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Dating "Disability"

Emily Goodson

Intimacy issues are widespread.

What if being a person with a disability made you more equipped to thrive in intimate relationships, rather than inhibited you?

And what if the skills I've learned from my lifelong physical disability could help all of us have stronger intimate relationships?

  Sex & Relationships   50,000 words   50% complete   6 publishers interested
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272 preorders
$5,830.00 funded

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Synopsis

An April 2024 article in Time magazine stated that “Modern dating means learning how to be comfortable with being uncomfortable, standing firmly in your beliefs, and navigating the beliefs of others in very politically divided times”. 

As a woman with a physical disability, one of the things I learned early in life was to be comfortable with the uncomfortable - the discomfort that came from living in a world with systems not designed for me, and the discomfort of growing up with people physically staring at me.

When we look at the disabled population and dating specifically, a 2020 study in Denmark found that “participants with a disability (physical, mental, or both) reported significantly lower levels of sexual activity and satisfaction than participants without a disability. “

Significantly lower levels of sexual activity and satisfaction have been my experience in life - primarily due to the shame I experienced around my disability. 

As I moved past the shame I felt around my disability, however, I grew a powerful emotional toolkit that will benefit anyone looking to improve their intimate relationships. 

We know that divorce rates are skyrocketing because what’s needed to be intimate in today’s day and age is radically different than before. We also know that TikTok is filled with videos of people complaining about the dating landscape in the US. 

However, despite the evident problem, very few of us know how to improve our intimacy skills to address the emotional complexity of living.

In Dating “Disability”, I will use my personal stories to change that reality. I will share what I have had to overcome in my life since becoming physically disabled at age 8 and how all of us would be better served in intimate relationships by practicing the emotional intelligence skills I have learned. 

Sales arguments

  • I am dedicated to increasing media representation of characters and leaders with disabilities through my writing, speaking engagements, Instagram, LinkedIn, and YouTube channels.
  • I have co-written a feature screenplay that explores intimacy and sexuality from the perspective of a female protagonist with a disability. I also wrote one of the first columns published on dating and disability in the LA Times in February 2022, "I'm a Disabled Woman. Is That a Dating Dealbreaker?"
  • I have taught and curated several courses exploring intimacy and disability in production environments through Intimacy Professionals Association.
  • My corporate keynote about emotionally responding to a disability has received 130k views and over 1 million impressions on YouTube.
  • I am in-demand speaker on minimizing disability stigma, increasing inclusion, and maximizing emotional intelligence skills. I have facilitated workshops and talks with US government offices, elementary and middle schools, start-up environments, and corporations.

Similar titles

  • Disability Intimacy: Essays on Love, Care, and Desire, by Alice Wong in 2024; ISBN - 9780593469736
  • Emotional Intelligence for a Better Life, by Brandon Goleman in 2019; ISBN - 9781077972131
  • You Are Your Best Thing: Vulnerability, Shame Resilience, and the Black Experience by Tarana Burke (Editor), Brené Brown (Editor) in 2021; ISBN - 9780593243633

Audience

This book is written for adults, regardless of ability, sexual orientation, or relationship status, who want to improve intimacy and emotional intelligence skills with themselves or others. It is also written for those who want to overcome any type of unwarranted shame. One of my goals is to model "shame-busting" behaviors and stories in an effort to help others move through painful experiences quicker than I did.

Emily Goodson

About the author

At age 8, Emily experienced a childhood brain injury, resulting in partial paralysis on the left side of her body. After this injury, Emily faced a host of emotional and physical challenges, achieved significant recovery, and emerged empowered to educate others.

Emily's creative work has been featured in the LA Times as well as in several photo gallery exhibits, sponsored by Disability Rights Now and the Bold Beauty Project.

In addition to these endeavors, Emily provides consulting services to help organizations, ranging from start-ups to major production companies, build inclusive workplaces. She has also helped curate and design curriculums for Intimacy Professionals Association.

http://www.ecgoodson.com
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Golden Dragonfly Press

Looking for personal growth, mind & body, poetry, and spirituality. Golden Dragonfly Press is a small publishing house located in Amherst, Massachusetts. Our mission is to publish beautiful, visionary, and transformational work. We look for fiction, non-fiction, and poetry titles with Body, Mind & Spirit themes. The founder is disabled. She was diagnosed with a rare autoimmune disease called Systemic Scleroderma.

