Life is too short to spend it spinning in circles, stuck in survival mode, feeling unfulfilled. Your time to thrive has arrived... leave the busyness rule book behind.
||England, United Kingdom
||13 publishers interested
Life is too short to spend it living in constant overwhelm, heading to a destination you didn’t consciously set… it’s time to do life differently. No pushing or striving required.
The modern world is a virtual playground - full of life-liberating gadgets, endless information, virtual realities at the touch of a button and a plethora of opportunities. Despite this instantly accessible abundance however, stress and anxiety levels are increasing and it’s become the norm to be overwhelmed and to simply survive, rather than thrive.
It seems we have too much choice - too much of a good thing – and it’s hard to hear our own guidance amongst the noise. Having successfully progressed through the last half century to the point where we can have it all – we're now realising we actually have too much.
The Magical Unfolding from Helen Rebello shows busy women how to transcend the busyness and uncover a more fulfilling and nourishing way to live, work and thrive on their unique terms. Her evolutionary 8-step M.A.G.I.C.A.L process combines esoteric concepts, intuitive wisdom and modern-day psychology in a grounded, structured, enjoyable way - helping women tap back into their own limitless well of peace, power and purpose.
This book represents Helen's call for a peaceful rebellion. She wrote it because she learned the hard way how damaging it was to live her life from the perspective of her head - and how magical it is to live from your heart instead.
With a background in Western Medicine, several years of training in Eastern Based Disciplines, and over a decade spent living and working mindfully with professional women, Helen believes that if we all learn to live our lives from a more present, aligned, purposeful place, together we will create a better world.
By reading The Magical Unfolding, each reader will discover and work through eight processes that give them the tools and roadmap to mindfully lay new foundations for their joyful today and their more fulfilled tomorrows. This is ‘spirituality by stealth’ - a bridge between ancient and modern approaches to self-actualisation.
The book is structured into three core sections, preceded by the introduction and prologue.
The introduction sets the scene and the prologue shares the true story of the first time I woke up from the nightmare that was my life, and started actively directing it. I fast-forward 23 years to offer a glimpse of how magically my subsequent life journey unfolded - gifting the reader a glimpse of what is possible for them too.
Part One: An empowering and thought-provoking section inviting self-enquiry and igniting possibility. This section introduces the concept of how the world around us influences our entire belief system, and how that can stop us from accessing our innate potential. Exploring stress, busyness and society ‘rules’, I explore the myths we believe and invite the reader to explore a different, more empowering perspective.
Part Two: Each chapter in this section shares a step-by-step breakdown of my unique M.A.G.I.C.A.L process, combining real stories, insights, practical exercises derived from eastern practices, and visualisations.
Part Three: Containing information on maintaining change and details of further resources to support the reader. This chapter celebrates the journey so far, and helps the reader continue their exploration into this more nourishing and aligned way of living their life by offering ways to maintain their momentum.
At the beginning of each chapter there will be a quote introducing the chapter, and each chapter ends with a 'summary for your soul' and a 'magical mission' to facilitate change and optimise learning for the reader.
Part One - The Myth
Chapter 1. The Matrix Myth
Chapter 2. Meet the Real You
Chapter 3. The Actual Matrix
Part Two - The M.A.G.I.C.A.L Process -
Chapter 4. Step 1 - Unfold Your Cape of Possibility
Chapter 5. Step 2 - Motivate Yourself - Own Your Miraculousness
Chapter 6. Step 3 - Assess Yourself - Embrace Your Uniqueness
Chapter 7. Step 4 - Ground Yourself - Uncover Your Superpowers
Chapter 8. Step 5 - Ignite Yourself - Honour Your Inner Sparkle
Chapter 9. Step 6 - Centre Yourself - Rediscover Your Core Potential
Chapter 10. Step 7 - Align Yourself - Unravel Your Magical Manifesto
Chapter 11. Step 8 - Liberate Yourself - Claim Your Personal Power
Part Three - Maintaining the Magic
Chapter 12. Protecting Your Cape of Possibility
My primary audience are women aged 36-50, who feel stuck and have a chronic problem with over-serving, to the detriment of themselves. They generally feel tired and overwhelmed and want simple ways to access more peace. These women are kind-hearted, altruistic and have seen their parents dedicate their lives to working hard and striving to look after their families before themselves. They have also seen the rise of self-employment, opportunity and the slow erosion of the 'one job for life' paradigm of the Baby Boomer generation.
