Tonya Whittle, Chief Wild Woman, is a wisdom keeper, inspirational speaker, thought leader, coach and behaviour expert blending modern strategies with ancient wisdom to help people overcome emotional and mindset blocks that prevent them from living to the fullest. Her motto is “do more than exist”; that life is here to be lived fully. Having overcome childhood trauma, Tonya understands fully the concept of just getting by. Using the very strategies she teaches, she reclaimed her power in life and helps others do the same. It’s less about what happened to you and more about what you do about it.
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One Woman's Journey of Unf*cking Her Life
A woman's journey of facing and healing her past to find redemption for herself so she could reclaim her own wild soul and embrace the wild woman within.Share Tweet LinkedIn Embed pszr.co/vOCmb 16375 views
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Unchained is the story of coming undone from a life that looked good on the outside, a constant striving for perfection, to be enough in a world that encourages us to be silent about our struggles in order to be accepted, fit in, be enough.
A series of painful, yet awakening me from my slumber, events led to me asking questions about my life, how it had gotten all messed up. This isn't how it was supposed to be. Life can't only be about struggling, suffering and dying. There has to be more to life.
In this book I take you on the journey of the 10 steps of coming undone from life's conditioning, early childhood trauma, becoming what everyone told me to be, finding myself on an extraordinary journey through the dark night of the soul to find myself, and becoming unchained from my past, turning my worst days into the foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
This story takes you on your own journey, questions what you believe and takes you on an extraordinary experience of what happens when we choose to heal our lives and take the heroine's journey to find the wild woman inside.
Inside of each of us is a wild woman, a part of us that knows the way, that knows the next right move, the next step. She knows the truth and she's been suffocated under the need to be pleasing, nice and conforming to societies demands of a woman.
The purpose of Unchained is to show you what's possible when you choose to heal, when you choose to step out of the box that society has put you in. When you choose to get outside of the normal, everyday suffocating reality that we exist in, we can find deeper meaning, deeper healing in the trauma's that we've endured in life, when we unleash the wild woman who has been sleeping too long.
Wild woman is our instincts, our worth, our intuition, our soul, our warrior, our goddess all wrapped into one.
Life is going to be challenging. It's life. Bad things will happen to people. I've learned on my journey that the easy thing to do in life is to create walls, to push people away, to hold ourselves back, to distrust. The hard part is to find a way to heal, to trust, to love, to open, to be ourselves in a world that constantly tells us to be someone or something else.
Unchained is the journey of getting it all unfucked, because for most of us, we've had a lot of stuff happen that causes us to operate from fear, trauma, coping, triggers. Unchaining ourselves from that is not only possible, it's necessary.
In order to live a thriving life we must come home to our wildness, our own soul, our own passion and purpose, to find who we really are under all that we've been buried under, pushing free to the surface, gulping in air that you've denied yourself so long as you rise from the ashes, hearing and answer the battle cry.
Chapter 1: Prologue - The call came like I knew it would. There's only so long a person can run from their past before it catches up.
Chapter 2: Breaking Down - our biggest fears are right in front of us, being messy, being needy, being unable to recover. I spent my life putting together a facade, an image to cover up my broken bits, and now it was falling away as I desperately tried to keep it back, like an over stuffed closet, my pieces were spread everywhere.
Chapter 3: Breakdown- there comes a point where the flood can no longer be contained. The force of what's behind the dam comes bursting out and there's a sinking to the knees that is heart wrenching, terrifying, and yet freeing in the same moment. There is no more pretending, no more denying as the decades of self denial, self hate, and pretending wash over you, leaving you unable to get off the floor.
Chapter 4: Rock Bottom - In the breakdown you think you've hit you've hit your lowest point, but you realize you haven't. As you try to get up before being ready, before facing it all, before dealing with it all, it pulls you back down. When you're at rock bottom, you know it, it's a cold lonely place but there is solace in that pain. At least I can feel something, after the decades of not feeling at all, that's better than numb.