Traditional publisher Worldwide 8 categories
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Ballast Books

250 copies • Partial manuscript.
Ballast Books is a full-service hybrid publisher that handles all aspects of book creation, design, publishing, marketing, distribution, and platform building. We help our authors sell more books, secure more keynotes, do more consulting, earn more customers, and book more media appearances.

We want to work with the best of the best: Former Special Operations Forces, CEOs, big thinkers, industry-leading experts. Top-performing people with experiences worth sharing and skills that translate into a larger message and goal.

We've seen particular success with military memoirs, but we've also recently hired a children's book specialist, so we run the spectrum of genres. We're a small but growing team and take pride in dedicating more time and energy to all our authors than traditional publishers.

Hybrid publisher , United States All categories
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Disruption Books

250 copies • Partial manuscript.
Disruption Books is a hybrid publisher of innovative nonfiction that will start conversations, shift perspectives, and influence outcomes. Our books present big ideas from leaders in diverse fields such as politics, philanthropy, business, and activism.

Hybrid publisher Worldwide 11 categories
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1106 Design, LLC

Dear Author,

You worked hard to write your manuscript; finally, it's ready to release. You know that expert assistance is needed, but perhaps you didn’t realize that working with a publisher is no longer necessary—especially publishers who charge fees to produce your book upfront and "share" more of your revenue whenever a book is sold.

1106 Design is an author services company. We offer all the editorial and design services you’d expect from a publisher, transforming your manuscript into a market-ready book. But here's the difference: we help you secure print-on-demand printing and worldwide distribution in your name. This means you earn several dollars more for every book sold instead of a meager “royalty.”

We understand that your book is not just a passion project but also a potential source of income. That's why we offer a range of services tailored to your needs at affordable prices. Depending on your manuscript's word count and complexity, our packages range from $4,000 to $10,000. And here's the best part: after this one-time investment, every penny of net revenue from book sales goes directly to you, never to us.

If this sounds like a better way to publish your book, I invite you to browse our services, design samples, no-surprises pricing, outstanding customer reviews, and educational articles at https://1106design.com. You can download a free PDF of my book, "Publish Like the Pros: A Brief Guide to Quality Self-Publishing and an Insider's Look at a Misunderstood Industry," and request a free, no-obligation consultation.

1106 Design has been in business since 2001 and is rated A+ by the Better Business Bureau. We are a “Highly Recommended Expert” at IngramSpark.com and rated "Excellent" at Alli, The Alliance for Independent Authors, at SelfPublishingAdvice.org, where you can find a "watchdog list" of the best and worst publishing services companies.

How can we serve you today?

Sincerely,
Michele DeFilippo, owner

Service publisher Worldwide 53 categories
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Bright Communications LLC

Looking for all types of books, including fiction, children's books, health, memoir, business books, and cookbooks
Bright Communications LLC is a woman- and veteran-owned custom publisher in Hellertown, PA. Founding CEO Jennifer Bright is a Book Doula, whose passion is helping authors bring their books to life. Our team of expert editorial, design, and marketing pros help authors go from idea to completed books and retain 100% of the rights to their work. We also offer four custom publishing packages and a $1900 self-publishing assist program.

Service publisher United Kingdom, Canada, United States 60 categories
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eBooks2go

100 copies • Completed manuscript.
eBooks2go, Inc. was founded in 2011 to provide the missing link for all your publishing needs. Our end-to-end solutions provide the guidance and support that enable publishers and independent authors to pursue their passions. To date, we have helped more than 750 authors and 100 publishers worldwide. We offer an array of simple and affordable solutions to assist self-publishing authors at every stage of the book publishing process. Our comprehensive service offering includes editing, print and eBook production, book marketing, cover designs, ISBN registration, and even website designs. We are a single source for all of your publishing needs.

Service publisher Worldwide 22 categories
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Book Structure

Introduction

  • In this section, I will introduce myself and bring awareness to the intersectionality and spectrum of disability. 
  • I'll provide context that I can only speak from my own experience (i.e. not all people with disabilities experience shame or intimacy problems as I did).
  • I will also shed light on the narrow definition of "intimacy" in pop culture to get the audience aligned that intimacy is more than sex. 

Part 1: Intimacy Problems

  • In this section, I will tell the story of the brain injury I experienced as a child, explain the physical ramifications, and how my problems with intimacy and my emotions manifested growing up.
  • I will also provide personal anecdotes of what happened when I tried to pursue intimacy with others and how and why I ignored my disability as a child and adult in my 20s.
  • Lastly, I will give context to the systemic contributors to my intimacy problems and shame, namely a lack of representation in the media and adequate mental health resources.

