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$25 Mermaid Snack
(1) copy of deluxe hardcover book + (1) ebook in any of the current popular ebook formats, hardcover copy signed by the author.
1 copy + ebook included
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$50 Mermaid Fast Food Drive-Thru
(2) copies of deluxe hardcover book + (1) ebook in any of the current popular ebook formats, one hardcover copy signed by the author.
2 copies + ebook included
500 of 500 left
$100 Mermaid Cafeteria Meal
(4) copies of deluxe hardcover book + (1) ebook in any of the current popular ebook formats, one hardcover copy signed by the author + (4) framable mermaid prints.
4 copies + ebook included
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$500 Mermaid Restaurant Dinner
(20) copies of deluxe hardback + (1) ebook in any of the current popular ebook formats + (10) framable mermaid prints, one hardcover book signed by author and allegedly one of the mermaids.
20 copies + ebook included
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$1000 Mermaid 3-star Michelin Dinner
(40) copies of deluxe hardback + (1) ebook in any of the current popular ebook formats + all (18) framable mermaid prints, one hardcover book signed by author and allegedly one of the mermaids.
40 copies + ebook included
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$5000 Mermaid OMG Awesome Amazing Dinner
(200) copies of deluxe hardback + (1) ebook in any of the current popular ebook formats + all (18) framable mermaid prints + 15-minute Skype call supposedly from a real mermaid but actually from a beautiful actress, one hardcover book signed by author and allegedly one of the mermaids.
200 copies + ebook included
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$10000 Mermaid Heaven Is A Place On Earth Dinner Under The Galactic Canopy of Dreams
(400) copies of deluxe hardback + (1) ebook in any of the current popular ebook formats + all (18) framable mermaid prints + weekend in Fiji all-expenses paid for mermaid spotting cruise in the beautiful warm tropical waters, one hardcover book signed by author and allegedly one of the mermaids.
400 copies + ebook included
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I've met 23 mermaids over the course of two years. We talked, laughed, shared thoughts. Nineteen of them then made me a fantastic dinner, exquisite local cuisine cooked to perfection.Share Tweet LinkedIn Embed pszr.co/WNBrx 1275 views
|Cookbooks, Food & Wine|
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Mermaids hold a special fascination for even adults. What a fun fantasy! Most of us, even the most cynical, would like to believe they are real.
But are they?
This book will not give a definitive, scientific answer to that question. What it will do is take readers to some of the most beautiful oceanside spots on the planet, provide a choice selection of splendid dinner entree recipes, and personally introduce a host of charming mermaids who have come "topside" for a little rest and relaxation.
Coming topside is what mermaids call taking some time out of the water for a vacation at one of our upscale seaside resorts. It's a very unique and special holiday for them, and truth be known, very few mermaids opt to do it. For these rare visitors, it's a time to dry off, see what we humans have come up with recently — they love our gadgets, movies, music, art, taste in home furnishings, humor, and much more — experience the luxury of a nice apartment or condo, and (drumroll) ... EAT WARM FOOD! No, there are no stoves or barbecue pits under the sea. Mermaids survive on fresh fish, kelp, and a lot of other things we probably wouldn't consider edible fare. So it's quite a treat for them to eat rice pilaf, pizza, apple pie, and other foods we take for granted. Get this. They love SpaghettiOs! I'm not even sure SpaghettiOs is food. Isn't it used to plug a leaking radiator?
Mermaids get a real kick out of what we topsiders think we know about mermaids. Disney's movie "Little Mermaid" is satire to them and they find it hysterically funny. They love "Splash" with Tom Hanks, though it doesn't really make much sense to them. But like us, they find Tom so darn cute and Darryl Hannah, of course, stunning.
Readers will discover the real revelation of this book is HOW MERMAIDS SEE US, a perspective that's both interesting and truly instructive. For example, they're very puzzled why we spend so much time and effort building things to kill each another, or destroy other things we spent a lot of time and effort building. Why we're so obsessed with age. Why we're so worried about nationality. And why we keep dumping so much plastic and other garbage in the oceans.
By the way, mermaids have a great sense of humor. They love to laugh and their humor is often irreverent and ironic.
But even more to the core purpose of this book — which is after all a fantasy/travel/COOKBOOK — many of them, certainly the ones we get to meet, are fantastic cooks. Wherever they arrive topside for holiday, they master the secrets of preparing the local cuisine.
And guess what? I've been the lucky beneficiary!
It's a long, pretty weird story. In a nutshell, the first mermaid I met on a beach in Goa in the middle of the night, eventually introduced me to several of her close friends. Over the next two years -- and I have no idea how any of this got arranged -- I was discreetly sent to their secret resort villas, met them, had fascinating conversations with each and every one of them, then was treated by each to an absolutely unforgettable dinner. In total, nineteen mermaids shared with me fantastic recipes for dishes from one end of the planet to the other: Goa, Maldives, Tuvalu, Philippines, Tasmania, Seychelles, Mauritius, Morocco, Ibiza, Greece, Puerto Rico, Dutch Antilles, Chile, Portugal, Norway, South Korea, Okinawa.
It's quite an adventure no matter how you look at it.
How many people can say they've met a real mermaid?
People who like to travel, want to believe in mermaids, who love cooking great food.
"John did a good job on this book — for a topsider. I have to say this because from what I know about them, what I've seen on TV and movies, they're usually a pretty strange bunch. But John has a good sense of humor, takes criticism well, and has an open, curious mind. And he closes his mouth when he chews." - Syn, a mermaid who lives in the South China Sea.
"My contact with dry humans — we mermaids DO consider ourselves human — has been very limited. Sometimes someone falls overboard. Or gets swept out to sea in a strong current. Dry humans seem to be pretty lousy swimmers. Oh ... and when I'm topside and order take-out, I get a glimpse of the delivery boy, or man, or girl. Whatever. Other than that, this John guy is it. He's certainly the only one who've I've sat in a room with and been in close proximity to. He smells very flowery. Strong stuff! Cologne? Underarm deodorant? Why do dry humans dowse themselves with all these stinky chemicals?" - Claudia, a mermaid who lives in the South Pacific Ocean.
"Since meeting John Rachel, I've read some of his books. Crazy guy! But fun to read. We hit it off pretty good. He looks kind of old, though. I don't get it. He's what? 60 or 70? Last time I checked, I'm over 750-years-old. I don't have any wrinkles at all." - Cassandra, a mermaid who lives the Bay of Bengal and Indian Ocean.
"This writer guy, John, kept apologizing for asking stupid questions and saying stupid things. I thought he was just being funny. But there's no reason for him to be embarrassed. I mean, EVERYTHING is different under water. I certainly have no need for a hair drier and ballpoint pens are pretty worthless. Ever try to lick a stamp at the bottom of a swimming pool? I like this book, What Do Mermaids Eat? Except the copy I took home with me only took three days to pretty much dissolve. Maybe I need a waterproof Kindle reader." - Deehl, a mermaid who lives in the chilly waters of the Tasman Sea.
"When John talked about us in his book, he said we seemed to be an 'item'. It took us a while to figure out what he meant. Honestly, we don't have all these categories for love. We're all just sisters down here. We love every mermaid we meet with the same intensity, sincerity, and passion. There's no jealousy or competition. Maybe topsiders need to change the way they look at others. It works for us. Ever seen a sad or angry mermaid?" - Tanya and Chloe, two mermaids who live in the Caribbean Sea.
"I haven't read this book. I'm very busy." - Stephen King, author of hundreds of best sellers, very rich, eccentric as hell but a lovable guy.
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