Chapter 5: The dark night of the soul - As it turns out rock bottom has a basement. When I was strong enough to finally face it, to sort through it all, to pick up the pieces, as I examined my life today and it had links to my denial of my past, my stories, my inability to face the truth of who knew and did nothing, the truth of how little I expected for myself, and how hard I was on myself. The dark night was a twisted, excorism style spewing of all the rage, the anger, the shame, the fear mixed into one stinking pile that caused both pain and freedom.
Chapter 6: The Rise: You think the storm will never end, that you'll be stuck in this mess forever, that the darkness will be your life forever. I found myself constantly wishing I had never started this journey. But I was reminded that I didn't do it intentionally. I would have been happy to live a blissed out life of denial. But that was not my journey in my life. And the storm clouds passed. I didn't trust it at first but there was sun again and I knew the worst was over.
Chapter 7: The Finding - Now I had a fresh start. Who was I? What did I like? What did I want? I had fresh eyes, fresh understanding, a new outlook on life and realized I had the opportunity to create my life. What would I find?
Chapter 8: The Being - finding yourself is one thing, being it is another. As I emerged from this dark phase and began to change, I was met with backlash, lack of understanding, negativity from those around me who no longer understood me. I could see how easy it was to retreat behind those walls. And I danced that game - seeing clearly why we do that - we change to be more comfortable, more accepted, fit in.
Chapter 9: The Reclaiming - Through all of the challenges, we're guided to find ourselves, to be ourselves and reclaim all the parts of us we lost as we grew up, coping the only way we knew how.
Chapter 10- Unchained - Becoming unchained is about more than learning, it's about doing, applying, implementing every day, not allowing ourselves to be groomed or conditioned. It is following the code of our soul in the wild woman manifesto to be who we really are, a fully reclaimed woman, in her power.
Audience is women, who have felt the oppression of conditioning, the #metoo movement, the women who have felt conditioned, silenced, back into a corner to be demure, pretty, pleasing. Women who are fed up with playing nice and being silenced and shushed... it's for the warriors, the change makers, the freedom seekers, the witches, the holy bit*ches, the wisdom keepers, the wild ones, the free spirits, the tribe... it's for women who have known the pain of "her place" and who are shirking their chains, dropping their lipstick and pearls and picking up their swords, their worth and their power. It is for the new paradigm of women who are coming... rising up... with the sisterhood to usher in a new time.
An award winning author has offered to do the foreword for my book. I have an email list of 1400 + and a social media following of 4000+.
I have spoken at One Woman Fearless, Mo Monday's, hosted International Women's Retreats, been published in the Elephant Journal, and a regular speaker at corporate events.
I have been interviewed by CBC Morning Show as well as CBC Newfoundland & Labrador.
Eat Pray Love , one woman's journey to find everything across Italy, India and Indonesia. Elizabeth Gilbert. Riverhead Books, 2007. Eat Pray Love is a book about a woman's journey to find herself as she left home, sold everything and went on a journey. My book is a woman's journey but I stayed home, I did my work without needing to run away and I cover deeper topics that really dig into the truth of who we are, what we want and our soul.
Wild - From lost to found on the Pacific Crest Trail. Cheryl Strayed. Vintage Books, 2013. A story of a woman's journey to find herself after her mothers death, facing her demons as she set out on a solo journey on the pacific crest trail. My book follows a similar, deeper, soul journey but one that was taken while I still lived my life... a search while still cooking dinner, doing laundry, and working. But it follows a similar woman's journey through trauma to ultimately arrive at her soul's destination, healed, but it looks more like the everyday woman's struggle of wanting to run away but being unable so finding the way to still have the journey and the life change without needing to physically leave.
Courage - Igniting self confidence. Debbie Ford. Harper One, 2014. A woman's journey through addiction, overcoming shame to find her true power. Mine is less about addiction and more about the all encompassing shame, overwhelm, trauma that we live in and manage, somehow, to be functioning in the world.
Women Who Run With The Wolves. Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype. Classita Pinola Estes. Ballantine Books, Reissue Edition, 1996. An integral piece for the wild woman, this book is filled with myths, stories and legends to change a woman's life. My book is also deeply embedded in the spiritual aspects of shamanism, wild women culture and myth but is written in a way every woman can read and relate to. Women Who Run can be confusing for many where as my book is a simpler read for the everyday woman who is seeking to unleash her own inner wild woman.