Part 2: The Other Side of Fear

  • In this section, I'll tell my story of what overcoming shame during the pandemic looked like - including vignettes from my coaching, internal dialogue, and external decisions. I'll also discuss why publishing a column in the LA Times was a monumental move in my journey.
  • I'll use the chapters in this section to describe how I became a better friend and intimate partner once I owned and loved all the parts of myself.
  • I'll close this section by discussing how I started to refine “disability” for myself, realizing it made me stronger in relationships versus what society was telling me.

Part 3: My Intimacy Toolkit 

  • I will close the book with an explanation of the mental, emotional, and physical tools I used in my journey to overcome the shame I experienced around my disability and lack of dating and sexual history.
  • I'll provide examples and strategies around each tool to drive the reader to take action in their own lives.
  • This section will segue the audience into the next iteration of this book, which will be a companion journal with exercises and inspiration (to be released ideally in 2026).

Excerpt

Section - Introduction 

Chapter  1 - A roadmap

Quote page - “The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives.” - Ester Perel

“Flirting is literally one of my favorite things on earth. Why in the world would I give that over to a bot?!” I declared to a romantic crush over text.

My crush hit right back with “says the virgin,” sarcastically hinting at the consideration that if I perhaps engaged an AI bot, I would not be single in my late thirties, at the time only having experienced oral sex with one partner. 

I have lived with a visible, physical disability for the majority of my life. When I was eight years old, a clump of blood vessels started bleeding in my brain stem. Upon removal, this eruption left me partially paralyzed on the left side of my body and unable to speak. 

Aside from sizable physical effects, the bleed caused extensive emotional damage in my life which plagued my dating and sexual life for years. My desire to flirt and for a boyfriend was not a fair match for the depths of emotional scar tissue. 

“I’m a Disabled Woman. Is That a Dating Dealbreaker?” was not only the title of a column I published in the LA Times but a question I asked myself for years. The hard truth I came to face in my thirties, single, and never had a boyfriend, was that I was making it a dealbreaker because of my internalized shame over my sexuality and disability. And back to the biting jest of one of my former crushes, having fun with flirting was only something I could do once I perfected the internal game necessary for dating. 

Before we go further, I want to make clear that this is not a sob story I’m sharing with you. I don’t want anyone to feel any amount of sorrow or pity for me because I live one of the most amazing lives I know. While I unconsciously followed emotional patterns that kept me single in my 20s and early 30s, I also made very conscious choices to stay celibate for several years in my 30s because I knew that was most aligned with what I wanted out of life. 

This book will discuss my journey from fearing to thriving on intimacy. One of the big things I have learned in my journey is that most of us struggle with intimacy. I wasn't alone growing up even though I may have felt like it. And my problems, as much as I thought they were, weren’t because I walked differently. They had much more to do with what I thought about myself walking differently. 

I wanted to write this book to give others a roadmap of behaviors that have helped me. Behaviors and mental frameworks that I wish someone had given me as a teenager and young woman.

Please log in to comment.

  • Nathalie Rose
    on July 8, 2024, 3:15 p.m.

    So wonderful and can’t wait to read!

    • Emily Goodson
      on July 9, 2024, 12:15 p.m.

      Thank you for being one of my first pre-orders! I really appreciate you and your family :)

  • Theresa Fesinstine
    on July 9, 2024, 3:05 p.m.

    Emily,

    I am here for this entire journey with you. I am so excited for you as an aspiring author myself I am really going to be watching closely to learn lessons from you, as I have in the past.

    I just seriously can’t wait for your message to get out to the general public and will be supporting you in any way I possibly can

    • Emily Goodson
      on July 9, 2024, 3:26 p.m.

      Yes! We will have big chats about the whole process and I can't wait to share all I'm learning!

  • Andrew Ekelem
    on July 10, 2024, 4:38 a.m.

    Looking forward to reading your prolific positive energy!

    • Emily Goodson
      on July 10, 2024, 10:44 a.m.

      Thank you! I hope you are great and loving Nashville!! I hope we can catch up more soon!

  • Cathrine Winblad
    on July 11, 2024, 9:11 a.m.

    All the best! Being an author is amazing, and I wish it will open doors for you and influence others in the best way possible!

  • Tay Leppik
    on July 16, 2024, 4 p.m.

    Can’t wait to read this! You go girl!!

    • Emily Goodson
      on July 17, 2024, 1:01 p.m.

