Synopsis

A healthy and continuous father-daughter relationship can set a strong foundation in a woman's romantic life. But when this relationship is nonexistent or interrupted prematurely for whatever reason, a dysfunction like none other can occur in a young woman’s life.

Research demonstrates that girls and young women who have unstable or absent father figures are more prone to unwanted pregnancy, high school and college dropout, low self-esteem, poverty, divorce, and promiscuous behavior.

Unbecome her explores the emotional turmoil fatherless daughters experience in their intimate relationships (often referred to as ‘Daddy issues’), through my personal story as a 30-year-old woman whose father brutally passed when I was only eleven years old.

Born and raised in Cameroon, I was left with 3 siblings and a single mother who worked extremely hard to make ends meet, in a patriarchal culture where widows are amongst the most vulnerable groups of society. The years following my father's death radically shaped my perception of myself as a young woman, and inevitably opened my eyes to the complex dynamics of the relationship between men and women. After receiving my high school diploma at 16, I was sent to France by my mother to pursue my studies in a private
school.

This is when the trouble began.

I navigated life in this new environment trying to find ways to cope with my loss, and began to fill the void my father’s absence had left by looking for love in all the wrong places. From dysfunctional relationships, emotional and sexual abuse, low self-worth to depression and chronic illness, I put myself through a never-ending cycle of emotional pain and self-destructive behavior. Ten years later, after hitting rock bottom, reality inevitably caught up. My emotional wounds, insecurities, thought patterns and unhealthy coping mechanisms had gradually turned me into someone I was not.

As I started going deeper into my self-exploration journey, I came to the daunting realization that my inability to see my worth, build confidence, set strong boundaries in my relationships, and ultimately make healthy decisions for myself were all symptoms of losing my father at a young age. Deep down, I felt unworthy to receive love and unable to trust men; as if a part of me subconsciously believed that the most important men in my life would eventually leave... just like my father. Like most women who grow up with so-called ‘daddy issues’, I realized that my perception of men and intimate relationships was completely distorted based on this single life event.

This powerful epiphany marked the beginning of a transformational journey that took me from brokenness to wholeness; from victimhood to radical empowerment; from fear and anger to love and forgiveness. I finally came to see that the love and validation I was so desperately seeking in my relationships with men was, and had always been, waiting to emerge inside of me.

During this journey back to myself, I went through seven important milestones, which I believe are crucial for fatherless women to heal those silent wounds:
- Unlearning: everything I thought I knew about love
- Forgiving: Myself and others
- Reclaiming: My worth in relationships and my feminine energy
- Releasing: Toxic behaviors, relationships, and thought patterns
- Healing: My physical and emotional bodies through a holistic approach
- Breaking: The cycle of trauma and raising my daughters from a place of wholeness
- Becoming: the radiant and purpose-driven woman I always knew I was meant to be.

Unbecome Her is both a memoir and a guide that teaches women how they, too, can heal their father wound and find their way back to their truest, most authentic selves.

Sales arguments

• According to a 2014 survey conducted in the US, over 50% of women reported feeling fatherless due to several circumstances including divorce, emotional absence, death or addiction. It's a global issue affecting women from different ethnic backgrounds, education levels and socioeconomic backgrounds. Many of these women are looking for guidance to heal their emotional trauma and build healthy and fulfilling relationships.
• Author published an article titled "Why We Should All Care about The Fatherless daughter syndrome" read by over 50,000 people. She continually receives comments and emails from women around the world who relate to the article, struggle in their romantic relationships, and are looking for guidance to heal their emotional wounds. The article also got the attention of a large number of men who are looking for ways to better understand their girlfriends/wives and support them in their healing journey.
• Research show women who grew up without the physical or emotional presence of a father face more challenges building and sustaining healthy relationships with men.
• Author has a combined following base of 20,000 people on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn.
• Author is an international journalist, public speaker and passionate advocate for women's health and wellness.

Similar titles

• The Fatherless Daughter Project: Understanding our losses and reclaiming our lives by Denna D. Babul and Karin Luise (2016). In this book, the authors dive deep in fatherlessness and how it impacts all areas of a women's lives. Unbecome her focuses on the journey of a fatherless daughter through the spectrum of her relationships, making it more relatable and impactful to the readers who are looking for practical ways and motivation to heal the emotional wounds caused by their father's absence.
• "Fatherless Daughters: Turning the Pain of Loss into the Power of Forgiveness" by Pamela Thomas (2009). This book explores the emotional, intellectual, and physical effects of father loss on girls. Unbecome her is a step-by-step guide based on the author's personal story of overcoming loss and healing her wound. Each chapter holds a lesson that the reader can apply to their lives.

Audience

This book is written for women of all age who grew up fatherless or lost their fathers prematurely as a result of life's circumstances. The book will provide them with the guidance, motivation and tools they need to heal their emotional wounds and thrive in their relationships.