They are at a crossroads where they recognise it is time to be more present and honour themselves more. They crave better balance and either haven't fully uncovered their true purpose, or lack conviction about what it is. They feel fearful about change, but know they cannot ignore their inner voice anymore – so they want to know how to start living life with more fulfilment and ease.
These women are intelligent, driven and educated, often with all the trappings of success on the outside. They are affluent, but time-poor and as a result, are actively seeking self-development resources to help them. They have satisfied their primary needs according to Maslow's hierarchy of needs and are moving towards seeking Self-Actualisation – whether they realise it consciously or not.
According to a 2015 Nielson surveys, over 50% of this generation value staying fit and healthy above making money. They understand that their health is dependant upon a more holistic approach to life, and so are beginning to explore things like yoga, meditation, mindfulness and ways to access their intuition, or find their purpose.
Women aged between 51-65 are the second biggest group seeking self-led solutions for more fulfilment. Women in this generation either have older children, or are childless by circumstance, and they are focusing on themselves more than they did previously. Over 60% of baby boomers aspire to personal fitness and health goals, as they know that they are more likely than previous generations to live longer lives.
Despite this knowledge, these women feel like time is speeding up and they have a sense of wanting to get things ticked off their bucket list before it is too late. They have more awareness of the fragility of life and tend to have a proactive approach to life – actively choosing to do what they can to stay well and find time to do things they love.
Like generation X, baby boomers are seeking solutions for better health and fulfilment because they feel overwhelmed. They are disillusioned by 'quick fixes' and empty promises and want processes rather than inspiration – because they want to see results from someone they can relate to.
According to online statistics, baby boomers are not only the most accepting generation when it comes to mindfulness and self-development; they also practice it most. They are educated, logical, engaged and respectful women who are conscious of the world around them, and want to contribute positively to it.
I'm Helen and I love working with female entrepreneurs to rediscover their soul purpose, so that they create aligned, fulfilling lives and
businesses of their dreams.
If you look at me today, you'll see someone that is happy in their own skin, stands fully and unapologetically in their power and has a life and business they love. After a lifetime fear of public speaking, I can now happily speak on stage - moving an entire room with intuitive, unscripted words. I know this because that's what people tell me.
However, even though I now wake up daily feeling grateful and humble to have a life I love, at one point I was so lost and broken that the only thing that saved me from suicide, was an inner curiosity spark that wouldn't let me leave. There were times when I was so wrapped up in self-loathing and depression that I couldn't leave the house and I would barely speak for days. This happened because I disconnected from who I
was in my core - and I started to believe and follow external rules and opinions. I thought I was broken and not good enough and as a result I
completely lost my way.
After leaving an unsatisfying and stressful NHS career, I trained for several years in Eastern modalities such as Shiatsu, Cranio-Sacral
Therapy, Meditation and Yoga; opening up new worlds and rediscovering myself in the process. The theories and practices I learned were my
My journey back home to myself encompassed many years of learning, practice, self-development and magic. Like most of us, I've stumbled and risen many times, and have physical and mental scars to prove it. As
sure as day follows night, I've come through the other side stronger, wiser, happier, more self-accepting and deeply peaceful. I’ve learned
how to live life differently - in a way that honours who I came here to be - and now I empower others to do that too.
Since 2004, I have worked with hundreds of professional women to help them find peace, uncover their purpose and reach their potential. I’ve combined the best of my eastern and western wellness training, mindset tools and science-backed neuropsychology into my personal signature process - introduced in this book for the first time.