      Tay!!! SoulCycle fam - love you and thanks for your support!!

  • Tiffany Tate
    on July 17, 2024, 7:58 p.m.

    Congratulations Emily! Can’t wait to read your book. - Tiffany Tate

  • Tiffany Tate
    on July 17, 2024, 7:58 p.m.

    Congratulations Emily! Can’t wait to read your book. - Tiffany Tate

  • debra mason
    on July 17, 2024, 9:50 p.m.

    So so proud of you my friend🥰

    • Emily Goodson
      on July 22, 2024, 12:55 p.m.

      Thank you, as always, for your support for all these years :)

  • Katie Steffee
    on July 26, 2024, 1:26 a.m.

    So excited for you and this incredibly journey your on Emily! Wishing you much success on the journey.

    All the best,
    Katie Steffee

  • Donna Brown
    on July 26, 2024, 12:40 p.m.

    A whole book of Emily's wisdom? Count me in!

  • Debi Warren
    on Aug. 4, 2024, 5:05 p.m.

    Hi Emily. I am thrilled to read your book once published. I have a publisher I recommend you researching. Morgan James Publishing Company. They were established in Newport News. They have offices across the us and the globe. Contact me at 757-291-3324.

  • Tricia Edwards
    on Aug. 4, 2024, 6:16 p.m.

    This is a great idea and I know there will be lots of demand. Way to go Emily!!
    Lots of love,
    Tricia Edwards

  • Eric Thompson
    on Aug. 5, 2024, 2:06 p.m.

    Best of luck with your launch. Thanks for the courage to tell the story

  • Maryann Farnsworth
    on Aug. 5, 2024, 8:49 p.m.

    Thanks for helping everyone have a full life!

    • Emily Goodson
      on Aug. 14, 2024, 6:55 p.m.

      So lovely to meet you and thank you for all the support! I look forward to more dinners!

  • Kelsey Woodard
    on Aug. 13, 2024, 8:11 p.m.

    Excited that you're publishing a book, and can't wait to read it!! :)

    • Emily Goodson
      on Aug. 14, 2024, 6:54 p.m.

      I love all of our Denver adventures - thank you for the support!

  • Casey Boyles
    on Aug. 13, 2024, 10:13 p.m.

    Emily we haven't met yet but I am an SF Chapter Lead for the CultureFirst community, I just got Jessie's email so I signed up to get a copy and shared this with our disability focused ERG at my company - can't wait to read it!

    • Emily Goodson
      on Aug. 14, 2024, 6:53 p.m.

      So nice to meet virtually!! Thank you for your support and I hope we get to meet in-person at some point.

  • Catherine Tansey
    on Aug. 19, 2024, 4:54 p.m.

    How exciting -- Can't wait to read it, Emily!

    • Emily Goodson
      on Aug. 27, 2024, 8:20 p.m.

      Thank you for advocating for me, my thought leadership, and my writing! I appreciate our partnership :)

  • Herbert Bateman
    on Sept. 21, 2024, 12:36 a.m.

    Loved your note . We are so proud of you. You are such a role model and a leader. We miss you too.

    You are a true legacy. Keep on being you. We love watching you shine.

    Love

    Mary and Bert

  • Herbert Bateman
    on Sept. 21, 2024, 12:40 a.m.

    We loved your note. We are so proud of you. You are such a role model and leader. We miss you too.
    You are a true legacy. Keep on being you. We love watching you shine.

    Love
    Mary and Bert

Rewards

$25

Early Reader Copy

57 readers

Receive a digital and printed copy of Dating "Disability"

Includes:

  • 1 digital copy
  • 1 physical copy
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$40

Signed Copy

44 readers

Receive a digital and signed printed copy of Dating "Disability" from Emily

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  • 1 digital copy
  • 1 physical copy
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$100

Donate 10 Copies to Health Organizations

14 readers

Emily will donate 10 copies of Dating “Disability” to hospital libraries, VA clinics, and other mental health and intimacy focused organizations.

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  • 1 digital copy
  • 10 physical copies
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$200

5 Signed Books + Invite to the NYC Book Launch Party

6 readers

Receive 5 signed printed books of Dating "Disability" from Emily plus 1 invitation to the private book launch party in NYC

Includes:

  • 5 physical copies
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$5000

200 Books + Facilitated Workshop

0 readers

Receive 200 printed books plus a 90-minute Disability Employment Awareness Month workshop that Emily will facilitate for your organization in October 2024.

Includes:

  • 200 physical copies
Free shipping