London, Paris… Euro summer of chasing romance (in a literary way, that is)

To close out my book tour, Bethany and I decided early on that the book should go international. We targeted London first because of the annual International Book Fair and the lack of a language barrier. Since Oh the Dudes That You’ll Date rhymes, it doesn’t translate as easily into other languages, though that’s not to say it couldn’t still be appreciated by second-language English speakers.

The goal was partly promotional, but also observational. I wanted to take the temperature of the international dating scene while building a more global perspective around the “dating anthropologist” angle that has started to feel like an identity after the launch of Oh The Dudes That You’ll Date. I was curious whether the American dating nightmare was uniquely American, or simply wearing different outfits abroad.

London came first, along with a commitment to spend a month there. At the beginning of the trip, I was still thinking primarily in terms of promoting the book. But midway through the flight, I started questioning the decision. What exactly was I doing in London? Even with the London Book Fair ahead, I wasn’t sure Oh the Dudes That You’ll Date translated into “international author” territory, or how the book itself would be received outside the U.S.

But somewhere over the Atlantic, something shifted. A casual conversation with my seatmate turned into a surprisingly detailed briefing from a 27-year-old Londoner about how terrible London dating is, and how relevant my book might actually be there. More importantly, it became a catalyst for something beyond the book itself. Little did I realize, this conversation would quickly evolve into an entire cultural analysis of London dating before I had even landed at Heathrow.

Still, twelve hours later, jet-lagged and disoriented, the trip was beginning to feel like one of the more chaotic and risky decisions I had made. But not long after arriving, the purpose of my time there started to emerge, and with it, clarity.

By day three, I had received interest from a UK publication for a potential piece contrasting American dating culture with the London dating scene, and suddenly the month had context again. A loose framework started forming around what this next chapter of work could become.

The shift from parody author to culture writer documenting modern dating was not immediately obvious to me. But after connecting with local singles, going on a few dates, and gathering intel from people navigating the scene firsthand, it became clear this was not only a niche worth pursuing, but one that felt strangely innate to me. More importantly, it sparked the realization that there may actually be an entirely new book beginning to take shape.

As I wrote in my London piece, the dating scene absolutely provided material. Not in a “tea is hot” way, but more in a “dating is unfortunately still dating” way, just with different accents. The apps have permeated the culture there to a remarkable degree. My observation, at least in London, was that many British men seem more comfortable arranging connections digitally than initiating them in person.

Of course, every city has its own social rhythms, and no experience is universal. But there does seem to be a certain reserve embedded in British social interaction that shapes dating differently from the American cities I know well.

The trip made one thing clear: there is more perspective to gather, and more lived context needed for the third book now quietly forming in the background. So naturally, I decided to continue the research in another country.

Now I find myself in Paris, in a one-bedroom flat in the 11th arrondissement, surrounded by young Parisians and the hum of something that feels slightly more romantique.

Paris has already shifted the tone entirely. In just a few days, the final stop of the book tour, at least for book two, has felt cinematic. It took one glimpse of the Eiffel Tower sparkling at night to fully enchant me.

I do not speak French, though I am learning as I go, especially the language surrounding intimacy and romance as it diverges from English. There is something fascinating in how closeness is expressed here, even through fragments of conversation and half-understood phrases.

For now, I’ll keep following the thread. What began as a tour for Oh the Dudes That You’ll Date has evolved into something much larger: the early stages of a third book, an autofiction memoir, and potentially a series documenting this strange intersection of travel, romance, performance, and modern connection.