I have contributed to several best-selling books - but this book is the one in my heart. My hope is that it will impact your heart too.
o Personal Facebook Page: 584
o Company Facebook page: 693
o LinkedIn: 283
o Email list: 546
o Twitter: 2490
o Instagram: 1003
o Website: www.thetranquilpath.co.uk
Publications, Interviews and Speaking:
Contributed to four Amazon best-selling self-help books: 365 Ways to Connect With Your Soul, 365 Moments of Grace and 365 Life Shifts by Jodi Chapman et al and Hot Women Rock by author and therapist Pat Duckworth.
Contributor to upcoming book by Lesley Pyne. You can see more here: http://www.lesleypyne.co.uk/in...
Featuring as a case study in Nadia Finer’s upcoming book, Little Voice, Big Business.
Engel Jones #12minconvos podcast in March 2017: http://www.twelveminuteconvos....
Jennifer Blossom of Blossom To Be Fit: Why taking care of yourself is so important
Author Faith Canter: Moving from fear into love
Author Faith Canter: On walking the Tranquil Path
Author Pat Duckworth: Creating pockets of peace and calm
Social Stylist Melanie Mackie: Finding the balance between life and work
TEDx Speaker & Author Andrea Pennington: On finding your life purpose & soulful success
Upcoming podcast interview in November 2017 with Sarah Swanton of the Happy Healthy Entrepreneur - http://sarahswanton.com/blog/
Public speaking event organised by Chrisoula Sirigou, The Golden Muse. A summary of what I spoke about is here: http://www.chrisoulasirigou.co...
Talk at The Story Party in 2017: ‘How I found my feet in my forties’: https://youtu.be/hvI8EQRWRfk
Talk and guided group CALM process (my creation) for 100 clinicians at Hakim Group Annual Conference 2016.
Various guest posts for other solopreneurs due to be released soon.
Building my list over the next 6 months, with support from Dr. Andrea Pennington, who is interviewing me for 12 episodes on America Out Loud in 2017, and helping me build my online platform to establish me as a transformational expert. Currently creating an omnichannel marketing campaign to increase my online following, compiling a portfolio of online resources and building a new Magical Mindset Mastery Academy membership site at www.helenrebello.com
I am actively creating a strategic plan for network outreach and relationship building within high profile hubs, including The Wellness Universe (reach of 100k monthly) of which I am a recent member, Women in Business network and the Evolutionary Business Council. My aim is to cross-promote via members.
Social Media: I am planning to offer weekly live Facebook videos on my business page and in my Facebook group from September 2017 to grow my tribe and generate interest in the book.
As the book nears release, these videos will focus on book topics and be promoted across all social media channels. I am active on Instagram and will be sharing videos on here weekly, as well as actively building relationships and partnerships with influencers. I am part of an established group of eight other wellness providers serving women on Instagram, who between them have over 91k followers. They will happily promote my book when it nears publication.
Free online course to accompany the printed book: I intend to create a course to be released alongside the book, which will have a module to accompany each stage of the M.A.G.I.C.A.L process. The free course will be promoted in advance using the strategies above. I will also approach other wellness entrepreneurs to contribute bonus material to the book and provide them with marketing materials to cross-promote the book.
Online Media: I have a proven track record of being able to package up my expertise, as I have created 4 online courses. I have structured plans for guest posts, blogs, articles, meditations and videos.
According to an article published on Huffington Post in 2016, the self-help and self-improvement market is continuing to grow exponentially, as more people seek ways to guide themselves to greater self-actualisation.
Recent titles available in this market:
The Motivation Manifesto: 9 Declarations to Claim Your Personal Power by Brendon Burchard (Hay House, 2014)
A wonderfully inspirational book, offering exactly what it promises to –motivation and a manifesto to inspire personal change. This is a book written from the perspective of not allowing any excuses or self-delusion. It serves a purpose for someone who is already familiar with self-enquiry, but is less accessible for someone who is yet to work through their own personal discovery process. The Motivation Manifesto raises awareness of the modern dilemma of sleepwalking through life, but offers less in the way of practical, grounded advice to transcend that.