The Truth Heals. What you hide can hurt you. Deborah King. Hay House, 2010. The unbridled conversation about sexual abuse, how hiding what happens to us creates a toxic life. Deborah's book is a profound and easy read. My book is less focused on the details of abuse and more focused on how my abuse caused me to create a life that was toxic, unhealthy and where I wasn't important and the bringing down of that life to build a new one in a way that is relatable.
Black Rose Writing
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Koehler Books is an Indie publisher based in Virginia Beach, Virginia. Our team of dedicated professionals promises you a holistic publishing experience where you'll receive our full attention, collaboration and coaching every step of the way. We offer two publishing models: a traditional non-fee model for the highest quality work, as well as a co-publishing model that includes creative development fees for emerging authors.
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eBooks2go, Inc., was founded in 2011 to provide the missing link for all your publishing needs. Our end-to-end solutions provide the guidance and support that enable publishers and independent authors to pursue their passions. To date, we have helped more than 750 authors and 100 publishers worldwide.
Elite Online Publishing
Write, Publish & Market Your Book to Build Your Business & Brand. Author Joshua Evans, Went from a Salesman to a # 1 Bestselling Author & paid Speaker making $12,000 per speech. Become a Bestseller! Over 50 Authors have become #1 Bestsellers with Elite Online Publishing. Owners Melanie Johnson & Jenn Foster are both 10x Bestselling authors and have published over 1700 books authored under their own imprint on Amazon. We are experts at MARKETING your story.
Canada, The Bahamas, United States
We are a full service book publishing company that works closely with independent authors in every phase of writing/editorial, book production, book marketing, and book distribution. Our roster includes bestselling authors who have previously traditionally published, first time authors, and authors at various levels in between.
Morgan James Publishing has revolutionized book publishing—from the author’s standpoint.
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1106 Design, LLC
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24by7publishing.com is India's most creative book publishing platform where the authors control all the major decisions. It helps authors to run his book publishing project as the CEO for his venture. 24by7publishing.com supports the authors by providing all the related services including editing, proofreading, typesetting, formatting, printing, publishing, distributing, promoting etc. Authors are entitled with up to 100% roylaty profit share.
Atmosphere Press is an independent full-service publisher for books in genres ranging from non-fiction to fiction to poetry to children's picturebooks, with a special emphasis on being an author-friendly approach to getting a book into the world. We're professional, honest, and kind.
Based in Minneapolis, Minnesota, Bookmobile provides book printing, graphic design, and other resources to support book publishers in an ever-changing environment. Superior quality, excellent customer service, flexibility, and timely turnarounds have attracted nearly 1,000 satisfied clients to Bookmobile, including trade houses, university presses, independent publishers, museums, galleries, artists, and more.
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Colborne Communications is a professional editing and publishing services company based in Toronto. Since 1977, we have been providing editing, writing, proofreading, indexing, and research services to a variety of individual, corporate, and government clients, including all of Canada's major publishers.
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Crescendo Publishing is a boutique-style, concierge VIP publishing company assisting entrepreneur authors with writing, publishing, and promoting their books for the purposes of lead-generation and achieving global platform growth, then monetizing it for even more income opportunities.
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Gladiator Publishing Company
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Happy Self Publishing
We have helped 250+ authors to get their books self-published, hit the #1 position in the Amazon bestseller charts and also establish their author website & brand to grow their business. And the best thing is, we do all this without taking away your rights and royalties. Our publishing packages start at $699! Let's schedule a call to discuss the next steps in your book project: www.happyselfpublishing.com/scheduler
The call came, like I knew it would. While I never thought much about it consciously, it was always there.
At that time, I faced the news like I did everything in my life – push it away. Look like I dealt with it but mostly just put it in a box, push it into the recesses of my mind and act like I was fine. I was always fine, afterall.
It would take years to realize that call was the catalyst for the most glorious fall from of a life of denial and a life half lived to being unable to deny how I was not living at all.
Having the unique ability to disassociate meant it took a long time to realize what was happening. I was struggling, I knew that. Nothing was like it was before, I couldn’t push things away like I had been able to in the past. I had started writing as a way to express my thoughts and feelings. I had stopped writing years earlier when a guidance counselor told me that writing was a pipe dream and I should consider a degree change. So I did.
