by Marcus van Der Post

Writing your story is challenging. My first book, "Hidden Addiction: Head in the Sand, Wine in the Hand," has brought about significant changes in my life and the lives of those around me. Publishing your truth is a difficult, demanding, but ultimately healing task.

Generational trauma is a trending topic, but I believe its lasting effect on our lives and the awareness of it are still underestimated.

"The Messiness That Follows"—the title of this post, and the sequel I am now working on—is a story I want to share with everyone considering, starting, or finishing their own writing journey.

Putting your words, perceptions, and experiences on paper is a powerful tool. We know communication is key, but what happens when we allow ourselves to put our deepest secrets onto the page?

A lot happens.

Many of us were raised to keep family dramas hidden. When you pick up that pen, you can feel the pressure of others involved looking over your shoulder: the living and the deceased. I often see people post the warning: "With oversharing, you lose power."

Every time I'm confronted with this concept, I wonder: Did I do the right thing? Am I not oversharing? What did it do to the people I have exposed? What is their perception?

As Brené Brown says, "Vulnerability is power. Oversharing is a desperate plea for connection that often leads to losing your power."

So, did I lose power, or did I gain some?

I can tell you this: Writing down your perception, your experience, your truth, is profoundly liberating. It grounds you, increases your self-awareness, and the time spent anchoring your truth makes the roots of your self-confidence grow deeper. But let me not romanticise this: it is hard, and we need to talk about it.

When you choose to share your truth, how do your surroundings react? Will they accept your perception, and will they understand? These questions haunt many of us who fear what others will think, and who feel responsible for their thoughts.

The greatest lesson is this: We are responsible for ourselves, not for how other people see or perceive us.

The writing and publishing of my book worked as a filter system for my relationships. Some grew more intense, some are gone, and gratefully, I have gained new and most valuable people. People who resonate with my core, who are open to analysing their own feelings, and eager to grow and learn.

The new, cleaned version of myself that came after I let go of guilt and shame has made me lighter and more connected.

Ready to Own Your Narrative?

Your story deserves to be heard, and your healing is paramount.

• 1-on-1 Coaching Session: I offer a private session that includes a signed copy of my first work, an e-book, and a dedicated online meeting to discuss your situation. If you are interested in transforming your struggles into strength, power, and wisdom, explore the details on my website.
• Webinar: If you'd like to participate in a free Webinar coming soon, please let us know!

What is your experience? Sharing is caring!