Conversely, The Magical Unfolding combines Western and Eastern medical and psychological knowledge with techniques derived from Shiatsu, yoga, mindfulness, meditation and Chi Gung, taking readers through a guided process that is accessible for all women, regardless of their current level of self-awareness. It empowers women with realistic steps, without making them feel as though they have failed in any way.
Heartatude: The 9 Principles of Heart-Centered Success by Alisoun Mackenzie (G2P Publishing, 2015)
This book offers a more compassionate and holistic approach to self-fulfilment through personal transformation, and also combines stories with science and ancient wisdom in a structured process. It is a wonderful book, offering great principles to live by. However it does focus primarily on the principles of heart-intelligence and the emotions of the heart, which are likely to appeal more to those that are already more open to these concepts.
The Magical Unfolding also invites exploration of the heart; however it does so from the grounded perspective of those used to years spent following their head. Living from your heart doesn't mean a lot to most people; whereas fear and resistance are all too familiar - I will introduce the concept this way - exploring how we transpose painful emotions into something better.
The Map: Finding the Magic and Meaning in the Story of Your Life by Colette Baron-Reid (Hay House, 2011)
This book invites a personal journey into a world populated by archetypes, and has an air of magic and mystery in the way that it is written. It invites a deep inner journey for readers who are on a spiritual quest – and for that reason, tends to appeal more to readers who are already very spiritual. This book aims to bring readers to a state of inner peace, by helping them identify what sabotages them and enabling them to see the part they play in co-creating their world – but it offers less of a practical process than The Magical Unfolding does.
In The Magical Unfolding I also highlight the role we play in our own life patterns - showing people practical exercises, mindset shifts, and Taoist energy techniques to free them from old patterns and shift their energy step-by-step.
Happy for No Reason: 7 Steps to Being Happy from the Inside Out by Marci Shimoff (Free Press, 2008)
This book is easy to understand, enjoyable to read, and shares simple ways to access greater happiness. It is a less personal book than The Magical Unfolding, as it shares stories gathered from others that have found happiness, but it does utilise the power of story telling to illustrate its concepts. Happy for No Reason is unapologetically spiritual in its approach and although it backs up the content with research, it will appeal more to an audience already invested in the idea of the Law of Attraction.
The main difference between the approaches I share and those shared by Shimoff, is that whilst my approach includes spiritual concepts, it presents them in a more grounded and holistic way. The practices I share help women to begin looking at their lives differently so that they have the energy to do the things that them joy and end each day with a smile, no matter what the day sends their way.
"I have always been delighted at the prospect of a new day, a fresh try, one more start, with perhaps a bit of magic waiting somewhere behind the morning." ~ J.B. Priestley
Would you like the energy to do the things that bring you joy and to end each day with a smile on your face, no matter what the day sends your way?
Life can be turbulent, demanding, unpredictable and overwhelming. It can feel like a whirlwind as you're constantly bombarded by the needs of others, distractions, noise and the never-ending onslaught of information. It's like spinning on a hamster wheel without a stop button, having no sense of control or power over the outcome.
It's stressful, it clouds your sense of direction, and it means you go to bed with little idea about how you actually spent your day. It makes you question what life is all about, how it got to feel this way and whether it's possible to change things. When life looks like this, the concept of peace and fulfilment seem as utterly ridiculous as that proverbial 'chocolate fireguard' does.
Given that you only have this one precious life, and that you are a unique, once in a lifetime soul, wouldn't it be wonderful if you could find solid ground again, so that you can establish some new foundations for your life and start consciously creating your days?
What if the reason you're here is completely different from the one you think? If everything you've been told about how to make decisions and choices is wrong and it's much simpler to find your purpose than you've believed?
What if your purpose is not about achievement; becoming something or discovering anything – rather it is about fully, unapologetically embodying yourself? You as you already are – but with the magical addition of a different life-lens that shows you another way to be.
Does this awaken a sense of excitement, fear, dread or disbelief? Or does it merely confirm a suspicion you've had inside for a while – one that you've been longing to hear someone else express?
It is entirely possible to transform and transcend the daily grind, to know what to do each day, feel motivated, inspired, energised, free, happy, courageous and strong. You can access this – it's not for the chosen few. You are human – you have experienced all these qualities at times and you contain endless seeds of possibility within you that you can choose to grow.