Everything happens for a reason though and as Ernest Hemingway says “In order to write about life, you must first have lived”. As I felt called to write again I didn’t seem in control of my pen. What came out surprised even me. I was writing from somewhere other than my head.
It was somewhere deep, saying and writing the truth in a way I had never been able to see or face.
And while the journey had long since been started, one journal entry turned blog post changed everything – it was this post that really started my journey to the hardest and darkest parts of my life.
I finally let myself fall, knees hitting the ground, I could no longer pretend I was fine:
Originally published on Tonya, Uncensored – my blog.
We’re not meant to be managed. We’re not here as an accessory.
Have you ever hit rock bottom? Emotionally? I have. I stood in the darkest moment of my life, lost my passion, lost my zest for life and wondered “what does it all mean?” Have you ever felt like you were caught in the “Truman Show”? Like a rat in a cage, going round and round in circles, but knowing that this isn’t how life is meant to be?
I should say, I was on my knees in the darkest hour, what’s next? Get a job? Try a different lifestyle? Why not sit home and drink beer and eat chips like so many other people do. Preaching about weight loss when it seems the world doesn’t care most of the time. They know it’s bad for them and yet they pull up to the drive through window like hamsters on a wheel… wake up, eat, work, eat, watch tv, eat, surf the net, eat. I felt like I was on the outside looking in, trying to shake people awake and then I found myself wondering “do I even care anymore?” If people don’t care about themselves, how can I keep caring about them? And I felt hopeless. You have your hand up, but the teacher won’t pick you and the louder you yell pick me pick me, the more she ignores you.
And for a brief time I thought, what if I stopped caring? What if I got a job and life was easier? Would I really be giving up? Sure, I make a “decent living” but it’s never been about the money for me. If I won the lottery tomorrow, I’d still do this. Quitting was impossible but continuing, also impossible.
That’s stuck, in a big way.
And I couldn’t move. I felt like I couldn’t breath. I couldn’t sleep but I couldn’t get up. I felt like lead and I wondered, maybe I should just worry about myself and stop fixing everyone. Maybe I should give up.
And I did give up. Inside. I was going through the motions. Get up. Walk the dogs. Get breakfast. Work without passion or purpose or focus. I felt lost. I can’t continue but I can’t quit. I felt torn and raw and broken. I pulled away from people. I deleted people on social media. I stopped seeing the beauty of the world. I saw negativity. I saw hate. I felt rage and pain and bitterness.
And then I saw and felt nothing. I felt like nothing. Without purpose there is no passion and without passion, there is nothing. And the darkness became so heavy that getting up seemed impossible. I thought "where is the girl I used to be? Why can’t I find her? Why can’t I motivate myself? Why can’t I use all of the tools that I know to get me up? Why hasn’t anyone noticed that I don’t give a shit about anything anymore? Does anyone even care? If I wasn’t here, would they even notice?"
And that’s where I found rock bottom. I always thought it would be horrible. I heard stories of it and I’ve had some low points in my life… but nothing like this. When you look around the landscape of your life amid the abundance you have and feel nothing, you can’t will yourself to be happy because you feel purposeless. That was my rock bottom.
But in the darkness a part of me knew I had to stay there. I had to feel the realness, the rawness and the messiness of life, the pain, the hurt, the fear, the scars, the healing, the tears. I cried more in a week than I had in all the years prior and there I found her. The Wild Souled Woman who was buried beneath the garbage of life. The part of me that I no longer recognized… caught up in the day to day, fitting into life as we know it, caught on the treadmill, stuck in the rat race, doing what we should, colouring inside the lines.
