Synopsis

At every moment of our life emotions are ruling our behavior. Whether we are happy or sad, angry or fearful emotions are playing an important social role, having the major influence on our perception of the World and our communication styles. 
Successful communication, mutual understanding, and agreement are the keys to success in nearly all areas of life. 
Each of us is continuously negotiating, compromising, imposing, fighting for own interests and trying to build up or retain various relationships. 

How much are you aware of your emotional state and non-verbal signals that you are sending to the opponent during the conversation? 

How much are you aware of the emotional state of the opponent and how constructively are you dealing with it?

What are the cultural differences and what is the impact they have on the course of a conversation?

What are other psychological aspects able to distort objective view on a situation and how to overcome those?

Decades of psychological research has thorough answers to all of these questions. 

This book is aiming to make this knowledge accessible to the reader by:

- Explaining science in simple terms and illustrating it by real-life and fiction stories.
- Supporting development by providing powerful exercises for bringing up emotional awareness. 
- Offering a framework for enhancing communication skills. 

This guide will be a break through the wall of unawareness towards an understanding of unconscious influences and will change your life for the better.   

Outline

1. Introduction.

Why this book is written, for whom and how to use it.

2. Emotions Defined.

What do we call emotions?

This chapter covers definitions of emotions, its' importance, and influence on our life and disputes around it. 

3. Emotions: reasons and mechanisms.

Why are we getting emotional? What triggers emotional states and is it possible to interfere with it? Does it depend on personality, culture, and education? This chapter answers these questions and discusses the evolutionary development of emotional states and ways of dealing with it. 

4. 7 Universal emotions.

Does everyone experience emotions in the same way? Is it possible to read the emotions of others? This chapter describes distinctive emotional markers and provides exercises for recognizing the 7 universal emotions in self.

5. Display rules. 

Boys don’t cry. Girls don’t get angry. This chapter covers social rules that influence our expression of emotions. 

6. Regrettable quarrels.

Why can we go off the limits in our anger expression? Why do we do things and say words we regret after? This chapter sheds light on mechanisms that drive regrettable behavior and provides tips and exercises that help to take it under control.

7. Guilt vs Shame.

Did you make a mistake, or are you a mistake?

This chapter outlines the fundamental difference between shame and guilt and explains how to deal with it in a constructive way.

8. Fears and phobias.

Where do they come from and how to deal with them? This chapter is dedicated to the advantages and limitations of fear in our lives and suggests ways of dealing with it.

9. Sadness - the call for help.

Should they know how sad you are?

This chapter discusses an importance of sadness expression in our lives and problems of its social acceptance.

10. Tricky pleasures.

Can money buy happiness?

This chapter covers the question of the ways we are dealing with pleasure and discusses Happiness vs Contempt.

11. Speaking about emotions.

How do you feel? How do you let others know?

This chapter is talking about the words we use to describe our emotional states, about the use of emojis in written conversations and the benefits of extended emotional vocabulary. 

12. Memory.

Do you remember the time..? Do you really?

This chapter explains a connection between emotions and memory and why it’s all not what it seems.

13. Invisible interlocutor.

Do you know who always stays invisible to you in any conversation?

This chapter is dedicated to 5 communication channels, attentiveness, and self-awareness.

14. Stories about biases.

Why do we think we are right, while we are not?

This chapter illustrates most common biases and gives tips on how to recognize it in self and do not let it drive the behavior.

15. Emotionally charged conversations.

Are you ready for that talk or are you prepared?

This chapter discusses the pitfalls of emotionally charged conversations and provides a framework for handling them better. 

16. 2-1-4  A harmony of emotional being.

This chapter summarizes the role of emotions in our lives and gives practical advises of reaching the harmony. 

Audience

There are about 1 billion english speakers in a World (both native and non-native) and all of them engage in conversations on a daily bases. Moreover, in the last decades there is a growing trend of creating multicultural environments that increase communication challenge. 

Who could benefit the most out of this book?

- Human Resources managers

- People managers

Stress and burnout have become an increasing and often-discussed phenomenon over the last decade. According to statistic presented by Forbes, 30% of the cases is a result of the poor management and 26% is due to negative workplace culture. 

Besides being responsible for well being and development of others, people managers have to deal with potentially stressful, emotionally charged conversations on a daily basis: providing feedback, hiring and firing, trying to prevent and resolve conflicts within teams and many others. Enhanced knowledge in this area will help to run teams more effectively, oversee and prevent burnouts. 

- School teachers

Similarly, according to American Federation of Teachers (2015), 73% of teachers  reported they are “often” under stress. On a daily basis teachers are dealing with children and teenagers, who are often not able to express and understand their own emotions. This may result in an inadequate or conflictual behaviour. This book will help teaches to recognise driving factors and emotions of students from non-verbal cues, become more aware of their own emotional state and its impact on the classroom atmosphere and handle it better.  

- Young people who are just starting their carriers

The forecast for youth unemployment World wide for 2019 is as high as 200 million. In the UK only, this number is fluctuating around 0,5 million. There is tough competition among youth for available vacancies. Emotional Intelligence, defined as an ability to recognise, understand and use emotions effectively, gives a significant advantage in job applications, interviews and fast career growth. 

Promotion

- extended business network in Linkedin (700 connections)

- Network of trainers and coaches in a relevant area (20)

- Partnership with social media influences with over 10K followers

- Former trainees as a promoters 

Competition

What differentiates this book from existing competition, is that it explains science in simple terms and focuses on communication and practical application. 

Andersen P.A., Guerrero L.K. (1997) Handbook of communication and emotion. San Diego: Academic Press

Ekman, P. (2007). Emotions revealed. New York: Henry Holt.

Ekman, P. (2009). Telling lies. New York: W.W. Norton.

Smith T. W. (2015) The Book of Human Emotions: From Ambiguphobia to Umpty - 154 Words from Around the World for How We Feel. New York: Little, Brown and Company

Barrett, L. F. (2017) How Emotions are made: Secret life of the brain. London: Pan MacMillan