Once you journey back home to your core and find your own truth and your own answers, you will begin to slowly unfold your life to a more expansive one. It's not only an incredible journey, but a way of living and being that feeds your soul and nourishes your heart.
It grants you freedom from the desire to please, to say yes to everything, to be all things to all people, to bend over backwards for everyone but yourself, and to burn out because you want to heal the world.
This world needs more peaceful warriors, people who have become who they came here to be. People who are awake, aware and present. People who know who they are, what they're here for, what they believe in and who do what honours them, whilst also honouring others.
These are the new lighthouse keepers of the world - helping guide the next generation to become stronger and live with more peace, presence and purpose so that the world thrives and the universe survives.
Some people would look at the subject of this book and immediately write it off because they feel as though they're already heading where they want to go or they understand how their world fits together to make the jigsaw of their lives and they have no desire to change anything.
But you are not some people. You're not even most people. You're one of those rare breed of people who admits that they have not figured it all out, who is astute enough to consider whether there is another way, has been brave enough to search for answers and was open and curious enough to pick up this book.
How do I know that? Well, I'm making an assumption here and to reassure you that I am not a Jedi mind master, I'm making it based upon years of sessions with other wonderful women who have sensed that they have more potential within them than they're currently showing to the world.
Women who care deeply about others, and worry about letting people down aren't usually sure if it's ok to want more for themselves. Women who are good at putting their needs last are not always comfortable with asking for support; but thankfully something within them reaches out anyway. Even though they feel scared and unsure, they take the first step, because they've heard an inner call that cannot be silenced and that moves them forwards through the fear of failure.
You are one of those women too. You're one of those beautiful people who doesn't realise how beautiful they are. Beautiful in the sense that you are life-curious, open to discovery, prepared to do some digging, make some changes and figure life out. Beautiful enough to recognize that maybe, there is a whole world of untapped possibility you haven't found yet. Beautiful enough not to settle for a life of 'less than'.
You have a vision for your future – it's lurking quietly and you can't fully see it – but nevertheless you know it's there waiting for you. You might not know how it feels, what it looks like and who you will be when you've uncovered it, but you're prepared to consider that it could turn into reality.
The Precipice of Possibility…
I know you want answers, but I also know you're best uncovering them yourself… because whilst I might be able to make some fairly good assumptions about you based on my lifetime of working with others like you, only you truly know your own answers…
What I can do is show you the pathway and guide you along it until you uncover your own juicy knowledge nuggets. In doing so, you'll dive ever deeper until you uncover the magic that lies within your heart and soul, waiting ready to unfold for you. The things you discover to be true for yourself are the things that will take up permanent residence in your heart. Those are the things that will help you to change your world to one you love living in – from the inside out.
If these words resonate with you, you'll be delighted to know that you are standing on the most delicious precipice you'll ever reach – the precipice of possibility. There is a part of you that will resist the truth of this… but I know that there is also a part that recognises pure truth when you see it and that's the part I'm talking to right now.
The path to you living a more aligned life lies in a combination of factors - requiring daily practice, habitualised routines, and the mastering of your mindset; knowing how to stay in flow, discovering your inner purpose and staying focused on your core desires. It's ebb and flow - a daily dance - one that ultimately results in a more peacefully present, purposeful life.
I know that sounds scary - so I've distilled the essence of this approach to life into simple, achievable steps and I'm sharing them because I believe that if we can all learn to live our lives from a more grounded, calm, mindful place, together we will create a better world.
The Magical Unfolding offers an invitation from my heart to yours, to gift yourself time to explore possibility. It gives you the power to put the bounce back in your step and the joy back in your heart… in small, manageable steps, and relatively little time.
All you need is the willingness to accept that something within you is calling for change. Add to this a pinch of patience, trust and an open mind, and you're already halfway there. This process has helped numerous people around the world – it's the one I unravelled for myself and I am living proof that it's effective.