And there I found myself And I wrote this:
We weren’t born to be managed, to fit into a box, to sit on a pedestal or a shelf and look pretty. We weren’t born to be brainwashed step ford wives who do as we’re told and look pretty and colour inside the lines and know our place. Few can handle our energy, our passion and our zest for life and so they box us in because they fear us, and we let them because we’re afraid of it ourselves. We don’t fit the mould. In fact, we were born to break the mould. We know there’s some wild, visceral and primitive inside us clawing to get out- to dance free in the sunshine and the rain, to jump in puddles and crawl through the mud. We’re alive at the core, a fire in our soul that ignites the world around us, animals talk to us and through us, the universe is aligned with us, people gravitate to us but we want to be left alone, to play in the playground of life, in experience, to feel the rawness and beauty of and perfection in our perfectly imperfect lives. We can knockout a crowd in a little black dress, heels and the perfect shade of lipstick but We’re messy, some might say broken, but they don’t yet know the call of the wild – the untamed passion and life that flows in us and through us.
I am a woman. Let me spell it for you G.O.D.D.E.S.S.
Hear me growl, because I’m not supposed to.
And then I got up from my knees and knew my purpose was to help women everywhere, find and tap into their inner Goddess, to light up a room with charm, stamina, charisma. Light came to the darkness but the darkness showed me who I really was. The darkness brought me to a place inside of myself that I had never allowed myself to be or even see… a wild souled woman who is not here to fit the mold, who is not here to be managed but who is here to break the mold and help women, everywhere, find their own inner wild woman.
As I share my story, it is not linear. It moves, as my journey unfolded, from present to past and back to present to ancient wisdom and modern strategies to help me through it all, to older and deeper and more recent wounds.
When we dive into the questions of how it got all fucked up we aren’t led on a neat and tidy journey. Things we do today, what we believe, is all related to numerous moments of impact – things and experiences that shaped our thoughts and belief systems, maybe even changed us permanently so we could be in a world we didn’t make sense of.
As I tell my story it’s an unravelling, an unbinding, an unchaining, of sorts, of what lead to “this” that I was struggling so deeply with – the search took me all over the place and the re-telling of the story will shift.
Chapter 1: The Wild
The first time I called myself a Wild Souled Woman I felt something inside of me awaken.
It was the fist time I spoke the absolute truth. I felt in my soul this was who I really was, not the half living, scared, needing to fit in, looking for approval in all the wrong places person I had been living as. It had come on the heels of the most spectacular fall, smashing my kneecaps and everything I believed to be true in the process. The wild I discovered is something that beats in every fiber of our being, that is inside of us. We
are wild, instinctual, and intuitive by nature. But it’s beaten, burned and conditioned out of us.
The madness and sadness I had been feeling when I wrote those words – I AM A WILD SOULED WOMAN – stirred something powerful inside of me. I was awakened to more, to the possibility that something raw, visceral and wild was coursing through my veins.
And it was determined to find it’s way to the surface.
I had been living as though I were an ornament with no other purpose than to please others, to look pretty, to color inside the lines and not make others upset. But I wasn’t born to sit on a shelf and look pretty, my only value in my looks and my body.
I wasn’t born to keep the peace. I was born to rock the boat, to upend things and while I had fallen gloriously into the pits of hell, I was about to rise and I was going to take the whole damn world with me.
I had felt the sting of not being good enough my entire life. I was running from what I believed to be the truth of being a broken, hurt, damaged girl. The more I accomplished, the more I was hiding from that reminder of who I was, where I came from and what I had experienced. Nothing could hide my obsession with my looks –it overshadowed everything else.
My only true value was in my body – that no matter what else I knew I could meet my needs that way.
I was now acutely aware of how I had been living, how much I put in what others thought of me and if the outside looked good then perhaps no one would notice the cracks inside. No amount of degrees, approval or hours worked, or boxes checked off on an imaginary checklist “get all this and be enough” to make me feel enough.
I didn’t realize how little I was living, striving to be good enough, to be perfect enough. I don’t recall a time in my life where my body wasn’t my main focus. There was a brief blissful time of pure happiness when I started my fitness journey and healed my eating disorders.
Within a short time I became a trainer and I was back to being measured by forces outside of me to say if I was good enough. Did I have this set of abs or what was my weight? My body was again more important than anything else.
I now realize how much I was perfecting the outside without looking into the inside. I was running from myself and nothing could hide that forever.
Layer by layer life has provided me with the learning I needed to come home to me, to my own wild soul. I have always wanted everything to be finished NOW. I didn’t like to wait. But as I’ve realized, the lessons will be repeated until we learn them and we will be constantly presented with opportunities to clear, change and grow into the people we are.
