A Maternal Mental Health Map for Life After Loss
How one Mama healed her heart while road-schooling her young son over 22,000 miles, across 17 states and through 3 countries, during 2 years of a global pandemic and after the loss of her life partner. This Mama Caravan has hit the road and will have you believing in the magical power of love once more.
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Across the globe, governmental health boards, including the CDC, are reporting on the increasing complexity of maternal mental health. These reports also cite the high unmet need for support that mothers around the world experience. Current headlines from UNICEF, Harvard, The Guardian, americanprogress.org & more, scream: “World not delivering quality maternal health care to poorest mothers!” “9.8 million working mothers in the US are suffering from burnout!” and “America is failing its black mothers!” As Charlotte Naughton wrote in her article, “Why don’t we care about new mother’s suffering?” nearly half of British mothers experience an emotional or mental health problem that could go on to have long-term effects on their relationships with their children or spouses.
As mothers, we have to remember how to prioritize our mental health. In order to do this, we have to appear “selfish” by no longer putting our children or our men before our own needs. Understanding what our base-line self care requirements are is tantamount. We have to be able to identify when and how we need help and, as mothers, we must have a community that we can turn towards.
Yet, in light of broken families due to intergenerational trauma, living in a culture that expects us to move away from our families of origin and the breakdown of in-person community, how do we do this?
We have to know how to create the village we each so desperately need. We need to think outside of the box and be creative problem solvers. We can crowdfund our needs - from our postpartum periods to vacation getaways for the whole family or even an annual sabbatical just for Mama. Everyone deserves support and a break.
At 37-years of age and after the birth of my only child, my life-long educator lens shifted its gaze towards women’s health and well-being. In response to what I noticed was lacking then (in 2014), I created numerous programs for supporting mothers, children and families. I worked with friends and clients to set themselves up for success during their first 40 days after labor and delivery. I volunteered at my local birth center and held a free, weekly meeting for new mothers and their babies. I opened up my suburban home as a “one stop shop” where mothers could leave their children safely supervised in our backyard children’s garden as they enjoyed massage, acupuncture and other activities designed to promote their self care, inside.
As well, in the wake of my life partner’s death and the onslaught of Covid, I prioritized mine and my son’s mental health. I did this by buying a van and hitting the road. Over three, separate Mama Caravan tours, my son and I spent ample time in nature where I soothed my nervous system, with frequent cold dips in bodies of water found in the Pacific Northwest for example. Driving over 12,000 miles in total, I had the time and space to feel, express and release all of my feelings, including my grief, rage and fear. I had to do this because given my personal trauma from losing the love of my life to having experienced early childhood emotional and physical abuse, I knew that mine and my son’s emotional bodies would not survive isolation and social distancing intact.
Mothers
Cara H. Cadwallader is an embodiment artist and dance philosopher who dances with the pen on the page as well as her feet on the Earth.
A master of embodiment, Cara has spent over 35 years exploring, studying and performing movement and all of its metaphors. Over the past fifteen years, Cara's main investigation has been in how she can deeply connect to herself, others and our planet.
A creator of joy-filled, diverse and warm spaces, Cara co-founded a community gathering space and dance studio for organic connection in downtown San Diego. With the birth of her only child, Cara shifted her educator lens towards women’s health and well-being as well as in co-creating a village space for families to gather. Now, after having survived miscarriage, her partner’s 4th stage cancer diagnosis and subsequent death, Cara's book The Mama Caravan is a hopeful journey through the stormy waters of loss and grief as well as a maternal mental health map for how other mothers can remember how to prioritize their mental health and emotional bodies.
Driving over 12,000 miles across the USA while embodying her emotions and feelings, Cara worked to better understand how to care for herself and be more present and available to her young son. This is how she has coped with her shock and trauma in finding herself as a lone Mother in this brave new world of Covid, calamity, and chaos.
250 copies • Partial manuscript.
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Hi beauties,
This path to publishing The Mama Caravan: A Maternal Mental Health Map for Life After Loss has already reminded me that we all have magical …
Hi You,
Burt and I packed up our So Cal life over 3 years ago now. So many of you were such a vibrant part of our …
I look forward to reading your book! What a gift it is to share your journey with the world! Thank you!
Happy and proud for you!
💕
From one mama to another, buena suerte!
Love you Cara. So inspired by you
This is bold brave and burtiful!
Keep on posting about this. The way FB algorithms are, it takes many times for everyone to see it!
Bless you!!
on July 22, 2022, 4:05 p.m.
Yay for Mama's. Yay for writers. Yay for community support. Wishing you a continuing, magical journey with this project.
Love,
Carol Shamon