This book provides you with a clear starting point - a place to begin making small changes - because once you've woken up to the fact that something needs to change, there's no going back...only a slow, steady journey onwards.
A journey that leads you along the magical path of self-discovery, to help you unveil a life of clarity and calm that you love inhabiting.
CHAPTER 2. MEET THE REAL YOU (SAMPLE)
What do you mean, meet the real me? I've known me all my life!
As a young child I was an open, friendly, shy and curious daydreamer. I loved life, exploring and delighted in losing myself in stories- especially those that were rich and sparked my imagination. I adored Alice in Wonderland for its jumble of characters and its quirky world, and to this day I'm known for my ability to lose myself in another world of my own creation. As a result, I inherently see the world differently, including seeing the light within everyone and their pure child-self in their faces - regardless of how old they are.
I am sharing this because this chapter invites you to meet the real you – the you that I would see if you were standing in front of me – not the you that you see in the mirror. Having established in the previous chapter that through no fault of your own the world you see is not the full reality; you are about to discover that the same is true about how you see yourself.
Before you can proceed further into your personal journey, this is a vitally important pausing place – because your magical unfolding will be so much richer if you do it from the perspective of seeing yourself as you truly are. (Stop cringing, this is going to be a wonderful discovery, really it is.).
Why is this important?
By the time I was 14 years old, I had already forgotten about the joy and wonder of the world. By this tender age, I had the awareness of an adult in a child's body. I didn't know until years later that I am an empath – I simply knew I was different and therefore got bullied at school.
Having spent my young life acutely feeling the pain of everything and everyone around me, I had concluded that the world was a negative, hurtful place, and that it was best avoided. I had no idea that it was unusual to see right through everyone, notice everything and feel unkind words cutting deeply into my being like permanent defects. I didn't know that the things I was told about myself weren't true. All I knew was that it was downright painful, noisy and unkind in the world, and that none of the things I picked up on were 'supposed' to be mentioned out loud.
Because that's not what we did in my world. Children after all, 'should' be seen and not heard. And so, I stayed silent.
Inwardly I quietly rebelled and raged. Externally I had already learnt the art of appearing untouched by others, realizing that reacting simply added fuel to their fire – and therefore my greatest weapon was to not show others my feelings.
Little did I know then that staying silent was to become my default behaviour until into my 40's – and that suppressing my voice meant that I suppressed the full expression of myself in all senses. I had no idea that it was impossible to fully experience and extract joy from life without this expression. It wasn't until I started my Shiatsu training in my 30s that I realised where I had been burying my unexpressed emotions and I learned how damaging that was.
You probably know that science has proved that energy cannot be destroyed – it can change form, but it is still energy in another form. Emotions, as powerful as they can be, are simply a type of energy in motion (E-Motion). Emotions therefore, cannot be buried and they don't go away. They simply accumulate and then transform – in my case, into disease and depression. Here's something you probably resonate with…
I got so wrapped up in believing the myth that the world had told me about myself, that I forgot my light-hearted, life-loving child self, and instead believed I was flawed. The Me that I saw as a young child did not correspond to the Me that others saw, and so I buried my true self deeply in a safe box marked 'delusions'.
I wouldn't be opening that box again for years – but what I would see in later life, is that almost all other adults carried a similar box – whether they knew it or not. A classic case of what we see mirrored in others is what we most need to see for ourselves.
Now that I've seen inside it more clearly, I call it the Broken Box.
Why we Build Boxes
We build boxes primarily to keep us safe. We don't even know we are doing it. We build them instinctively, starting to hide things in them in early childhood. Our boxes then define us, shape our world and give us meaning. We put all sorts of things in them, building walls out of our beliefs, society rules, and the messages we get from peers and parents. We use them to decide what is acceptable behaviour - and what isn't, and this becomes the basis of our belief system.
As a small child, I really liked boxes. I used to pray to the Lord of Breakages to tamper with the various big things in the house, so that my parents would have to order a new big thing - which would of course come in a wonderful big box that I could hide in. I liked boxes and small spaces so much that I built an entire world of my own in the various hiding places in my house. It meant I could escape from the real world, and instead spend time in one I preferred.