Finally understanding that I was not here to be a toy, an ornament, was profound and freeing in ways I cannot explain. Without a good body, who was I? What did I represent? What did I stand for? Why was I here and why had my life been so full of pain and failure?
And yet, why did I still strive forward. Why did I know so many people who never took chances, never took risks or who learned from their mistakes? Why did I always keep going, keep pushing to find a way through? Why didn’t I go away with my tail between my legs and give up?
My knees had hit the ground and I was forced to see how I had shown up, how I had been living, or better yet, not living, life. When I knew I was a wild souled woman, when I declared that I felt it in every fiber of my being as the truth. But I had no idea what it really meant, but I knew it was my destiny. I was wild. There was something inside of me that was clawing to get out. I had been stuffed down, silenced, trying to be the good girl, the pleaser, to be seen and heard and feel important.
I felt the need to breathe, to break free, kick and scream and not care about making a scene or how it sounded or looked and felt.
I was living for attention, starved for affection, and I got it in any way possible. It became the very root of my existence – to try to be enough. And yet I always seemed to come up short. No matter what I did or accomplished it never seemed to be enough.
My measure of worth had been on my body only – if I was pick material that told me I was enough. I cringe thinking about that. I even asked my husband “but would you pick me up”? A pick up is not a measure of your looks, sex appeal or anything else except how easily you can be used.
I was usable. Disposable. Realizing this was painful. But it was necessary for me to see what I had put value in, how I measured my worth.
Removing the veils, unearthing the layers, looking at the things I’d avoided seeing for so long, facing the truth of how I was living my life led me to the wild, that instinctual nature that we all have inside of us. I buried that a long time ago, when I buried a part of myself.
While many people who know me today could never imagine me as a scared, pathetic, desperate person. That is the truth of how I was living. I never felt like I could fit in anywhere, no matter who I became, how much I changed.
Those who see me today think I stand up for things; that courage lights my path, but it didn’t always. I wasn’t always brave. I still don’t feel brave most days but I’ve learned that I have an inner voice that knows who I am, knows the path I am here to follow and what feels good to my soul and I try my hardest to listen to that voice.
I’m not always successful and sometimes I fail, but along the journey I discovered that the fall is just as important the rise. We cannot become who we are if we don’t explore who we have been and why.
We cannot create new patterns if we don’t clear away the triggers that bring us back into the old stories, the old habits, and the old patterns. People call it nature versus nurture. I call it conditioning. We become what we needed to become, what we were conditioned to become, what we thought we had to become in order to survive, to fit in, be accepted.
Removing that conditioning requires a willingness to explore the darkness inside of us and see how we have been truly living, what we have valued and believed in.
When we fit into places because we change who we are, it’s not the right fit. Our willingness to stand alone, to be who we are, is what will help us find where do fit, who we do fit with, who our tribe is. When we change ourselves we will never feel like we fit because we aren’t who we are and we have to hide from ourselves.
It’s like building a new house on a rotten foundation. Its going to crumble. When I first changed my life through fitness and eating well and changing how I thought, that was phase 1 – phase 2 was the clearing out of the foundation and starting anew. That’s why I fell, because I had changed a lot but I never got into the foundation of what I had built my life, and therefore old patterns and habits, on.
We all have a shadow side and ignoring the shadow, band aiding and pretending will not help us find the elusive happiness. In fact, the search for happiness is the very cause of unhappiness. What if instead we searched for ourselves, who we are in a world that has constantly told us how to be, how to live, what to do, what we can be and can’t be?
What if happiness is not the goal at all but that finding and becoming who you are is the ultimate goal and that will lead you to happiness?
Most people get to a place in life where they begin asking bigger more profound questions. You might find yourself at a place where you have done everything that was supposed to make you happy, but it didn’t. Or your children are grown and they were your sole purpose for living and now they don’t need you like they did and you’re lost – wondering what’s next? Or you’ve found yourself on the end of crisis, wondering how it got so fucked up?
