential ways:
1. Instead of searching for that one special loving relationship, bring as much love as you can into all your relationships.
Psychologist and philosopher Eric Fromm once wrote, “without love humanity would not exist even for a day.” That’s because we all have a myriad of dynamic relationships that support our emotional well-being, from the friend we call for help to the pharmacist that takes the extra time to answer our questions.
You may have many soulmates in a lifetime and those relationships may not last forever. Your friendships may last longer than your marriage. The most important relationships in your life may not be with the people you have sex with. And that is OK.
Everyone on this planet — including yourself — is deserving of love. And everyone on this planet is deserving of your love. Once we let go of this idea of “the one,” we open ourselves up to seeing and loving everyone.
2. Instead of seeing love as a force that is out of your control, see it as an art and a practice.
We are all artists of love, but too many people refuse to pick up a paintbrush because they’re waiting to find the right picture to paint. We can only realize the tremendous potential we all have to love if we actually do something about it.
Marianne Williamson writes that we experience love as kindness, giving, forgiveness, compassion, peace, joy, acceptance, non-judgement and intimacy. Seeing love as an art and a practice means that we consciously choose to bring these qualities into our lives every day and indeed every moment.
The next time someone wrongs you, see what is between you and forgiveness. What can you do to see this person in a more positive light?
Love can show up in a million different ways in a million different forms, which means we have a million choices everyday to bring love into our lives, or not.
My advice: choose love.
3. Try falling in love not just with people, but also with places, things and activities.
I remember practicing a walking meditation during a mindfulness retreat. The instructor told us to, “act as if each and every footstep was kissing the earth.”
This made me think, “what if I attempted to take delight in everything I did?”
What if the next time you washed the dishes, you fell into LOVE while washing the dishes? What if the warm water soothed your stress, the bubbles excited your imagination, and the satisfaction of clean dishes left you feeling warm inside?
When looking for love, look for love everywhere. Fall in love with the cashier bagging your groceries, how they delicately handle your food. Fall in love with the bus driver transporting you safely home. Fall in love with the streetlamp that keeps your home secure at night. Fall in love with the way the morning sunlight cascades through the trees. Fall in love with your passions.
Your existence is such an unbelievably fantastic event in this miracle of life that the best and only real option is to become the most tender-hearted, loving and kind individual you can possibly be.
Then, you will always survive.
With radical love,