I know that I am not alone in this love of having a place of my own to hide in. Amongst children, this is a common thing – animals do it too, especially cats, who like nothing better than finding small spaces to fold themselves into. The problem is that whilst 'folding ourselves in' might protect us, it also limits us and stops us from living with full expression. Our boxes affect how we see the world, how we view others, and how we view ourselves.
When you think about, it is incredibly clever of our subconscious minds to build boxes for us – it is an inherent thing we all do without even realising it. It helps us to stay under the radar, to survive and to fit into the tribe. As an adult I perfected the art of living in boxes of my own making so well that one day, I woke up in someone else life, wondering how I got there and who on earth I was.
Our boxes give us somewhere to store our dreams, secrets and resentments. They also reinforce our limiting beliefs, keep us trapped in the lies and stories we tell ourselves about what our life means and who we are, and they give us a place to dump all the emotions we don't like expressing.
The type of broken box you have depends entirely upon your unique experiences and your belief system. There is a whole subconscious operating system protecting your box, keeping you safe from imagined danger – so not only are you dragging around boxes you don't know you have - but you're also being held back by your invisible safety committee.
I believe that we are all born with all the inner wisdom and tools we need to travel our individual paths - and that somewhere along the line, as we become conditioned, learn life-lessons, acquire layers of protection and devote our energy to others, we forget who we truly are, why we are here and how we can access our inner knowledge and power.
Your safety committee has taught you to fear change and to feel safe with familiarity. You undoubtedly resist doing things that are new or challenging as a result and it can appear so much easier to cruise along as you are, and keep things predictable. The mere thought of breaking down your boxes can be exhausting – especially as the possible gain is so intangible. That is why you so often carry on as you are. Rest assured that you are not to blame for this – research has demonstrated that we all have little compassion for our future self – and that is why we so often fail to change our habits.
Now you have more insight into why you have built your boxes and what keeps them there, the most important thing for you to realise is that you are not your box.
Knowing that is a wonderful thing – because once you've felt the truth of that in your heart, it makes it so much easier to choose to put the box down and step away….
Your broken box does not define you and without it, you will feel so much lighter. You are not a fixed entity and you have infinite capacity to change and transcend the confines of your box. The trick is to do it bit by bit, so that your safety committee barely notices, leaving you free to step away with your original self intact and unencumbered by the weight of suppression and outdated beliefs.
Your Broken Box
I invite you to dig out your self-kindness hat before you read on; because otherwise you might start telling yourself off – and that genuinely isn't my intention. Put it on, and breathe slowly as you read.
The following list aims to help you identify what delusions might live in your broken box. Knowledge is power and so identifying what you keep inside it empowers you. Later in your magical process, you'll learn how to disarm the box too.
Do you (or does that little voice inside your head) agree or disagree with any of the following statements? Notice how your body feels when you read them to yourself in your head.
a) You are enough
b) You are NOT broken
c) You have not failed
d) You are unique
e) You are a miracle
f) You matter
g) You deserve to be seen and heard
h) You are allowed to ask for what you want
i) You are allowed to rest and do nothing
j) You do not have to look after everyone
k) You do not have to be busy to gain respect
I invite you to notice what you feel in your body because this is a really gentle way to start noticing what is going on subconsciously in your system. In the best case scenario, you might have read all the statements above and agreed with every single one – but even if that was the case, I wouldn't be surprised if you noticed a little flutter, a tightening, a quickening of breath, a mini-argument in the back of your mind, or any number of other subtle responses.
It might be that you agreed or disagreed with some – but felt nothing in your body at all. That's ok – I invited you to put on your self-kindness hat for a reason. There are no rules, no rights or wrongs, and no need to tell anyone your true responses. This is the first step of changing your reality - noticing what things you believe, feel or think about are all great places to start. You will be invited to explore all these things more deeply when you get to the second part of the book.
For now, it is enough to simply realise that you have been carrying boxes around with you that contain all the things you buried to stay safe, and also contain lies about yourself that you have unwittingly acquired from others.