The 3rd one was mine with a splash of the 1st one. We get to a place in life where we question is this all there is? What am I living for? We realize that we had an idea of what life would be like and we ended up nowhere that image. Our blueprint in life (the idea of what it would be like) versus the reality we live in daily are often in conflict and that’s why we experience suffering.
How many times have you finished a goal, gotten where you wanted to be only to realize it didn’t give you what you wanted. It’s why people revert to old behaviors, because we think losing the weight, getting the money, the job, the partner, the children will give us something.
But it does not. Nothing outside of you can give you what’s missing from the inside. We focus on the surface problems and not on the real problem. What causes us to silence ourselves, take a back seat, and get off the path? What causes us to settle, to pretend we don’t want what we do want? What causes us to create the same cycles over and over again?
I was obsessed with my body. I thought if I could get the perfect body I would find happiness. I would feel complete. But I never did and no matter how perfect my body became I didn’t feel any closer to who I was. In fact, I often felt more frustrated because I didn’t understand why I still felt like crap or why things were still going wrong.
I thought my weight was the magic solution to fixing everything, if I was thin enough I’d get _______ (love, attention, approval, confidence, fit in, acceptance).
Finding my wild helped me realize that nothing I wanted was fixable outside of me. The wild is a place inside that can only be accessed when we’re willing to go inward to explore the darkness, explore our behaviors, and explore our emotions, feeling and life experiences that led us to make the decisions we did and believe what we believe.
We need to learn about who we are, what drives us and what motivates us to do the things we things we do, what we are really seeking and only then can we sink into who we are really, clearing out the old stuff and building ourselves anew – like a phoenix rising from the ashes.
I had called myself a lot of things over my lifetime – fat, ugly, stupid, weak, not good enough, a loser, no one would like me, no one would love someone like me.
The easiest way to being wanted was through sex appeal. I could always feel wanted and significant by selling out my soul for a brief encounter that met my short needs but robbed me of myself long-term.
Through the darkest of days in my life, days where I couldn’t imagine going on but couldn’t imagine ending it, searching for the answer to my pain and suffering emerged this vision, this truth, this me that I had never seen before....
The wild is a place within and my story is about my own unchaining to find my own wild soul and let that lead my life...
The wild is a place within you, too...
Today the final cover was approved.
We are weeks away from the Early Launch for those who supported the campaign by picking up a ...
I'm SO excited to let you know that after meeting with my publisher - Morgan James - today we have settled a few things :) And I ...
I wanted to land in your inbox this morning to say THANK YOU for your patience. Wow, I thought writing a book would be the hardest ...
We have some exciting news to share today!
We expect the book to be in stores and available for public release Late 2019/Early 2020 ...
Hi! I'm so excited to follow up with you and confirm that Morgan James will be publishing Unchained!
We signed the deal just a ...
Very exciting email this evening as I say "we have a book deal" because that includes YOU... as someone who has picked up a ...
There's just one hour left to get final copies of the Unchained book and support the project!
Thank you to everyone who has ...
Hey! Just a quick update that we've got about 48 hours left to the campaign. We've already hit our key numbers but the ...
I'm so excited to say we've hit 100% of the required orders! If you haven't picked up your copy yet, you can ...
Ok, the actual numbers on the site are sitting at 457 but we've got 60 more books coming down the pipes tomorrow.
We've just had an amazing offer that's coming in tomorrow, if all goes well... for 60 books :0
That means we have only ...
OMG! We've just hit 416 books sold. I'm surrounded by some seriously amazing people - friends who have stepped up to support me in ...
I'm gonna be 100% honest with you - I've done a lot of scary things in my life. But none as intense as this ...
We've just unlocked our sponsorship package for 100 books for $1000! You can do what you wish with the books - give them away or ...
With 23 days left for the campaign of the books, I just got off the phone with my Campaign Manager and we had an amazing ...
Hello my beautiful friends and followers and supporters of this campaign. I won't lie. This month has been intense. Working through a lot of ...
We're down to the wire and into the sprint stage of the book. Thank you so much for your ongoing and continued support! ...
We're so excited to announce that we've got 4 publishers interested in the book and we've hit more than 25% of our ...
I'm so excited to share with you that we've reached our first goal! We have exceeded 100 copies in a short time - 36 ...